“I do.” I bring my coffee to my lips and push books out of the way. The man brought me coffee and bar food. Why is it making me so emotional? “Thanks, Chase,” I say and realize that I’ve thanked him already. “Want to stay and help me eat this? It’s too much for me to eat on my own.”
“I can do that. For the food.”
I wave him around the counter and pull out another stool. He smells good and looks even better. His jeans and T-shirt cover up the scars but don’t hide the tattoos that decorate the skin on his arm.
“Did you get much sleep?” I ask. “After I left, I mean.”
“About four hours. Which is probably more than you, I’m guessing.”
“I showered as soon as I got home and slept until about ten-thirty. I think I slept more than you did, but I still feel tired,” I say with a small smile and dip a fry into the warm cheese. “What about you?”
“I’m okay,” he says. “I went for a run after we unloaded that truck, which helped. Though I wasn’t the one who drank enough to kill a whale last night.” He playfully nudges me with his elbow.
“It wasn’t that much.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Don’t make me remind you of the threesome that almost happened.”
“You just did.”
He laughs and I shake my head, smiling. “Maybe I should say sorry for intervening. Those two looked like they’d be a good time.”
I shudder and laugh. “Ew. No way.” The door opens again, and I turn to see Wyatt walking in. He smiles when he sees me.
“Good afternoon, Sierra.” His eyes go to Chase and his face falls a bit. “And, uh, Chase, right?”
“Right,” Chase says. “And you’re Wyatt, from the bank where my sister-in-law works.”
“Isn’t she your half-sister-in-law? Josh is your half-brother, right?”
I stare at Wyatt, wide-eyed, and then slowly turn my head to see Chase. He looks amused, not offended, and doesn’t bother responding. He grabs a fry and dips it in the cheese.
“Are you looking for a book?” I ask Wyatt and wipe my hands.
“Uh,” he starts, still staring at Chase. He wanted to offend him, and I have no idea why. Chase’s non-response is irritating Wyatt. “Yeah. I need to get my grandma something for her birthday. You remember her, don’t you, Sierra?”
“Yeah,” I respond, giving Wyatt a look. I know most people in this town. Why is he acting so weird? “We just got some new cozy-mystery novels in this week. I ordered a few from indie authors too so she wouldn’t be able to get them just anywhere.”
Wyatt leans in and gives me a forced smile. “It’s sweet you remember what she likes to read. I guess she made an impression on you like you did on her.”
“She’s nice,” I say and walk to the display of new books right in front of the counter. “And she’s a regular customer.”
“She talks about you, you know, and still brings up how nice it was to have you around the house.”
“Aww, that’s nice. I always enjoyed talking to her. She had such an interesting past.” I grab the book and give it to Wyatt. “Make sure you tell her I said ‘happy birthday’ then.”
“You can say it yourself. How ‘bout you come to her party tonight?”
“Uh,” I start, mind blanking on a way to politely make up an excuse not to go. “Tonight isn’t good.” Each word comes out slowly, obviously a lie.
“You got plans?”
“Yeah. I do. I have a, uh, a thing…”
“I’m taking her on a date,” Chase says, sitting up straight. He brushes salt off his fingers and meets my eye. “I have a very romantic evening planned for us. If Sierra didn’t go, I’d have to cancel the helicopter and I won’t get my deposit back.”
How he says everything with such sincerity and a straight face, I’ll never know. I blink, look away from Chase and back to Wyatt. “Right. So, uh, sorry.”
Wyatt nods, gives Chase a quick glare and then pays for the book and leaves. Standing behind the counter next to Chase, I turn, hands on my hips, and inspect him.
“What?” he asks, taking another popper and putting it in his mouth.
“I don’t know what I find more curious: the creativity of your lies or the ease at which you tell them.”
He smiles, finishes chewing, and says, “Either way, that’s a compliment.”
I shake my head. “A helicopter, really?”
“Hey.” He holds up his hands defensively. “You seemed to enjoy the Mr. Grey vibe the first time we met.”
“Christian Grey is pretty damn sexy,” I agree. “And thanks, but I really don’t need to be saved like that, you know.”
“Oh, I know. We already established how well you handle yourself. You’d get out of the party, I’m sure, but he’d be back. That guy has a serious school-girl crush on you.”
I shake my head and let out a breath. “I know. I was friends with his sister and went to prom with him when he was a senior and I was a sophomore but only because he had no one else to go with and underclassmen couldn’t go to prom unless a senior asked them. And I really wanted to go to prom. It was the classic Under the Sea theme that year.”
“You used him for a theme night.”
“I totally did. I’ve always had a girl-crush on Ariel.”
Chase laughs and then slowly runs his eyes over me. “I should take you out tonight. You don’t want to get caught in a lie, do you?”
I stare back at him and bite my lip. Part of me really does want to go out with him. He’s funny, confident, and so damn hot. There was a time in my life not that long ago where Lisa and I would gush over a man like Chase, admiring his fine physique from a distance. We could look, but not touch.
I can touch.
I’m single.
I can touch whoever I want. Whenever I want. It shouldn’t feel wrong.
Yet it does.
“Sierra?” Chase asks softly and reaches out. His fingers sweep over my wrist, and the tenderness of his touch makes me want to melt into him. I crave the touch of a man, the way it feels to be wrapped in someone’s arms.
“Sorry,” I say and bring my arms in and around myself. “Chase,” I start, only to let out my breath and shake my head. “When I said I wasn’t the kind of girl you’d want to date, it wasn’t a lame attempt to blow you off.”
“Then what was it?”
“The truth.”
Chase’s eyes soften, and he gently curls his fingers around my wrist. “It’s okay,” he whispers, and it’s almost like he knows. I twist my arm in his grasp and slide my hand up, so my fingers intertwine with his.
“Before this,” I start, feeling my chest tighten. “My boyfriend…Jake…” I say his name and the same pain that hurts my heart is reflected on Chase’s face. “He died.” Tears fill my eyes and my bottom lip begins to tremble. I pull my hand out of Chase’s grasp and turn. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Chase says and stands. His hands land on my shoulders, and he gingerly turns me around, pulling me close. “Don’t ever be sorry for feeling, Sierra. It’s what makes us human.” A tear rolls down my cheek and Chase brushes it away. “And don’t worry about going out tonight.”
“I want to,” I whisper. “I find you interesting, Chase. I want to go out with you but it’s…it’s…” I let the words die in my throat. Because I don’t know what it is. Too soon? It’s been almost a year and a half, yet the hole in my heart is still fresh. The edges of the wound are still seeping blood. It’s thickening and beginning to scar, but the oozing hasn’t stopped, and I’m weak from blood loss.
“Your heart was broken,” he fills in.
“Yes. But it was because…because he died.”
“I’m so sorry, Sierra.”
“And that’s why you shouldn’t want to be with me. I have baggage.”
“Everyone does,” he replies and slips his arms around me. I step into his embrace, soaking in the warmth of his touch. “There aren’t many people I’m willing to pick up the baggage for, but you’re o
ne of them, Sierra. I don’t know why,” he confesses. “But there is something about you I’ve never seen before. And I want more of it. Go out with me tonight. Give me a chance.”
I look up at Chase and see it. The momentary slip in his tough exterior. It’s not the first time I’ve seen it, and right now, I hope it’s not the last.
“Okay.”
* * *
“Spill,” Lisa orders, leaning on the counter.
“We close in five minutes, you know?”
“I already locked the door.”
“You can’t do that!”
She shrugs. “But I did. Now fucking tell me everything! Wyatt came back all huffy saying you’re going on a date with Chase tonight.”
“I am. Kind of.”
Lisa leans back, waiting for me. “Don’t make me beat it out of you.”
I look at the clock, decide we’re close enough to closing, and pull the cash drawer out of the register. “You know yesterday was Jake’s birthday.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Let’s just say I didn’t handle it too well. I was all emotional, and then got mad that Chase said he’d call and never did. So I went to The Mill House to yell at him, but ended up drinking too much, puking by the river, and passing out in Chase’s bed.”
Lisa’s jaw drops. “Are you being serious?”
“I am. And no, nothing happened, sorry to disappoint you. He was the perfect gentleman last night. But this morning…” I wiggle my eyebrows, teasing Lisa. “Nothing happened this morning. I thought he was going to kiss me, but then his brother came over because they had a delivery at the bar, so whatever vibe we felt was over.” I pull out a handful of pennies and start counting.
“Do you want him to kiss you?” Lisa asks after I counted and sorted.
“I think so.”
Lisa waits until I count the rest of the change. “That still doesn’t explain why Wyatt says you are going out with Chase tonight.”
“He brought me food and coffee this afternoon and stayed to eat with me. Wyatt asked me to go to his grandma’s birthday and you know I’m terrible with excuses, so Chase said I can’t go because I’m going out with him.” I shake my head. “He really is irritating. It’s like he thinks I can’t take care of myself. Socially, I mean. He probably thinks I’m socially awkward.”
“You are socially awkward.”
I give her a look. “I’m usually better at hiding it.”
“So you’re not actually going out with him tonight?”
I quickly count the dollar bills. “I am. I think. Maybe. I shouldn’t.” I bite my lip and look up. Lisa is hopeful, and I remember her words all too well about how hard it is to be my friend. “How was the concert?”
“Fucking amazing, but don’t change the subject. Go out with him. Try to have fun. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
I blink away tears. “I feel like I am.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to go out with Chase. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him.”
“That makes me so happy to hear. I want you to be happy, Si. And I know you’re a relationship person. You like being with someone.”
“I do.”
“Now to discuss the important stuff: what are you wearing and where are you going?”
“I don’t know. He’s going to pick me up around seven-thirty or whenever he’s done helping his brother get through the dinner rush at The Mill House. We’ll figure something out. There is the tractor-pull tonight.”
“The tractor-pull is a step above the school bus derby at least.” Lisa rolls her eyes. “Nothing says romance like the smell of exhaust.”
“I’m joking, Lisa. But I could give him a tour of Summer Hill: Civil War Edition.”
“I honestly don’t know if you’re joking about that. I know you like the walking tour of the town enough to go every year.”
“I think it’s cool that a lot of the buildings built in the late 1800s are still here. And it’s important to know the history around you.”
“You’re such a nerd.”
I hold my hand up. “Mutant and proud.”
Lisa pushes off the counter and untucks her blouse. Dressing office-casual like that every day would drive me nuts. “Have fun tonight,” she starts. “And text me with updates. Rob’s working tonight so I’ll be home being bored and need some excitement.”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
* * *
Water drips from my hair, splashing onto the hardwood floor. Panicked, I grab my robe, throw it on, and pad to the front door. It’s only half-past five, and someone is knocking on the door. Chase isn’t two hours early, is he?
“Oh, Mom, it’s just you,” I say when I open the door.
“Just me? Do I need to remind you of the seventeen hours of labor I went through for you?”
“You do all the time.” I step aside and let Mom in, shutting the door behind her. “And hi, Mom.”
She gives me a hug, surreptitiously eyeing the house behind me. “You cleaned. Everything looks great, honey. And that smell…is that lemongrass?”
I nod. “My favorite scent. I got a new diffuser too.” I motion to the oil diffuser on the end table next to my couch. “The colors change and make shadows that look like a creepy forest at night.”
Mom pulls me in for another hug and plants a kiss on my forehead. “It’s so you, Sierra.”
“Not that I’m not happy to see you, Mom, but what are you doing here?”
“You didn’t come home last night.” She holds up her hand so I don’t interrupt. “Which is fine because you’re an adult and I said I wouldn’t keep tabs on you anymore, but I wanted to check in before your father and I head out.”
Between my siblings and I, I was always granted the most freedom. Which was directly related to the fact that I wasn’t interested in the normal teenage rebellion type of things like my brother and sister. Sam went out drinking with friends because that’s the normal thing to do and Scott was rebellious just to cause trouble.
My house is about a mile behind my parent’s mansion. They can’t see into the house or anything but can tell when the lights are on or off. Neither paid much attention to my whereabouts before, but since Jake passed, Mom’s been more attentive.
“Head out?” I echo.
“We’re going to Indiana to discuss purchasing the windmill farm.”
“Oh, right.” I shake my head. “I remember now. Is Gran going with?”
“Of course. There is no slowing that woman down. I hope you inherited her longevity.”
“Me too. And I’ll keep an eye on the house. Do you need me to feed Marley?”
“I was just going to ask. I left instructions out in case you need them.”
I consider hassling Mom over it, since they’ve had that parrot since I was a kid, but I’m the same way with my cats. “Okay. I’ll hang out with him too.”
“Oh, good. Thank you. He does get lonely. Are you and Lisa going out? It looks like you were in the middle of getting ready.”
“I was, but I’m not going out with Lisa. I’m going on a date.”
Mom doesn’t say anything. Her blue eyes widen so much I can almost see myself reflected back in them. Her lips—which are full thanks to lip injections—begin to slowly part yet she still doesn’t speak.
“Mom?” I ask. Is she horrified I’m going out? Thinks it’s too soon?
“Oh, Sierra.” She throws her arms around me. “You have no idea how happy this makes me.” She squeezes me tight and leans back. “Your father and I have been so worried. We didn’t want you to give up on having a love life.”
“There’s no love…” I start, feeling awkward. “It’s just a date.”
“It’s a starting point, and one I’ve been waiting for.”
“You don’t think it’s too soon?”
Mom takes my hands in hers. “Only if you feel like it is. There is no right or wrong time when it comes to things like this. Who are you going out w
ith?” She shakes her head, knowing it’s impossible for her to not judge whoever I name. “It doesn’t matter. Have fun tonight.”
“I will,” I say with a smile, but feel empty inside. “Safe travels, Mom. When are you leaving?”
“As soon as your father gets in, we’re heading to the airport. We’ll be back Monday evening. I switched you to be the emergency contact for the house this weekend with the security company, too.” She hugs me again. “It’s good to have you back, baby.”
Chapter 12
Chase
“I got it from here,” Josh tells me. “You can go.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. A lot of the regulars are at the tractor pull tonight, so it’ll be slow, even for a Friday.”
“You say that like it’s not one of the most redneck things you go to,” I say with a laugh.
“Don’t judge it ‘till you go. They’re fun.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” I change out a few bottles of booze that are running low and clear off one more table before heading out.
“Chase,” someone calls right as I get to the door. “Wait up.”
Lisa, Sierra’s cousin, is hurrying over. She’s here alone and put in an order for takeout minutes ago.
“Hey, Lisa. Do you need something else?”
“Just to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“Sierra told me what you did. She never would have gotten out of that party tonight if you hadn’t helped, but don’t tell her I said that. So, thanks for looking out for her. Again.”
“I like looking out for her.” And looking at her, but I don’t say that out loud.
“And she said you guys are hanging out tonight. Did she tell you about her previous boyfriend?”
I nod. “She did.”
“That’s a relief. And she’ll kill me for telling you, but she’s looking forward to tonight, even though she’s feeling a lot of guilt for moving on.”
I find myself nodding again, trying to separate in my mind what Sierra’s told me versus what I’ve learned about her from the voicemails. Fuck. It’s blurring together. My lack of response causes Lisa to look at me funny.
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