by P A Minyard
“Beth will never believe this.”
“You cannot show yourself to your family.”
“But Daniel came back, didn’t he?” Jonathan was confused.
“All Beloved have their own paths to follow, and no two are exactly the same, although you share similar experiences.” Bernard had a solemn look about him. “The scar upon your chest will open as if by a reflex, taking a demon’s power unto itself. Your body will assimilate that power and make it your own. Once your strength has increased, you will be able to save your brother.”
“Who are these demons?”
“The most powerful demons are fallen angels who have left the path of righteousness. You were taught to fear them when you were a child and rightfully so; they are very real and very dangerous, even the lesser ones who were conjured by the devil himself. The gate will take you to the demons you must face.”
“What gate?” Jonathan asked. He felt his head begin to spin again. “Heaven’s gate is a doorway that only you may cross through. It will lead you to the demons. It bends to your will and your will alone, which is why you may use it to check on your family if you wish. But you must not disturb them or reveal yourself. Knowledge of your existence could put them in danger.” Bernard paused. “Maybe we should stop,” he said. “I should let you rest a while longer.”
“No,” Jonathan said. He seemed to snap out of the fog. “These are things I need to know. These are things that I agreed to.” He could see Bernard stifling a smile. “Will it hurt when I take the demon’s power?” he asked.
“Your body must adjust to its new role,” Bernard said gently. “I’m afraid it’s not very pleasant at first. But the more power you attain, the easier it will be to recover. That power will also allow you to heal others.”
Jonathan thought for a moment on Bernard’s words. His face lit up as the realization hit him. “As Daniel saved Beth!” he exclaimed.
“Yes. Your brother saved your sister’s life.” Bernard nodded. “You care a great deal for your family, an attribute that will serve you well when the time comes.”
The swell of love in Jonathan’s heart was only fleeting. He looked down at his hands, at his skin, at the scar across his right forearm — a reminder of the fall he took from a tree when he was 8 years old.
“Am I really dead?” he asked with childlike innocence.
“Yes, you are,” Bernard said, and reached out and touched his arm. “But you will not appear that way to yourself or to others. We cannot have you frightening those around you.”
Jonathan turned his gaze to the soldier’s uniform at the foot of his bed.
“Your place is with the army now,” Bernard said, trying to reassure him. “We will hide you in plain sight.”
Jonathan leaned forward and let his head fall into his hands. His elbows were perched upon his legs above his knees, and he could feel his fingers sinking into his thick hair as he stared at the grey blanket covering his lower body. “I don’t understand how any of this will save Daniel,” he said.
“If you really wish to know right now, I will tell you,” Bernard replied.
Neither of them could look the other in the eye.
“I guess you should just tell me.”
“The only way to defeat Benedict is to take his power and then return that power as well as your own back to the place it came from. Neither of you will survive this.” Bernard looked at Jonathan as if bracing himself for the reaction.
Jonathan never moved. He just sat staring at the blanket. “But my brother will be free of the demon’s grasp?”
“Yes.”
“May I ask you something?” Jonathan said, finally meeting Bernard’s piercing blue eyes with an icy stare of his own. “Why do you need me? Why can’t you vanquish this demon?”
“Only a Beloved may take the power of another Beloved,” Bernard said, looking ashamed. “Benedict has possessed Daniel, but he cannot eliminate him or his power. All that is Beloved belongs to Daniel; Benedict only borrows his attributes.”
“And what’s to stop him from taking me as well?”
“Their power, our power, all power comes from the Father. It is what one does with it that separates the two. That is why you must give the power — all the power — back to the Father.” Bernard noticed that through all this, Jonathan never flinched. In fact, he showed no emotion whatsoever.
“Why does all this talk of vanquishing demons not frighten you?”
“I’ve learned not to fear things simply because I don’t understand them.” Jonathan’s face softened. “My friend Joshua and his brother Benjamin taught me that. Besides, you would not ask for my help if we were not able to accomplish all of this, right?”
“There are no guarantees, Jonathan,” Bernard swallowed hard, “only a good chance.”
Jonathan felt queasy at Bernard’s response, and for the first time since he awoke, he began to question his decision. As his confidence wavered, he understood why his choice to become a Beloved had to be his own.
“You are not alone in this,” Bernard said, looking compassionately into Jonathan’s face. “I will be with you every step of the way.” Bernard reached over and placed his hand upon Jonathan’s head. “Take some more rest now. I fear there won’t be much time for it in the coming days.”
Jonathan reclined and looked up at the ceiling above his head. The lumber looked new and untested, not unlike himself. He closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.
Jonathan’s eyes fluttered and he awoke again upon the same bed. The room seemed brighter, and as he looked around, he noticed that the beds were now full. He had no idea how long it had been since he had spoken with Bernard and since he... died. A young woman walked from one occupied bed to another. She came up to Jonathan and smiled. She was very beautiful, he thought, and he blushed at her attention.
“I see that you’re awake now,” she said. Her voice seemed full of joy. He suddenly became too shy to respond. She placed her hand across his forehead, and upon feeling his skin, her smile widened. He tried everything he could to keep his mouth from falling open.
“Your fever has broken!” she exclaimed. “Are you thirsty?”
Jonathan was dumbstruck but able to muster a nod. She reached over to the stand where a pitcher and glass were waiting and poured a small amount of water into the glass. She placed her hand behind Jonathan’s neck, helping him lift his head to take a drink. He coughed immediately, choking on the liquid.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, fumbling with the glass and trying to help him sit up. “I’m not very good at this.”
“No,” he coughed. “That was entirely my fault.” He sat up further, trying to catch his breath. His face was red and his eyes were watering.
The young lady patted his back, trying to comfort him.
“And how is this one today?” a voice said.
The girl looked up and so did Jonathan. It was Bernard dressed as a young sergeant, his red hair and blue eyes blazing in the sunlight.
“It appears he’s come back to us,” the young woman replied.
“I should send you back to your mother,” the sergeant said to Jonathan with a wink, “getting sick in your first week of training camp. But we have need of you, so I’ll let you stay.” He turned his back on Jonathan and greeted a soldier who lay in the next bed.
“What’s your name?” the young lady asked.
“Jonathan,” he replied, full of courage.
“Well, Jonathan,” she said, “it looks as though you’ve made an impression.” She walked away to check on the next lad two beds away.
Jonathan watched as she spent time sitting next to the soldier. He could feel his heart racing.
“She’s right pretty,” a soldier called out from one bed over.
“I hadn’t noticed,” Jonathan replied, and turned his head.
“If you say so,” the soldier answered with a knowing smile.
Jonathan reclined in bed and tried to get the young lady out of his mind. He stared
at the ceiling above him. It saddened him knowing that he would never have that future. It was the first time he thought he might want that future. Girls had never been that interesting until now.
He knew he shouldn’t have those thoughts, but it was hard not to. That demon had shattered his world, taken everything from him and from Daniel. Even if he and Bernard succeeded, that wouldn’t change. When he had finally pushed it from his mind, thoughts of his family filled the void. Daniel had told him they’d be devastated if anything happened to either one of them. But he knew he’d miss them even more, especially Beth. In truth, he already did.
Dinner came and went. Jonathan passed on his meal, offering it to the other soldiers, much to the dismay of the pretty young lady. He couldn’t sleep and didn’t dare get out of bed. Earlier attempts had not gone down well with the attending physician. And staring at the ceiling again was the last thing he wanted to do.
Jonathan slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He ran his fingertips over the scar for the first time, the bumps and indentations foreign to his touch. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see his chest. He bent his head forward to look at the twisted mark. His death came back to him in flashes, the pain of the blade, the snapping of bones, the blood in his mouth. He could feel Daniel’s pipe slipping from his hand before the darkness consumed him. “This scar is all I am now,” he thought.
“And what you will become,” Bernard said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
Jonathan was, surprisingly, not startled by his arrival. “I was hoping you would visit,” he said. He quickly buttoned up his shirt, embarrassed by his bare chest.
“The gate will open soon. Are you ready to take your first step?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “So many thoughts are running through my head. I’m scared, I’m sad, I’m angry, and I want revenge more than anything. Why did that demon take so much from us?”
“Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people.” Bernard started twisting the button on his coat. “But that doesn’t make any of this easier to swallow. I only hope you can forgive me.”
“I don’t understand.” Jonathan’s gaze was fixed on the button that was sure to pop off at any moment.
Bernard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It looked like he was summoning every bit of courage he had. Jonathan thought it odd — how could an angel know fear? Bernard straightened his back then fixed his gaze on Jonathan.
“There were four of us, brothers in arms,” Bernard began. “We protected the weak and vanquished evil. We played the part of guardian angel, and we played it well. Then came the deal. A demon named Donovan approached us. He told us when and where we could find Benedict. We’d been tracking him. He was powerful and ruthless, and was always one step ahead of us.” Bernard winced. “We agreed to leave Donovan to his own devices, and the hunt began. Benedict was exactly where Donovan said he would be, and none too happy to see us. He lashed out swiftly, violently taking the life of one of our party. We were incensed and threw our rage upon him with equal ferocity. We lost all reason, swept up in the act.” Bernard paused as he looked down at the button that had come off in his hand. “I was left behind to finish him, but in that moment I could not. I was frightened by what we had done; by what we had become. I left him to die, thinking he had only moments to live.”
“But he survived, and you’ve been chasing him ever since,” Jonathan blurted out.
“And the price has been high,” Bernard replied. “Four Beloved, including Daniel, have fallen to Benedict’s rage. Revenge is not enough; he delights in the suffering more than anything else.”
“Your suffering or theirs?”
“He does not distinguish,” Bernard said.
“Was all of this meant to happen?” Jonathan asked.
“It was not my intention, but then again it never is.”
“Did Daniel know about this?”
“No.” Bernard looked away. “I never got the chance to tell him. The power changed him, made him impetuous and I... I was too shortsighted.” He placed the button in his pocket while staring at his feet.
“Beth would know what to say right now,” Jonathan sighed. “I’m just not that good at this sort of thing.”
“She would try to comfort me even though I don’t deserve it?” Bernard asked, finally looking over at Jonathan.
“Yes.”
“Then, she is more an angel than I have been.”
“She always did try to convince me that she was heaven-sent,” Jonathan said sheepishly.
Bernard found a smile at the boy’s candid response.
“You are nothing like your brother,” Bernard said, “and yet you’re very much the same.”
17
FIRST STEP
Buck was unsettled on the trip back to Camp Chase and everyone knew it. He barely said a word once they left Virginia. He unpacked and repacked Jonathan’s belongings on several occasions, making sure that everything was still there. He hoped to see his young friend again soon and looked forward to showing him the photograph he’d taken. But he couldn’t get over the uneasiness he’d felt during the conversation with Major Parker. Why send the boy ahead of the party? Surely, there was strength in numbers. And the caravan was primarily civilians, an unlikely target. It made no sense.
Once back in Columbus, Buck sought out Duff, who was equally perplexed by the news. Sending two soldiers to escort a boy home was a misallocation of assets and not Daniel’s style. He would never squander his resources like that. Duff could only hope that Jonathan was almost home and all of this would be put to rest. He’d been on pins and needles since he let the boy leave with the press group. He thanked Buck for relaying the information and wished him well.
“Captain, if I may,” Buck said as Duff was leaving. “You said you were friends with the major.”
“Good friends, actually,” Duff corrected him.
“Would you call him dismissive or short?”
“No, not in the least,” Duff replied. “Why do you ask?”
“I got the impression he was hiding something and that we were unwelcome.” Buck didn’t hold back. “Call it intuition or a by-product of my time spent with the press corps, but the major seemed unlike the man Jonathan described to me.”
“The battlefield will change a person,” Duff said. “Perhaps the brief nature of your visit was inadequate to judge his motives properly.”
“Perhaps...” Buck replied, and extended his hand in friendship. “Please take care of yourself, Captain. Godspeed in your endeavors.”
“And to you,” Duff said, and shook his hand robustly, even though his brow was furrowed.
Jonathan remained under the order of bed rest. He couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let him leave the hospital. Most of the men who shared the beds had gone. He could hear the bustle the camp made during the day, the firing of guns, the shouts from the drill sergeant and the men calling back in unison. And the marching back and forth seemed endless. He remembered Daniel describing such things to him in the letters but it was different now. There was tension and fear, emotions Daniel’s words never conveyed. He was so lost in these feelings he never sensed the beautiful young lady approach him.
“I brought you something to eat,” she said, and handed him a small bowl of applesauce and a spoon. “Some ladies from town dropped by with canned goods earlier.”
Jonathan blushed as he took the bowl and then set it on the stand near his bed. “Thank you, but I’m not very hungry right now,” he said.
“You have to eat something. They won’t let you leave until you start eating again.”
“I know,” he answered.
“Is there anything I can get for you?” she asked, trying to cheer him up.
“May I write a letter to my family?”
“By all means! Wait right here. Oh dear, what am I saying? Of course, you’ll wait right here.” She was flustered with excitement.
Watching her fumbling, Jonathan felt a burst of c
onfidence and began grinning from ear to ear. He was unable to curb his emotions before she returned, and he watched her blush with embarrassment as she handed him the pen and paper.
“Take your time,” she said. “I’ll make sure it goes out as soon as you’re done.”
Jonathan ducked his head, bowing to her. He was unable to control the shyness that overtook him as he noticed her more clearly now than before. It was as if the sun had gently kissed her skin, giving it a vibrancy that was accentuated by the soft pinks in her cheeks. Caught up in how her blond hair fell across the back of her neck, he watched her walk away. The dreamlike state lasted for minutes after she had left the room. The pen began to roll off the paper in his lap, and he quickly caught it, remembering himself.
He wanted to write to Beth, but couldn’t tell her what had happened. He’d have to concoct a fib; something that would make his family understand his absence; something that would exonerate Duff. He couldn’t have Beth or his parents thinking the less of Duff. “He’s a good man, with good intentions and he cares for Daniel like a brother,” he thought. Jonathan respected that. He took his time, carefully constructing the tale he was telling. But the emotions that poured out were real, even though they were interspersed with the lies he told to protect them. Once he had finished, he read it over several times and marveled at how adult it sounded. He folded it up and hid it beneath the thin mattress on his bed.
He became distracted by the tug at his heart as if it had skipped a beat. It wasn’t exactly painful but it startled him.
“The gate is calling you,” said Bernard’s voice. He appeared immediately, causing Jonathan’s heart to race.
He was caught off guard this time by his guardian’s arrival. He quickly recovered his senses and noticed a bright light shining from the doorway where the young lady had left earlier. He felt the pull of its presence as it beckoned him to cross.
“Put this on.” Bernard handed Jonathan his uniform.
“How will I know what to do?” Jonathan struggled to pull his pants on as the adrenaline heightened his nerves. He fumbled with the buttons on his jacket as well.