by Leeah Taylor
“I fucking hate you.” I scan the ground. Blood, bodies, and heads everywhere. “This behavior isn’t normal.”
“I know.” He’s nodding, still smiling, and points at one body, more specifically at a patch of skin. It’s charred and healed over several times. “They’re learning. Evolving.”
“That’s what worries me.”
It’s not new either. These things have been changing in the smallest ways and my greatest concern is when those little changes make bigger ones possible.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“You didn’t answer my question. You gonna talk to her?”
I glare, primed to hit him again for being a pain in my ass. “Yeah. Eventually.”
Cooper huffs. “Yeah, and that’s what worries me.”
Chapter Three
Berkeley
I’m raging by the time we reach the gate to the old school. Tristan didn’t say two words to me the entire hike back, and Carver stayed stoic in the back of the group.
I can hear his daddy in my head. First one in, last one out, like an alpha should. A twinge pulls in my chest and I wonder how he’s doing. My mom split when I was a kid and my dad might as well have done the same. He couldn’t deal. Sure, he was around, but he wasn’t raising me. Harlan did, though. Which makes it all so much harder.
Carver is the embodiment of my entire life before the world burned to the ground, and I can’t let him derail my life now.
I finally look back at him. He watches me with a million questions in his stare. I want to answer them all, but at what risk? He’s gone by morning and that’s that. I can’t let Carver risk what I’ve, we’ve, built here.
He flicks his eyes in Tristan’s direction and any questions vanish, leaving behind his jealousy and anger. It washes over me in suffocating waves and reminds me how long it’s been since I’ve been near another wolf, let alone an alpha. Not sure what he’s pissed about. He knows better. As much as Tristan wants more, even if I wanted to, I’m not capable of giving of giving it to him. I don’t belong to him.
I belong to Carver in every goddamn way, and it only fuels my rage. Sure, I can fuck anything I want, but in the dead of night after it’s all said and done, it’s him I still crave. The one person who has the power to make my blood boil and pussy pulsing wet. All with just a look.
I turn back to the gate and shout, “Open up.”
The gate opens and before I say or do something completely stupid, I go inside and head over to Josie. She’s already arching a brow at the fresh faces.
“Looks like a rough one.”
Blowing out a breath, I lean against a fence post and nod. “It was.”
“Who are the newbies?”
I catch her eyeing Carver and it’s everything I can do not to allow my wolf to come to the surface, claws out. He only smirks in my direction after checking Josie out first.
Asshole.
He laughs and keeps walking. She’s not even his type, either. Double asshole.
“Ran into them out there during a Feral attack.”
She drags her attention from him. “Y’all are okay though, right?”
“Yeah, we’re fine. They’re going to stay the night, leave in the morning. Can you show them where they can stay?”
Her grin says it all. “Yep.”
“Good.” I push off of the post. “Lock the gate and come inside. And stop ogling the tall one. He’s off limits.”
“But…”
“No buts… off limits.”
I’ll be damned if Carver fucking Moore is going to get any quickies under my roof.
“You can check your weapons here.” I point at the windowed counter that used to be the administrative offices, now turned arsenal.
Carver and Cooper exchange glances while the two other guys with them wait for one to approve the demand. It surely wasn’t a request. We leave guns in the arsenal. We learned the hard way after someone went ape shit from the pure madness of it all. I won’t be making that mistake again.
Carver approaches the counter and unholsters the 9mm from his waist and lays it down, then lets the rifle slide off his shoulder and lays it next to the other. He moves closer and I’m sure Tristan growls down the hall watching it. By Carver’s amused grin, he knows it.
“Whatever you say.”
“Good.” Josie walks in and I point at her. “Josie will get you guys settled on the third floor. Make sure you’re fed too.”
“Appreciate it, Berk,” Cooper says.
The genuine warmth in his tone cracks through my walls and I give him a small smile. “Always, Coop.”
Even without a glance back, I can feel Carver watching me. Heat spreads from my back to front, through my limbs and down into my core; reaching all the way to the soul he walked away from.
Tristan moves to fall in step with me and I stop without glancing at him. “No.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously. Just no.”
“Because of him?”
He can’t be as stupid as he sounds right now. “Because you’re an idiot who forgets I just fuck you for the fun of it.” I chance a look and expect to feel some kind of guilt or regret for what I said, but I don’t. “I’ve told you before what this is and you never want to listen. So no.”
I’ve never wanted to run free more than now. Shed my flesh and let my wolf do her thing. All the pain of it would be worth it to escape this clusterfuck. There’s no outcome between Carver and Tristan which doesn’t end in the two of them brawling. I’d like to think of Tristan beating the shit out of Carver. I don’t need him to because I can do it myself, but it’s no match. I’ve seen the alpha fight and Tristan would go down before it even started.
I take the stairs down to the locker rooms and listen. For once, I want a shower all to myself. Usually it’s way too much to ask, but everyone is upstairs in the cafeteria eating. I’m happy to let my stomach whine and groan to get some time alone.
My clothes peel off like a second skin in a mixture of sweat and dried blood, and I toss them right into the garbage. The blood will never come out. Not Feral blood. It’s almost black, sticky, and stains like a bitch.
I switch on the water and run my hand under the spray. Solar panels are probably the best damn thing we ever found on a scavenge run. And Jay, the jolly giant, knows how to work with that kind of shit, along with all the other oddities found on runs. He makes something useful out of a lot, sometimes even a little.
I don’t care when I step under the hot water spray and it’s the only sound dominating all my senses; drowning out every creak and steady chatter from above. My aching muscles finally relax. I’m home. I’m safe. And I didn’t lose anybody today.
It’s Carver invading everything. My mind. My senses. Two floors up and I can feel him. All of him. From his amusement to his own thirsty, raging wolf. It all consumes me and ignites the burn in my chest for him. Coaxing and clawing to sate the hungry storm raging inside of me.
My wolf and a mate bond can’t erase the betrayal of his abandonment. I can’t let it. No matter how strong the pulse in the base of my neck is building for his bite. Carver doesn’t get off the hook so easily, if at all. But if I don’t do something, I won’t last until morning. He’ll seek me out. And my wolf will do as she pleases if left unchecked because the bitch is unpredictable as fuck. Does whatever she wants at her leisure.
Awareness prickles through me and I open my eyes. Somehow I’m not surprised when it’s those icy blues watching me from the other side of the shower; devouring me with only a look.
I don’t cover myself. Pfft, modesty. This man knows me from head to toe, every inch better than any other soul. There’s nothing to hide.
Carver smirks. “You called?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You sure as hell were calling to my cock.”
Okay fine, I guess that’s fair. “Get out of my head, Carver.”
“It wasn’t me in your head, Spitfire.” He reaches beh
ind him and pulls his shirt over his head. I’m focused on everything that’s only gotten firmer and harder with time when he takes a step into the shower.
“Absolutely not.”
He freezes with a smile. His arms cross and he leans back against the tiled partition. God, he hasn’t changed a bit. He’s better. More delicious. Every curve and dip leads me down to where I’m definitely not looking.
So not looking.
Fucking hell.
I’ve seen it.
“This is inappropriate.”
His gaze darkens. “Do you want me to leave, Berkeley?”
God, I really don’t but he’s not allowed to come any closer either. If it were Tristan or anyone else, I’d have lost my shit, beat them six ways to Sunday and maybe let them live. But I can’t reach down deep enough to find the anger or rage when he’s looking at me like he’s imagining every dirty thing he wants to do to me.
I fall back against the cold tile, trapped by his stare and do the only thing I know will drive him to madness. And unless I say otherwise, if he’s the same Carver I always knew him to be, he won’t budge from that spot. Not one tiny step.
My hand slides down my front without taking my eyes from his. I’m not sure I could if I tried. It’s either us or our wolves keeping us locked in this showdown. I’d lie to myself and try to chalk it up to proving a point, but even I know I need to get off good and hard.
And I need him to see it. Watch me get off at the sight of him helpless to join in.
The first dark flicker of something flashes back at me when my fingers sink between my legs. His own hand moves to grip his cock but I shake my head and instead of challenging me, Carver smirks and drops his hand. There isn’t a hint of amusement, though. It only spurs me on to sink deeper, and when my fingers finally graze my clit, I let out the smallest moan. His echoes deeper from his chest and the sound makes my pussy clench and pulse with another groan spilling out of me.
Every moan and whimper as I work myself over, while never taking my eyes off of him, has his wolf shining through. Beacons in the dimly lit shadows and it’s eager and needy, but Carver doesn’t move an inch. He only watches, cock hard.
If I thought I could keep my wolf from being the little ho she is, I’d cross the room and go to my knees for him. One last time. One for the road.
But there’s no chance I make it out alive and unravaged.
When I finally give into the pleasure, coming good and hard with his name a whisper on my lips, he’s stoic as ever. There’s no denying his wolf, the alpha, is fully at the surface ready to clobber me. Take me down on this tile floor and fuck me until I’m the girl he remembers, before he chose the pack over her. Carver still doesn’t move. He only watches as I finish rinsing and turn off the water, eyes dark and tracking me as I cross the room and stop beside him.
I know giving him even the smallest glance will make what I’m about to do harder, but I can’t resist and take the risk. And I see an entire life tossed to the gutter, and the world burned to the ground between us. A bond that’ll remain unbreakable, yet oceans of distance between it and a love still burning so hot it’s burned us both.
“I guess some things never change.”
He clenches his jaw and nods. “Guess not.”
“Goodbye, Carver.”
“This isn’t over, Berkeley. Far from it.”
I snatch a towel from the table and start for the door. “It was over three years ago.”
Chapter Four
Carver
And here I thought a quick, hot shower would help me relax. That went right out the window about the time Berkeley switched shit up and decided she was in charge. Just like old fucking times and shit, my dick won’t let it go. Not like I didn’t scratch that itch and even then… it’s still hard and aching.
I make it back to the cafeteria and I find Cooper with his face nearly swimming in a bowl of stew. No surprise. None of us have had a good meal in two weeks, and it’s wearing on me.
“You two talk?” Cooper asks with a mouth full.
“I think it’s time we go home.”
“Sure, okay. Did you two talk?”
My fists clench and I glare at him. “Sure, okay.”
He laughs, shoveling more stew in his mouth. “God, I don’t miss this bullshit with you two.”
“There was never any bullshit.”
“Oh, no.” Cooper shakes his head slowly. “Never any bullshit with Car and Spitfire. Ever.”
“I hate you.”
“Ha.” He swallows another bite. “Something more than sure, okay must’ve gone on down in the showers for her to be watching you like that.”
I don’t need Cooper to tell me she’s watching me anymore than I have to look to prove it. I feel it. It’s a steady heat of pins and needles in all my limbs, through my chest. Like when her dirty little mind called to me without realizing it. She lured me right where she wanted me, it felt like electricity coursing through my veins.
But I search the room all the same to prove she isn’t the only one watching. Feeling. Fucking craving her like an addiction I thought I beat. One look and it proves how wrong I am.
“You should go talk to her and ya know, actually talk to her this time.”
“Well, it’s not like we were fucking…”
No, she well and fucked herself with her fingers buried in her pussy while she moaned my goddamn name.
“I’m pretty sure it would have sorted some of this shit out.”
Maybe back then but now, she’s nearly a stranger. Yet, I know everything about her.
“Carver, man, you’ve got about ten hours before her or her little chihuahua tosses us right back out and you lose the chance to have any meaningful conversation with her.”
There were a lot of different ways my head imagined reuniting with her. Every single one ended with her flinging herself into my arms in a fit of tears and a sorry. It never once ended with her scowling and glaring from across the room while I sat here wondering what the hell I did to piss her off.
Roof. Now.
Her voice invades my thoughts, making me jump and several of her people stare. A few whispers about shifters grab my attention from behind. Cooper exchanges glances with me.
Now, Carver.
Berkeley glances back at me from the door with an unreadable expression before disappearing.
“I’ll be back.”
Cooper chuckles. “Yeah, we’ll see.”
The asshole knows way too much to be helpful. He grew up right alongside Berkeley and me. My father might as well have raised him too. It was my old man; he had a soft spot for kids.
But Berkeley was personal. I guess it’s what happens when your best friend knocks up a human and can’t deal when the kid turns out to be a half-breed. My father raised her because she was different and raised her to remember it didn’t matter. What mattered was her heart and the hell with anyone who never looked past what she was to see it.
Tristan is watching me like a hawk as I head for the door and I don’t hold back my shit-eating grin. He hates me. There’s no doubt in my mind he’s seething, but knows I’m untouchable. He lays a finger on me and there will be no more sweet Berkeley pussy. I’m betting it’s the highlight of his life.
Berkeley is at the end of the hall, waiting by a door. She goes through it when she’s certain I’ve seen her. It’s three flights up to the roof and when I peer out the door there’s a tent set up. I’m not surprised. She’s already sprawled out on a blanket, staring up at the stars.
“Little lone wolf.”
She doesn’t react to the remark. “It’s quiet.”
“Little cold.”
Her eyes finally find mine. “I wouldn’t know, don’t get cold.”
I hesitate before lowering into the spot next to her. “Have a good setup here.”
She snorts and sits up. “Yeah, but it’s nothing if we can’t get the crops to recover or any life to settle back in the forests. Shits getting scarce. Everythi
ng is—”
“It’s the Ferals.”
“And my crops?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I’d say experiment with different crops, but today it’s not always practical.”
It’s taking what you can find and shit out of luck for the rest.
The first bout of calm settles between us with only silence. For a moment, nothing has changed. The world hadn’t ended. We didn’t lose each other. It’s me and her lying in the bed of my truck, watching the night pass, wondering if tonight was the night I put the mate mark on her. Our bond was already unbreakable. The mate mark felt like a formality the pack wanted us to fulfill. But then we didn’t have all the time in the world anymore. Or each other.
And now it’s the greatest obstacle between us and our broken bond.
“Why the pack over me, Carver? How, after everything, did it still end up being the pack?”
The moment vanished and fury chased behind it. “What?”
I stagger to my feet and pace away from her. What the hell is she talking about? I didn’t choose shit; she made a choice. Sure as hell not me.
“What do you mean, what? I waited, you didn’t show. Proving the pack would always come first for you.” She’s on her feet now and stalking my way. Her fists collide with my chest and shoves me back. “I waited, Carver!”
“And ditched early, Berkeley, don’t even try to pull this bullshit. You left me behind. Not the other way around.”
“You never showed. I sat in that bunker for two goddamn days—”
“We said three!”
“Two days and it was clear who you picked—”
“No!” I roared. “That is not what happened and fuck you for twisting it up to make yourself feel better for walking away from me.”
She broke the promise.
She changed the plan.
“I did not walk away—”
“There is no other excuse, Berkeley. You gave up and left. Not me.”
She scoffs, scrunching her nose up in the way that used to drive me crazy when she was all fire and ice, piss, and vinegar. My dick twitches and clearly it still drives me crazy, but I’m so pissed with her, if I tried to fuck her I’d be afraid of hurting her.