by Monica James
I try to look over my shoulder, but my angle doesn’t allow me to turn too far. But I don’t need sight. All I need to do is feel.
Bull sluggishly removes my thong without a word. My racing heart is amplified in the silence. I wait for him to do something, but the anticipation is always half the fun.
The mattress dips beside me, allowing me to gauge where Bull is. With two fingers, he unhurriedly caresses them down my spine. “Did you mean it?” he asks hoarsely.
“Mean what?” My skin breaks out into goose bumps. His touch always feels so good.
“When we were in here last…you said—”
His sudden pause alerts me to what he is referring to.
The last time I was tied to his bed, I was going to tell him I loved him because I do. Goddamn, how I do. But he stopped me. He didn’t want me to say it in light of our situation at the time. He wanted to make sure I meant it and wasn’t only saying it because I feared I would never see him again.
Inhaling and exhaling slowly, I bite my lip, afraid. Where is the big, brave girl now?
Maybe the fear of losing him was the reason I didn’t clam up, just as I am now. I have no doubt of my feelings for Bull, but saying them aloud, to him…my heart almost bursts from my chest. What if he tells me he doesn’t feel the same way?
“It doesn’t matter,” he says, breaking the silence.
But it does.
When his fingers come to a stop at the top of my ass, he cups my right cheek in his large hand.
“Bull—” I’m about to tell him that I meant it. I still mean it, but all words tumble in a winded oof when he spanks me.
My body shifts up the bed from the force because he hit me hard. Not that I expected anything less. The blanket beneath me chafes my nipples, and I whimper in pleasure and pain.
“I—” Again, he doesn’t allow me to speak when he slaps the other cheek. Harder this time. The sting is felt all the way in my ripe center. I open my legs, needing some kind of relief, but Bull only spanks me harder.
My flesh burns with an invisible handprint I can still feel. “Oh, god,” I whimper, shuddering when Bull delivers another smack to my raw ass.
“Enough?” he asks, anger lacing his tone. I wonder why he’s mad, but then I realize I didn’t answer his question. He must believe my feelings for him were never real.
“No, I will never have enough,” I reply. Raising my hips, I dare him to do his best. The comment is a double-edged sword, directed at our situation as well.
I brace for impact, but what I get is something different. My bad for daring him and thinking I could win.
Bull slides two fingers down the pleat of my ass. I try to dodge his advances, but he grips my hip, holding me still. “Has anyone touched you here?”
My cheeks instantly redden.
“I asked you a question,” he says, coming to a stop at my puckered entrance.
This is going to be a lot easier if I submit—in every sense of the word. “No,” I reply softly.
He hums low.
“That pleases me more than it should,” he confesses. I instantly squeeze my muscles when he presses against my tightness.
It doesn’t deter Bull, though.
He reaches over my shoulder and places two of his fingers inside my mouth, coaxing me to suck. And I do. I tongue over his fingers, loving the way he tastes and feels. I love everything there is about him. So why can’t I tell him that?
Once his fingers are lubricated enough, he removes them from my mouth and places them against my back entrance. “Do you want to see what a depraved animal I really am?”
Instead of cowering and begging him to stop, I nod shakily.
I await a sharp intrusion, but I don’t get one. I get amazement instead. “You’re fearless, Tiger.”
“Hardly,” I counter softly.
But Bull perseveres. “You are. You don’t back down. Ever. From the first time I met you, I knew you could hold your own. But I never expected you to be…this.”
His pause leaves me breathless. “This what?”
He gently removes his fingers before running his hand over my ass cheek. He slaps it again, giving me the pain I need. “This fucking perfect,” he confesses, startling me.
“I’m far from perfect,” I admit, whimpering at the sting radiating throughout my body.
“Well…you are to me.” Before I have a chance to reply, he places his hands on my hips, encouraging me onto all fours. Even with my hands bound, I’m able to position myself how he wants me.
He comes up behind me, spreads my thighs, and lowers his mouth to my sex.
I tug at the cuffs, shuddering in absolute pleasure. He eats me out slowly, licking, sucking, biting. I rock backward, needing more, wanting more. And more I get.
Bull circles his tongue deep within me, sucking over my clit with just the right pressure. The coarseness of his stubble adds to the heightened sensation, and when he sweeps his tongue upward, circling over my back entrance, I’m certain I will come right then and there.
At first, this feels so taboo, but that soon fades and gives way to this unadulterated pleasure. I didn’t know this could feel so good, but when he moves his mouth up and down, and side to side, feasting on my flesh, I am hungry for it all.
He is everywhere, savoring the moment while I cry out in need.
“Like it?” he asks, his hot breath setting me ablaze.
“Yes,” I confess, bowing my back and opening myself up further to him.
As he sucks my clit, he sluggishly works the tip of his thumb into my ass. My eyes bulge at the intrusion, but Bull doesn’t force his way in. He slowly circles his thumb while paying attention to my needy sex.
“So fucking tight,” he says with sensuality. I almost come from his words combined with what he’s doing to my body.
He works his thumb in a little deeper, and I feel so full, so content with having him own and possess me this way. I can’t stand it. I need to come. I buck onto his face, desperate for a release, but Bull holds me still, torturing me in the best possible way.
He destroys my body with his mouth, his touch, and I happily surrender. The familiar feeling coils its way upward, and just as I’m about to come, Bull pulls away.
Grunting in frustration, I sag forward, my body crying out in rebellion. Before I can ask what he’s doing, he gets off the bed, only to come to rest at my side. “Give me your mouth, baby,” he commands, turning my chin toward him.
I do as he asks, and when he slips his cock into my mouth, another hunger hits me. I forget about my pleasure and focus on his because this is fucking hot. He did warn me, and I did ask to see his depravity. So I take him deep and return the favor he just bestowed on me.
With my hands cuffed, I can’t move, so I angle my head as best as I can. He gently thrusts his hips forward, hitting the back of my throat. I refuse to gag and take him deeper.
“Holy fuck,” he grunts, brushing the hair from my cheeks and fisting it in one hand. He uses my hair as reins, controlling the speed and depth of his strokes, but he never forces me.
Hollowing my cheeks, I suck him hard, loving the way he shudders in my mouth. Being this way with Bull is inexplicable because this is about trust, about mutual gratification, and when I think about when we first met, I realize how far we’ve truly come.
Bull’s generous size makes it impossible for me to take all of him, but tears leak from my eyes as I angle my head to take as much as I can.
“Tiger,” he hisses, drawing his hips back, but I only suck him harder.
When I use a little teeth, Bull almost rockets off the bed. “Again,” he hoarsely orders.
I do as he asks, incorporating my teeth with my mouth and tongue. Being cuffed while going down on the man I love is kinky and oh, so hot. My needy sex clenches as his pleasure almost makes me come.
His body clenches, and I know he’s close. Just as I’m about to take him deeper, he gently grips my chin, coaxing me to let him go. Meeting his eyes, I silent
ly ask why he made me stop. His response has me rubbing my thighs together.
“When I come…it’s not going to be in your mouth.”
I expect him to take me from behind, but when he reaches into the bedside dresser for the key to the cuffs, I gasp. He unlocks them and trails kisses down my neck and upper back as I sag forward in relief.
“On your back,” he commands, shocking me further.
Missionary may sound boring to most, but not to me. This is so intimate, so perfect.
Doing as he asked, I look up at him, suddenly nervous. He lowers his body to mine, then reaches for my arms and places them above my head. With my heart in my throat, I get lost in those mismatched eyes, wanting to remain lost forever.
But I can’t. Forever came with a price, one I will pay come morning.
Bull takes my mouth, kissing me with no apology as he sinks inside me. Flesh on flesh is what I need, and I open my legs wider, wanting more. He begins moving gradually, threading his fingers through mine.
Our kisses never end, only intensify as he buries himself deeper. Arching my back, I take him all, but it’s still not enough. I will never have my fill of Bull because no matter how much he gives, I’ll want more.
Our bodies move in unison because being entwined this way feels like the missing piece has returned. I didn’t even realize it was missing until I met Bull. But those moments before I met him feel half-lived. From the moment we met, the world has felt brighter, and flavors have tasted sweeter.
My heart begins to hammer, and it has nothing to do with Bull owning my body like only he knows how. He possesses me, both body and soul, and my fear, the insecurities begin to ebb away. I want him to know that he is loved because I don’t think anyone has told him his worth.
I want him to know he means everything to me. He needs to know before it’s too late, and that love will turn to hate.
Our lovemaking is unhurried for once, our slick bodies taking and giving in the same breath. He pulls back from our kisses, biting over my chin.
He moves inside me fervently, the low growls slipping past his lips stoking my fire. Hooking my leg around his waist, I open myself up to him, deepening the pleasure for us both. He begins to pick up the pace, sinking in and pulling out, allowing me to feel every hot inch of him.
I will never tire of him, of this feeling of having an unconditional connection to another human. I once said I understood why Bull did what he did to his brother’s killers, but I really didn’t—until now. If anyone hurt him, did to him what was done to Damian, I too would be hell-bent on revenge.
“Am I hurting you?”
I don’t understand why Bull is asking me this until his finger comes away wet with my tears. He slips it into his mouth, savoring my salty sadness.
“No,” I reply, shaking my head.
“Then why are you crying?” he asks, continuing to thrust into me.
“Because”—I arch my head backward as he hits me so deep, I gasp—“I…I meant it.”
Bull reaches between us and circles over my clit. “Meant what, Tiger? I want to hear it.”
He wants to hear me say it, and that’s okay because I want to.
His strokes become frenzied, and our lovemaking turns into something more profound, something that seals our fate forever.
“I…I love you,” I pant, squeezing my eyes shut as he deliciously brutalizes my body, my mind, my soul. “I am so lost to this feeling, and I never want it to end. I love you…Cody Bishop. No matter what name you go by, I love the man behind each one.”
Bull continues to own me, not saying a word, and that’s okay. I don’t need him to say it back. I lose myself to the rhythm and the liberty of finally being free. When Bull leans down and suckles over my throat, fucking me with intensity and passion, my body seizes, and I give in.
I come so hard; not solely because of what he’s doing to my body, but also because beneath his passion, I can feel it…He loves me too.
My orgasm is so fierce, tears spring to the surface. But I don’t fight it. This is fucking beautiful.
Bull thrusts once, twice, before pulling back, but I don’t let him. Locking my legs around his waist, I grip his cheeks and yank his face down to me. I kiss him fiercely, wanting him to finish inside me.
“Tiger—” He tries to fight me, but I won’t let him.
“I want you…all of you.”
He groans, and with three quick thrusts of the hips, he growls long and hard, spilling his seed inside me. His body vibrates, and for the first time in his entire life, I think he lets his guard down and just feels.
We’re just Lily and Cody—two lost souls who found something beautiful in utter destruction.
With one last shudder, he collapses on top of me, breathing heavily. We’re both covered in sweat, our hearts beating in concert with each other. I wrap my arms around his back, pressing us closer, but it’ll never be close enough.
He plants lazy kisses down my neck, inhaling my scent with a low hum.
The silence isn’t uncomfortable, and I don’t regret a single thing.
“Tiger—” he sleepily says, turning onto his side and taking me with him so we’re pressed nose to nose. “I don’t understand what this is.” He takes my hand and places it on his chest over his racing heart. “But I don’t want it to stop.”
“I don’t either,” I whisper, running my fingernails over his inked flesh.
His eyes slip shut, and it isn’t long until his steady breathing indicates he’s asleep.
I watch him sleep for minutes, hours, I don’t know. It’s cathartic because I’ve never seen him at peace before. But knowing that peace will soon be shattered kills me. Holding back my tears, I whisper, “Forgive me for what I’m about to do.”
Bull has been the…hero in this story. And when it comes down to the wire, he’ll sacrifice himself for my happiness. It’s time I saved him, regardless of the fact he will hate me for it.
But I know he will never forgive me because he’s finally given me his heart…only for me to rip it out.
Bull
I wake to utter silence, which hasn’t happened in a very long time. I also slept without waking. Again, another first. When I open my eyes, the daylight peeking in through the curtains hints that I slept through the night.
The reason for the quietness sleeps beside me. But when I reach out, I realize I’m alone.
Jolting upright, I rub the sleep from my eyes and search the room. The bathroom door is open so I can see Tiger is definitely not in there. Throwing back the covers, I slip into my boxers and jeans. I don’t bother with a shirt or shoes because I’m suddenly overcome with a sense of foreboding.
There is no note, which is not like Tiger. That means something is wrong.
It’s fucking freezing out, and I skid along the snow that has collected along the walkway as I sprint to the office. I almost rip the door from its hinges as I open it. What I see turns my blood cold.
“Venus.” I run over to her because she’s tied to a chair and can’t move.
Her chin touches her chest, and blood coats her white shirt, thanks to the note stapled to her chest. Her moans indicate she’s alive, but when I gently lift her face, I see she’s lucky to still be breathing.
Her head lolls to the side as I remove the gag from around her mouth. “Who did this to you?” I cry, angered someone would inflict this sort of harm on someone who wouldn’t hurt a soul.
When she hears my voice, she seems to focus, and her eyes fill with tears. “Bull,” she croaks. “She went, went with a man.”
She doesn’t need to elaborate who. I fucking know.
Looking at the note on her chest, I see an address written in what I’m presuming is Venus’s blood. This is Jaws’s calling card. He knows what I did, and now, he has Tiger.
“I’ll call the cops,” I say, but she shakes her head.
“No cops. Police means questions, and I can’t do that to you.”
I’m beyond moved she’s thinking ab
out me when she is the one battered and bleeding. “There is a number behind my desk. Call it.”
I sprint behind the counter and call the number written on the pink piece of paper taped to her computer. A man answers, and I quickly give him the rundown. He doesn’t ask questions and hangs up after he tells me he’ll be here in fifteen.
As gently as I can, I untie Venus, helping her toward the sofa. She collapses onto it with a wheeze. This is my fault. All of it is.
“Go,” she orders, clutching her side and gesturing with her head toward the door.
I don’t want to leave her, but the thought of Tiger being alone with Jaws has me pecking her on the cheek. “Thank you, Venus. For everything.” And I mean it.
She gave me a chance when not many people would have, and honestly, she didn’t have to. I’ll never forget it.
“I promise, he’ll pay for what he’s done.”
She nods with a weak smile. “Go get ’em, Tiger.” Little does she know I intend to do just that.
Running out of the office, I race to my room and throw on a shirt and my boots. I look at my holster, but I can’t go armed. It doesn’t matter anyway. The rules are simple—trade me for Tiger. Jaws doesn’t want to hurt her. He would have killed Jordy already if he did.
This is about being alpha. This is about revenge.
Snatching the truck keys from the dresser, I race out the door and punch the address into my phone’s GPS. It’s a building about two hours from here. I intend to get there in forty-five minutes. The truck roars to life, and I tear out the parking lot, hell-bent on getting back what’s mine.
Thinking back to last night, to what Tiger confessed and how it made me feel…if anything happens to her, I will never forgive myself. Rubbing over my chest, I can’t breathe as my heart constricts. Opening the window, the fresh air helps, but my body is a live wire, and I can’t stop this…panic that’s robbing me of air.
“Please be all right,” I say aloud, clenching the wheel and stepping on the gas.