by Mara Jaye
I’ve been through far more stressful situations, true, but my jaw is clenched as I knock on her door. No doorbell security and I make a note to have something shipped to her. Nothing happens. I recheck the address G’nar sent and yes. I’m where I wanted to be, so I knock again. Various locks move, metal against wood. Her door opens and I see her. She’s in a shirt too large for her, her long dark hair free like this afternoon in my bed. She blinks a couple of times. I try to smile. “Hello.”
“Hi. What’s going on? Is Daneul all right?” She opens the door wider. “G’nar’s good, too?”
“They’re fine. Probably having a snack and wasting time.” I follow Paxton inside. “Nothing is happening, really.” She closes the door behind me. “I was out driving and wanted to stop by.”
“Another booty call? I’m still tired from earlier.”
“Excuse me?”
“You know, booty call?” she repeats and I shake my head because I don’t want to access Earth’s internet. “More sex?” she says.
“That’s…” I begin to deny, but can’t. Who wouldn’t want to make love to their bondmate? “It’s not exactly why I’m here.” The expression on her face says she doesn’t believe me. Honesty is too much truth but I can’t lie to her. “I missed you,” I end up blurting out. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right after today. That you made it home and continued to get some sleep.”
“I did.” She yawns. “Did you want something to drink? Have you had dinner?”
“Water would be good. I’m still replenishing fluids.” Pax’s face reddens and I grin. “You’re the best reason in the universe to be thirsty.”
Damn. I’m not supposed to be flirting. She doesn’t respond. Instead, she goes to a small kitchen and I look around at her home. “Do you live here alone,” I ask.
“Yes, for now. I really need a roommate.” Water runs and when it stops, she adds, “My income covers bills but not much more.” Pax comes in with two glasses full of water-covered ice and gives me one. “I have an ad out for someone.” She takes a drink. “Have a seat and tell me why you’re really here if not for more sex.”
I follow her to her far too colorful sofa. She sits first, setting out two flat squares on a table. She sets her glass on one and now I remember what they’re called. Coasters, even if they don’t coast at all. I put my drink down, too, and sit next to a round orange pillow. “I was out, enjoying the evening. After a few miles, I thought why not stop and see how Paxton, you, is doing.”
She gives me a little smile when I say what her name is. “Okay, sounds fun until you get here and have to explain why you threw me out this evening.” Before I can rebut, she holds up a hand. “To be fair, once I saw Gunnar and Dan outside, I figured it out. You want to keep me on the down low.”
I know what a double negative is but a double distance? “I don’t want to keep you lowered at all. I only wanted to rectify a mistake.” The words sound harsh even as I say them. “I mean, we shouldn’t have bonded today. I can’t start a union with anyone right now.” While I can’t be entirely truthful about her sixth world status, I can admit to my empirical restrictions. “Now is a bad time for me to find anyone, never mind a, a spouse of some sort.” She sputters a little and I’m just glad I avoided using the term bondmate.
She puts her glass down and crosses her arms. “We had fun, and yes, it’d be way too easy for me to fall in love with you, but today was just fucking. No big deal.” Her microexpressions tell me she’s lying. Not looking at me, she adds, “Honestly, you don’t seem to be good with this whole fuck buddy concept. Your coming over here to say how much today didn’t mean to you is actually a pain in the ass.” She stood and took both of our drinks. “So, consider your message sent and received.”
“All right.” I stay seated while she goes into the kitchen. There’s some sounds that are borderline angry, but must be ordinary. Pax didn’t seem unduly upset. I glance around at her living area. Her television is as small as the walls are bright. Her artwork consists of copies from more famous Earth works. The ghostly screaming man on a bridge is one, a garish vase of yellow flowers are another. They’re something our beginning artists would paint, only on Ghar, they’d use more colors than this planet has available. I mish home.
“So?” Pax undoes the locks on her door. “You can leave, you know. There’s no need to stay and chatter excuses at me for why this is a one and done.”
I run a couple of her phrases through my translator. The results irritate me. “Wait, you think today was a playtime?”
“Uh, yeah.” She leaned against the wall, arms crossed again and frowning. “After rushing me out of the door, I figured we had fun but that’s all it was. Why are you so irritated, anyway?”
“Because…” I know I shouldn’t say why but can’t help myself. “Because today was our bonding. We’re now together in a way more permanent than anything on, around here can offer. You and I connected on a basic level that no one in the galaxy can contest.” I shut my mouth before adding not even I could stop this unless she agreed.
“Huh. Bonding? Sounds serious, but you know what? Let’s take this a little slow. All this union, connection, and what else? Bonding? Seems a bit much for an afternoon delight no matter how earth shaking it was.”
I can’t help but grin. “We were spectacular together.”
“The best.”
Her dark eyes sparkle and I don’t know who I am anymore. “Pax, I need you.”
She nods, pushing away from the wall to come over to me. “Whatever I try to tell you doesn’t matter. You’re an addiction I’m not sure I can shake. It’s like today meant more than great sex and now you’re in my blood.”
Paxton’s hunger fuels my own the closer she gets. She’s right, even if she doesn’t know it. Our coupling this afternoon sealed our union. I need her again. Once more, before I walk away for good. I put my hands on her upper arms. “Could we, again?”
Her face softens as she hugs me. “I thought you’d never ask.” Pax takes a step back. “I’d kiss you now, but we’d never make it to my bed.”
I’m hard in an instant. “Here is good,” I manage to growl.
She laughs, taking my hand. “Come on to my bedroom and you won’t be sorry.”
I let her lead me to a room opposite of her bathroom. Like the rest of her home, her sleeping area is a riot of color. Her hand is warm in mine as I can’t help but stare at her belongings.
Paxton turns on a lamp. “I know I should go slow, seduce you, but all I want is more of this afternoon.”
Her rumpled bed is inviting. The blue sheets glisten in the dim light. I remove my shirt and kick off my shoes. My system alarm is set so even if I fall asleep afterward, I’ll get home in time to tuck in my son. Pax smiles as she shimmies out of her pants. Nothing else matters but her.
As if we’re mentally linked as well, she says, “What happens on my mattress stays here. Tonight, it’s just us. Out outside world or pressures to stay in our places.”
“Good. There’s no other world I’d rather be on than right here, right now with you.”
“Are you sure? I hear Venus is pretty hot this time of year.”
Second planet from her Sun. hot enough for rock to remain quasi melted. I laugh as the facts roll through my mind. “Sounds perfect.” I slide my underwear down, watching her flop onto the bed. I follow and smile when she sighs. “You sound pleased.”
She nods while snuggling into me. “I am. You were cold enough after today, I didn’t think I’d ever get another chance. I’m not sure I even wanted one.”
I kiss her, intening the touch to be brief but her lips lure me in. Her touch, scent, the little hums she makes all keep me needing more. I slide into her as if coming home again. We’re in more of a rhythm than before and I’m amazed. She doesn’t have any sort of nanos, yet it’s as if she knows what pleases me before I do. Like before, I reach down to touch where we join and the pleasure is too much for her. She bites her lip as if to keep from
screaming my name, In that moment, I truly do feel like the ruler of the universe.
My mind is in that hazy half asleep stage when my system alarm begins. I ease away from Pax like a rills vine retreating for the night. I don’t want to wake her. I also don’t want to leave her. But, I have to deal with G’nar and need to see Daneul. I hurry, throwing on my clothes. She was so sweet and warm. I give her one last kiss on the cheek before leaving, locking her door as I exit her home.
City lights overpower the setting moon as I drive back to my temporary location. Drenched in her delicious scent, I feel her growing distance with every beat of my heart. Tonight solved nothing. If anything, making love to her solidified my feelings for her. I look forward to when the lust we share abates enough to talk without distractions. I want to learn more about her than her cluttered, informative environment told me.
I can’t help but smile now that I have a few moments away from her home. Items covered nearly every solid surface. Without her, I can review what my bionans recorded while she kept me distracted. The best part about tonight is having another chance to store every little thing about her body into memory.
There must be a way for her to come with me back to Ghar. I can’t rule without her.
I pull into my parking spot at the apartments, hurrying to tuck in Daneul. As I walk in, G’nar is alone, watching an educational program. The method of learning about Earth is vastly impractical. But, television and books both can’t access our personal informational systems. He doesn’t look at me as I hang up my keys while I ask him, “Did I miss the story?”
“Yeah, and so did Dan. We watched several historical shows in a row before he fell asleep.”
“Ah. I’d set an alarm.”
G’nar leans his head back to look at me. “Did you sleep through it?”
“No. I figured I had more time.”
“What do you plan to do about her?” He switches off the television. “Twice, now, and every time will seal the link. Have you given her nanos, yet?”
His question horrifies me. “Never, Officer MacKrell, ever will I give her any of our tech.” He’s got a smartass smirk on his face. I probably deserve the derision, but then, I am his ruler. “I plan to leave her here when we go home. In fact, Nial has information being encrypted for me as we speak.”
“You didn’t mention anything before now.”
He’s right. I could have told him last night when he returned or this morning before he left. My brother had an aide send the information just before G’nar brought Pax over. “I’ve been distracted.”
He nodded. “Bonding does that to a person. You’ll have a tough time letting her go, but having her say the uncoupling phrases in your mind will keep you from aching for her when we’re gone.”
I can’t say anything because reversing our union wasn’t an option tonight. After a glance at him only to catch him frowning, I shrug. “There’ll be other times, other chances for the reversal.”
“I see.” G’nar puts his hands behind his head. “What if your brother’s message is about the assassins? We could be able to leave when he contacts you. By your own orders concerning sixth worlders, you’ll never see Pax again.”
“Maybe, or maybe not.” My irritation rises like a gas bubble with spikes in my chest. I feel like he’s ordering me around even though he’s doing no such thing. “I refuse to rush into anything concerning her. We’re safe here and might remain until Daneul reaches adulthood.”
“Are you sure? What if the Emperor reports no progress and the assassins are still at large? Might you know someone on Earth who is now a target because you’re attached to her? Someone who’s weak enough to torture and force you into doing whatever the Vahdmoshi demands?”
I fill a glass with water and drink before rebutting with, “You watch over Dan and me just fine.”
“Thank you. I do my best.” He leans forward, shaking his head. “I can’t watch over the three of you effectively. Not alone.”
He’s right and I can’t argue. I could send for another guard just for Pax but, yet another second worlder on a sixth world? We three are bad enough. I can’t compound the problem, yet, I can’t help but tell G’nar, “I don’t know if I can leave her.” After placing my glass in the sink, I walk over to sit on the far end of te sofa. “But then, I know I can’t stay here much longer and not be a true bondmate to Pax.”
“Then we need to leave. You’ll have to suffer from her loss and I’m sorry. It’s not what I’d want for my emperor, but you and Daneul would go on to rule us as you’re both meant to do.”
“You’re right. I’ll alert Nial’s assistant to let him know we’re relocating. Also, transfer our Earth assets to Paxton upon our departure.”
“Will do.”
Chapter Seven
Pax
I don’t know what to think. After the best sex of my life with a man I’ve crushed on since we first met, he’s ghosted me. The worst part is seeing his son every weekday since. Gunnar has been here to drop off and pick up Daneul for the past three days. It’s becoming more difficult to not be disappointed every time I see him come into the center. Even worse? There’s a huge barrier between us now. Whenever I try to say something, he darts off, nearly dragging Daneul with him.
It’s my fault for getting involved with either. The bright spot is we’re all too embarrassed to admit anything to my boss about my going too far with Eldan. I hope they are, anyway. I get out my phone and go to corporate’s website.
“Hey, Miss Paxton!
I glance up at Daneul. “Good morning.” Gunnar is next to him, hunting and pecking on the check in system. “Nice to see you both.”
“Uh huh,” Gunnar replies, looking at me for a second when he’s finished before ruffling Daneul’s hair. “Behave and I’ll pick you up early for ice cream.”
“How’s El—, um, Mr. Luke?”
Gunnar frowns. “Good. Busy, like I am.”
“Oh.” The cut hurts as the man leaves. I can’t do anything about the tears springing to my eyes. Dan is gone already. I’m glad everyone else is busy with their classes and not paying attention to me. Everything from Eldan and Gunnar feels way too personal. I hop off of the stool behind the counter. Maybe a client of whatever business they’re in is acting up. Or, maybe they’ve found a new love between them. My date with Gunnar and sheet time with Eldan made them realize they love each other. I’m a catalyst for their change.
The old-fashioned clock ticks off the minutes as if they were hours. Play time, snack time, arts and crafts, lunchtime, and now nap time. I’ve managed to avoid Daneul for most of the day but he comes over while I’m finishing my part of clearing dishes.
“Miss Pax, could you read us a story? Miss Jenny says she’s leaving early for a doctor’s appointment.”
I look over at the door and Jen has one foot out already. “Sure,” I say. “Pick a story and I’ll read it for you.” The room erupts in cheers. I chuckle and take the book Dan’s offering. “What? You all thought I’d say no to…” I check out the title. “The Little Engine That Could? Excellent choice. An oldie but a goody.” I sit in the bigger chair while the kids settle in on their napping mats.
None of them stand a chance against my soothing reading style. They’re all snoozing by the time the train reaches the top. I close the book, resisting the urge to check my phone for messages from anyone like Gunnar. Instead, I focus on the next “time” coming up. More crafts, more snack, and one by one, parents retrieve their children.
I’m up front, feeling a little queasy. Will Eldan pick up Daneul this time, or will I get to see grumpy Gunnar again? The other teachers are standing around, mumbling about the things that they need to be doing instead of staying here and waiting. I glance up from my phone. Any one of us can lock up the place for the night. “I don’t mind waiting with Daneul until he’s picked up.”
Jenny and Shayla look at each other before Shayla says, “You don’t?”
I shrug. “No. I have an exciting evening
of ramen soup and reality TV planned.”
“Let’s go before she changes her mind,” Jenny says and gives me a grin.
Dan taps me on the arm. “You’re staying, right?”
“Of course, I am.” He leans against me and I hug him. “In fact, let’s see who answers first, your dad or your uncle.”
He shakes his head as I pull up contact information on the computer. “Neither one is answering me.”
“Come on, you don’t know that.” I get the phone and start dialing. “Besides, you have to use a real phone, not one from the toy box.” Both men’s phones go to voicemail. I dial Eldan’s a second time just to hear him talk. “Nope. They must be busy or in traffic somewhere.” I pat Daneul on the back. “No biggie. We’ll just hang out until one of them is here.”
The little guy is still leaning against me. He really is adorable and is a lot like his dad. Who I miss even after three days. I sigh. The entire time after he left, my stomach has been queasy. Like I’ve had this feeling of dread camped out in my midsection. I take out my phone, a little clumsy while using my left hand, and search out my symptoms. Stomach pain, queasy, anxious, jumpy, and….stomach cancer. Great. Probably not what my problem is. I slip my phone back in my pocket, certain I should have reheated my leftovers to surface of the sun hot instead of tepid last Sunday.
“They’re still not answering.”
I give the boy another hug. “All right. Let me dial them up again and see if they pick up.” Like the first time, nothing. I check the time. Yeah, they’re way late. “I hope nothing bad has happened.”
“Me too. They always talk to me when I ask.”
“I’ll bet.” I open up the emergency contacts and ask, “Dan, do you have any other relatives I can call? Aunts, uncles, grandparents?”
“No, just dad and G’nar. Wait.” I glance over at him. He’s thinking with that distant look before his attention snaps back to me. “Dad is on his way. Don’t let in anyone but him no matter what happens.”