by Monica James
“Good,” Bull replies firmly.
“So what do we do?” I hate to state the inevitable, but I honestly have no clue what comes next without throwing Bull to the wolves.
“Scrooge is scared, and that’s why Jaws called you. He knows it’s only a matter of time.”
“But he said if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. That means—”
He cuts me off. “He is just saying he does. If he did, I’d already be dead. And so would Jordy. Scrooge knows tonight is the perfect opportunity for me to strike. They want us to think they’re two steps ahead.”
I pale at the thought. “But what if he’s not? I can’t—” But how do I finish that sentence? How do I tell Bull I can’t take that risk because my son’s life is at stake?
Bull tongues his cheek, understanding my concerns. “What do you want me to do?” he simply asks, but it’s not that straightforward.
And the reason is because of what he says next.
“Do you want me to do it? Because if you do…I will.”
New tears resurface because this sacrifice is the reason I can’t let him go. “You would trade yourself for Jordy?”
“Yes,” he replies without hesitation. “Of course, I would.”
“But that means Scrooge and Jaws would never pay the price for what they did to Damian.”
“I know.”
“And you’re okay with that?” I ask, my mouth parted in shock. This entire thing was about revenge, but now, it’s turned into something else.
Walking over, Bull gently places his hand to my cheek, brushing my tears away with his thumb. “I’m okay as long as you are.”
His reply has more tears falling, and I suddenly can’t stop.
“He’ll k-kill you,” I stutter, eyes wide. “He wants you to pay for not doing what you’re told.”
“Someone else wants me dead, Tiger. Big deal. He can wait in line. But they’re both running scared. I’m getting to them. Good.”
“So what do I do?”
He turns poignant, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. And I see a look I haven’t seen before—defeat. “When he calls, you tell him it’s a deal.”
“What?”
I don’t have a chance to get a word in edgewise because he shakes his head. “He’ll call before the gala to ensure Scrooge’s safety. When he does, you tell him to send a car to come get me.”
“Bull, no!” I plead, knowing what this means.
“Yes, Tiger. For once in your life, please, do what you’re told.”
But how can I? I will sentence Bull to death. But if I don’t, the same fate is destined for my son.
“I can’t make this choice and feel good about it.”
Bull brushes his thumb across my trembling lips before reaching into his pocket and sending a quick text. “You’re not. This is my choice.”
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe he’s just bluffing,” I say optimistically.
“Are you willing to take that risk?” he proposes firmly.
My silence says it all.
“How am I supposed to live with myself?” I whisper, hugging my middle.
Bull doesn’t reply. Instead, he walks over to Fluffball and rubs between his ears. This isn’t right. I can’t accept this as our fate. But I don’t know what else to do.
My cell rings, and I know who it is without looking. I don’t bother saying hello when I accept the call.
“Have you made a choice?”
“Yes,” I reply, swallowing down my nausea.
“And?” he smugly asks.
“And you motherfucker, you can go to hell! Send a car. Bull will come.”
He sighs in victory. “If this is a trick—”
“It isn’t,” I cut in. “Bull knows what this is. Him for Jordy. If he doesn’t do what you want, Jordy will pay.”
Bull nods calmly, while my insides wither and die.
“I told you not to underestimate your power. The power of the pussy wins yet again.”
I close my eyes, sickened.
“I’ll text you the address of where the car will be in an hour.” And the line goes dead. Just like my heart.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, keeping my eyes closed. “I don’t know how to make this right.”
“There is no right. There never was. But I suppose this is poetic justice. I took Lachlan’s life, and now I have a chance to save his son’s life. It doesn’t right the wrongs, but no more innocent people deserve to pay for the sins of the past.”
Tears flow down my cheeks, and I don’t expect them to stop.
If someone believed in karma, I suppose they could say this is Bull’s. But he doesn’t deserve this. No matter what he’s done.
With my heart in my throat, I open my eyes and run over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. “Please, there’s got to be another way.”
“I wish there was. It was careless of me to think this would work because nothing has gone according to plan so far. But it’ll be okay. I will get Jordy back to you. I promise.”
“But at what cost?” I cry, tightening my hold on him as I bury my face in his chest.
He doesn’t need to answer. We both know.
“Look after Fluffball for me?”
I sob in response.
“Whatever happens, make sure that asshole Stevie doesn’t take the club away from Lotus. Stick to the original plan, okay? As soon as Jordy is safe, you go to the police and tell them everything. I’m sorry this all falls on you now.”
“I’m the one who’s s-sorry,” I whimper. “If you never met me—”
But he doesn’t let me finish. “If I never met you…I would have never learned what it feels like to…”
The room falls silent, exposing the ferocious thrashing of my heart.
“To what?” I ask, slowly detangling myself from his embrace.
His chin is lowered, so I gently raise it with the tip of my finger.
He licks his lips. “You once asked me what prison was like.”
I nod, remembering the conversation we had in my kitchen.
“Well, I spent my late teens and most of my twenties in there. It was the only adult life I knew. So when I got out, things were so… unfamiliar. But meeting you changed that. You showed me a different side to life, one I never knew.
“You taught me that a lot of badness can be balanced with a little bit of goodness…something I didn’t think I had left inside me. I don’t understand what this…” He pauses, searching for the right word. “Feeling is inside me, but the thought of never seeing you again? I can’t fucking breathe.
“So even though I’m free, I’m still very much a prisoner…to you.”
There aren’t any words to explain how I’m feeling because like Bull, I too don’t understand this feeling inside me. This isn’t love—it’s more.
The grimmest of circumstances drew us together, and now, they’re tearing us apart.
Unable to stand the distance between us, I rise on my tippy toes and crush my mouth to Bull’s. His taste is intoxicating, but maybe it’s because I know it may be the last time I get lost in it. The kiss isn’t gentle. It’s frantic, laced with possession and control.
I can’t get enough of him and press my body against his. His warmth always melts my cold. He bites the corner of my mouth, growling when I circle my tongue with his. I want him now, always, but time is the enemy. It always has been.
He winds my hair around his fist, tilting my head so he can dominate the kiss in the most delicious of ways. I am lost to him, allowing him to control me because I love it when he loses control. Walking us toward the bed, he tosses me onto the mattress, our lips never missing a beat.
The harder he kisses me, the more desperate I am to hold on tight and never let go. I know what this means, but how do I say goodbye to the man I love? I thought I knew what love was, but I was wrong. We’re both experiencing being in love for the first time. And I can’t let that go.
“Bull,” I whimper from ar
ound his lips, snaring his long hair between my fingers. “I can’t do this.”
I thought I could, but I can’t.
I don’t know what the alternative is, but I couldn’t live with myself if I fed him to the wolves. I want him. With me. Always. There has to be a reason he came into my world…and when he shifts me higher up the bed, placing my arms above my head, I soon find out what that is.
He came into my world to save me…
In one smooth motion, he snares my wrists in his hand as he reaches into the bedside table with the other. Before I can question what he’s doing, something tight bites into my skin. I try to move, but I can’t, and that’s because I’m tied to the headboard.
My eyes snap open as Bull slides off me.
“Let me go!” I exclaim, tugging wildly against the cable tie around my wrists.
“Venus will untie you once I’m gone,” he says blankly. He knew what I was thinking, but he wouldn’t allow me to change his mind.
“Bull!” I yell, kicking my legs, hoping to somehow launch off the bed, but I’m not going anywhere. “Don’t do this. We will think of something else.”
He slips something into his pocket, ignoring me.
“Goddammit! Please don’t do th-this.” When he continues to ignore me, I say the only thing I can to help him understand how he’s ripping out my heart. “I…I lov—”
He is by my side in seconds, silencing me with his finger. “Don’t say it,” he pleads, his eyes a stormy mix of Heaven and Hell. “If you say it now, I won’t know if you mean it. If, by some miracle, we make it out alive, then you can tell me. Okay?”
He removes his chain from around his neck and places it around mine.
I open my mouth, ready to protest because I mean it—here, now, and always—but he doesn’t let me finish. He seals his mouth over mine and kisses me deliriously slow. It’s unhurried, long, and it’s filled with love. From us both.
A salty kiss goodbye is how I’ll remember Bull because with one last press of his lips to mine, he leaves me a sobbing mess. He’s gone to pay the price to bring back my son—his life.
Bull
I was almost fucking there. I almost had it all.
But I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has been a brutal bitch to me so far, so I don’t know why I expected this time to be any different.
Being within hours of killing that son of a bitch, Scrooge, fucking stings. But this decision is a no-brainer. There is no way I will risk Jordy’s life that way. If he is no longer of use to Jaws, he will kill Jordy. In turn, Tiger would die too, and that is something I will not fucking allow.
So, I have accepted defeat. I failed.
But it seems life isn’t done fucking with me just yet.
I’m filling my truck up with gas when a familiar car pulls up beside me. Groaning, I curse the motherfucking universe.
Franca winds down the window with a smile. “We have to stop meeting this way.”
I grunt in response, not in the mood for her humor. My tank isn’t full, but it’ll do. I need to get the fuck out of here before Franca gets wind of what I’m doing.
“Got a minute?” she asks as if it’s optional.
“Not really,” I reply, slamming the gas tank shut.
“I need a piss sample.”
“Now?” I ask, and she raises an eyebrow.
This is all a power play. Just like a dog lifting his leg to mark his domain. However, she’s the one in control.
“Or we can always go somewhere. Unless you’ve got somewhere else to be?”
Extending my hand, she slaps the container into my palm. The gas station is empty, so with eyes locked on her, I unzip my fly. She doesn’t look away as I begin pissing into the container. I sure as shit ain’t shy. And neither is she.
Once I’m done, I tuck myself back into my pants, screw the lid onto the container, and hand it to her.
She places it into a brown paper bag and smiles. “Where you off to in such a hurry?”
“Church,” I counter, opening my door. I already prepaid, so it’s time I split.
“You do realize I can force you to talk, right?”
I am running out of patience and time. “What do you want to talk about, Franca? The weather? You got a question, ask me. I don’t have time for games.”
“Fine. I want to know where the next fight is. I also want to know if you’re involved with the cartel.”
Keeping my cool, I reach into my pocket and retrieve a stick of bubble gum. Without hurry, I unwrap it and place it into my mouth. “I can’t help you, sorry.”
She doesn’t have anything solid on me. If she did, this conversation would be going a different way.
“Okay, have it your way then.”
Blowing a bubble, I pop it loudly. “We done?”
She nods, slipping on her shades. “For now.”
I don’t wait for her to change her mind and get into my truck. I take off, waiting for her to follow me. She doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean she won’t sometime soon.
This has always been complicated, but with so many game players wanting a piece of the pie, it changes everything.
I drive to the address Jaws sent me to and park my truck. When a black van with tinted windows turns down the derelict street I’m standing on, I know my ride has arrived. Jaws wanted to meet here because it’s in the middle of nowhere, setting the stage for what faces me. He wants no witnesses. He wants me to disappear.
The van pulls up by the curb, and the door slides open. A man in a skull mask greets me. If this is supposed to scare me, I’m not impressed.
“Halloween is over, dude,” I say, pushing past him and stepping into the back. He doesn’t reply and slams the door shut. I take a seat, insulted Jaws only sent three men. But he knows I won’t fight.
The driver and passenger are wearing similar masks. Everyone was invited to this party but me, it seems.
Buckling my seat belt, I look at the driver, hinting any time he wants to step on it would be good. “Safety first.”
He seems thrown off by my composure. No doubt they expected me to put up some sort of fight. But honestly, a small part of me welcomes the silence. Slouching back in my seat, I cross my ankles and fold my hands over my stomach. The driver finally gets the hint and takes off into the night.
My thoughts instantly drift to Tiger and how I left her. I told Venus to untie her twenty minutes after I left. She didn’t need to ask why. The grave look on my face said it all. Leaving Tiger tied up was the last thing I wanted to do, but I already buried one person in an unmarked grave, I wouldn’t do it again.
“You don’t look so tough,” Skull Boy says, sitting across from me.
I stare straight ahead, refusing to entertain this dickhead.
“I thought you’d be…bigger.”
“That’s what she said,” I counter with an uninterested yawn. I don’t know why he feels the need to make conversation. If I’m going to die, I’d like the last few moments of my life to be spent in silence. He thankfully gets the hint and closes his stupid fucking mouth.
I’m not carrying, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t come prepared. Sometimes, the smallest things pack the biggest punch.
I have no idea where we’re going. Jaws was in Mexico apparently, so I’m assuming we have a long journey ahead. I inhale slowly, feeling surprisingly relaxed. That is short-lived, however.
It happens so quickly, and my first response is to laugh. Skull Boy is sitting smugly one second, and the next, he is propelled through the air like a crash test dummy before slamming into the front seats with a thud. Squealing brakes and the strong smell of gas reveal that we’ve been hit, and hit hard.
The van comes to a screeching stop with the sound of the horn blaring. Just as I’m about to unsnap the seat belt that just saved my life, the door slides open and I see two men donning face masks that look all too familiar, and that’s because they’re the same bandanas I wear when I fight.
I don’t need
an invitation.
Unbuckling my belt, I dive outside and follow the masked men toward their idling van. Once inside, the driver doesn’t hesitate and speeds off, leaving the carnage behind. One of the men rips off the mask, and I shake my head, wondering what the hell is going on.
“Colmillo,” Jesús says with a grin.
“’Sup,” I reply with a nod, attempting to conceal my confusion.
“José was curious to why you canceled tonight, so we followed you. Where you going?” I had to text José, informing him something came up and I couldn’t attend the gala. But the deal was done. We were square.
I was hoping he’d believe the lie.
“Church,” I quip, folding my arms across my chest. It didn’t work the first time around. Maybe I’ll have better luck the second.
Jesús smirks before reaching over his shoulder and producing a suit bag. “Well, lucky for you I brought a suit then.”
It seems José wants me to finish the job because all felons are the same—they may be shady ass motherfuckers, but their word means something. And José doesn’t want me backing out in case I come back down the track asking him to pay up.
But I can’t, and he can’t know the reason that is.
“Tell José we’re good. I have somewhere to be.”
Jesús shakes his head. “Sorry, but if we don’t take you to the gala, then you have to go see José.”
Fuck, if Jaws doesn’t hear from his men, he will soon figure out something went wrong. And I hate to think of what he’ll do to Jordy. He is running out of patience as I can only piss him off so much. And if I don’t go to the gala, José will make me bleed until I tell him what’s going on.
He was once Jaws’s friend. Even though they are no longer acquaintances, there is some understanding between them.
“Turn the van back around,” I order as this is the only thing I can do where everyone wins.
Jesús arches a brow, wondering why I would ask that. But when I remain straight-faced, he orders the driver to do what I’ve asked. He pulls up by the crumpled van that has a flat tire and smoke rising from the hood thanks to the pole it was rammed into.
They hit them from behind and hit them fucking hard. I hope at least one of them is alive. Opening the door, I poke my head into the mangled van, and my hopes of finding anyone alive dwindles as I find the driver wearing the horn as his face and the passenger cut in half by the windshield.