by LK Shaw
"Okay, so maybe that's a little bit of a stretch. But see? It's okay to be worried about things. Talk to me about them, though. You don't have to handle them alone."
"This is what I mean about being too perfect.” I gestured. “Most guys would think I was ridiculous. They'd blow off my concerns like they're nothing. Make me believe I'm imagining things. That I'm being silly."
Pablo reached out for my hands, holding them between us. “I don't know what kind of guys you dated in the past, but I'm not them. We all have insecurities. Mine happen to be my age and this stupid limp. The biggest thing we have to remember is to communicate with each other. To trust one another. Which is hard as shit. Especially if you've been hurt in the past. Which it sounds like you have."
"You have no idea."
"Who was it that hurt you?”
I shifted.
"His name was Jonas. I started dating him when Maisie was about eighteen months old. He wasn't the first guy I'd gone out with, but none of the others lasted more than a few dates. I was always upfront about having a daughter, as well as what I did for a living. Some acted like they were okay with it, while others immediately stopped calling. A few of them even met her, but then I think the reality of a kid really hit home and they weren't ready for that."
Looking back, I'd probably dodged a few bullets that way. But at the time all the rejections hurt.
"One day, we were at the grocery store, and I accidentally crashed into his shopping cart with mine. He struck up a conversation with me. Said hi to Maisie. He was all smiles—polite—and seemed to enjoy talking to me. He asked me for my phone number before we went our separate ways. I was pretty sure he wouldn't call, but the next day my phone rang. We talked forever and he asked me out on a date. Before long he and I were going out all the time. He brought me flowers and wrote me sweet romantic notes. Aside from that initial meeting at the store, he didn't spend time with Maisie. I wanted to make sure things would work out for longer than three or four dates before I let a guy meet her. I didn't want to confuse her.”
I paused, reflecting on those few good months we’d had before it all went to shit. Pablo squeezed my hand. “That’s perfectly understandable. I assume things went well and you introduced the two?”
Nodding, I continued. “Yes. About three months after our first date I thought we had hit the point in our relationship that I'd bring Maisie into it. And it was great for the first month or two. At least I thought it was. Until he started getting more and more impatient with her. She was two years old and testing her boundaries, which often led to her throwing a fit when she didn't get what she wanted. He was always yelling at her. Snapping at me for indulging in her tantrums. No was her favorite word. She loved saying it, but she sure didn't love hearing it. One day he got so angry when she wouldn’t listen to him telling her she couldn't do something—I can't even remember what it was now—and he hit her."
My eyes burned. There were times I could still hear her screaming.
“I kicked him the hell out of my apartment and never saw him again. Maisie wasn't the same around people after that. She withdrew from strangers. Loud noises made her cry. Thank god that stopped, but she became this new, reserved little girl. I hated Jonas for so long. For turning my daughter into the scared version of herself." I took a deep breath. “And now, here you are. My daughter is a different person with you. That terrifies me, because I don't ever want to see her that way again if things don’t work out between us.”
“He was the one you didn't think liked your kid?”
I nodded.
“I stand by my previous statement. He's a fucking idiot.”
"Thank you for that."
"You're welcome. Here's the thing. I can only make you one promise, and it's this. I will never intentionally do anything to hurt either one of you. God knows I'd never lay a hand on you or Maisie. You've met my family. Ines would murder me if I ever stepped out of line that way. Estelle, Marguerite, and Landon would be right behind her, followed by my father and brothers. Brother-in-laws too. You'd be pulling each and every one's foot out of my ass."
I choked on the image he presented. He wasn't lying either. Brother or not, Ines would never tolerate Pablo hurting me or my daughter like that. Not that the thought of him physically hurting us ever crossed my mind.
"It's kind of weird actually talking like this. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just..."
"Just what?" he encouraged after several seconds of silence.
My parents were the one topic I never discussed with anyone. Not any of the girls from SINoritas. Not even Ines. All she knew was they'd kicked me out of the house after I got pregnant.
“I'm not used to it," I said, finally. "My parents never talked to each other. Not unless they had to anyway. My mother spent all her time at the country club with her tennis instructor, who she was no doubt fucking, which is such a cliché. Meanwhile, my father spent all his time at his office, fucking his secretary. I'm pretty sure the only time they ever even saw each other was at the breakfast table every morning. They didn't even sleep in the same room."
"That must have been hard for you."
Was it? I always assumed that’s what marriage was like. “I didn't really know any better. All the country club marriages I saw were the same way. Husbands and wives leading their own lives, barely speaking unless they were at one of those fancy charity events. Even then some of the men would flaunt their mistresses. It just seemed to be how things were done."
"And you were at a lot of these charity events?" Pablo asked.
"My fair share. At least in the two years before I was no longer welcome."
"So," he said with some hesitation. "You grew up wealthy?"
I laughed bitterly. "Yep. The whole silver spoon and everything. Shocking isn't it?"
“Didn’t expect it, I'll admit."
"Yeah, it's not really something I like to talk about. Especially considering how far from it all I am now. And especially considering who my father is."
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. Your past is yours. It doesn't have any bearing on who you are today. Not in my eyes anyway. I told you that. It's not a reflection of you."
"But it is. Like you said—my past made me who I am today. I'm coming to terms with it and realizing I'm doing okay."
“I think you're doing great. If my opinion matters at all."
“You may change your opinion once you find out who my father is.”
Pablo's expression was questioning.
"Ralph Lewis."
Pablo blinked a few times and his head reared back, his expression quickly shifting from shock to anger. It nearly mirrored the look he'd worn when he arrived at my door earlier tonight.
"Your father is the Illinois Attorney General?"
I slowly nodded. "One and the same."
He didn't say anything for several minutes, but his entire body was rigid from his clenched jaw, the muscles in his cheeks dancing, to the fingers fisted at his side. “I can't believe it. I always respected him as a loving family man...holy, fucking shit. Do you mean to tell me that you're the teenage runaway daughter he's desperately been looking for these past four years? The one he's actually pleaded with, on national television, to come home or call and let them know you're okay?"
A snort escaped. "Is he still spouting that bullshit to people?"
“I think so. I mean, I haven't been paying a lot of attention lately, but it most definitely hasn't been that long since I saw him give a press conference."
"That sounds about right. Always looking for sympathy. I called my father after he gave his first one. I threatened to tell everyone the truth. He threatened to have me arrested.”
Pablo sucked in a sharp breath.
“That was the last time I spoke to my parents until Maisie's first birthday. I don't know why I called. Maybe because I thought they'd changed. That maybe they missed me. Wanted to know how their granddaughter was doing. What a joke. I shouldn't have waste
d my breath. I was still the awful daughter who could have ruined my father's public image and the family name."
"Jesus, Michele. I'm so sorry."
I waved off his sympathy. “I stopped worrying about my parents’ approval a long time ago."
Pablo moved closer. He brushed the hair off my forehead, his eyes scanning my face before settling to meet my gaze. "For what it's worth, I think you're the one who's better off without him. Any father would be proud to call you his daughter. To call Maisie his granddaughter. By not having you in his life, he's the one losing out."
Ever so slowly he leaned forward, his eyes still laser-focused on me. My eyelids fluttered closed the moment Pablo pressed his mouth to mine. A soft brush across my skin. Once. Twice. On the third pass, the kiss deepened. His lips were gentle. Cautious. Too cautious. I opened my mouth the tiniest bit, and it was all the incentive he needed. His fingers speared my hair, clasping my head in a possessive move that made me gasp. He took full advantage and plundered it with his tongue.
The taste of wine, mixed with the after-dinner mint he'd had, burst across my tastebuds. It was a heady flavor. The kiss went on and on. His free hand didn't linger in one place too long, but skated across my cheek, down my neck and shoulders. It traveled the length of my arm, then slid to my waist before finally resting on my hip. It was a comforting embrace.
Pablo didn't try to press for more than the soul-shaking kiss, which only made me yearn for him to. I shifted to my knees and pressed my body forward until we were chest to chest, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, taking the initiative to deepen the kiss further. I sensed he was holding back. Letting me lead. It only fanned the fire from the embers that had been waiting to flare back to life with just his touch.
I tilted my head to get a better angle, and I moved my leg until I was straddling his lap. Scorching heat raced through my core at his erection pressing exactly where I needed. My hips swiveled trying to generate the right amount of friction. A moan slipped from my lips to his. A kiss had never seared me like this one.
Pablo's lips were like magic. He knew just how to tease me to make me want more. And did I ever want more. At long last I slid my fingers through his beautiful hair. It was just as soft as I'd imagine. I tangled my fingers in his dark waves and held him tightly to me, pressing my body harder against his erection. I couldn't get close enough.
His strong hands clutched at my hips, guiding my movements to increase the friction between my legs. I should have been embarrassed that I was dry humping Pablo in the middle of my living room. Instead, I prayed Maisie didn't come out of our room so I didn’t have to stop. I was chasing that soaring feeling that followed behind the tension building inside me. It was tightening further with each thrust of my pelvis against his.
His tongue lashed mine, and the hold on my hips tightened. I ground myself harder and faster against Pablo. The throbbing in my core spread until ecstasy hit and then exploded. My body pulsed and shuddered with my release. I collapsed in a limp, weakened heap, forehead resting on his, our chests rapidly rising and falling as though we’d run a mile.
"Wow," I breathed out. "That was..."
"Yeah it was," Pablo agreed.
I giggled, sitting back on my heels, my butt resting on his thighs, not quite ready to lose our connection despite the heat spreading up my neck and cheeks. I pushed back the shyness creeping in and stared down at the man whose eyes glowed with arousal.
“Do you want me to…” My voice trailed off and my eyes drifted downward.
Pablo's gaze followed mine. "No. You don't need to. That was for you."
"Are you sure?"
“I'm positive. This wasn’t about quid pro quo. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.”
“I should say thank you."
He sent me a quizzical look, one brow raised.
“Oh my god.” I playfully smacked his chest. “Not for that. I just meant thank you for not judging me. You never once blamed me for what happened between my parents and me. That's part of the reason why I haven't told anyone. The last person I told thought I was in the wrong and should go crawling back to my parents and ask for forgiveness."
“I’m not going to ask who that was, because I can already guess.”
I slid off his lap onto the couch next to him and took a page from Maisie's book, cuddling up against his side. My fingers played with the button on his polo.
“I had a really nice time tonight." It hit me what I just said. “I mean dinner and spending time with you. Not just, um, you know."
“I did too." There was amusement in his voice.
The ringing of his phone startled me.
"Sorry, I should get this," he said, leaning sideways to pull his phone out of his back pocket. "Rodriguez."
Pablo jerked upright.
"Si." He rose from the couch and paced while he listened to whoever was on the other end speak. "Claro, puedo ir. Estoy en veinte minutos."
He tapped the screen on his phone and pocketed it before turning to me. “I'm sorry. That was work. Something came up and I have to go."
I moved to stand next to him. “I understand. Be careful."
“I'll call you tomorrow." He gave me a quick kiss and was out the door before I could even say goodbye.
Chapter 19
I rushed out of Michele's apartment. I reached the stairs, and a door opened. Oliver and I both stopped in surprise, his eyes widening for a moment before his expression blanked. He turned around and went back inside. I'd see him again shortly. In less than twenty minutes, I was at my desk at the precinct.
Shortly after, Oliver came striding through the room, Except he wasn't alone. The Captain was leading him in. My boss took a seat across from me and Oliver pulled over a chair from the neighboring desk, flipped it backwards, and straddled it.
"What's going on?" I asked.
“I'm pretty sure Morales killed Salazar," Oliver replied.
Shit. We already knew that was a possibility, but to hear it confirmed…"What makes you think that?"
He rubbed the back of his neck and didn't quite meet my eyes. "Earlier tonight, I was talking to a couple of the guys I've made friends with inside Los Lobos. They mentioned a meeting last night between Morales and some high-powered chica. After it was over and she'd left, he and his close circle of enforcers started celebrating. Talking about how things are going to change for the better for them. How he got rid of someone standing in their way of more money and power. There's been a rumor going around that Salazar hasn't been seen for a few days. Could be a coincidence. Or it might not be."
I glanced between Oliver and Cap, who'd remained silent this whole time. "So what's the next step?"
"As of right now? Nothing. Garrison is going to continue with his original assignment, bringing down Morales and Los Lobos on narcotics charges. We're letting homicide deal with the possible murder investigation. That's not our objective. Arresting drug dealers and getting that shit off the streets is."
From the look in Oliver's eyes, he wasn't satisfied with that. It was an expression familiar to me.
"Rodriguez, I want you to continue in your role as Garrison's contact. Nothing changes in that aspect. We’re going to keep building our case against Los Lobos. Once we can get some solid evidence on the next deal happening, we'll take them down. Continue getting the little fish to flip on the bigger ones until finally we have the shark in our sites. Or in this case, the alpha wolf."
For a second I was tempted to ask to be removed from the case. I was still pissed at Oliver, but I could already hear the Captain's response. Keep your personal shit out of your work shit. All he cared about was making arrests.
"What happens if homicide gets enough evidence on Morales and they charge him?" I asked.
"Have you been in touch with your contact in the DEA?"
I nodded. My relationship with Landon was a sore spot with the Captain. With Landon pushing for more inter-agency cohesion, we'd made a significant more number of arrests with shared intel. It
was only because of her that we got credit for the King bust.
"Reach out to her again," he said. "See if she has heard anything about Salazar being hit. It's possible we might be able to get Morales to flip on Seńora Valesquez if it means taking a plea for a lesser charge. But they have to have enough evidence to charge him in the first place."
“I'll call her first thing in the morning, and let you know as soon as I find anything out," I told him.
Cap rose from his chair. “I'm going home. You two catch up on any pertinent news that needs shared."
I waited for him to leave before picking up my keys from my desk.
"So you're the boyfriend."
My body tensed, and I glared at him. “I don't think it's a good idea for you to bring her up."
He showed me his palms. “I'm not trying to start anything."
I studied him and read the sincerity in his expression. "We aren't there yet, but it's heading in that direction."
"That's good, man. I've known you for years. This is the first time you seem to be really happy. I'm glad. You deserve a nice girl like her."
Who was this person in front of me? This wasn't the Oliver Garrison I knew. "Thanks," I said with a small amount of suspicion.
"Nah, really. I mean it. I saw the three of you together tonight. Thanks for not ratting me out to the Captain, by the way," he said with a sheepish grin. "Anyway. I saw you with her and that little girl of hers. You guys looked like a real family. It was nice seeing you like that. I hope you told her I was sorry for being such an asshole."
“I didn't tell her who you were. Despite the fact that I wanted to murder you, and although I trust her, I'm not going to blow your cover. I made sure they knew that you wouldn't bother either of them again though."
“I appreciate that. And I really am sorry."
“I'm still pissed at you though," I said without heat.
He only nodded. “I don't blame you. I would be, too, if she was my girl."
Not wanting to talk about Michele with him anymore I rose. "Give me a call if you hear anything more, will ya?"