I shudder as his mouth covers my shoulder. “Your pussy is like fucking paradise.”
He growls and lightly bites my shoulder, sliding his cock into me again and again.
I cry out his name followed by a “Yes.” I can’t believe this is finally happening. I feel the same tingle return, and I can tell I’m getting close myself. “You feel so good.”
“Our bodies were made for each other.”
The distinct slaps echo around the hotel room as his thrusts pick up pace.
My core clenches around him greedily, trying to hold him deep inside. “Xavier…”
“Hold on, baby. I want to come with you.” Xavier pulls out of me and begins sliding his cock against my clit. “Fuck.”
The repetitive attention to my clit sends me over the edge just as Xavier groans in my ear and comes on the outside of my folds, slicking my sensitive skin.
Xavier presses his lips to mine. “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.”
And I smile at him.
Because I feel the exact same way.
Chapter 16
I stare up at the clock and panic washes through me. It’s almost time for her to return. If she comes back and finds this, it won’t be good.
I shake Mama’s shoulders, desperate for her to wake from the deep sleep she’s put herself into once again. “Please, Mama. Wake up. Grandmother will be home any minute. Please.”
Even I can hear the pleading in my voice as I attempt to choke back tears. “She can’t find you like this.”
I yank until I’m finally able to pull her fragile body up a bit. The bones in her shoulders press against my small arms as I cradle her against me. Mama’s head lolls from side to side as I continue to shake her.
Footsteps on the porch cause my heart to leap up into my throat.
It’s too late now.
Keys jingle as the lock turns and the door is pressed open. I glance around my grandmother’s living room, hoping to find an escape route, but I know that even if I find one, it won’t do me any good.
I’ve got no place to go.
Grandmother’s eyes lock onto me the moment she shuts the door behind her. The flowered dress she always wears to church on Sundays still appears perfectly pressed. I can’t look her in the eye. It scares me too much. There’s nothing but hatred for me in them, so I do my best to look everywhere—anywhere—but directly into her eyes.
I concentrate on a wisp of dark hair poking out from her low-set bun under her hat as I attempt to explain myself. “I’m sorry. She just—I couldn’t stop her.”
Grandmother sets her purse down on the coffee table and approaches the spot in the middle of the floor where I’m still clinging to my unresponsive mother. The moment she begins smacking the bible she carried in against her hand, a chill runs down my spine.
“I told you to watch her. Is that so hard?” she asks while she begins circling around me. “You had one job, and you couldn’t even do that right.”
My entire body jolts when she lands the first unexpected blow to the back of my head with the book. Instinctively, I throw up my hands up to protect myself. “I’m…mmm…ssss…sorry.”
“Listen to that stutter. Every time I touch you with the holy word you do that. You know why, boy?” she taunts before she hits me with it again on the side of the face.
I close my eyes and silently beg for Mama to wake up. She’s the only one who can stop this now.
“Answer me!” Grandmother shouts.
“Because I’m evil,” I whisper, knowing that’s what she wants to hear.
She shoves the hard spine of the book into the back of my head, pushing it forward. “That’s right, you little demon spawn. Look at how you poisoned my baby. She wasn’t like this until she ran off and got pregnant with you, by that monster.”
The mention of the father I’ve never known hurts worse than the physical abuse she’s inflicting on me. I’ve asked Mama about him, but all she’s ever said was that he wasn’t from around here, and she only spent one day with him, before he left town, and was never heard from again.
It would be amazing to just have a name.
“Pick her up,” Grandmother orders.
I stare down at my mother, who is much bigger than I am. To lift her would be an impossible task. She’s not going to like my answer.
“I can’t.”
Whack!
A gasp leaves my mouth as she smacks me hard across my face. The metallic taste of blood coats my tongue, alerting me to the fact that she’s just getting warmed up.
“I’m only eight, Grandmother. I’m not strong enough.”
Her mouth twists as she levels her icy blue stare on me. With one hand, she grabs my shirt collar and yanks me to my feet, causing me to drop my mother on the floor with a loud thud in the process.
Her fingers thread into my shaggy hair, and she yanks my head back so she can gaze upon my face. “You better call on the devil to help you lift her, because if you don’t, I will kill you.”
She lets go and pushes me away from her. “Now, lift!”
I let out a shaky breath and squat down next to my mother. I hook my arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders. My shoulders tense as I yank with all my might. Relief floods me the second I’m able to pull Mama up off the floor. My fingers dig into her chilled flesh as I hold on with all my might.
“Put her on the couch. She needs to sleep it off.”
I take a staggering step forward, followed by another, amazed at my own strength and my ability to carry her. Even though my arms burn under her weight, I refuse to let go. The pain is a welcome distraction from the beating I know I’m about to endure.
I lay her down gently and readjust the pillow under her head, pushing a lock of her dark hair away from her face. She looks so peaceful, it’s easy to forget everything she’s done to me when she’s like this. The worry that she won’t wake up far outranks any anger I feel toward her.
I’m jerked away from her by a firm grasp and shoved to the floor. “Keep your filthy hands off her!”
I hook my arms under my knees and remind myself to stay strong as Grandmother draws the bible in her hand back, ready to hit me yet again.
I close my eyes and hold my breath the moment she begins to swing.
A gasp so loud comes out of me it wakes me from my own sleep as throw my hands up to shield myself from the blow that isn’t real. My hands shake as I push my hair back from my face and attempt to calm my breathing. Sweat pours off me as I grip my head in my hands.
Why won’t these fucking dreams go away?
Anna sits up next to me, and even in the darkness I can see the concern in her eyes. She slowly reaches out her hand and touches my back and I flinch.
I can’t have her touching me—not now—not after having a nightmare like that.
I shove off the bed and instantly drop down on the floor. Push-ups come easy to me, but the burn I crave doesn’t come to me until I’ve counted at least fifty.
Anna scoots to the edge of the bed and gazes down at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Seventy-two. No. Seventy-three…” I continue on the only way I know how to get rid of the demons that lie in wait in my mind. Punishing my own body to near breaking point, just so I won’t feel anything else, usually provides relief.
I hate what remembering the past does to me.
It makes me a crazy fucking freak.
Anna throws her legs over the bed and lowers herself onto the floor next to me. She watches me intently for a moment before reaching over to lay her hand on mine as I continue doing push-ups.
The little gesture causes me to lose count, and I turn to stare at her as I continue. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to in order for me to understand that she cares about me. The small act of sticking by my side while I work my own shit out is enough.
This girl is special. I can see that now with certain clarity. But the problem still remains—I don’t deserve he
r. She’s too good for me. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes that, too, and leaves me. When that happens…it will kill me. I know it will.
I’m so fucking addicted. This will not end well for either of us, because I won’t know how to let her go.
Chapter 17
Xavier has been quiet today. He doesn’t seem upset or anything, just cautious around me. I’m sure what I witnessed last night wasn’t something he wanted me to see, but Lord knows I’m not going to force him to tell me what upset him. The last time I tried that, things got crazy.
I just don’t like seeing him hurting.
The car comes to a stop, and Jimmy hops out first, opening the door for Xavier and me to get out. I stare up at the huge brick arena that we’re about to enter. It reminds me a bit of a coliseum, and Xavier’s powerful presence imitates that of a gladiator about to enter for battle.
My eyes drift over to him. His dark hair is pushed back from his face while glasses shield his eyes from the evening sun. Xavier threads his fingers through mine as the security guards open the rear entrance doors for us.
A large black man with a completely bald head nods at Xavier. “What up, X. You ready for tonight, man?”
Xavier grins. “Razor won’t know what hit him, Freddy.”
Freddy laughs. “Funny, he just told me the same thing.” He marks something off the clipboard he’s carrying and jerks his head inside. “Come on. I’ll show you where the dressing room is.”
“Stick close to me in here. Backstage is chaotic, and I don’t want to lose track of you,” Xavier says as he tightens his grip on my hand and leads me inside.
I smile at him, wanting nothing more than to reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. “It’s going to be fine. Focus on your match. I’m not going anywhere.”
He nods and focuses straight ahead as we pass by a few men wearing Tension t-shirts with the word “crew” stitched onto them.
A few of the guys call out to Xavier as we head down a long white hallway. The crewmen zip around us, carrying assorted pieces of equipment and props, and even as an onlooker I can tell that every employee is under a time-crunch to make tonight’s show go off without a hitch.
The beefy security officer escorting us down the hall stops at the last door on the right. “You can wait in here with the other wives, miss.”
Xavier shakes his head. “No fucking way. Anna stays with me. I’m not throwing her into that snake pit alone, Freddy.”
Freddy sighs. “What did you expect, X? She can’t go back into the dressing room. The guys would flip their fucking shit.”
Xavier pulls his lips into a tight line as he stares into the room where all the wives are waiting. I follow his line of sight and spot Deena, wearing a slinky, red mini dress and one of the most evil grins I’ve ever seen.
I don’t like the idea of being alone with this woman, but I can’t allow Xavier to worry about that. He doesn’t need another problem in his life to deal with. I want to help him, not be a hindrance.
I squeeze his fingers. “I’ll be fine.”
His gaze snaps down to me. “Are you sure? I can have Jimmy—”
I shake my head. “Don’t worry, I can handle her. Go, do your thing. I’ll wait right here for you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. Now, go.” I nudge his arm.
Xavier bends down and presses his lips to mine. “Call me if there’s any problem.”
I stay in the doorway and allow my eyes to appreciate the view of his phenomenal ass. No longer do I have to wonder what having him would be like because now I know he really does earn the first part of his stage name.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Deena questions as she slithers up beside me. “He can make you feel so special while he’s using you. He’s so good, it’s easy to fall for the lie that he might actually care for you. That you’re special to him.”
I roll my eyes. “Give it up, Deena. He doesn’t want you anymore.”
Her blue eyes trail over my face as she appraises me. “That’s right because the two of you have a connection now? Is that what you think?”
I know I shouldn’t let her bother me—that she’s playing games with my head—but damn if that doesn’t sting. It’s like she knows exactly what to say in order to get to me.
“I almost feel sorry for you.”
I lift my chin. “You shouldn’t waste your time.”
She quirks an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”
“You’re the one that needs to get over it and move on. He’s done with you and your…‘relationship.’ It meant nothing to him. Get that through your head and butt out of our business.”
She narrows her eyes. “In a month from now, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I came over here to offer you some friendly advice—woman to woman.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “What’s that?”
She smirks. “Make friends with the other wrestlers, because maybe when he’s through with you, one of them might take you on, if you’re lucky. They’re all loaded.”
I curl my lip. “You disgust me.”
She laughs. “The innocent card works for you. Keep it up. It’s a great cover. I might have to actually use that one myself.”
Maybe I need to be more direct?
“Stay away from me.”
“I’ll stay away from you all right, but I can’t promise the same for your boyfriend. He has a hard time turning me down…as you well know.” She winks at me.
Blood boils in my veins. I’m not usually one to condone violence of any sort, but I would like nothing more than to throttle her. Pulling her hair and smacking that cocky look off her face would make me so happy, but I refuse to sink to her level.
I won’t allow her taunts to incite the reaction she wants.
When I don’t say a word, she laughs in my face and turns to walk into the hallway where the man I recognize from television as Xavier’s nemesis awaits. Assassin grins as he wraps his arm around Deena’s waist and kisses the side of her head. It’s almost like he’s pleased that she’s just been in here, pushing my buttons.
I take a deep breath and walk into the room. The walls are white, just like the hallway, and there are several tables set up with women and children sitting around them. Babies sit on their mother’s laps and bang their toys onto the blue tabletops while their mothers attempt to feed them.
There’s an empty seat next to one of the ladies with a toddler on her lap, and I make my way toward it. My fingers curl around the back of the chair, and the woman glances up at me with warm chocolate eyes and a kind smile, and for some reason I automatically feel at ease with her. The three other tables are filled with women chatting amongst themselves, but for some reason, this lady is alone like they are excluding her.
“Is this seat taken?” I ask.
“No.” She gestures toward the seat. “Have a seat.”
I return her smile with a polite one of my own. “Thank you. I’m Anna.”
She nods and lays down the spoon she was just feeding her daughter with before extending her hand to me. “I’ve heard about you. I’m Liv, Brian’s wife.”
I take her hand, curious as to exactly what she’s heard when remnants of her child’s lunch rub off onto my fingertips.
Liv grimaces. “Sorry about that. Here.” She hands me a napkin. “Do you have any?”
I take the napkin and begin to wipe the spaghetti sauce from my fingers. “Children? No. I’m not even married yet.”
Liv laughs and tosses her brown hair over her shoulder. “I wasn’t either, until last month.”
My eyebrows flick up in quick surprise. I know that having babies out of wedlock is a common practice these days, I’ve just never known anyone who’s done it.
“Is she…” Damn. How do I ask this question without sounding completely rude?
Fortunately, I don’t have to because she finishes for me. “Brian’s?”
I nod.
“Yes.” She hugs the little blon
d-haired child tighter against her and kisses the top of her head. “Acts just like him too. Ornery.”
“Anna meet Kami. Kami can you say hello to Miss Anna?”
Kami stares up at me with the same dark eyes that her mother has, but I can see a lot of Brian in her as well. “Helwo.”
“Good job,” Liv praises her.
The little girl giggles and squirms as her mom tickles her ribs before setting her down so she can play around on the floor with a couple of other small kids.
“She’s adorable,” I say as I watch the children play.
“Thanks. She can be a handful most days, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” Liv begins cleaning up the mess in front of her. “So you and X…are you all a couple? Brian wasn’t sure.”
My lips twist for a brief second. Xavier hasn’t come right out and said he’s my boyfriend or anything, but we’ve been attached at the hip for a little while now. I believe that would qualify us as an item. “Yes.”
“That’s good news. I was so excited when I heard he ditched Deena. She wasn’t the one for X, but she wouldn’t give up trying to sink her claws into him.”
I can’t help snickering. “Wow. Not a fan, huh?”
“Definitely not. It’s girls like her that give women in general a bad name. This room is full of them.” She gives me a pointed look, and I glance over at the other tables filled with women dressed a lot like Deena. “No matter how clear X made it that he didn’t want a relationship with Deena, she still tagged along with him, hoping he would give in and she’d find a way to weasel into his pocket.”
My thoughts automatically revert to Alice and what Quinn said about her. “I know another girl like her. She’s a bitch too. It must be a genetic trait with gold-diggers.”
Liv grins. “I like you. It’s about time X had someone like you. Being around a genuine woman will be good for him.”
“Thanks. I hope so.”
“I’m sure things will work out.”
At that second Kami begins to cry and Liv hops out of her seat to scoop the child into her arms. Liv cradles her little girl to her chest and speaks softly into her ear attempting to console her. She’s a good mother. I’ve only known her a few minutes, but there’s no mistaking how much she adores the little girl.
True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) Page 36