I did a mental check before I attempted to get out of bed, yep my tongue felt fuzzy, my stomach churned and my head pounded. It was a great night. I forced myself out of bed so I could use the toilet, I breathed deeply as my stomach rolled. Was I going to be sick? I just needed something to settle my stomach and head.
I routed through the wooden set of drawers in the bathroom, looking for some paracetamol when I froze. I came across my tampons and realised that I hadn’t needed them for a little while. Shit! What have I done? Could I be pregnant? I racked my brain trying to think back to when my last period was and for the life of me I couldn’t remember. I admit we were not always great at using protection and I hadn’t found time to get to the doctors to be put on the pill. Most of the time Mason would pull out, but even then, there’s a massive risk. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How could I have let this happen? I needed to know. I stripped out of Mason’s t-shirt that I was wearing and slipped on some jeans and a t-shirt, threw my hair into a pony tail, grabbed my bag and keys and ran towards my car.
“Cammie?” Ashlyn called out as I ran past. Shit, we were supposed to be having breakfast together. I couldn’t think about that now. The nearest shop was only ten minutes away and then I’d be back. I waited impatiently while Drake opened up the gate for me, I wound my window down as he waved at me to stop.
“VP know you’re heading out?” he asked.
“I won’t be long. Couldn’t find him this morning.”
“Early morning business to attend to.” I nodded my head, knowing that I shouldn’t ask any questions. I just wanted to get out of there, I felt sick at the thought that I could be pregnant, especially after all the alcohol I drank last night. Surely, if I was pregnant, the baby wouldn’t survive that. That thought alone made my stomach dip, I couldn’t lose another baby, I just couldn’t.
I quickly ran into the shop, bought a couple of pregnancy tests and headed back for the clubhouse.
“Wow, that was quick.” Drake laughed as he opened the gates for me. I smiled at him, parked my car and ran back to our room. I was hoping that Ashlyn hadn’t seen me coming back in.
I paced the small bathroom trying not to look at the pregnancy test that was laid out by the sink. What was I going to do if it was positive? I looked at the time on my phone again, it was time to look at it. I took a deep breath in and picked up the test – negative. I exhaled, relief coursing through my body and disappointment, did this mean I wanted to have a baby? These tests weren’t always accurate so I decided to take the other one just in case. Those minutes were just as much agony as the last ones. When I picked up the test, my stomach dropped and I fell to my knees in front of the toilet, throwing up the food and drinks from last night. How was it positive? One negative and one positive? What did that mean? Shit! I closed the toilet seat and pulled the flush, I rinsed my mouth out and walked out into the bedroom to see Ashlyn standing there.
“You ok?” she asked, looking concerned. I shook my head as tears began running down my face. “What’s happened?” She stalked towards me and wrapped me in her arms.
“One’s negative and one’s positive.” I sobbed.
“What?” She pushed me back so she could look at me. “You took a pregnancy test?” I nodded.
“They’re in the bathroom but they say something different on each one.” I frantically tried wiping my tears away. She rushed into the bathroom and thirty seconds later, she appeared with them both in her hands.
“Um… Cam, they are both positive.” She held them up to show me.
“What?” I took them off her. “How is that possible?” I looked at them and then dropped them onto the bedside table.
“Maybe you didn’t wait long enough.”
“Oh God,” I cried, sitting on the edge of the bed and covering my face with my hands. I’m pregnant. Shit. Fuck. What was I going to do?
“Are you ok?” Ashlyn asked as she placed her hand on my back. I shot up off the bed, shaking my head.
“No. I drank so much last night. I don’t even remember getting into bed. I’ve probably already killed my baby.” I placed my hands on my tummy and prayed that this wasn’t true. “I’d be a terrible mum, I was a terrible mum. I lost him, he was taken from me and I couldn’t keep him alive. I’d lose this one too.” I was pacing in my bedroom as tears kept falling down my face.
“You need to tell Holes.”
“No. Not if the baby hasn’t survived, I couldn’t do that to him. He will never get to feel what it’s like to lose a child. He’d never forgive me. I have to go.” I grabbed my car keys and dashed out of the room, Ashlyn calling out my name behind me. I left everything else behind; my money and phone. I tapped my fingers impatiently on top of the steering wheel as I waited for Drake to open the gates. He leant down to talk to me again and I didn’t stop, I pushed my foot on the accelerator and shot away. I looked in my rear view mirror as I heard the roar of bikes, praying that Mason didn’t see my car driving away.
I PULLED my car up outside of Heather and Blade’s house. Her car wasn’t here but maybe I’d be lucky and she would be in. I pulled down the sun visor to look at my reflection in the small mirror, my eyes were red and puffy. There was no hiding the fact that I had been crying and she would have seen right through me anyway, I couldn’t keep anything away from her.
I rushed up to the door and rung the door bell, no answer. I tried the door handle and it was locked. Shit. I’d try the clubhouse, if I could find it. Heather had explained where it was located and surprisingly it was easy to find.
I stopped by the prospect who was by the gates, I didn’t recognise him so he must have been new.
“What can I do for you, sweetness? You lost?” He smirked, the corner of his lips rising. In my rush to get out I forgot to put on my properties.
“I’m here to see Heather, I’m Cammie.”
“Does she know you’re coming?” I shook my head. “Sorry, babe. I can’t let you in.”
“Is Blade here?” He shook his head. “Riz? Itch?” He shook his head. I covered my eyes with my hands, leaning my elbows on the steering wheel, what was I going to do?
“Hold on, let me call the VP.” He walked over to his little hut and I could see his lips moving but couldn’t hear the conversation he was having. His head rose and he looked at me, smiling. “You can go on in!” he shouted as he pushed the gates open. I sighed in relief. When I rounded the corner and parked my car in the small parking area there was a guy with a shaved head leaning against the wall. I looked up to the old hotel and it didn’t look liveable, maybe the inside was better.
“Hey, Cammie.” He lifted his head and smiled at me.
“Wayne?” I asked, walking towards him.
“Buzz is the name now,” he said as he scratched his fingers over his shaved head.
“Sorry.”
“You looking for Heather?” I nodded. “She’s dropping the kids at nursery, she won’t be long. You wanna wait inside?” I shook my head. I wasn’t wearing my properties and I was a club whore for this club several months back, I didn’t want anyone thinking that was what I was there for. “If you head around the side of the building, there is a black door, that’s the entrance to Heather and Blade’s place. You can wait there.”
“Thank you.” I smiled and headed in the direction he told me. I sat on the bottom step, pulled my legs up to my chest and placed my forehead on my knees and let the tears fall. I didn’t know how I was going to do this, I’d be a wreck, always panicking that something was wrong.
“Cammie?” I looked up to see Heather standing in front of me, her smile dropped from her face when she saw the look on mine. Her wavy brown hair blew in the slight breeze and she rushed towards me. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”
“I…” I shook my head, I couldn’t say the words, not again. I placed my hand on my tummy hoping she’d get what I was saying.
“Ahhh!” she screamed happily. “You’re pregnant?” She grabbed my arm and pulled me to stand up so she could hug me
and as soon as her arms were around me, I lost it and cried. “Hey, what’s all this? You not happy about it?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Let’s go upstairs. You’ll have to excuse the mess, we’re still trying to get this place liveable.”
She unlocked the black door and we walked up a flight of stairs to where there was another door, she unlocked that one and pushed it open. We came right into the living room, it was huge and the windows carried across the whole front of the building. To the left was the kitchen, then to the right there was a small hallway that I guessed led to the bedrooms.
“Wow, Heather, this is amazing.” It was in the middle of being re-decorated, there was only fold up chairs to sit on and a kettle and mugs in the kitchen.
“It will be great once it’s done. Kade will be on hand for the club but he won’t have to stay away from us either. Now, come and sit down and talk to me.”
We sat in the fold up chairs opposite each other and Heather reached forward and grabbed my hand.
“You don’t want to have the baby?”
“I’d never get an abortion… I want the baby, I just don’t want to be pregnant and I don’t want to be responsible for keeping him or her alive. I’ve already failed at that once.” A sob rose in my throat and I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down.
“Cammie, that wasn’t your fault. That was the dickhead who let you fall down the stairs, he left you and didn’t help you. You did everything right, your baby boy was healthy.”
“I’m so scared,” I whispered.
“I was scared, do you remember? When my waters broke, you delivered my son. You were calm and collected, you saved him.” The sobs escaped, I acted calm but I was terrified that Liam wasn’t going to be moving when Heather gave birth, I was terrified that it would take me back to the time and place when I looked at my son who looked like he was sleeping, but he wasn’t breathing. He was cold and not moving. Then happiness soared through my body when Liam let out his first cry, clenching his fists. I didn’t want Heather to experience what I went through, I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy.
“You can do this, you’re strong enough. Besides you have me and Mason this time. We are here for you, always.”
Mason
I HATED SNEAKING out of the clubhouse before Cammie was awake, she looked sexy as sin sleeping with sex crazed hair and in one of my t-shirts. I wanted to crawl under the covers and wake her up in a great way, an orgasm was always the best way to start the day.
I had a surprise for her and I wanted to get it sorted before she came home. I walked into our house and was greeted by barking dogs.
“Hi, you two. Come on, out in the garden.” I tried to step around Dusty without stomping on her. They both shot out in the garden once the patio doors were open, I left the door ajar so they could come in and out as they pleased. It was a sunny morning and I enjoyed the sun on my face as a smoked the first cigarette of the day. I needed coffee too. I stepped back into the house and flicked the switch to the kettle on. While that was boiling, I put my plan into action. I moved the sofa to the back wall and placed the blow up bed in the middle of the room, I set out all the candles and the bottle of wine. This time I had it in an ice bucket as it was a warm day and I wasn’t sure when she would be getting here.
Once my coffee was ready, I started drinking it as I set my next plan in motion. I closed the kitchen door to the hallway; the dogs would have to stay in there for a little while. I started spreading a trail of rose petals from the front door to the living room door, in the room and around the blow up bed. If any of the guys caught me doing this shit I’d be a laughing stock. I clearly didn’t think this through very well as the fucking petals were sticking to my shoes.
I sat in the back garden with my coffee and cigarette number two, feeling nervous as hell. What if she hated it?
I’m at home. Get that sexy ass of yours here x
She should be here within the next ten minutes, when thirty minutes had passed and there was no sign of Cammie or a respond to my text I started to worry. I pressed my recent calls list on my phone and Cammie was at the top, I hit her name and listened to the phone ringing constantly until it went to voicemail. I tried three more times before I got fed up. I jumped to my feet and hurried the dogs inside, filling their bowls up with dog biscuits before I rushed to my bike and headed for the clubhouse.
Once my bike was parked, I marched into the clubhouse, stopping to look in the bar area for Cammie, there was no sign of her. Surely she wasn’t still asleep. I pushed the door open and frowned when she wasn’t in the bed, the shower wasn’t on. Maybe she was doing her make-up? Was she working today?
“Cam?” No answer, I nudged the bathroom door open and it was also empty. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialled her again. Still no fucking answer. I looked out of the bedroom window and couldn’t see her car in the beach carpark. As I walked towards the door to find Ashlyn, something on the bedside table caught my eye, I strolled towards it to see what it was.
“Fuck!” I swore as I dropped to the bed and hung my head as my forearms rested on my thighs, still holding onto the pregnancy test. She must be freaking out somewhere. Where the fuck was she?
“Holes?” I looked up to see Ashlyn standing in the open doorway.
“Did you know about this?”
“Yeah, I came to find her for breakfast and she was in a bit of a state.”
“Where is she?” I dropped the pregnancy stick back down and scrambled towards her.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Why did you let her leave? Why didn’t you call me?” I shouted.
“VP, calm down,” Prez said as he entered the room. I took a step back from her and ran my hands through my hair.
“Where is she, Ashlyn?” I asked again, calmer this time.
“I don’t know, I couldn’t stop her. She left her phone and purse here.”
“Fuck!” I roared as I stormed past them and out the door to my bike. I headed for the other place she may have been.
Cammie
“SUGAR?” Blade called out as he walked in through the door. We both looked up at him and the worry on his face seemed to disappear. “Ah good, you’re here. Holes is going crazy trying to find you.”
“What?” I reached into my jeans pocket for my phone and realised I didn’t have it. “Shit, I must have left my phone at the clubhouse. Is he mad?”
“He ain’t happy, sweetheart.” He leant against the doorframe and crossed his arms across his chest.
“I better get home.” I stood up and carried my mug into the kitchen and dropped it into the sink.
“He’s on the way here.”
“Oh.” I glanced at Heather and she stood up and stepped towards me.
“Everything is going to be fine. Talk to him, don’t push him away and remember I’m here for you, always. Just call me and I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around me once more and rubbed circles onto my back.
“Oh, babe, before I forget Daisy and Ryan are coming up in a couple of days to stay.”
“Sugar, its Hitch. You have to use his club name.” He sighed at her.
“He’s family.” She waved her hand like it was ok.
“Sugar,” he said in a warning tone, raising one eyebrow.
“Fine. Hitch.”
“Prez!” I gasped when I heard Mason’s tone. He wasn’t happy, not in the slightest.
“She’s in here, VP.” Blade moved to the side and I watched as Mason filled the doorway. As soon as his eyes connected with mine, his face softened.
“You ok?” he asked, shuffling into the room. I nodded and scrambled towards him, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he bent down to gather me in his arms. “I was worried about you,” he whispered which made me tighten my grip on him. “So, we’re having a baby?” I nodded. “Are you happy about it?”
“I’m scared,” I admitted. He nodded his head in understanding.
“Let�
�s get you home.” He kissed me on the side of my head and we separated. I looked around and saw that Heather and Blade had left us alone. “You going to be ok to drive? Or shall I leave my bike here?”
“I’ll be fine. I need to find Heather, I disrupted her day.”
“Come on, sweetheart.” He held my hand and we walked down the stairs, out of the door and around the corner to the clubhouse. “Where’s your jacket?”
“I forgot to put it on this morning, I’m sorry.”
We walked in through the front door and the inside was amazing, it looked just like a hotel. There was a large area in front of us, with a big room at the end, a grand staircase to the left and a dining area to the right.
“Hey there, handsome.” A dark skinned girl with jet black hair, wearing only a pair of denim shorts a small tank top and heels said as she ran her hand over his chest.
“Anna,” Heather said as she walked up to us. “Go and sort the bar out, will you?”
“Sure.” She smiled to Heather and then turned to Mason. “Come and find me later, handsome. Once you’re done with that one.”
“Anna,” Heather warned her. She looked at Heather as if to say she wasn’t doing anything wrong. “This is the VP for the Cornish Crusaders.” Her eyes lit up until Heather added, “And his Old Lady Cammie. My best friend.” Her shoulders slumped and she scuttled away.
“You ok?” Heather asked me.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I bombarded you with this.”
“Hey, you can always come to me. Promise me.” When I hesitated, she said. “Cammie, promise me.”
“I promise.” We hugged, said our goodbyes and were soon driving home.
* * *
Mason
THE LOOK on Cammie’s face when I walked into Heather and Blade’s home wasn’t a look I wanted to see again. She looked lost, upset, scared and I would do everything in my power to protect her and the baby.
Fuck, I was going to be a dad. That was some scary shit.
South Coast Brothers Part 1 Page 45