True Loves (A Collection of Firsts)

by Michelle A. Valentine

  I touch her arm. “Who cares what people think? If you’re into him, and he treats you well, that’s all that matters, right?”

  She sighs. “I know, you’re right.”

  For the next hour I follow my cousin around, attempting to learn everything I can. As we work, I relentlessly try to extract more information about her and Brock, but she’s tight-lipped about the situation, still not ready to share more with me yet, so I respect her boundaries. Quinn’s great at her job, and she’s a thorough teacher, but all the information she’s throwing at me is enough to make my head spin. Who knew there was so much more to this job than just memorizing menus and bringing customers their correct food orders?

  “Dinner rush will start soon. Andy wants you to take a few tables tonight since we had a waitress quit,” Quinn says as she wipes down a table. “Any guesses why she quit?”

  I snicker after I glance over at the bar. “Enough said.” Alice is busy flirting with a couple customers sitting at the bar and doesn’t notice my stare. “Is she always so mean?”

  Quinn laughs. “It’s okay to call her a bitch, Anna. Uncle Simon isn’t here to bust your chops.”

  “You’re right.” I nod and laugh with her. “She’s a major bitch.”

  She gives my arm a nudge. “Atta girl. The sooner you learn not to take her shit, the better off you’ll be. Andy doesn’t listen to her half as much as she thinks. He only puts up with her because he fucks her from time to time when he and his wife go through a dry spell.”

  “Eww.”

  The image of my new boss and Alice getting it on turns my stomach a bit. Andy isn’t exactly hideous, but not the type I would figure Alice to go for. “Why does she do that?”

  Quinn shrugs. “Alice is a slut. She sleeps with anyone she thinks has a little bit of money.”

  I grimace. “How can she allow them to use her like that?”

  She gives me a pointed look. “She’s using them just as much as they’re using her. Have you seen what she drives? No one can afford a brand-spanking new Mustang on our salary. Those things are like thirty grand.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “Some guy gave her that just for sleeping with him?”

  Quinn laughs. “Sex done right can make a man do just about anything. Your vagina is your strongest weapon—always remember that. It can make any man putty in your hands.” She grins when something catches her eye. “Speaking of man-putty, I see a delectable piece of man-meat now. I think it’s time to give you your very first customer.”

  I scrunch my brow as I try, unsuccessfully, to read her face. Quinn nods toward the bar and I point my gaze in that direction just in time to see Xavier take a seat. Alice immediately dashes over to him, leaning across the bar so he can get a direct shot of her cleavage down her v-neck t-shirt.

  “You better go save him before Alice tries to stake her claim,” Quinn says.

  “I can’t go over there. She’ll kill me,” I complain. “Besides, he might not even be here to see me.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Get real, Anna. Of course he’s here for you. Now, go get your man.”

  I clutch the pad tightly in my hand as I walk over to where Alice is attempting to engage Xavier in some flirty conversation. Her gaze immediately cuts toward me, and I swear a chill runs down my spine as I take in her fiery stare. I swallow hard, silently praying I’m not making a total fool of myself and that he actually might want to talk to me again. After the way he rode off last night, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see him again.

  The moment his blue eyes meet mine, my breath catches. It’s almost enough to stop me dead in my tracks. I can’t read whether or not he’s glad to see me, but I take another couple of steps forward to reach the end of the bar.

  “You need something, newbie?” Alice says with ice in her voice. “You know this is my section, right. I’m sure Quinn explained the boundaries to you.”

  I nod, biting my lip at the same time. Going up against Alice for Xavier’s attention wasn’t exactly the plan, but I can’t back away without letting her know that he’s not hers for the taking. Which makes no sense because he’s not exactly mine either.

  I shift my nervous gaze to Xavier, and I notice he’s no longer looking at me, but glaring at Alice, who is oblivious as she stares at me through narrowed eyes. He hadn’t missed the snide tone in her voice either.

  Xavier pushes back from the bar, and Alice flicks her gaze in his direction. “Looks like I sat in the wrong section then.”

  Xavier takes my hand off the bar and pulls me behind him, leaving Alice to stand there with her mouth agape as we head toward Quinn’s section. I risk a glance back, and she’s glaring at me.

  Uh-oh. I think I’ve just made an enemy.

  Quinn’s mouth twists as she tries to hide her smile as we approach. “Funny seeing you here, X.”

  He gives her a slow nod like they’ve spoken before. “Quinn.”

  Xavier stops at the corner booth. “Is this your section?”

  “Yes. It’s one of the only four tables Andy gave me to start with today,” I answer, and he slides into the seat. He raises his eyebrows and gestures toward the seat across from him. I shake my head. “I can’t. We just came off a break.”

  He grabs the menu from the end of the table. “So, what’s good here?”

  I pull my pad and pen from my back pocket. “Burgers seem to be really popular today.”

  Xavier folds the menu and says, “I’ll take three of them and a water.”

  I lift my brow as I write that down and repeat the same question I’ve heard Quinn repeat all day. “Okay, do you want some pink or no pink in your hamburgers?”

  “Some pink, but I don’t need anything on them, including the buns.”

  I laugh as I think about what he ordered last night when he took me to the diner. “All part of your bulking diet?”

  He smiles, and I swear my knees grow a little weak. “You’re a quick learner. You don’t need a job, do you?”

  I tear a sheet off the notepad and stuff it back into my pocket. “And work for you? No way. Besides, I think I’m going to like it here.”

  His large hand drapes over his heart. “That stings, beautiful. I thought we were becoming such good friends.”

  “We are friends and I want it to stay that way, which is why I could never work for you. I have a feeling you’re a diva, and I’d be suppressing murderous tendencies before the week was over,” I tease.

  He smirks. “I’m far from a diva.”

  “You say that now, but I think having two people constantly working for you makes you seem a little needy. So, like I said, DEE-VAH.”

  “If you worked for me, I promise you’d like it, and it’d be a whole lot more fun and lucrative than the little service gig you’ve landed yourself here.”

  I think about the fifteen dollars in tips Quinn has shared with me sitting in my pocket, and the minimum wage that’s wracking up on the clock, and I can’t help but be curious. “How much more?”

  “The PA position pays fifty grand a year,” he says matter-of-factly. “And if you want the job, it’s yours.”

  Oh, that’s tempting. Working with Xavier every day, getting to stare at him as much as I want while I get paid well for it—that’s a single girl’s dream job. It sounds perfect, but I’m sure that’s what Deena thought when he offered her the same position…right before she slept with him. And look where that got her. I can’t allow that to be me.

  I won’t allow that to be me.

  I slide the slip of paper between my fingers to distract myself from staring into those baby-blue eyes of his. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think I can.”

  He drums his fingers on the table in front of him, and it’s almost as if he read my mind because he asks, “Is it because of Deena?”

  My gaze jerks up to meet his. “No.”

  The corner of his mouth pulls down into a one-sided frown. “It wouldn’t be like that between us, you know.”

  I twist my lips. “Is that wha
t you told her when she started too?”

  For some strange reason the thought of him with another woman causes a painful burn in the pit of my stomach, and I can’t stand looking at him a second longer.

  I turn to walk away, but his hand darts out and grabs my wrist, holding me in place. “I would never treat you like that. Deena knew what she was getting into. She knew there would never be anything real between us, and she chose to give it up to me anyway. Our agreement with one another was crystal clear.”

  I flinch. “So that makes it okay?”

  “She consented, Anna. I never promised her a wedding ring.” I can hear the defensiveness in his voice.

  “But you’ll promise me one?” The question leaves my mouth so quickly, it even surprises me.

  He lets go of my hand. “A ring is something I’d never promise anyone. I’m not the marrying type.”

  I know it’s stupid, but the small hope that had built inside of me that something between Xavier and me would eventually happen—no matter how much I fought it—just got crushed to smithereens. I know he’s a player, and even Quinn says the tabloids link him to dating several women at the same time, but I can’t snuff out this stupid connection I feel with him. But if it’s never going to be serious between us, I wish he’d just leave me alone and quit tormenting me with the idea that he might actually see me as more than just an easy lay.

  I swallow hard, attempting to steady my voice. “I’ll have your food out to you as soon as it’s ready.”

  “Anna…”

  I don’t turn around because I know if I look at him, I’ll crack. Knowing you’ll never have something you really want is a terrible feeling, and something I wouldn’t wish on my own worst enemy.

  Chapter 8

  After working eight hours, and standing up pretty much the entire time, my feet are on fire, I’m exhausted, and I lay my head back against the headrest as Quinn drives us home.

  “It’ll get easier, you know—the more you do it. Your body will adjust after a week or so,” she tells me.

  I sigh as I finish counting the tip money that’s in my lap. “I hope so. It seems like so much work for fifty dollars in tips.”

  “I told you that I’d share the money X left. I still can’t believe he left a five hundred dollar tip. That guy has it bad for you.” She waggles her eyebrows. “What happened between the two of you, anyhow? I thought you two were getting along after hanging out last night?”

  I shove the loose strand of hair that has fallen fom my ponytail behind my ear. “I don’t know. We’re friends, I guess, but—”

  “You’re so horny for him it clouds your judgment?”

  “No!”

  Quinn rolls her eyes as she turns onto the next street. “Oh, come on, Anna. This is me you’re talking to. It’s okay that a man—a mighty sexy one, I might add—turns you on. I don’t see how you’ve gone this long without allowing him to ravage you. He obviously wants to.”

  I pinch my bottom lip between my teeth. While I don’t want to admit exactly how much I think of him doing that very thing to me, she’s right. Even after he’s made it perfectly clear that there would be no long-term future for us, I still can’t believe I’m entertaining the idea of giving into Xavier. I just don’t want to get hurt.

  “I see that look,” Quinn says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  I grimace and shake my head. “I don’t have a look.”

  She raises her eyebrows. “Yes, you do. And I’m telling you right now, Anna, you’ve got to learn to let go of all of those preconceived notions that sex is bad. The entire world is not going to judge you for wanting X. Hell, half of the world wants a piece of him for themselves! Be young. Have a fling. He’s sex on a stick!”

  “Quinn!” I scold her.

  “No, Anna, fuck that. I want you to admit to not only me, but yourself, out loud that it’s okay to want to have crazy, premarital sex with a bad-boy.”

  “What?” I ask, completely flabbergasted. “Who tells someone to say that kind of stuff?”

  She grins as she pulls up to the curb in front of her house. “A best friend, that’s who. Now say it.”

  “Quinn—”

  “Anna, so help me, if you don’t grow a pair of lady nuggets right now and admit out loud how you really feel, I will ship you back to Uncle Simon tonight.”

  “This is so ridiculous,” I huff.

  She folds her tan arms across her chest. “Do it, or we are not getting out of this car.”

  “You’re relentless.” I pinch the bridge of my nose as I sigh. Might as well just give in. “Fine. I want to have…”

  She gestures for me to continue. “Crazy…”

  “Crazy, premarital sex with a bad-boy. There, I said it. Happy?”

  She shakes her head. “Say it one more time with feeling, and admit that you want that bad-boy to be wrestling’s sex god, X.”

  I rub my face. This is freaking painful, but I know she won’t give in until she wins. That’s the thing about Quinn—she never gives up if she believes she’s right.

  I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “I want to have sex with Xavier.” The moment those words leave my lips, the mad rush of shame that I know I should feel for thinking such things isn’t there. It’s really quite the opposite. It feels good to finally get that off my chest because for the past couple of days, that’s all that’s been on my mind.

  Quinn claps her hands and squeals. “Don’t you feel better?”

  I smile. “Yeah, I actually do. I think you need to go back to school and get a psychology degree. How did you know that would help me?”

  “I’m a student of human nature. I knew you wanted to let that man into your pants the moment I saw you wrestle to get your purse back from him.”

  “Ugh. That! He can be so frustrating. He’s gotten under my skin so quick.”

  She laughs as she opens her door. “And that, Anna, is how I know you like him. There’s a fine line between love and hate. They both cause your body to react in a similar fashion. Each of those emotions creates such intense feelings that one can easily be mistaken for the other.”

  “I never said I hated him. He just…I don’t know.” I sigh as I get out, and we head into the house together.

  “A guy like X is new territory for you. While I highly advise a fun fling with a bad-boy, I don’t recommend catching any feelings for him whatsoever. Look at the mess between Brock and me.”

  My pesky curiosity is back in full force. “What did he do to upset you, anyhow?”

  She shakes her head as she slides her key into the door. “Let’s not talk about him. Brock and I are history. No need to hash out boring details about something that’s over.”

  “Okay,” I agree, allowing her completely off the hook. I should press her like she just pressed me about Xavier, but I have the feeling she isn’t ready to talk about whatever is going on between them yet. So, for now, she gets a pass, but if tension keeps up between them at work then she’s going to have to fill me in. If Brock has done something horrible to her, I want to hate him right alongside her, not keep on delivering messages from him.

  The moment we step inside, I hear Aunt Dee call us from the kitchen, “Hey, girls! How was work?”

  I toss my purse on the counter as I walk into the kitchen. “It was great. Everyone was really nice.”

  Aunt Dee glances up from the pudding she’s making on the stove. “Even Alice?”

  “Well…” I grimace. “Everyone but her.”

  “Aye, when will that chica ever learn to lighten up? Even evil needs a holiday.”

  I laugh. “You sound like Quinn.”

  “Ah, correction. You mean Quinn sounds like me.”

  Quinn struts into the kitchen in her pajamas, raking her fingers through her long, dark locks. “I sound just like what?”

  “Me,” my aunt clarifies.

  Quinn pulls some grapes from the fridge and pops one into her mouth. “Definitely not. You won’t catch me making pudding at nearly m
idnight. You’re a weirdo.”

  Aunt Dee chuckles as she pours the pudding into a glass bowl. “A creative mind is always a strange one, honey.”

  Quinn pulls herself up on the counter and dangles her long legs as she eats her grapes. “Ma, guess what? I already got Anna to admit she wants to shag Mr. Sexy.”

  My mouth instantly drops open, and Quinn winks at me before she pops another grape into her mouth. I’m never going to get used to how open she is with Aunt Dee.

  “Oh, good choice Anna. I peeked outside when he dropped you off last night. He’s a handsome one, that one is.” Aunt Dee licks the spoon before tossing it into the sink. “When are you seeing him again?”

  My shoulders sag. “I don’t know. He came into Larry’s today, but things didn’t go so well.”

  She tilts her head and pokes out her bottom lip. “I’m sorry, baby. Maybe it’ll all work out. If he’s smart, he’ll see what a catch you are and come to his senses.”

  “That’s the thing. I’m pretty sure that’s all he wants—to catch me.”

  Aunt Dee walks across the kitchen and stops in front of me. Her dainty hand pats my cheek. “I wouldn’t be so sure. A man like him doesn’t have to work hard for women. He sees something special in you, or else he wouldn’t have put in this much effort.”

  I give her a sad smile. “He told me he doesn’t get serious with women.”

  “Maybe he’s not ready to allow himself to have feelings for you, but if he gets to know you, he’ll feel different. You’re impossible not to love.” She kisses my cheek, and for the first time in a long time, I feel unconditionally loved. There’s no judgment from her when I tell her about my issue with Xavier. Instead, she encourages me to hold on to hope. “Anna, please at least think about calling your father. He misses you.”

  I nod even though I have no intentions of speaking to him yet. “Okay.”

  She pats my cheek. “Goodnight, girls.”

  The moment my aunt locks herself in her room, the unmistakable sound of a motorcycle rumbles to a stop outside.