I’m guessing they must have some kind of lost property office here, so I take the elevator down to the basement and head through the corridors to the place I vaguely remember seeing on my induction tour of the building.
After a few unsuccessful attempts, I push open the door and find what I’m looking for as I see shelves groaning under the weight of supplies. Overalls, aprons and even an abandoned coat are like the finest treasure as I fall on them with relief.
Pulling a few out for size, I finally settle on a cleaner’s overall that falls just above my knee. At least it covers me a little more than Oliver’s hoodie and grabbing the coat, I’m pleased to note it’s not too big and rather warm, actually. It’s one of those padded jackets that most New Yorkers need against the cold weather and I snuggle into it, screwing my nose up at the faint smell of must that shows it could do with a freshener cycle in the washer.
Looking around, I grab a few more candles and then head off to find the executive washroom. I need to clean up a little if I’m ever to feel normal, and as I splash the water on my face, I stare back at a very changed woman.
This woman is a confused one because she doesn’t know what will happen next. I’m loving every minute of my time here, but at the back of my mind is the knowledge this is just a moment in time that will never be repeated.
Who knows, we may make it through a few dates and lots more sex, but I’m under no illusions men like that don’t commit to women like me.
The Proctors and Steeles of this world live a life we can only imagine having. Money, power, ivy league education and parties the likes of us never get invited to. They operate in a social circle that lets no one in, and I’m a fool if I think this is anything more than it is. Just the fact he entertains whores on Christmas is a red flag all by itself, but it doesn’t fit the man I’ve grown to know intimately.
As I try to tame my wild hair, I try to tame my expectations because I’m in doubt this will end and I will be the one battling to repair my shattered heart.
Sighing, I turn away and head back to make the coffee and pick up where we left off. If this is just a fleeting romance, then I should make the most of it and cry about it later when it all ends and I’m back in my role as a junior executive lusting after men I can never have.
I head back and the room is empty and I’m guessing Oliver is taking a moment to clean up as I did. Realizing I have his wash bag, I place the coffee on the large boardroom table, along with the musty coat and head down the hall to his office where I’m guessing he went.
I hear voices as I approach, so I hesitate before knocking. He is on the phone and I should give him a minute but I can’t help but listen in. What can I say, it’s way too tempting to pass up this chance to spy on him?
Just hearing his sexy voice is enough to send me delirious and I hear him laugh and say, “To be honest, Max, I’m having a great time. You know me, lock me in an office and I’ll entertain myself for hours.”
He pauses and I hear him agreeing with something, with the usual ‘mm’ and ‘yes’ that we all do. “So, how long before they clear the snow, have you heard?”
“Oh.”
He sounds a little disappointed and then laughs softly. “No, you’re fine, I think we can skip the annual visit this year, maybe next year, a double bubble perhaps.”
He pauses again and then laughs. “No, I don’t want a dominatrix Mrs. Claus. What the hell is that, anyway? No, consider yourself officially off the gift giving hook this year, you just owe me a bigger one next year.”
He laughs again and says, “Lucky you, Christmas in LA is always hot. I feel sorry for mom though, both her sons missing with only dad to entertain, they may kill each other.”
I feel physically sick as I tiptoe away, the tears burning as I realize the topic of conversation. That must have been his brother, and they were talking about his Christmas gram.
The tears burn as I feel like such a fool. This is all just a game to him. Something, or someone, to do to pass the time. He’s not interested in me—at all, just the fun I provide. I should have known really. After all, men like Oliver Steele don’t settle for junior account managers that work for him. I feel such an idiot and then I hear, “Hey, I’m dying for that coffee.”
Plastering a smile on my face, I say, “It’s in the boardroom, I was just going to bring you the wash bag in case you needed it.”
The fact I was walking in the opposite direction obviously escapes him and he smiles gratefully.
“Thanks, I’ll duck in here and freshen up, I won’t be long. I’ve got something for you.”
He winks and takes the wash bag from my hands and turns and walks away and it strikes me he didn’t even notice I had changed clothes. I still have his hoodie over the apron and the coat is back in the fake log cabin, but still, he was so quick to get away and now I know why. Oliver isn’t really that into me after all, unless you count wanting to be inside me and now I know where I stand, I should just suck it up and wait for the snow to melt so, I can return to my rightful place, several floors below.
22
Oliver
I could have done without the phone call from my brother. It’s not that I didn’t want to hear from him, it just reminded me that life outside this bubble I’m in is very different. For some reason, I didn’t want to mention my Christmas fairy. It’s so important to me to keep this day special and I don’t want to have to explain her to anyone else. As soon as he started talking about the Christmas gram, I felt irritated. I don’t ever want to see one again because they won’t be her—my fairy. He wouldn’t understand that though, so I played along and tried to get him off the phone as quickly as possible so I could return to her.
As soon as I saw her, for some reason my heart skipped a beat and it made me happy. I’m not sure what these feelings are but I like them—a lot.
Quickly, I freshen up and think about the gift I have for her. I saw it as I passed Sally’s desk and saw it tucked away with all the other corporate gifts. It made me smile because it reminded me so much of her. It’s the perfect gift to remind her of us, and I am keen to see her face when I give it to her. I need to wrap it first, so I head back to my office and spend a few minutes photocopying an image from the internet onto a plain piece of paper and then I wrap the gift carefully and tie it up with the ribbon from a box of chocolates that I grab for good measure.
I manage all of this in less than ten minutes, and I’m feeling pretty good about life when I head back to our cozy cabin to find my special lady.
She doesn’t see me at first and I watch for a moment, not quite believing how beautiful she is. The light cast from the fairy lights and candles dance against her skin and reflect the shine in her eyes. I’m not sure why, but she seems kind of sad and it makes my heart beat just a little faster. Then I notice she’s wearing some kind of apron thing under my hoodie and for some reason, I hate the fact she’s not naked anymore.
She is looking at her phone at something on the internet and I wonder if that’s what’s made her sad. It must be because I can’t think of any other reason and so I say brightly, “Hey, I see you found the walk-in closet.”
She looks up and smiles but it has lost a little of its intensity and I head across and crouch beside her and say with concern, “Are you ok, anything you want to share?”
She looks down and then when she looks up again, the look has gone and she smiles a little too brightly, “I’m fine, just thinking of my family, it’s strange not being with them on Christmas day, don’t you think?”
Sitting beside her, I pull her against me and squeeze her shoulder. “It’s strange, that’s true enough, but I don’t regret a moment of what’s happened—do you?”
I feel a little anxious about her reply because something has changed since she left and I want to know why.
She appears to come to a decision and just smiles brightly, “No, I wouldn’t change a thing, so maybe you should drink your coffee before it gets cold.”
She hands me the mug with
Hoe, Hoe, Hoe and a woman with a sexy wink on and I laugh. “You know me so well already.”
Her eyes lose a little of their shine as she nods, “I think I do.”
Remembering the gift, I hope to restore a little of that earlier sparkle and hold it out a little self-consciously.
She looks surprised. “What’s that?”
“It’s Christmas day, I’ve got you a present.”
Her eyes widen and she says in a whisper, “You wrapped it, it’s perfect.”
I look down at the image of several dancing fairies that I found online, and smile. “I thought of you, it seemed appropriate.”
She smiles softly and looks a little emotional, which in turn makes me feel on edge. I am discovering I want nothing more than to please my little fairy, and it appears that this small gesture is doing the job.
Her eyes shine as she unties the red ribbon and reveals the ornament in the gold box that I saw on Sally’s desk. Holding it up, she cries out in delight as it spins from the delicate string holding it.
“It’s me.” She laughs softly as I nod. “I know, what are the odds?”
We both look at the delicate figurine spinning in her hand of a beautiful fairy. She is beautiful, just like her and I say huskily, “It’s our first Christmas and now you can hang this every year and remember when we met.”
“I will, thank you.” She places it carefully back in the box and I hand her the box of chocolates. “I thought we could indulge a little and maybe watch another Christmas movie. I’m kind of addicted to them but not as much as I am to you.”
She laughs softly and leans forward and kisses me softly, “Thank you, that was a lovely thing to do, the trouble is, I haven’t got you anything and now I feel bad.”
Pulling her tightly against me, I say gruffly, “I just want you, that’s the best gift I could have asked for, just you.”
23
Carla
I am so conflicted. On the one hand, Oliver couldn’t be more loving if he tried. He says and does all the right things, but that conversation has confused things. Is this all an act? It could be, and now he has given me such a thoughtful gift wrapped in a bespoke paper that he really thought about. I really want to lower my guard and believe that something could come out of all this, but I can’t ignore the conversation I overheard.
I suppose I make a split decision to think about this another day because I’m here now and I may never get this chance again. I want to have fun with him; I want to laugh and I want to feel loved. He does all those things, but I must stay guarded. When we get out of here, the proof will follow. If he still wants to see where this takes us, I would be a fool not to try. If I never hear from him again, I know I need to book that sex change, or a one-way ticket to Outer Mongolia because what I saw online has me thinking the second option will win hands down.
We snuggle down with the box of chocolates and our coffees and watch another Christmas movie. I try so hard to regain the magic of before, but now the doubts are pushing the magic out because I was foolish and cyber stalked Oliver online while he freshened up.
There are so many images of him escorting glamorous women to high society events. His home, his parents and his friends, are all there to pore over and I know it’s a life I will never easily fit inside.
I’m not like them. My parents are nothing like them, and I don’t have enough friends to fill a limo on the type of nights out he enjoys.
However, I push all that aside because I’m addicted to him and what we have created here.
Pushing aside any doubts I have; I just try to shift my mind back to enjoying Christmas; the New Year can take care of itself.
The following week.
I’m so nervous I could legitimately call in sick. My reflection mocks me as I stare at a girl who should have listened to that voice in her head, who told her this was a big mistake of the highest proportions.
Grabbing my purse, I head out of the door toward the subway to hell. Christmas is over and we were released from our bubble on Boxing Day morning.
As I take the short walk to the subway, I remember how sad that made us. The snow plows made it possible for us to return to normality and after the best 36 hours of my life, Oliver and I said our goodbyes after I promised I would return his hoodie first thing on January 2nd.
It could have been so different if I had the courage to tell him my name, but I couldn’t. I wanted to retain the air of mystery to give us time to come to terms with what happened. He was desperate to see me again the next day, but I was firm and held my ground. I needed time to adjust to the situation, and it was the hardest thing to do because of what we shared.
Oliver and I had the most seductive Christmas possible, and yet I needed the time after to create a little distance from that. Call it self-preservation, but I couldn’t get his conversation with his brother out of my head. I need to know he still feels the same now we’ve had time apart because I can’t let myself fall for a rogue who screws random strangers for a bit of fun.
I have too much respect for myself to be ‘that’ woman and so, with a nervous flutter to my heart, I grabbed the hoodie tightly that I washed and ironed and packed inside a box, layered with tissue and tied with red ribbon. A little over the top perhaps, but it seemed fitting, at least I thought so.
As I take the usual journey to the office, I feel different somehow. I screwed the boss several times and we did it in the boardroom. Thinking about how it must look now makes me sad because I will never look at the office in the same way again. It will be as if Christmas never happened and as I feared, real life came back with a vengeance.
As I make the short walk to Proctor and Steele, I feel as if I’m heading for an almighty fall.
“Hey, Carla, wait up.”
Turning around, I see Stacey racing up behind me, looking amazing in a white, fur trimmed, Puffa jacket and snow boots. She falls into step beside me and says breathlessly, “Can you believe all this snow? I only just made it home on Christmas Eve, I’ve never seen the office empty so quickly when Taylor interrupted the party and told us the weather warning.”
“Um, yes, me too, it was mad.”
She looks at me curiously. “Were you ok? I mean, you were a little worse for wear. Mind you, it probably stopped you making a fool of yourself. Can you imagine if you really had found Oliver Steele and given him a lap dance?”
She shakes her head and laughs, and I nod. “Yes, imagine.”
We push our way through the revolving door to the office and it’s as if I’m having an out-of-body experience. The last time I was here was so different. Oliver kissed me passionately goodbye in every doorway and made me promise to head straight to his office when I got here. The thought of that is making me feel physically sick. I can’t do it. It’s too much and I suppose I must be having a panic attack because Stacey says with concern, “Are you ok, honey, you look kind of sick.”
“Sorry, I think I’m a little lightheaded because I skipped breakfast. Maybe I’ll grab a coffee and muffin next door, I’ve got time.”
She nods and says with sympathy, “Do you want any help, I’m happy to check you get back here in one piece?”
“It’s fine, thanks, I won’t be long.”
Quickly, I head back outside and take a few deep breaths of the sharp, clear air. I don’t know why I’m feeling so worried, maybe it’s because the penny has dropped and I am suddenly aware that I’m messing with Oliver Steele, the Oliver Steele, what was I thinking?
Now I’m back in my business suit, I’m that awe-struck employee that puts him on a pedestal with everyone else. I can’t face him feeling like this, so I head next door and order a pumpkin spiced latte and a double chocolate muffin to give me energy for the day ahead.
The second time I walk through those revolving doors, I feel a little better. I can do this; I can pull this off. I won’t let him affect me and I’ll just carry on as normal.
Feeling a little braver, I head up to the reception and place the ribbone
d box on the desk. The pretty smiling receptionist looks at me in surprise and I say a little awkwardly, “I’m sorry, but can you make sure that Mr. Steele receives this? I found it in the coffee shop next door. It must be from a secret admirer.”
She looks a little surprised and turns it in her hand. “But there’s no label on it. How did you know it was for Mr. Steele?”
I feel like a fool as I say quickly, “Damn, the label must have dropped off. I could go back and look for it if you like.”
She considers her reply and then luckily, a man calls for her some way down the desk and seizing the moment, I quickly walk away before she notices I’m gone.
24
Oliver
I’m so nervous. I can’t believe I am, but I’ve thought of nothing else since Boxing day. Today’s the day, I’m going to see my fairy again and this time I’m not letting her leave without telling me her name at least.
I pace my office floor a thousand times, counting down every minute before she is due. We left each other with the promise she would return my property at 9am on January 2nd, on the dot. When I say my property, I actually mean her because over the past week, I haven’t stopped thinking about her and if she’ll agree; I want to make her an offer I hope she can’t refuse.
Sally pops her head around the door at one minute to nine and my heart starts hammering as she says pleasantly, “A package arrived for you, Mr. Steele. I’m afraid there’s no label, but someone dropped it off at reception and told Emily it was to be delivered to you.”
She heads inside holding a brightly wrapped box, tied with a ribbon and I look at it in surprise.
“Thanks.”
Taking it from her, I say quickly as she turns to leave, “Um, is my 9-o’clock here yet?”
Deck the Boss: A holiday office romance Page 8