by Lissa Kasey
Alex opened the door to the middle cabin and pulled me inside, locking the door behind us. The lights were on, illuminating the space. I took deep gulping breaths of Alex’s scent and tried to focus on my senses.
“Down another rabbit hole,” Alex said.
The space did sort of look like entering another world. While the photo cabin was the same size as the one we were renting, it was an open space filled with specific lights, screens, props, and racks full of cosplay designs made real. The space had no kitchen, though I knew there was a large bathroom in the back, instead it was broken up into a table area made for laying out and filming tutorials, and a big loft area with a bed made for photoshoots rather than sleeping. Expensive cameras were mounted in places designed to easily swivel or be set on timers to create pictures beyond what our phones could do even in the digital age.
A box sat on the table with a card next to it, which had my name written in Freya’s delicate script. I took a deep breath, unwilling to let go of Alex to open the box. The trembling began to ease. Having walls around us helped, and watching Alex’s awed expression did too.
“Wonder what she made you,” Alex said guiding us to the table.
“It will be something sexy. It’s what she does best.”
“You don’t need help being sexy,” Alex said completely without thought. He wasn’t trying to stroke my ego, that much I knew. He just found me sexy, and I liked that.
Alex reached out to open the box. Inside was an elegant, semi-sheer, baby doll dress in Gothic Lolita style. I’d never done Lolita as it meant a lot of lace and trim ribbons that didn’t seem to fit me. And since leaving the sex trade I hadn’t modeled anything other than sexy superhero wear for the most part. School outfits and bright colored wigs had been left in the past. The hiding of who I was became unnecessary. I’d become infamous rather than famous, and so the costumes had followed suit.
Standing there, staring at the dress, which would barely reach mid-thigh on me, I wondered if it had been anger or bitterness that kept me from the more feminine look I’d mastered prior to meeting Tim. Hot pants and skintight leggings could be sexy, in a different way. They were all I’d worn in years. Wigs and even the heavy eye makeup had gone the wayside. I’d let my hair grow out despite hating the color and the gentle wave that made it hard to work with. Another attempt to hide who I was, or become something I wasn’t? I didn’t know.
“This is gorgeous,” Alex said. “And so soft. Material like this is usually scratchy, right?” He rubbed the edges of the skirt between his fingers. “Is this more polyester magic?”
I examined the edges. The entire design, which appeared made more out of the sort of fabric used for wedding dresses than normal cosplay. I’d have to chat with Freya about the cost. Would hate to have her spending a fortune on one little outfit for me. “Yes, mostly,” I agreed. “Synthetics at least.”
Alex held it up. “Do you want to try it on?”
No.
Something inside me screamed no like an echo of the broken past I’d been drowning in finally reaching the surface. I didn’t want to be on that stage anymore, used like a doll for the pleasure of others. Was that what Alex wanted too? I knew I turned him on. The wigs, the eyeliner, the skirts, Alex admitted he’d enjoyed them. He had gotten off on the videos, been a fan, he told me more than once. But that life was in the past for both of us. Or at least that was what I thought.
In the end Tim only really got off when we were recording. He’d grown bored with me. No matter what dress, flirty makeup, or new toy I tried. It didn’t excite him as much as camera angles and lighting. The production of voyeurism rather than the act of sex.
I could have left a hundred times. Had dozens of opportunities. Never said no because it was easier to stay. Until something ripped me out of his life and changed the world around me. Hardcore wakeup call, vanishing for a few months and then thrown back into a world that lost value with you so quickly. Tim tried to get back together, only I had felt like a broken doll, no longer pretty and able to hold my arms up in a way to make him happy.
Was that what Alex wanted too? A doll? A toy?
I reached for the dress, expecting to play my part, be the pretty femboy I had once been, all while feeling like a puppet, but Alex folded the dress back up into the box.
“Another time, maybe?” he said, smile warm rather than annoyed. Sometimes he was so confusing. I understood men in general. They were simple creatures. Me included. Easy to read, manipulate, please. Only, not Alex. He was easy in a lot of ways. His personality laid back. But to read, not so much. Just when I thought I understood him, he flipped the tables on me.
“You don’t want to see me in the dress?” I asked, my throat feeling tight.
“Sure. But doesn’t have to be now. It’s pretty. Nice of Freya to make it. Didn’t you bring stuff? I know you had a garment bag. What’s in that?”
“Disney designs,” I answered absently, thinking hard about what his motives might be. Did he have them? Or was that simply my brain in overdrive again?
“Like Sky’s ice queen dress?” Alex stepped away to throw out his arms wide. “Let it go!” He sang, flinging his hands like he was casting spells of ice and building a palace. “Let it snow!” He didn’t seem to know more than a few words of the song. “Finally watched the movie. The night you texted me but wouldn’t let me come over. I watched it on Lukas’s Apple TV. Talk about a gay anthem, right?”
My racing heart began to ease as he pranced around the room, singing horribly, the same words over and over since he obviously didn’t know the song. He pretended to throw magic around like he was coating the walls in ice.
“Sky’s dress didn’t have the long cape thing. That was the best part. An ice cape. You have capes in the shop now, but no ice capes. I could totally be an ice king.”
In truth I had been working on something very similar for him. A gender bender sort of thing. Since he’d loved Sky’s outfit. I’d actually made him a few sets of things. None of which I thought would fit at all, as I had very little of his measurements before he’d been taken.
And didn’t that put the skid on my racing thoughts. A reminder that Alex had been taken too. Perhaps not in the same way or even to the same place. Had he changed from the experience? I wasn’t sure yet. Hadn’t known him long enough before or after. But we had a lot of small things in common, and one really big one. We were both more than a little crazy.
“So, the garment bag? What’s in it?” Alex asked. “It’s like a pirate chest of unknown booty I desire to unlock.”
“It’s only a handful of things I’ve been working on. Wanted Freya’s opinion on a few. Sizing, embellishment, etc. Nothing sexy, only fun stuff.”
“For you?” Alex wanted to know.
“For you,” I amended. “Mostly.” After seeing some fan art of gender bending of many of the Disney characters, I decided to try my hand in designing a few. Everything I tried came back to Alex. How I could see him in leggings that looked like a mermaid tail, or a fitted uniform to echo Mulan’s masculine side. The Frozen bend was easy and one of the first I’d completed, having enough fan art online to draw inspiration from.
The idea of making some of Disney’s main characters, sexy, modern, and sort of male appealed in an odd way. Something I had never done before. I had started on sets of characters, though not all turned out usable. Which was why I’d planned to continue this trip even after Alex’s disappearance. I needed the feedback. Something to occupy my mind other than anxious overthinking.
Maybe every cosplayer didn’t start by growing up wanting to be a Disney Princess, but I had. However, envisioning myself in costume was still a struggle. Though for Alex? I had endless ideas.
“Have you ever wanted to be a Disney Princess?” I asked him.
“I loved Mulan. Best part was when the guys all dress up like geishas or whatever and climb the poles to storm the bad guy. I think I’m into the newer movies. Brave, Moana, Frozen, Shrek…”
“Shrek is n
ot a princess movie.”
“He rescues Fiona from a dragon. A kiss saves them. How is it not a princess movie?”
I blinked at him, trying to sort my thoughts, though thankfully they’d stopped running away in a million directions. “Because there is farting and bad jokes?” I offered.
“Bah,” Alex waved his hand. “Technicalities. I think the fact that her parents are still alive, is the most unDisney-like part of it. What is with Disney and dead parents anyway?” He did have a point. Though there were a handful of Disney movies with living parents like Mulan, Brave, and Moana, they were more modern movies.
“What if I run and get the bag?” Alex surveyed the room. “I sort of feel like I’m on a set for a movie. It’s kind of exciting. Can I dress up?” He put his hands on his hips and stood in a wide stance like warriors of old. “Feel like I could be on the cover of a romance novel.”
I squinted at him. After tromping around in the woods and seeing Byrony’s ghost along with whatever else had happened, and there he was shrugging it off like it didn’t bother him. Only that wasn’t true either. The tension in his shoulders made his back straighter, and he had to work to unclench his fists. He needed to unwind too. If he thought a little cosplay could help, I’d find a way to dress him up.
“Okay,” I agreed. “None of it is finished, but okay.”
Alex darted for the door.
“Wait,” I called to him not wanting him to go running into the darkness alone. He paused. I walked him to the door and stood in the doorway. “Let me watch you get there and back. Bring your hair stuff too, so I can fix it.”
“You’re obsessed with my hair,” he accused.
“I am,” I agreed. “Touching it, smelling it, tugging on it when we have sex. Totally obsessed.”
His grin was huge. “Hair stuff too.” He leaned forward, kissed the tip of my nose, then darted across the lawn. Some inner terror in my gut clenched, almost expecting the darkness to open up and swallow him whole right there in front of me. But nothing happened. He let himself into our cabin, rummaging around for a few minutes before reappearing and making his way back across the lawn with the garment bag draped in his arms. He grinned like a little boy with a secret.
“What did you do?” I asked as we both headed inside.
He ignored my question and hung the bag up on a rack near the door. “I can’t wait to see what you made.”
Heat rushed up to fill my face. “None of it’s finished,” I reminded him.
“Finished in what sense?” He asked. “As in completed or as in perfected? You have a way of hating on projects you don’t feel turned out perfectly and calling them unfinished.”
I sighed. He knew me too well already. “There are some things that didn’t work out the way I wanted. I had hoped Freya would have some ideas for fixes. Other things are mostly done, they just need a bit of sizing.”
“Mhmm.” Alex unzipped the bag and began pulling out hangers, placing them on the empty rack to spread them out. “Micah?”
“Yeah?” I asked, absently cataloging the pieces I’d brought.
“Why is this all in my size?”
“Because I was using you as inspiration.”
“While I was away?”
Away. Such an innocuous word. “Yes.”
Alex stepped into my space and kissed me, full lips and mouth this time, devouring. I leaned into him, let him take the lead on whatever he wanted. I wanted to be putty for a while. To turn off my brain and not think. If only I had that ability.
“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” Alex whispered against my lips. He kissed my cheeks again, stealing tears I hadn’t realized were falling still. “Where to start? I think there’s an icy cape in here?”
There was. The ice queen outfit I’d made for him I’d pulled from the fan art. Tight white leather-like pants, and an open shirt with blue shimmering threads. The cape attached to buttons at the shoulders, an iridescent blue train of icy snowflakes. I’d hand sewn the designs, tracing back to my youth and my grandmother’s many lessons in embroidery. I’d never be the delicate artist she had been, but I could make a snowflake look real enough.
Alex looked around the cabin. “No open windows? Can I try this on? Fuck, I should have worn different underwear. Will purple show through these pants?”
“No one to see but us,” I promised him though he was already stripping out of his clothes in a bit of a frenzy. He had to wiggle into the pants a little. Wear would loosen them. The fabric might have looked like leather, but it was part Spandex, so it would form to his body. Alex buttoned and zipped them, swinging his hips carefully to test movement.
“How do they feel?” I asked.
“Lighter than I thought. Tight, but not in a bad way. They aren’t creeping up my crack, at least not that I can feel. Do they look like they are giving me a wedgie?” He turned his back to me, showing me his ass, which outlined in the pants, was firm enough to bounce a quarter off of.
“Looks good from here,” I assured him.
He tugged on the shirt, again a little snug through the shoulders. I under-estimated how broad he was. But that was an easy enough fix. It was a bit of an old European style button up, with chunky caps on the sleeves, and a high collar. He let me adjust the collar and left the top few buttons open. I helped him tuck the shirt in the pants, smoothly, then attached the cape.
“I feel like I’m in a movie,” Alex said. His eyes sparkled, all tension having left him. “My hair’s not right though. The girl in the movie has a braid. Is mine long enough to braid?”
“No braid needed.” I led him toward the bathroom and sat him down in the makeup chair.
“Wow, giant bathroom for a little house.”
“Yes, but the ceilings are pretty low.” There was a standing shower big enough fit several people, two sinks, and a long wall of counter space with a matching mirror for prep work. The room was made for costume changes, cleanup, and necessity.
Alex sat patiently as I worked on his hair, thoughts pulling together from the costume and his overall appearance. I smoothed his hair back into a ponytail to lie at the base of his neck, adding a bit of body to the top front, and even trimming down the edges of his beard until it curved in a perfect hug along his jawline. After a few minutes I stepped away to examine my work. The result wasn’t something I had expected, but wow.
He sat sort of draped in the chair, cape carefully over the back, one leg up over the arm for comfort. Alex had a habit of draping himself over furniture. I didn’t think he noticed it, though sometimes it looked posed. Or perhaps that was my brain thinking sexy thoughts about the way his ass looked when he laid on his stomach on my futon, or how inviting his chest was when he slouched in a chair, legs spread like a beacon of sexiness.
With his hair styled and trimmed, that odd sort of blond tipping of color he had, made him seem more like he was going gray, than blond. He had a mix of dark roots in spots, not from dyeing, his hair simply had that many highlights and lowlights. I wondered if he would actually go gray and thought the idea of seeing Alex peppered with white hair and even little crows’ feet around his eyes suddenly really turned me on.
“Never knew I had a daddy kink before,” I told him honestly.
He blinked at me, then pointed at himself. “Me? A daddy?”
“You are almost ten years older than me.”
“I think I need at least another twenty years before I’m a daddy.”
Looking him over, pants so tight they left little to the imagination, shirt open at the collar to reveal tan skin and a fuzz of soft chest hair, and that delightful beard… wow. My brain completely stopped, finding nothing else important at that moment but him.
“Okay, with the way you’re looking at me right now I’m okay with being a daddy,” Alex said, his expression serious.
“How am I looking at you?” I asked, knowing really, because I wanted to lick him, follow that line from his throat down his half-bared chest, perhaps even find a nipple und
er the edge of that sparkling shirt. All while I sat on the growing bulge stretching the crotch of the white pants, which had been made to look like newly fallen snow.
Alex squirmed under my gaze. “Like you want to eat me?”
“That a bad thing?” I asked, setting aside the grooming supplies and climbing onto his lap. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close, settling my ass over his groin, where I rubbed myself against him to prove he wasn’t the only one turned on.
“Not bad at all,” Alex whispered breathily. “Just don’t ruin the cape, okay? I really like it.”
I unbuttoned the cape and let it fall over the back of the chair, free from any sort of damage, then devoured Alex’s lips. He returned my passion, feeding at my mouth until we were both gasping for breath. I sighed, licking the edges of his mouth, but traced down his neck, over his collarbones and to his chest. Revealing one of his nipples by simply brushing back the fabric on one side, I nipped the little bud, watching it harden beneath my assault.
Alex sucked in a breath, giving me a sweet little moan.
“You know what’s one of the best things about cosplay specific material?” I asked him in-between sucking on one nipple, and pinching the other with my fingers. His hips arched against me, pressing his cock to rub against mine. I gasped and took a deep breath to keep from coming from the friction alone.
“It makes you want to jump my bones?” Alex asked as he leaned into my touch. His fingers wound up in my hair, not pushing or pulling, just resting there.
“That too,” I assured him. “However, it’s made pretty stain resistant.” I reached down to unbutton his pants and carefully slid the zipper down. The vibrant purple of his fitted boxer briefs peeking through the fabric made me smile. A wet spot began to grow and I pushed the fabric back to find his weeping cock hard and ready. Taking the weight of it in my hand I continued the teasing of his nipples, delicacies beneath the edges of that shimmering fabric, while I stroked him.
“Hey, you too,” Alex protested. He always tried to focus on my pleasure.
“Oh, I plan on enjoying myself. Promise.” I worked him with my hand, rubbing him, root to tip, taunting the sensitive head of his cock with my thumb.