It was funny how quickly Spencer and Kyle were eating out of Makenna’s hand, practically hanging on her every word. Spencer asked to see a sample of proof regarding the computer and cell phone and cursed up a storm that not only had they missed the bugs she’d found earlier but also failed to catch this.
I finished fixing a plate of spaghetti and meatballs for each of us, along with a salad, and offered to fix up plates for Spencer and Kyle, too, but they declined, citing they’d already had lunch in the hallway.
“I’ll leave you two to talk. Our replacements will be here precisely at nineteen hundred hours. I’ll introduce you to them when they arrive. Enjoy your meal.” We both watched Spencer leave as I finished setting the table.
We ate in relative silence, at first, both needing to feed our growling stomachs. I noticed Makenna perked up a bit, so I felt now was the time to make my move. “Can I start asking some questions now?”
She swallowed her food and looked up cautiously at me, lifting one eyebrow in question. “Why now?”
Shaking my head and waving my hands around, I replied, “Why not? I don’t have to be anywhere, since I’m under house arrest, and unless you have files for me to look at or things for me to do to occupy my time, I’m just sitting here twiddling my thumbs.”
She held up her hand to stop my complaints. “I do have more work to do, but I guess a question or two while we finish eating wouldn’t hurt. So what do you want to know?”
I knew certain things were hard limits for her right now, and she’d already implied Cassia as being part of that, so I asked the next question on my list. “Why did you join the Air Force?”
I guess it was a good thing I’d just swallowed the mouthful of food I’d had. Otherwise Marcus would be wearing spaghetti all over him.
Out of all the questions, why did it have to be that one? “Can I decline to answer?”
He shook his head and crossed his arms. “No. I get that you don’t want to talk about us or Cassia at the moment, so I figured this one was acceptable, unless you’re hiding something from me.” One of his eyebrows lifted as if to imply I had a secret.
Taking in an exasperated breath, I let it out slowly. I might as well fess up and get his curiosity over with. “You remember my dad’s brother, Jesse? How he’d supposedly died serving his country?”
He nodded but didn’t say anything, so I continued. “I joined the military because I wanted to see what his life was like, and, more importantly, I needed to find out who I was and what I had the potential to be.” Shrugging my shoulders and holding out my hands, not sure what else he wanted, I added, “I guess you could say I was a bit lost, didn’t know what to do with my life and needed some guidance. I figured the military could serve that purpose.”
Marcus looked puzzled. “I’m not sure I follow.”
The topic quickly made me lose my appetite, so I pushed the plate to the side, having eaten a little more than half of what was offered. “Do you remember how controlling my dad was, still is?”
“Hell yes.” The words flew from Marcus’s mouth quickly but didn’t surprise me. I knew him and my father didn’t get along well. “A few days after you left, he came over to our place, gloating over the fact. For years he’d been after me to move along and let someone ‘more worthy’ of your needs come in to take care of you,” he offered with a slight disgust in his voice as he air quoted part of the statement. “He packed up everything that was yours and left.”
Okay, now I was the one who was baffled. Why would my dad interfere? “He did what? I hadn’t even decided to join the service at that time. I’d tried to explain to him that I needed time to think and that was all. I didn’t know how long I’d be gone.” I raised one hand and ran it through my hair as I tried to process what Marcus was saying. It didn’t match what I’d asked. “I’d only asked him to pick up a few of my things, not the contents of my life.”
“What?” Now Marcus was the one looking baffled.
I felt my hand draw into a fist, and punched at the table in frustration. “That bastard! I should’ve known he’d pull some shit like that.”
Marcus jumped at my outburst, so I held up both hands to let him know I was okay. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, taking in deep, cleansing breaths as I did. When I opened my eyes, I could see him looking just as confused as me, so I continued, “I guess I need to let you know why I ran that day. We can discuss my father”—I said the word with a sour taste in my mouth—“in more detail later.”
I took a deep breath in and began. “Remember how we were supposed to meet up at the business building after our finals, where they were doing interviews for the company you now work for?”
Marcus nodded.
“I got a phone call from my mother to wish me luck on the interview and to let me know something my father had hid from me, something that would change everything I’d ever believed in.” As I looked up, I could see his brows furrow.
“Do you remember how you were accepted to Wharton School of Business in Pennsylvania but I wasn’t? How we wanted to go to the same school, and as a result, you decided to go to the university here in Orlando so we could be together? How we both wanted to get the heck out of Florida and away from our families and their controlling natures?”
He shifted forward in his seat and linked his hands together atop his knees. “Yes,” he replied warily.
I threw my hands up in the air and nodded. “Thanks to Mom’s discovery, I found out I had gotten into that school after all. She found the letter hidden in my father’s desk drawer; it had been there for four years! He’d told me he’d intercepted the rejection letter, so I wouldn’t have to read it and be crushed.”
Marcus shook his head. “I don’t understand? Why would he do that?”
“Because my father’s a controlling and manipulative bastard, that’s why. I love him because he’s my dad, but I hate how he micromanages my life and Jesse’s. He threatened to not pay for her college, but she didn’t care. She was smart enough that she was able to get a full-ride scholarship to Emory Riddle in Daytona Beach, Florida. But with me, he wanted to keep me close.”
“Okay? And how does this relate to you joining the Air Force?” Marcus questioned, looking more confounded than ever.
“That day was one of the worst in my life. For four years I’d been working toward a goal, thinking it was my own, but instead it was him pulling the strings. I was merely a puppet in his show. I didn’t know who to trust, what to think, and I realized I just needed to get away from everything to clear my mind, so I did.
“I ended up driving up to Cheryl’s place in Cincinnati. She wanted us to visit shortly after graduation, so I figured I’d go a little early. Jesse was the only one who knew where I went, and I begged her to keep quiet.”
I took in a deep breath and saw that Marcus was still captivated by my story. He motioned his hand toward me, indicating I needed to continue. “The first few days were wonderful. I could wake up when I wanted, go out and look for jobs, and just exist without the pressure of my dad telling me what my life should be like.
“But then things changed. Cheryl discovered her fiancé was cheating on her with two other women, all while he helped plan their wedding. He impregnated one of the women and all hell broke loose.”
The emotions were a bit overwhelming as I remembered what happened next, but I couldn’t—make that I wouldn’t—talk about my secret. My thoughts ran amuck as I stared at the floor. I hadn’t realized my hands were shaking until the warmth of Marcus’s hands enveloped mine.
Looking up I could see sympathy in his molten-caramel eyes. “It’s okay, love. I’m not here to judge why you joined the military so much as I just want to know why everything happened the way it did? Not knowing for the past five years has been akin to torture. Throwing myself into work has been the only thing to keep me focused.”
Trying my best attempt at a smile, I nodded and went on. “I didn’t belong with Cheryl and her mess. Things with me just conti
nued to get worse. I couldn’t come back to Orlando, at least not yet, not until I had a plan of how to deal with my father and what life had decided to serve me. That’s when while I realized I needed to severe my dad’s control and take back my life.”
I looked up through my lashes to see if Marcus was still listening attentively, before admitting, “I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore. Even prior to college, I’d expressed an interest in joining the military, but Dad wouldn’t allow it. He never told me what happened to his brother, just that he’d died.
“Remember the summer of our junior year in college when I went to Atlanta and spent three weeks with my dad’s parents while you spent time with your brother, Jackson, and his wife at the time, Gabriella?”
He nodded.
“They were the ones to tell me about my uncle. Grandpa Bradford showed me all the medals Uncle Jesse had received while in service, along with the letters of gratitude from airmen he’d saved. I could see the pride in Grandpa’s eyes as he talked about his eldest son.” I paused, wiping away a tear that had started to fall from the corner of one eye. “I wanted to know what it was like to have someone think of me with delight and, more importantly, to be able to believe in myself, finding satisfaction for what I could accomplish on my own. It was then that I realized Dad was only proud of me when he influenced my decisions. He couldn’t control my sister, but he somehow managed to control me. And I’d let him, and didn’t know how to change things.”
Marcus reached out to wipe away a few more tears. “Why didn’t you tell me this way back then?”
My response to him was automatic; I reached for his hand and held it close to my face, where I was able to enjoy his unique smell of bergamot and vanilla musk. “It was too late for me to do anything different, so I opted to finish the courses with the idea of leaving the state of Florida as soon as the opportunity arose, only fate decided to play a few different wild cards.
“Initially, I ran, needing time to think. When a few things changed, I realized I wanted to follow in my uncle’s footsteps. It was the opportunity I needed to cut the philosophical strings with my dad and find out who I was, what I was capable of, and if I could stand on my own two feet without his interference.”
Marcus shook his head in frustration. “Your father’s behavior was too extreme, I agree. He shouldn’t have tried to hold on to you so tightly, as it made you want to fight even more. I get that you’re his youngest, but what I don’t understand is why he did this, given how his father tried to push him into law.”
After shrugging my shoulders I offered, “None of my family understood why Dad had become this way. Yes, Grandfather had pushed, in hopes that Dad would follow in the family’s footsteps and become a lawyer to carry on the legacy of his legal firm, but sadly, Dad never wanted to do anything he wasn’t interested in. That’s why he fought and pushed to become a psychiatrist, like my mother, all because his brother had suffered from severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his time in the military. He wanted to be able to help others in ways his brother, Jesse, had never been.”
Taking in a sudden breath, I got angry as I remembered, “Do you know he had two job options already lined up for me in Orlando?” I held up two fingers in front of his face to drive the point home. “He didn’t ask if I wanted to work for either company, just went ahead and talked to a few friends and pulled the strings. The jobs were mine for the taking; my only choice was for which company, Prescott International or Lexington Financials.”
Sitting back in his chair, Marcus pulled his hand away from my face and thought for a moment, before finally asking, “So was your decision to run away partially due to your need for freedom?”
Nodding, I answered. “Yes.”
He looked puzzled. “Did our relationship, our love, mean nothing to you? Didn’t we agree to work as a team, Kenna, to support one another in our endeavors, and to be there for one another both in and out of the bedroom?”
Before I could answer, he slammed his hand against his knee and raised his voice. “Damn it, Makenna. We were supposed to be together. You shut me out without talking to me, didn’t even consider my feelings.”
I didn’t know where he was going with this. “I’m not sure I follow you. I had a good reason for needing time on my own. I wanted to talk to you about—” I stopped short of telling him, not wanting the argument that I knew would be coming.
Marcus looked infuriated at me, and I couldn’t understand why, since he’s the one who cheated me out of a lot of things. I should be ticked with him, not the other way around. In one respect, I want to hate him for all that he stole from me, mainly my job, but my feelings for him were still present. How am I supposed to dislike someone and love him at the same time?
Marcus reigned in his annoyance. “Did you join the Air Force before or after you lost our child? I’m guessing the service wouldn’t have accepted you if you’d been pregnant.”
A punch to the gut during a fight hurt less than the words out of his mouth. I felt all the air in my lungs escape me. It took a moment for me to regain my breath. “How . . . how did you know?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “The university’s health center called me, wondering why your phone had been disconnected. They wanted to know when you were going to drop by to pick up your prenatal vitamins.”
He ran his hand over his mouth, looking a bit disgusted. “Were you ever going to tell me? Didn’t you think I had a right as the father to at least know?”
I started to get up from the chair, when Marcus pushed me back down, holding one hand on my shoulder and pointing the other in my face. His voice boomed loud with contempt. “No. You don’t get to run off again and avoid this topic. Now answer the fucking question!”
“No. We’ve gotten off topic, so I’m not answering.” I adamantly refused.
Marcus took a deep breath in, composing himself, and as he blew out the breath, he relaxed his facial features, and then spoke with the sinfully rich, deep, manly voice he always used as a Dom. He held up the finger he’d pointed at me. “That’s your first warning, sub. You’ll answer my question, or you’ll pay the price with ten smacks to your ass.”
My immediate reaction should have been to argue and fight back, but something about the way he spoke to me brought back so many wonderful memories of good times we’d had in the past. I could feel my lady bits tingle in anticipation. I was thankful I was wearing black so he wouldn’t see how moist my panties had become. It had been five years away from him, but one shift in his voice brought me back to our playtime. Without even thinking about it, I let my head fall forward as I parted my lips and uttered, “I’ll answer, Sir, out of respect, but you are no longer my Master.”
He huffed out a breath, uttering barely audible words. “We’ll see.”
I felt my shoulders relax as I gave in to the truth. “I don’t know how much of this I can stand telling you at the moment. I’m exhausted and emotional. My family never knew, not even my sister, Jesse.”
I’d hoped for a possible reprieve, but all I got was, “Tell me what you can, and we can talk in more detail later.” At least his voice had softened and he’d sat back on the edge of his seat, but he continued his hold on my shoulder to keep me in place.
“I’d just found out that day, after my last final exam. I hadn’t been feeling good and stopped by the medical center on campus, thinking it was the stomach flu. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered I was pregnant.”
I dared look up to gauge his response, and he appeared to be cooling off, so I continued. “I knew the timing was wrong—neither of us had secured jobs yet—and with both of us having issues with our families . . .”
“You were scared.” He finished the sentence for me.
Why after all these years could he still read my mind as if it were his own? Because you two belong together. I nodded.
A few moments of silence passed before I continued. “Let’s just say that after I found out I was pregnant and prior to reaching the s
cheduled interview, several things fell apart quickly, starting with a phone call from my mom about the hidden letter. If it had been just one thing, I would’ve stayed and dealt with it, but the surprises just kept coming, enough to freak me out and send me running.”
I held out my hands to let him know I needed a moment to try and compose myself. I didn’t want him to keep pushing me. He seemed to get what I was saying and moved his head up and down in agreement. “I’d originally planned on just taking a few days to myself and then returning to talk with you. But after seeing . . . and the thing with Cheryl . . .” I couldn’t complete either sentence. “Let’s just say things went haywire, got out of hand, and then things happened and too much time passed.”
Marcus was shaking his head at my response, so I knew I had to do better. “Kenna,” he warned.
“I don’t know if it was the nervous tension of seeing Cheryl and Mark fighting, the constant worry of my life being out of control, or the stress of things between you and me, but within a week”—I couldn’t help it, the tears began to fall like raindrops, splattering down onto my legs—“I’d miscarried.”
Tissues appeared in my line of sight, and I took them. I looked up and saw his troubled expression too. “I was only five weeks along. Right when I’d finally acknowledged we needed to talk about us being a family, the joy I’d accepted was ripped from existence.”
Marcus shifted in his chair and reached out to me, but I stopped him. “Don’t. Please let me finish. You want the truth, so here it is.”
I wiped the tears away and took in a ragged breath. “I was devastated. Cheryl had kicked Mark out and drove me to the hospital in hopes it was something other than a miscarriage, but it wasn’t meant to be.
“I spent the next three weeks grieving for what I could have had. I knew we needed to talk, but I couldn’t get past my depression to do it. Every time I tried to pick up the phone to call you, let’s just say the feeling of despair worsened.” I looked into his eyes as I uttered the words, “It felt like a knife had been lodged deep into my heart and was continually being twisted. I was hurt from what I saw and distraught from all that had happened. I was grief-stricken.”
Makenna's Trust: Titan Security Series #3 Page 7