by Lola Keeley
I shoved some leaves in my mouth, buying myself a moment to think. “I said no, obviously.”
“Weird that he’d only move now, right before off-season. He should have asked in the summer.” Keiko knew more about the internal workings of our world than I ever would, so I nodded along. She’d probably be running the Global Tennis Association someday, and not as an honorary figurehead. “Does Antonia know?”
My stomach did an unhappy flip at the thought. If people completely unconnected to the situation already knew, it wouldn’t be long until Toni heard. Assuming she believed it, there wasn’t much hope for our friendship if she didn’t hear it from me first.
I glanced at the schedule on the screen in the corner. She was on court, which bought me a little time. I finished my lunch while Keiko talked about her winter plans in Osaka and made my excuses as soon as I could.
My player’s pass gave me access to the hospitality seating area, and on the first day not all the seats were occupied, making it easy to slip in for the remainder of Toni’s match. Xavi was in the front row of the box, and I frowned when even from behind I could see him gesturing. Toni wasn’t looking his way even between points, but it could still get her penalised for coaching during the game. I felt grateful for my mother’s silent glares all over again.
I found myself ignoring Toni’s opponent entirely, and for once I didn’t force myself to do anything different. I was exhausted from pretending I wasn’t interested, that Toni wasn’t attractive. So what if she was with the punk in front of me? Maybe she wouldn’t be once she learned what he was really like. That didn’t mean she was into women, or me specifically, but I was tired of giving up before I even got in the game. Let the disappointments come if they were coming; I could take it.
I leaned forward in my chair, sensing the cameras on me, and kept my face as neutral as possible until Toni won the point with a powerful smash. I cheered along with the crowd and let the world speculate why.
All too soon she had won the second set and was striding off court after the requisite handshakes. I slipped out and through the restricted area to meet her in the space actors would call backstage. For the moment, Toni still looked pleased to see me, so I rode that good luck and tagged along with her to the changing area.
“Thought you’d be back at the hotel for a swim by now,” she said. “Or maybe you should try your luck with a massage again?”
“Ha ha,” I replied. “No, I saw you were on after and I wanted to cheer you on. Say thanks for New York.”
“No match tomorrow, we could head out tonight,” Toni suggested. “Everyone keeps saying you haven’t done Singapore until you’ve had the actual Singapore Sling at the Raffles bar.”
I scrunched my nose. “It’s a little touristy, but if you want. The hotel itself is beautiful. I stayed there one year.”
“You’re the one who wants to be a tourist. Any more thoughts on Mexico?”
Having opened her locker, Toni started unzipping her tracksuit top. Oh crap. I hadn’t really thought this through. It was one thing to admire from afar, but I’d always walked the tightrope when it came to communal spaces. Nobody wanted to be that predatory lesbian. So although it was temptation in a very real sense, I turned my back on Toni so she could change.
Clearly, her boundaries were not in the same place as mine. Once she had her T-shirt off and thrown in a laundry bag, she came around in front of me to ask again, this time in just her sports bra and skirt. Fine. I probably wasn’t going to combust. If possible, she looked even more gorgeous, or it was the glow of winning that looked so good on her. Her hair was in a sort of side-braid, which would have annoyed the hell out of me on court, but it seemed to work for her.
“Hello?” She waved a hand in front of my face. “Mexico? Even just for a week, I’m not suggesting you give up all your time.”
I realised in that moment I couldn’t burden her with the Xavi news. One way or another, it was going to drive a wedge between us, and I just couldn’t bear the thought. If the rumours reached Toni, I had every right to deny them if I wanted. Xavi would certainly do the same to save his relationship with her.
Not that I felt great about the choice, but I found myself saying, “Sure, just let me know the dates and the airport. I’ll get it sorted out. You don’t mind playing tour guide?”
“Not at all. Doesn’t a week of great food sound perfect? Quiet places to read and sleep and just do nothing if you want. Or we can go out on the lake! Have some adventures maybe.” Toni bounced back over to her locker, fuelled on pure enthusiasm again. She came back with a towel in one hand, her shoes and socks gone this time. “I need to shower, but can we ride back to the hotel together maybe? Make some plans.”
“Of course. I’ll have Parisa fix everything up once you fill me in. One condition, though.”
“Name it.”
“If you’re giving me somewhere to stay, I’m paying for your flight. We can even go straight from here.”
I knew Toni wasn’t getting the best treatment from her federation, and we all paid most of our expenses out of pocket. This way I could treat her to first class, which was the only bearable way to do long haul after a season like this. The thought of maybe getting to do something nice for someone I actually cared about made earning this money seem worth it. I felt a surge of renewed lust for winning, like I was just starting.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s not a pride thing or whatever. I just really like to balance things out. I’ll even use my miles if it’s less…whatever.”
“Well, I’m only just back to making real money, so I think I’ll take you up on that. If you’re sure?”
I nodded. “Go, shower, so we can get out of here.”
She walked away, and I closed my eyes. If I concentrated very hard on my breathing, I could convince myself I wasn’t picturing what she might look like under the spray.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
While I was relieved to take the finals trophy and end the season ranked number one, I was more pleased that Toni made the semi-finals. Her game had been improving by leaps and bounds, and she’d been watching all the other top players in their matches too, ever the willing student.
Parisa had been confused when I asked her to fix up travel plans for Mexico, and then she did the same mental mathematics as Celeste to work out why.
“Elin, are you dating this girl?”
“What? No! We’re just friends. Honestly, Parisa. You of all people should know I’m perfectly capable of being friends with straight girls.”
She held up her hands. “I know, I do know that. It’s just I’ve got some crazy exclusive offers for you here, and you’re saying the one vacation you want is a week at someone’s grandma’s house?”
“It might be good for me,” was the only answer I had. “Anyway, we can’t go straight from here because Toni is in Spain first for some charity event. I’m heading home to LA as planned, but these are the dates I want to be in Mexico. I told Toni I was arranging her flight too, so get her something connecting via Madrid, I guess? I’ve written down when she can leave, and I think we’ll arrive fairly close together.”
“Elin—”
“Can we just do the thing without all the questions? I know I’ll get it from my mother, but I really don’t want to make your life more difficult, I promise.”
Parisa shrugged and started tapping on her tablet screen. I really would have been lost without her. I’d have to start thinking about that when it came to retiring. No doubt I’d still need an assistant, at least at first, but nothing like this level of organising and running my life. I’d be staying in one place a lot more for a start. I felt dizzy just thinking about it, that it could really happen sooner rather than later. Could Parisa tell? She didn’t seem worried.
“Leave it with me,” she said in the same comforting way she always did. “But you’re tellin
g your mother that you’re not going to Sweden this year.”
When my plane touched down in Guadalajara, I realised it had all been worth it. Arguing with my mother, not seeing my dad until closer to Christmas, even the continued radio silence from Alice that hurt more than it should.
If everything had gone to plan, Toni would already be landed and waiting for me somewhere in arrivals. I missed the whole private-jet thing, I could admit that, but first class from LAX hadn’t exactly been slumming it. I grabbed my cabin bag and thanked the cabin crew as they let our section disembark first.
After that everything was a blur until I saw her, Starbucks cup in hand and earphones in. With her head down over whatever book she was reading, I had the chance to observe Toni for a long minute or two before she noticed me. My knees had a funny little moment when she finally looked up and smiled.
What was that annoying romcom about people and airports and everyone was sort of extremely English? It felt a little something like that.
“Wow, you really can travel light.” Toni greeted me with one of her hugs that felt like she might squeeze the life out of a person. In board shorts and a scrappy tank top, she could have been any other gorgeous person on vacation here. Her skin had darkened further, from her time in Spain presumably, and her eyes twinkled with a relaxed kind of amusement that I found myself craving.
I had been true to my word and brought just one case and one bag. It had felt strange not to pack twenty pairs of shoes and multiple racquet bags, but it was a kind of strange I thought I could get used to.
“I rented a car, because we won’t get around too well without our own wheels,” said Toni. “I already got the keys, so unless you need anything in here?”
“Is the Starbucks on the way to the car?”
She nodded, hoisting her own backpack over one shoulder and wheeling her case that was slightly smaller than my own. Something in me liked the near symmetry of it. We looked coordinated, almost like, well, a couple. “Let’s go.”
I was expecting some compact car. Somehow that was all I ever pictured for rentals. Instead, Toni had rented a Jeep, one with a soft top that she instantly turned down with the press of a button. I sipped my iced coffee and slipped into the passenger seat.
“Don’t judge me for using SatNav,” she warned. “I know where I’m going, but I don’t drive it myself very often. My abuela will be psyched we’re making it for dinner too.”
“I don’t think I can judge—it’s not like I know the way. Is it far?”
“Forty-five minutes, maybe an hour in traffic.”
That I could definitely handle. I settled back, sunglasses on. “Driver picks the music,” I said, the cardinal rule of my house growing up. My dad had always tortured us with jazz and my mother with sports shows presented by rude men mostly interested in football. Toni, to my relief, picked some kind of pop music. I bobbed my head vaguely in time to the music and found myself enjoying the scenery once we escaped the confines of the airport’s seemingly endless parking lots.
“Can I suggest something?” Toni asked as we made short work of the highway.
“You’re in control of the car and I don’t know where I am, so… I guess you can suggest anything you like?”
Toni laughed at me, and I found I quite liked that. “No, but I thought maybe you deserved a real vacation. Shall we make a deal? No shop talk, all week. Abuela doesn’t really follow it, beyond knowing if I win things and I’m making enough money. I thought it might do us both good.”
It was something no one had ever suggested to me before.
“That sounds kind of perfect,” I admitted. “I’ve been trying to pick up some Spanish in my downtime, so it would be nice to talk about normal things with normal people for a few days.”
“Well, this part of Mexico is pretty popular with Americans and Canadians. You won’t have to suddenly get fluent or anything. But good, tennis is off the table until we leave. This is gonna be fun.”
I hadn’t known exactly what to expect, despite my best attempts to snoop online. The Cortes family residence was set too far back from the road to show up on maps.
The long and winding driveway brought us to a gorgeous structure, a two-storey white building with balconies at almost every window and an inviting turquoise-blue pool in the courtyard. A part of me wanted to drop my bags at my feet and dive right in.
The torrent of Spanish was music to my ears, and every time Toni or her grandmother addressed me in English, I gave the most expansive answers I could think up on the spot. I got the whistle-stop tour of the property, and while I had been picturing a house full of aunts, uncles, and cousins, I was surprised to hear that for the most part, Maria lived alone. A slight woman, she had none of Toni’s height or muscular build. On seeing a picture of her four strapping sons, including Toni’s dearly missed father, I could see where her natural athlete’s build had come from.
“Elin, por favor, my home is yours for as long as you stay. Anything you need, you just tell me. Or have this lazy girl get it for you.” She gave Toni a playful slap on the arm. “I have my work, but you two must relajar, okay?”
And wow, did we relax.
The courtyard and its immaculate gardens were well-shaded by cypress-like trees, giving us an oasis of privacy only interrupted occasionally by the gardener or some insects that got a little rowdy. Like teenagers with the house to ourselves, we quickly discarded going sightseeing at first, opting to lounge by the pool with the stack of books we’d each brought with us, listening to the CDs and boom box that Toni had unearthed from someone’s room. She found everything from salsa to Beethoven, via some truly awesome nineties pop that I somehow had retained all the words to.
I started my second day with a long leisurely swim, already being in the habit with my hip recovery. It wasn’t quite the same as my own pool at home with its view out over the Hollywood Hills, but it was pretty special in its own way. Before the sun had fully risen, I was doing my lengths, and a sleepyhead Toni joined me about halfway through.
She stopped when I did, clearly more interested in keeping pace than racking up a fixed number of lengths. Maria called to us from the patio that she’d bring breakfast outside. The thought of some good strong coffee was the only thing that could have gotten me out of the water at that point.
Toni clambered out first, basically hoisting herself out on strong arms and ignoring the ladder altogether. I did the same, keen not to be outdone even if my biceps and triceps were burning lightly from a long swim. I noticed her scar then, just to the left of her spine. Before we pulled on our towelling robes to sit for breakfast, I found myself reaching out to trace it.
To her credit she didn’t jump or even flinch.
“I wondered when you’d notice,” she said. “From my back surgery. It’s the only reason I made it back to playing. My surgeon was a miracle worker. Abuela here keeps telling me she prayed for him. So she gets all the credit.”
“I knew it was bad, but that sounds…”
“Yeah. It wasn’t just being able to play at that point. Everything was on the line—being able to walk normally, any chance of having kids… Way too much hanging in the balance for my liking.”
“Wow, that’s insane,” I replied. “Is that something you’re planning? Having kids, I mean?”
Toni shrugged. “I figure there’s time when I retire. No way I’m taking time out voluntarily now. And y’know, I always wanted to do it with someone else, if I found the right one.”
“So Xavi isn’t on the baby-daddy list?”
That made Toni’s eyebrows shoot up, and I rubbed my palms on my robe, worrying I’d messed up by mentioning him. She had to have at least considered it if they’d been together a while, surely?
“You mean as a donor?”
“What?”
“What?”
“Elin, do you think I’m sleeping with my c
oach?” Toni seemed to be processing fast, looking at me as though I might actually be stupid. Her voice rose as she continued. “Where did you get that idea?”
“It’s what everyone says when I mention your name!” I protested. “And you two are pretty close. He’s always with you.”
“Because some of us don’t have a ten-person team every time we step out of the house,” Toni replied, and I thought she was teasing at first, but there was a definite edge to her words. “He runs a lot of interference with the federation for me. He’s done the circuit himself, so he knows what’s non-negotiable.”
“I’m sorry, I just assumed.” A little bubble of hope was rising in my chest.
“I thought you’d know better than to listen to rumours, is all,” Toni said. “He’ll laugh when I tell him, though.”
That gave me a fresh stab of guilt about the rumours that had been doing the rounds in Singapore. It was the perfect opening to confess about Xavi shopping his coaching services to me, and probably other players, but the words died on my tongue as I realised it would ruin our holiday, which had been close to perfect so far.
“So, uh, babies?” I tried to change the subject back onto safer ground.
“Someday, sure. Sooner if I don’t have to carry a baby myself.” Another clue? Or was she talking about surrogacy? “What about you, Ms Larsson? Will the goddess of tennis be giving the world any… What’s a baby god? Godlet?”
“I don’t know if that’s a word,” I answered. “But sure, one day. I’ve been thinking about it more and more lately. Celeste, she wasn’t interested, but I like to think that with the right person… Hell, I could do it myself. Like you said, I have the ten-person team, right?”
“I don’t think Parisa signed on for diapers, somehow,” Toni said.
Maria came out with breakfast then, the coffee pot and mugs a welcome sight. “Morning, girls. I’ve made molletes.” I wasn’t familiar with the dish, but everything we’d eaten so far had been delicious, so instead of micromanaging every calorie and gram of fat, I nodded in appreciation. Maria set the heavy tray down, and Toni got up to help her grandmother, the delicious scents of tomato and some spices wafting ahead towards me. My stomach rumbled gratefully.