by Monica James
“With Stevie and you gone, the drugs you deal, they’re no more. The people you hurt, they’re safe. I know there is always someone waiting in the shadows to take over, but better the devil you know.”
“You won, kid,” Jaws says pathetically. I almost feel sorry for him—almost. “But do you really think you can live with this on your conscience? Each time you see my sister, it’ll be a reminder of all that you’ve done. You might think you’re free of me, but I will be with you forever.
“You think you’re turning over a new leaf? You’re not because with each life you take, you lose a piece of who you are. Believe me, I know.”
Shaking my head, I stare him in the eyes. “That’s where you’re wrong. I never knew who I was…until now. I never really knew my true worth, but now I can see that I’m not a monster. I thought I was. But I’m loyal, strong, and I’m capable of love. And I’m worthy of being loved.”
I never understood why Tiger felt the way she does about me, but now I’m beginning to see that the monsters were merely inside my head. It’s time I let them go. It’s time for me to be free.
“You’re going to tell me who your lawyer is. Your banker. Your motherfucking tailor because you’re going to leave everything to Tiger. That money is blood money, but as I see it, all those lives lost would have been for nothing if it goes to anyone else.”
“All the information is in my phone. Take it.” If he believes being cooperative now is going to save him, he is deluded. “Take whatever you want. Just call me an ambulance, and we never have to see each other again.”
“It doesn’t work that way,” I reply, coming to a stand.
“You won!” he screams, spittle coating his chin. “I’m a motherfucking quadriplegic! What more do you want? I may as well be dead.”
Tapping my chin with the blade, I pretend to think over his question. “May as well isn’t good enough.”
I am done talking.
Gripping the back of his collar, I drag him across the floor toward the wall. I slam his back against it, pressing my boot into his chest to stop him from flopping forward. He is utterly pathetic and demeaning him in this way is payback for what he did to Damian.
“That night, fourteen years ago, you made a decision that kickstarted this. Your parting words to me were, ‘This is on you, kid.’ And I believed it. But this wasn’t my fault. It was yours. I see that now. So this is poetic justice at its best.”
Leaning forward, I place the blade across Jaws’s throat. The sight of his pulse throbbing frantically has me grinning. He’s scared. Good. He’ll live his last few moments on this earth afraid and at the mercy of another.
“This is on you, asshole. It always has been.”
His eyes widen as I press the blade into his flesh. Finally, this ends now.
This is for you, brother.
But it seems we’re not done—yet.
“Cody, drop it.”
No, motherfucking no.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I curse the universe. I was so fucking close to ending this. But behind me stands Franca Brown—the only person who has the power to stop this.
“I said drop it!” she yells, hinting she’s not playing.
I grip the handle, adrenaline coursing through me. Dropping this knife means Jaws lives, and I cannot do that. But if I don’t, my ass will be thrown back in jail, and this time, it’ll be for life.
Jaws sighs in relief. The action infuriates me. “Please help me! He attacked me. He’s mad!”
Seeing him play the victim is as pathetic as it sounds. Franca is smart. She won’t buy into it.
“I will tell you everything. Everything,” I repeat, my back still turned to her. “But let me end this piece of shit. After that, you can do whatever you want to me.”
I try to reason with her. But I know better.
“You know I can’t let you do that.”
“Fuck!” I scream, tipping my face to the heavens because this has suddenly turned to hell. “How’d you know I was here?”
“We can discuss the details later. Now, I need you to drop that knife.”
Her demand has a feral snarl slipping free. “Do you know who this son of a bitch is? If you knew what he did, you would let me end him. I’m doing the world a favor. Trust me.”
“I know who he is,” she counters, shocking me. “I know everything. I’ve had a tracking device on his car. That’s why I knew you were here.”
Time stands still as I slowly turn over my shoulder to look at Franca. She is just feet away; gun raised and pointed my way.
“How?” It’s the only thing I need to know.
She licks her lips. “Your girlfriend made a deal.”
Even though I’ve heard her loud and clear, I don’t understand what this means. “What deal?”
I can feel Jaws swallow under my knife. It appears he too has been caught off guard.
“She contacted me with information. I know about the drugs, the fighting ring, the money laundering. I know everything. We made a deal that she’d give up her brother to spare you. But if you kill this asshole, the deal is void.”
“What?”
Franca nods. “She’s been working with me this entire time. She never ratted you out. It was a part of the plan. It just took me a while to get the proper paperwork in order, which is my fault. She was wearing a wire, so I’ve heard it all. I know what this asshole did.”
My brain can’t catch up fast enough. But what I do know is that if Tiger has been working with Franca, she never betrayed me. She wanted to tell me something back at the warehouse. I now know what that was. She never snitched on me…she made a deal to save me.
This was her middle ground. This was her way to save me and Jordy. This was her way so she didn’t have to choose. Well, she did choose—she chose us over Jaws, and I can’t even begin to process how that makes me feel.
My heart, the deadened mass begins to beat strongly once again.
She went to the cops because that was the best way. It wasn’t the way I could choose, but she could.
“She was to call Christopher, having him believe she was trading Jordan for you. When he was safe, then we would implement the plan to bring him in. But you know how long the courts take. I had to do this aboveboard; otherwise, it wouldn’t stick in court.
“Stevie showing up caught us by surprise, but we know what Christopher did. None of this is on you, Bull.”
“If you heard that, then you know what I’ve done,” I reply, wishing it was clear cut.
“Yes, I know. But I can make all of that go away. The information you have can be traded for your freedom. But that only works if he’s alive.” Franca’s gaze swings to Jaws. “I know you want your revenge, but does that mean more to you than your freedom?”
Sighing, I take a minute to absorb all she’s revealed.
Tiger was smart. I should have known she was the one to save me. Franca has enough evidence to put Jaws away. Jordy is safe, and as for me, well, Tiger has ensured I don’t go back inside. This is the ideal situation where we all win.
So why do I feel cheated? Why do I feel like Jaws has once again gotten away with murder?
“She doesn’t want you to live with another death on your hands, Bull. Do the right thing. This can all end now. We do this the right way. No more violence. No more bloodshed. Let the law protect you. It failed you once. I won’t let it happen again.”
That’s one of the many things I love about Tiger. She always sees the good in people. Even though she wants Jaws dead, it’ll kill her knowing she played a part in his death. She’d rather he be in jail where he belongs.
But that’s the difference between us.
I’d rather he was dead.
“You’re a good cop,” I say, meaning every single word. “You’re a pain in the ass, but you sure as shit are one of the good guys.”
“Bull, don’t you do it,” she warns, finger on the trigger. She knows what this speech means. “Don’t throw your life away for this
asshole!”
She’s right. But that doesn’t make a lick of difference. If Jaws lives, I may as well be dead. This way, at least I go down with my freedom finally in hand.
I have mere seconds, and I don’t waste a single one. “Tell her, tell her that I love her and that I’m sorry,” I say, before turning around and meeting Jaws’s wide eyes. He actually believed he was going to live, so killing him will be all the sweeter.
“This is for Damian, you motherfucking asshole. And this is for me.”
He opens his mouth, but no words will ever spill from him again because I slash the blade across his neck in one slick motion, slitting his throat. Blood coats my face and body as I watch him bleed out before me, gurgling as he chokes on his blood.
As he did to Damian, I spit on him and snarl, “That’s for Venus. And for all the unnamed victims whose lives you destroyed.”
Franca’s screams are incoherent because all I can focus on is Jaws’s twitching, gasping in his last breaths of air before finally, he merely stops. The big bad is finally dead, and my vengeance is now complete. I feel…calmer. But truth be told, I want to resuscitate him, only to kill him once more.
Dropping the knife, I raise my bloody hands in surrender and turn around. Jaws slumps forward with a squelch. Franca’s gun is still trained on me. I’m surprised she didn’t shoot.
“Why, Bull?” she exclaims, shaking her head angrily. “I gotta call this in. There are bodies everywhere!”
“I know,” I reply calmly. “You do what you gotta do. There is a body buried in a shallow grave. His name was Paul Garrison. Make sure he gets a proper burial. Please.”
She nods as she regretfully reaches for her cuffs.
I don’t move as she walks cautiously toward me. But she has nothing to worry about. I got what I wanted. Just as she snaps a cuff around my wrist, I see a sight which quiets the noise and highlights that only now do I have everything I want.
“Bull?”
Franca turns over her shoulder, cursing when she sees Tiger. “I told you to wait in the car. It’s not safe.”
But Tiger doesn’t obey anyone. She holds the world in her palms.
Her attention drifts to Jaws. “Oh, god,” she whimpers, placing a trembling hand over her mouth.
I wish I could say sorry, but I can’t because I’m not. I happily took away her brother’s life, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. She knows what this means. The deal is off. I go to prison for a very long time.
But this is my sacrifice for her. I have nothing to offer her. Now, she can live comfortably and live the life she deserves. Jaws’s riches are now hers.
“Make sure Lotus and Venus are okay?” I say, allowing Franca to cuff my hands behind my back. She’s careful not to injure my broken one, but I can barely feel pain anymore. “This club is surely no more, which means Lotus is A game now. Tell her thank you.”
Tiger looks to be in shock as tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. Franca begins to read me my rights while I never take my eyes off Tiger—my beautiful, savage Tiger. This has ended the way it was always destined.
“I’m sorry for everything. But for what it’s worth…I love—” My words die a wheezed death because the gunshot that rings out deafens me to anything but the smoking gun Tiger holds.
Even though I witnessed it with my own two eyes, I don’t believe it. But when Franca tumbles to the floor with a pained cry, there is no denying that Tiger fucking shot her with the gun I gave her.
“Tiger, what the fuck?” I yell, my confusion mixed with rage.
The color drains from her face as she examines what she just did. Franca places a hand over the bullet wound in her leg.
“Tiger!” I scream, jolting her attention my way.
“You s-said to shoot them in the leg to slow them down,” she says, her fingers wrapped tightly around the gun. “And I wanted to slow her down.”
She looks to be going into shock.
“But why? Why would you do that?” I beseech her to explain what the fuck is going on. And when she does, I don’t know whether to fight her or kiss her.
“Because you can’t go to jail with your record. You’ll be locked up forever. Franca needs someone to take the fall. Let it be me. I’m sorry, Franca.” She gives Franca an apologetic smile. “But I can’t let you do this.”
For once in my goddamned existence, I am utterly speechless.
Franca is tough as balls and pulls herself into a sitting position, hands pressed over her leg to stop the bleeding. She looks back and forth between us, shaking her head. “So, you’re going to kill me then?”
Tiger doesn’t waver when she replies, “Yes. If you let Bull go to jail, then I will.”
Oh my fucking god. My heart, it beats for no one but her.
“How am I supposed to explain this, Bull?” Franca asks as if I hold some magical solution. And I suddenly realize I do.
“You need a witness to bring down Stevie’s and Jaws’s empires, right?” I know what this means for José. But I won’t rat him out. The other players involved, however; I owe them nothing.
She nods.
“Well, I will tell you everything. I did play both sides, remember? It seems being a snitch does have its benefits after all. I know everything from drug distributors to every player involved with the fighting syndicate.
“You call this in, you’ll be a fucking legend for years to come. This will be the case that makes your career. Fuck being a PO. You’ll be fucking chief of police in six months’ time.”
We all have a price. I don’t care if you’re Mother fucking Teresa. And this is Franca’s. She’s busted her ass, but in this city riddled with crime, unless you break something big, you’re just another cop.
“And how am I supposed to explain all the bodies?”
Shrugging, I smile. “The dead don’t talk. It’s only us who do.”
“You want me to convince my superiors that you, what? Were blackmailed into doing what you did?”
I mull over her question and nod. “Yes.” Essentially, I was. The gray matter is irrelevant.
“And how am I supposed to explain the almost beheading of that asshole?”
“He kidnapped my son. It was an act of self-defense,” Tiger says quickly, shouldering the blame.
“Holy shit,” Franca says with a disbelieving laugh.
“I really am sorry for shooting you.” Tiger lowers the gun and sheepishly kicks it away.
“So whatcha say, Franca? We got a deal?” There is no way this will work. But when she doesn’t tell me to go to hell, I realize this just might stick.
“I can’t promise you won’t do time…but I’ll try my best. You follow my lead and don’t open your smart mouth,” she orders.
And just like that…a tragedy has turned into a tale of hope and second chances.
Tiger looks at me, appearing just as stunned as I am. I can’t believe this actually worked.
She runs over to me and throws her arms around my neck. I’m cuffed, so I allow her to hug me as I nuzzle into her. I am submerged with cherry blossoms and…love.
“I’m sorry,” she cries, holding on tighter. “I never ratted you—”
“I know. Franca told me,” I interrupt. But she wants to explain.
“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want another death on your hands. Even though Christopher deserves to pay for everything he’s done, I couldn’t live with myself knowing his death—”
She pauses, licking her lips.
“I brokered a deal with Franca to save your life because you…that’s all you’ve done for me. Saved me, time and time again. I know I went behind your back, but I knew you’d want to be the hero.”
I scoff. A hero? That’s something I’m not.
But Tiger shakes her head. “No matter what you think, you’re my hero. You always have been a hero in your own special way.”
She continues to amaze me time and time again. “I can’t believe you shot Franca.”
Tiger bur
ies herself closer, but it’ll never be close enough. “I would do anything for you.”
“I know. And I you.”
She gently pulls away so she can look into my eyes. “I’m sorry for breaking your hand.”
“I’m sorry for breaking you time and time again,” I reply, which has her casting her gaze downward. “I didn’t mean what I said to you at the warehouse. I just knew I had to push you away because—”
“It’s okay.” But it’s not. I can sense the doubt lingering beneath the surface.
Rubbing my nose against hers, I coax her to meet my eyes again. “It’s not okay. I hurt you. All I’ve done is hurt you. I should have pushed you away, but I literally would rather cut off my hands than do that, and I realize the reason for that is because I…”
I suddenly get choked up because I haven’t told anyone this since Damian. But telling Tiger this doesn’t lessen my feelings for Damian—it strengthens them.
“Is because I…I fucking love you.”
Tiger’s lips part. I can’t read the expression on her face. Have I fucked up?
“Tiger?” I question, suddenly feeling like a chump.
She blinks quickly, fresh tears sticking to her lashes as she shatters my world before piecing it back together again. “I fucking love you, too.”
And just like that…I am whole for the first time in fourteen years.
She slams her lips to mine, kissing me slowly because we have forever, and forever has never felt this damn good.
Bull
Six Months Later
“And that’s about all of it.”
I pluck at the blades of freshly grown grass because winter has made way for summer. The stone in Damian’s ring catches the sunlight, and I realize it’s the little things I’ve come to appreciate and that’s because I didn’t think I’d be alive to witness such trivial things, but I am.
They say everything happens for a reason, and although I will never be okay with Damian dying, I realize some things in this world happen because they just do. It doesn’t lessen the pain, nor does it help you accept it, but to honor that person, and their memory, you have to live your life for them.