‘Good to meet you, Lena.’
‘And you are …?’
‘Pete,’ he says. ‘I’m Ava’s boss. I expect she’s told you about me.’
He looks nothing like the picture I have in my imagination, and I fix a smile on my face.
‘Pete, hi. I know who you are.’
‘I’ve brought some fireworks; they’re in my car boot. Is Steph around? She said I need to give them to Felix. I presume they’re both here already.’
‘Yeah, he’s been building the bonfire out back. I’ll let him know you’re here.’
He follows me into the living room. Someone calls Felix in from outside, and he takes Pete’s car keys.
‘Want me to come and help?’ Pete asks him.
‘No need, mate, I’ve got this. This is Lena, have you two met? She’s organised a pretty amazing party. There’s enough booze to last the weekend, I reckon.’
‘I’ll get you a drink,’ I say. ‘What would you like?’
‘Beer, please, one of these is fine. Help yourself to one too.’ He indicates the bag.
Steph watches me as I go over to the table and put the bottles down, pouring one out for Pete and one for myself. I’ve had enough punch for now. The glass feels as cold as my hands. More people are arriving and I don’t know who they are, but I don’t care by this point. The party is buzzing and that’s all that matters.
‘Cheers,’ Pete says, studying my face intently. His eyes are pale brown, light to my dark ones. Opposites attract. His muscles flex as he moves. I’m not what you’d call a gym bunny, but I know a good body when I see one. With those biceps and his height, he could pick me up and throw me over his shoulder. Then I remember how he treated Ava and feel a twinge of guilt. Deep breaths, Lena. This party isn’t going to be spoilt by an idiot like him.
‘I don’t suppose I can smoke in here?’
‘You suppose right. In the garden.’ I indicate the back door with my head, my eyes resting on his for a moment.
‘Join me?’ he asks, producing a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. His hand partially covers the label, and I catch a glimpse of the words … seriously harms you and others around you.
Ava’s eyes are flashing a warning across the room, taking me back to the desperate feeling I had that evening when she told me what had happened. So what if he’s fit on the outside? I know what lurks underneath that muscle-bound exterior. She must know she’s got nothing to worry about. I’m just keen to get the measure of him. Hopefully the smile I send her is reassuring as I follow him outside and across the lawn.
‘I didn’t have you down as a smoker,’ I say. ‘Obviously you’re into fitness.’
‘Do you work out, Lena?’
I laugh. ‘If you call running for the bus working out, then yes.’
‘Cigarette?’
‘Go on. I could do with one, actually.’ Despite having given up years ago, the craving has returned tonight.
‘It must be hard for you, Ava moving away. You’ve known her a long time, haven’t you? She’s talked about you. I bet she’s talked about me too,’ he says, smoke spooling out of his mouth, twisting through the air as he speaks.
‘Yeah, she has.’ His tone sends an uncomfortable sensation to my stomach and the tobacco tastes foul on my tongue. Why am I even bothering with this guy? I grind the cigarette under my heel until it disintegrates. My legs feel cold. ‘Time to go, things to do,’ I say.
‘Catch you later,’ he says. I can feel his eyes boring into me as I walk away, my shoulders stiffening in response.
‘What were you talking to Pete about?’ Steph asks, blocking my way into the kitchen.
‘Nothing much,’ I say. ‘Just having a cigarette.’
She pulls a face.
‘I didn’t want to really, but I am the host and I was just being polite. I don’t want any trouble for Ava. Let’s hope he stays out there.’
‘Why did you invite him?’ she says.
‘I didn’t. I thought it was obvious that he wasn’t included in the open invitation. I assumed you must have told him about it.’
‘I certainly didn’t. Somebody else emailed it to all staff before I could warn them.’
‘Surely no one in your office would have done that; they all know about him and Ava.’
‘Maybe he overheard us talking about it. It’s hard to exclude him when everyone else is invited.’
‘I don’t want him upsetting Ava,’ I say. ‘This party has to be perfect.’
‘I’m hoping the reason he’s here is to make amends. I know he’s not happy that Ava is leaving. She’s the most experienced member of our team and she’s so good at rallying us all. You know what she’s like, such a sunny disposition. We’re all gutted.’
The music changes.
‘Oh, I love this song,’ Steph says. ‘Ava tells me you’ve lots of surprises planned. I think she’s a bit nervous.’
‘She needn’t be. Actually, you could help me with something.’ I check that Ava is nowhere within earshot, but she’s unwrapping a present on the other side of the room, silver paper catching the light and twinkling along with the fairy lights. ‘We’ve got a special firework saved for midnight, which Felix has got in hand, but just before that, I’d like to cut the cake and I thought it would be lovely if Ava would perform for us. You know she’s recently started playing the piano again, and she’s written a piece.’
Steph claps her hand together. ‘That’s a fabulous idea.’
‘Do you think she’ll go for it?’
‘Oh yes. She told me once that playing an instrument is far easier for her than talking about her feelings.’
It used to fascinate me how Ava could sit and practise the piano for hours, lost in her own world. Sit me down for even five minutes with a book and I can’t keep still.
Steph continues. ‘She said that having an audience validates her, as she can give pleasure to others too.’ She looks over at Ava. ‘And who knows when she’ll get to play her own piano again.’
The first time I heard Ava play was at school. She’d disappeared one lunchtime and I was looking for her everywhere. Out in the playground, in the gym, even in the library, although since we’d been hanging out together, she didn’t need to hide there any more. We healed each other’s loneliness. A teacher pointed me in the direction of the music practice area, and the tinkling notes lured me to the end room, where Ava was playing with her back to the door, immediately recognisable by her elegant posture and long blonde hair in a plait. It was a complicated-sounding classical tune, not the sort of thing I knew anything about, but watching her fingers flying across the keys made little bumps pop all over my skin. The same tingling sensation reappears now just thinking about it, and I feel an overwhelming urge to cry.
Eleven
2005
Outside Danny’s house, Ava checked her phone while Lena struggled out of her trainers and slipped on her party shoes. Gareth had sent a message.
Are you there yet?
She scowled and deleted the text.
Lena stashed her trainers behind a large fern in a weathered earthenware pot. Ava was about to ring the bell, but the front door was already open, and Lena barged straight in. The hallway was empty, and they followed the sound of the music to the kitchen.
‘I’d get lost if I lived here,’ Lena said.
Ava nodded, but the house was similar in size to her own. Lena’s flat, in comparison, consisted of a dark, narrow corridor with a handful of tiny rooms leading off it. Just the hallway here was twice as big as her cramped kitchen.
Ava checked her dress in the mirror and adjusted the straps. She wished she didn’t look so worried. She’d get this matter with Gareth sorted, then start enjoying herself.
‘There’s Danny,’ Lena said under her breath before going straight over to him, exaggerating the swing of her hips in her tight skirt, heels wobbling beneath her.
‘Hey, Danny.’
‘Hey, Lena, Ava. How’s it going?’
‘We’ve brought goodies.’ Lena waved the carrier bag at him.
‘Cool. Stick it in the kitchen and help yourselves to a drink. Joe has made a lethal punch – I’d definitely recommend it.’
‘Follow me, girls,’ Joe said.
Lena nudged Ava knowingly, but Joe had long hair and John Lennon glasses and wasn’t her type at all. He looked as if he listened to old hippy music and played a guitar. He was the sort of guy Martha went for. Guilt surfaced the instant she thought about her sister, who would never lie to their parents about where she was going. But she dismissed the thought. Martha and her parents were hundreds of miles away. Joe ladled some bright red punch into two large plastic glasses, dragging her away from her thoughts, before going back to his friends.
‘Let’s have a look round,’ Lena said, tugging Ava’s arm. She leaned in so close, Ava nearly choked on her Chloé perfume, the floral scent making her cough. ‘I want to see the bedrooms,’ she whispered into Ava’s ear.
Ava experienced the usual mix of emotions Lena made her feel. Her best friend always led her along a dangerous path – it was scary, but just so flipping exciting.
A group of girls from school wearing baby-doll tops in bright colours and figure-hugging skirts stood on one side of the room, giggling and sending coy glances over to the boys. Lena waved at them and they acted as if they hadn’t seen her.
‘Losers,’ she said under her breath.
She led Ava back through the hall and up the stairs. The soft pale blue carpet was tricky to negotiate in heels. There were four bedrooms; the first one had coats all over the bed, and Lena shrugged off her fur jacket and waited for Ava to dump her coat too before marching out of the room, her friend following in her wake. The master bedroom was at the front of the house, and she headed straight for it.
‘You can’t go in there,’ Ava said, looking down the wide staircase.
‘Why not? You’re such a scaredy cat. I’m not going to touch anything. Just want to see how the other half live.’
Ava was struck by guilt again. She didn’t like to think of being in Mr and Mrs Seymour’s bedroom. Her mum would have been furious if Ava’s friends had ever gone into hers.
‘I’m waiting here,’ she said, standing up to her friend for once. ‘Hurry up.’
Her phone buzzed. Gareth again. And again.
Wish we’d gone together.
Are you there yet?
What are you wearing?
I’m on my way.
Lena emerged from the bedroom rubbing a lavender-smelling cream into her hands.
‘It’s like a chemist in there, lotions and potions everywhere. How many creams does one woman need? I smell expensive now, like a supermodel. Danny won’t be able to resist me,’ she said with a laugh, fluttering her eyelashes.
Ava was still looking at her phone. ‘Gareth’s seriously getting on my nerves. Having a boyfriend is meant to be fun, isn’t it? Mind you, he’s the only boy who’s ever shown any interest in me.’
‘Ava, loads of boys are going to go for you. You’re gorgeous; you look like a model.’
‘Yeah, but I’m not like you, I find it hard to talk to boys. My face goes bright red and my throat seizes up.’
‘Follow me, babe. I’ll show you how it’s done.’ Lena squeezed her arm. ‘Me and you …’
Ava grinned and joined her in finishing the sentence. ‘… against the world.’
Twelve
Ava
Felix is down at the far end of the garden, watching the fire, his face glowing in the heat. He grins when he sees me.
‘Not bad, is it? As long as the rain holds off, it should last us for the evening.’
‘When did you do all this?’ I ask, looking at the mound of wood piled against the tree.
He stands up and stretches his back. ‘You’ve got Lena to thank for most of it. One of your neighbours provided the wood.’ The sound of crackling fills the air. ‘Right,’ he says. ‘I’ll just nip out to the car and get the potatoes.’
‘Potatoes?’
‘Lena wanted a traditional firework party like people used to have, and Steph offered to organise jacket potatoes. She prepared them all at home and they’re wrapped in foil and ready to go. Food will be done by about eleven, and we’ll have the fireworks ready for midnight. We’re good to go now that the rest of them have arrived.’
‘You’ve had them delivered?’
‘Your boss brought them; he paid for the whole lot. Said it was the least he could do.’
‘Pete?’ Despite the heat from the fire, I shiver. Maybe it’s his way of apologising.
The flames flicker high into the sky and fireworks erupt in the distance. A dog barks loudly, as if sending out a warning. The burning smell fills my senses and transports me back to a holiday cottage in Devon my parents used to take us to, Mum tearing up paper to throw on the fire, chunks of coal glowing with white heat; Martha and I daring each other to touch the fireguard with tiny fingers, my sister pulling my hands away at the last minute, protecting me. I allow myself the thought that I can’t bring myself to voice. Is it Martha who has been tormenting me over the years? Surely she wouldn’t let her resentment towards Lena go that far? Not with her blossoming career. Does she still see Lena as a usurper, taking over her sisterly role? But if it is her, what is she trying to tell me?
‘Earth to Ava,’ Felix says, making me jump. He points to Steph, who is waving at me from the back door.
On my way through to the lounge, I grab a plastic glass and fill it with punch, which most people seem to be avoiding, probably due to the sheer amount of rum Lena threw in. It mixes with the wine I had earlier and my mind feels looser, more relaxed.
Steph leads me over to two women, one of them my friend Esther from the gym, who gives me a beautifully wrapped present but makes me promise to open it later. The other woman Steph introduces as Kate, the girlfriend of a guy from Accounts. Her black hair is shaped in a striking Cleopatra cut, and she’s wearing a dark jumpsuit with chunky lace-up boots. She apologises for not having brought me anything, and I tell her I didn’t expect gifts. She goes off to get a drink, and more friends who have just arrived come over to greet me. The room is full of people now, and heat bounces off the walls, making my back feel prickly with sweat. Some of the work crowd start dancing – it’s that kind of music. There’s a brilliant vibe in the air and I’m just thinking how well it’s going when Steph takes me to one side and tells me Pete has arrived.
‘Lena let him in,’ she says.
The room, which moments earlier felt too hot, feels suddenly chilly. Even though I’d been warned I’d been hoping he wouldn’t turn up.
‘You OK?’ she asks, and rubs my arm.
‘Just wishing he hadn’t come, that’s all.’
‘He’s your ex-boss, remember. After tonight, you can forget him. You don’t need to speak to him, and definitely not on your own. I’m sure he’ll stick with the other guys from work. I can’t imagine he’d want to be alone with you either.’
I nod. ‘You’re right.’
‘Of course I’m right. Why don’t we go and dance and you can shake him out of your system?’
I laugh. ‘No, you go, I’m going to go and chat with my friends over there.’
‘OK.’ She goes off to dance and I wander into the kitchen, where I pretend to listen to one of my friends telling me about his new job, but it’s hard to concentrate knowing Pete is here, in this house. I’ve half an ear on the conversation, but I can’t help remembering, with a shudder, the day everything changed.
It was a Friday. Pete had given everyone else the afternoon off, but I had to stay to finish a funding bid I was helping him with, as the deadline was five o’clock that afternoon. I didn’t mind, thrilled to be working on such an important project.
Pete seemed like the perfect boss. He’d only recently started at the charity, and had taken the staff out for drinks to get to know us. When he had selected me for his first team, I’d been flattered. I was good at my job
and he recognised that. During our regular work drinks in the pub on Fridays, we got on well, conversation flowing between us, and I liked the direction in which he was planning on taking the organisation.
‘Hey, Ava,’ he said. ‘Just you and me left holding the fort today.’ The grin on his face showed he was happy with the situation, but I didn’t think anything of it.
We made our deadline and I was taking my bag out of my drawer, looking forward to my regular Friday night Skype with Ben, when Pete came out of his office holding a bottle of whisky and two glasses. I continued putting my coat on as he set everything down on the filing cabinet.
‘Don’t rush off. I want to thank you for working so hard on this bid.’
‘It’s my job, no need to thank me. A drink would be lovely some other time, but I have plans tonight.’
‘Come on,’ Pete said. ‘Just a quick one.’
‘I’m sorry, I can’t stay.’
‘What plans exactly?’
‘Ben and I have a regular Skype at this time, and it’s during his break at work so I can’t be late.’
He stepped closer. ‘It must be difficult with your boyfriend living miles away. That can’t be much of a relationship.’ He poured a generous amount of whisky into both glasses. I pulled my coat around myself, secured the belt with fingers that weren’t entirely steady. He stepped towards me, forcing me to fall back, then leaned across me and placed his left hand on the wall behind me. With his right hand he touched my face, and I jerked away.
‘No. What are you doing?’ He was so close I could smell coffee and stale cigarette smoke on his breath, and for one terrible moment I thought he was going to kiss me, but he must have seen the revulsion on my face because he dropped his arm and stepped back.
‘Bloody tease,’ he said. ‘You’ve been flirting with me for weeks.’
I ran out of the office, my pulse pounding with adrenalin, unable to believe what had happened. It was the push I needed. I wrote out my resignation letter that evening and spent two hours on the phone to Ben, telling him everything. Well, almost everything. As we discussed starting a new life together in New York, his excitement pulsed down the phone line.
The Leaving Party: An absolutely gripping and addictive psychological thriller Page 6