Kodiak's Heart

by Lacey Thorn

  “You expected me to?” Emersyn paused at she stared at Rissa.

  “We expected you to do something,” Rissa exclaimed. “Back him. Back someone else. Hell, take the title of alpha yourself. That’s where it belongs, and we all know it.”

  “I’m human, Rissa. I can’t be alpha.”

  “Bullshit!” Rissa exclaimed, and Emersyn almost tripped as she jerked around to stare at the other woman. Did they know? How could they? “You’re Emory Langston’s flesh and blood. Human or not, it’s your right to be alpha. We would have all backed you.”

  “At what cost?” Emersyn asked softly.

  “You think Titus would have challenged you?” Rissa questioned.

  “He wanted to be alpha. I don’t think me claiming the title would have stopped him.”

  “You could have mated. You know there are plenty of males in our den who would have gladly taken you as their mate. Human or not.”

  “No,” Emersyn denied. “I wouldn’t ask that of them.” But not for the reasons Rissa and others thought.

  “In the aftermath of the attack, we all looked to you. We watched and waited to see what you were going to do. And you left us,” Rissa stated softly.

  “What?” Emersyn stopped as they reached the porch of the cabin where she and Ruby would stay. She and Rissa paused their conversation as Ruby claimed their full attention.

  “Pwesent! Pwesent!” Ruby bounced up and down as she waited.

  “Just a sec.” Emersyn pushed the door open and motioned Rissa inside with them. She left the door open, wanting the fresh air flowing through the screen door. “What do you say?”

  “Peas,” Ruby cried, making Emersyn grin.

  “Here you go, kiddo,” Rissa said, putting the gift on the floor in front of Ruby.

  “Daddy got me pwesent,” Ruby sang over and over as she carefully unwrapped the box. She tugged the lid off then squealed with delight as she started pulling things out. “I gots baw-bies! They’s pwincesses. Dare’s fwee of ‘em. And yook! Yook, Mama, dare’s a beawr for me. It’s a byack beawr just yike my Daddy!”

  “Yes, it is,” Emersyn agreed. “Why don’t you sit down and play for a little bit while Rissa and I finish talking?”

  “I pay!” Ruby yelled, clapping her hands.

  Emersyn squatted down to take the dolls out of the boxes for Ruby and realized Malachi had taken the time to take off the multitude of fastenings that attached the dolls to the boxes. They easily slid out. She put them by Ruby, kissed her atop her head and stood. “I’ll be right outside on the porch.”

  Ruby nodded, already carefully looking over her new dolls and talking to them. Emersyn led Rissa back out to the small porch and picked up the conversation.

  “I didn’t leave you. I had Ruby. I stepped away to take care of her.”

  “Exactly. You left us. I’m not saying we blame you for the choice you made, but it didn’t have to be one or the other, Em. We would have stepped in to help you with Ruby. To help Malachi. Amber was part of us, too. Losing her wasn’t exclusive to the two of you,” Rissa reprimanded.

  Emersyn shook her head. “I never thought. I… I’m sorry, Rissa.”

  Rissa shrugged. “You lost a lot that day. Amber was like a sister to you. And your dad… We all know how much the two of you meant to one another. We wanted to be there for you. He was our alpha. We were lost without him. Then you pulled away. When Titus stepped in, some were just glad to have a leader. Some wanted to stay in the pack, and if that meant accepting him until something better came along, then okay. Others left. Once word reaches them that you’ve come here, I expect many of them will show up.”

  Emersyn shook her head. Why would they follow her? Why would they want her to be alpha? She’d hidden among them, always playing the role of a human.

  “Why?” She couldn’t hold in the question.

  “My mother used to watch you when we were younger. I remember her saying there was a fire inside you that would burn down the world if your dad didn’t let you be what you were always meant to be,” Rissa shared.

  “I’m nothing special,” Emersyn argued.

  Rissa laughed. “I used to tell my mom the same thing, but it was a lie. And I knew it. There’s something about you, Em. A core of strength and honor so many are lacking. When you give your word, it means something. Every now and then, I swear I can glimpse something inside you, something you’ve become far too good at hiding. And I wonder how much better the world would be if you let it out.”

  “I…” Emersyn stopped, shaking her head as she swallowed.

  “I’m not sure why you look so panicked at that. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. All I wanted to do was let you know we support you. If this is the pack where you plan to make your home, then we’d like to join. No offense, but it smells as if you’ve already mated with the alpha here, anyway.”

  “We haven’t mated,” Emersyn disagreed.

  Rissa lifted a brow. “If you say so.”

  Emersyn let it go. “You’d want to stay here? To join the Holloway den?”

  Rissa nodded. “If you’re here. Don’t you get it, Em? You’re our alpha. Whether you want the job or not. It’s been yours since we said goodbye to your dad.”

  “Rissa—”

  “Think about it,” Rissa encouraged. “If you want us to go after a few days, we will.”

  “I’d never ask you to leave,” Emersyn told her.

  “Maybe not,” Rissa agreed. “But will you ask us to stay?”

  Emersyn didn’t know what to say. Rissa patted her on the shoulder, turned and headed back toward the cabin she, Natalie and Adam were sharing. Emersyn stood there for a moment, watching her. What had Rissa’s mom seen in Emersyn? What did Rissa see? Had she not been as successful in hiding her bear as she’d thought? Even worse, had she been so wrapped up in her own grief she’d turned her back on the den? She bit down on her bottom lip to hold in her groan. She had. Her father would be so disappointed in her.

  She stepped back into the cabin, shutting the door behind her this time. Keeping an eye on Ruby, she took a quick inventory of the space. Two bedrooms, one slightly larger than the other. The front room where Ruby played opened into a kitchen. Half-bath lay between the bedrooms, and what she figured was a full bathroom was attached to the bigger bedroom. It would work for them. Matheus had set the suitcases in the bigger bedroom. A quick glance at the kitchen showed it stocked with plenty of essentials. She wouldn’t be cooking any big meals, but there were basic staples she could work with if she wanted.

  She poured both of them something to drink and pulled a box of cookies out of the cabinet. She put three on a plate for Ruby, grabbed a couple for herself then headed toward the low coffee table close to where Ruby played.

  “Would you and your new friends like some cookies and milk?” she asked, setting her haul on the tabletop.

  “Cookies! I yike cookies!” Ruby carefully set down her dolls and turned toward the plate. “Want to pay with me?”

  “Of course,” Emersyn agreed, sitting next to Ruby on the floor. “Which princess should I be?”

  “This one is me,” Ruby informed her, pointing toward one of the dolls. “This can be you. They has bond haiwr yike you an me.”

  “They do,” Emersyn agreed. She and Ruby played while they ate the cookies and milk. When Ruby yawned, Emersyn was more than ready for a nap herself. “I’m thinking we need a nap.”

  “I not seepy,” Ruby said around a yawn then giggled.

  “Hmm, that sure sounded like a sleepy girl,” Emersyn countered as she picked up the plate and glasses and carried them to the sink in the kitchen. “Why don’t we check out the rooms and see if we can find a bed fit for a baby bear?”

  Ruby scampered off toward the smaller room while Emersyn locked the door. Not that it would keep out Laramie if he wanted in, but it might detract anyone else. Ruby ran out of the smaller room and dodged inside the bigger one before coming back
out and grabbing her new teddy bear.

  “I yike this one.” She pointed toward the smaller room, which surprised Emersyn. She’d expected Ruby to want to sleep near her. “It’s a room for a yittle giwl.”

  “Do you want me to bring your princess dolls in, too?” Emersyn asked.

  “Yes, peas,” Ruby answered around another yawn.

  It took ten minutes to get her little girl settled in the bed. Ruby must have been exhausted. She was asleep before Emersyn even reached the door. She left the door open and headed toward the larger room. She left the suitcases for later, eyeing the bed. It wasn’t Laramie’s. She almost smacked herself for that thought, but it remained in her head. Even when she tried to put a little space between them, he was on her mind.

  She sat on the mattress and heard the crinkle of paper in her pocket as she bent to slide off her shoes. Malachi’s letter. Slipping the envelope free, she held it for a moment, almost afraid to open it. What had he said to Laramie in his letter? Why was he writing instead of calling? Leave it to Malachi to avoid conflict by sending a written message. It was hard to argue with him then.

  Emersyn carefully broke the seal and took out the sheet of paper. She read the note three times before her mind processed what he was admitting. Her heart raced. Fear, she swore. But part of her insisted it was something else. Hope.

  Emersyn,

  So many things I need to say. Yet, all I can think of is something your dad once said to me. Did you know Emory once told me he wished I’d met you first? He thought maybe I would have chosen you for my mate instead. For a time, I wondered what he had against Amber. Then I realized it was merely that he loved you more than anyone else in the world. I tell you this so you’ll understand what I’ve always known. What your father didn’t take the time to tell you. But then, we always think our time is limitless.

  Amber hated that you were forced to hide who you are from the world. You’re a strong, fierce bear shifter. One who was taught by those you loved and respected most that you could never let the world see who you really are.

  Here’s the thing, Em. Our entire lives, we’ve fought against a group of supremacists that would see us wiped off the face of the earth. We’re all hunted. Every species of shifter. The one thing we’ve learned is we’re more powerful together. We’ll still battle. We’ll take losses and take the lives of those who attack us, as well. But our greatest strength lies in sticking together.

  I know your dad had plans for you. He never intended for you to be alone. I know that because of the things he said to me. He wanted to find a bear worthy of you, but there was no one in your den who measured up as far as he was concerned. Now that he’s no longer with us, I decided to step in. I sent you to the one place I knew there were bears worthy of you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have one particular bear in mind. Laramie Holloway. It makes sense to me that the two of you come together.

  Listen to me, Em. He’s the last Kodiak male. He can protect you if you let him. You’re the last Kodiak female. Trust me on this. Together, you and Laramie Holloway could create the strongest bear den in existence. Show him who you are. Who you really are. Trust your bear to help you.

  Because I know how stubborn you can be, how hard your father drilled into your head the need to hide, I’ve done something I hope you’ll forgive me for. I switched your pheromone blocker pills for human vitamins. It will take some time, but the pill you take to hide the scent of your bear and repress her inside you will start fading from you. Undoing that… It’s freedom. Embrace it and her. She’s a part of you you’ve never been able to truly embrace. She needs you as much as you need her.

  Then there’s Ruby. You knew I wouldn’t ignore my trump card, didn’t you? My little girl lost her mama, but she was lucky enough to find another mama in you. What will you teach her? To hide? Or to embrace who she is and live the life she’s destined for? I’m betting on the latter. It’s what Amber always wanted for you. It’s what I’m sure she’s hoping you’ll teach Ruby. I’m betting it’s what your father wanted for you, too.

  Sometimes, as parents, we protect too much. Like the way you were constantly around Ruby when she first started walking, so you could prevent her from falling. But it’s okay to fall, Em. Falling is part of living. What matters is that we get back up and keep trying, keep living. Live, Em. Live with the courage of the bear inside you, and know that when a hunter comes for you, you’ll have an entire pack to guard your back. Including me.

  Malachi

  She crumpled the paper in her hands.

  “Malachi,” she whispered. “What have you done?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Laramie tossed the letter aside and headed toward the door. Hand on the knob, he paused. He wanted to head to the cabin and demand answers from Emersyn. What did Malachi mean? Why was she trying to protect everyone? What type of danger was she hiding from? He needed answers, and the one thing he knew was he wouldn’t get them from Em. Not when it was all he could do to keep his hands off her when they were together.

  He grabbed his phone, shot out a group text then headed upstairs. There was no containing his growl of displeasure when Jemma stepped out in front of him.

  “Not now,” he snapped as he tried to move past her.

  As if she hadn’t heard him, she threw herself against him, wrapping around him and rubbing. The touch made him ill. His skin felt irritated where she rested against him.

  “I understand you have needs, alpha. I’m willing to meet them for you. You don’t need to lower yourself to fucking around with a human. She’s beneath you, and I’m right here.”

  He growled, snatching her wrists and forcing her away from him. “Listen to me. I want no misunderstanding. You will stop this. Now. Let me be perfectly clear, so this ends here. You’re not my mate. I don’t want you. I told you when you arrived here you’d always be welcome in my home. Don’t make me regret that, Jemma.” He released her and turned to walk away. He’d had enough of the girl and her silly attempts at seduction or whatever it was she was doing.

  Fletch and Milo were in his office when he got there along with Koby, Holt and Declan.

  “What’s up?” Koby asked as soon as he entered.

  “Titus Walker,” Laramie said.

  “Who’s that?” Declan asked.

  “Walker,” Holt repeated, making the connection immediately.

  “Malachi sent me a letter with the trio he sent our way. Some interesting things in the letter,” Laramie told them.

  “Emersyn’s father was the alpha of the pack.” Koby brought up. Laramie had wondered who would mention it. “Maybe that’s what you’ve been picking up on that the rest of us didn’t.”

  “I’m picking up on the fact she’s my mate,” Laramie stated with a growl. “Eventually, I’ll convince her of that. In the meantime, I need to make sure she doesn’t run.”

  “Run?” Holt asked. “Why would she run?”

  “Let’s say she’s not as certain of the mating as I am,” Laramie admitted. “But it doesn’t matter. If she runs, I’ll chase her down. There’s nowhere she can go that I won’t follow.”

  Koby started laughing. The sound grew until he was bent over, wiping tears from his eyes.

  “What?” Laramie demanded.

  “Just remembering a certain conversation we had. I believe your exact words were ‘Alphas don’t chase’. There was something about your mate feeling so lucky to have you that she’d obey your every command, too. How’s that working out for you? Oh, wait. Emersyn’s in a cabin, and you’re afraid she’ll run.”

  “I don’t see the humor,” Laramie snapped, but there was no missing the amusement in the gazes around him.

  “I do, big brother. I do,” Koby assured him, grin plastered on his face. Laramie wanted to knock it off.

  “The point is Emersyn needs us. Needs our protection. Malachi told me that in my letter.”

  “From what?” Fletch asked, and Laramie knew the other man
was ready to do battle if needed. It was why he’d called Fletch and his brother, Milo. He needed them. Polar bear shifters were fierce in battle. And fearless. The powerful duo had joined the Holloway pack as young boys when their mother had shown up on Mathew Holloway’s doorstep, seeking protection. Laramie’s father had never spoken of what she’d shared with him, but he’d taken in her and her two sons. And Laramie had made friends for life with the brothers. Hell, half the time he thought of them as two more of his own brothers, and he already had six.

  “Check that for a minute,” Declan said. “Who is Titus Walker? I’m assuming he’s related to Lawrence?”

  Laramie nodded. “Titus is the new alpha of Emersyn’s old den. He stepped in when her father was killed. Malachi says Titus and Lawrence are related. He also knows Lawrence was behind the attacks here. I have my suspicion on who he’s spoken with and should have it confirmed shortly. As far as I know, he hasn’t been told about his sisters yet.”

  “He’s looking for a connection,” Holt rationalized. “Following the dots, so to speak. Lawrence plotted with the hunters to take out the females here. While in the Washington pack, they lost mostly males. Probably the ones who would have stood between Titus and the alpha position.”

  “Definitely the impression Emersyn gave me,” Laramie agreed.

  “So what was the end game?” Koby asked. “Get rid of our females and what? Wait for us to die off? How does that help this Titus? I’m not seeing the connection here.”

  “It puts Titus in a position of power. Basically: I’m the alpha. This is my den. We have females. Why stay in a pack where there’s no mate to help continue your line?” Holt theorized.

  “Son of a bitch!” Koby exploded while Laramie clenched his fists.

  “My question is why does Lawrence hate the Holloway family so much he’d instigate this? Were he and your father at odds?” Holt asked.