“I like to hone all my skills,” Mathew said, sweeping her hair back from her face as he kissed her lips one more time. “I’ve always believed there is no point in doing anything if you aren’t the best at it.”
“You certainly know what you’re doing,” Jessica said in a frantic breathy laugh as her body started to sadly become hers again, and they crawled into her bed.
“That went differently than I expected,” Mathew admitted as Jessica slid her body down to his side and rested her head on his bicep.
“Did it?” she asked. “I hope you don’t mean you were disappointed. I’ll be honest—I didn’t get to show off any of my moves. It was your show tonight.”
Mathew’s face fell serious as he scooped her chin into his hand and swept it up toward his face. “Not at all. That was amazing. I just assumed with what happened with that guy at the charity thing the other night, you might not be looking for something like this. Every time I think I have a handle on you, there’s a surprise I don’t see coming.”
“That was very complicated,” she admitted. She considered pulling her chin away but decided it was best to keep their eyes locked on each other. Jessica had enough self-awareness to understand what Mathew was experiencing. This was an old tactic of hers. If she kept someone guessing, then it was hard for them to decide how they really felt about her. A delay approach allowed her enough time to run. But Mathew deserved more than that. He deserved the truth. “Tell me your most vivid memory. What can you see perfectly clear when you close your eyes?”
“Right now it’s the way you looked pressed up against that wall,” he teased, biting at her neck.
“I’m serious.”
“I thought we were going to talk about you,” Mathew cut back quickly.
“We are, but I’m trying to give it some context for you.”
“Fine,” Mathew said, twisting his face up as though he were searching the database of his mind.
“It shouldn’t take any thought at all. It should just be there.”
“The day my father walked out,” he blurted, looking stunned at the admission. “He left my mother, my siblings, and me without any explanation. I remember my mother sitting me down and telling me at sixteen that I was now the man of the house. We were lucky, the money was still there, but it didn’t make his leaving any easier.”
“And what if your father had walked into that ballroom the way Pierre had?”
“He’d have to be carried out on a stretcher,” Mathew asserted. “I haven’t seen him in more than ten years, and if he just showed up in my life, after I was over the shock, someone would have to pull me off the bastard.”
“That’s what it was like for me,” Jessica said, rolling to a sitting position and looking over his chiseled form. “Well maybe it manifests in a different way than wanting to beat the hell out of him. But the shock and the mixed emotions were just overload. I’m fine now.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“He’s one of the most vivid memories I have. The center of my life for a long time, and like you, the source of some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I met Pierre when I was nineteen. I was fresh out of cosmetology school, and I was applying for this low level job on one of his movies. He saw me and scooped me up out of the crowd, giving me a job I was not qualified for. But at the time, I convinced myself he saw something in my talent that others didn’t.”
“You are talented,” Mathew argued, but she rolled her eyes.
“I’ve built those skills over the years. Back then I was just a kid starting out. But he showed me so much attention it built up my self-confidence. I didn’t know much about him, just that he was smart, foreign, and his fame was growing. When he asked me to dinner one night, I felt like the luckiest girl. We hit it off and started I guess what you’d call dating. I ignored the age gap and the catty talk that followed me around the set. I told myself they were just jealous. For two years we kept on that way. He brought me on as lead makeup artist on every one of his films. He flew me around the world. There were jets and exotic dinners and tropical vacations. He was the most over-the-top person I’d ever met. When I thought he was out of huge gestures, he’d do something even bigger than the last. It was more than a fairy tale, it was a dream come true for a girl who thought she’d never amount to very much.”
“I thought you hated that,” Mathew said, cocking a brow at her. “Isn’t that why you ran away from me in a helicopter?”
“I didn’t hate it then. At the time I felt like I’d hit the lottery. I equated those gestures with love, with my own self-worth, and I let myself be blinded to the truth. You know when you wake up from an amazing dream and you’re lying in bed and you keep your eyes closed just praying you won’t wake up and find out none of it was real? I sat there for a quite a while with my eyes shut, pretending I didn’t see all the signs.
“One day I was at our penthouse apartment and a knock at the door changed everything. It was his wife. Two little kids at her side.”
“He was married?”
“I didn’t know,” Jessica shot back quickly, always feeling like no one believed her when she said. It. “I truly had no idea. But this woman seemed to know who I was. She tossed me out of the apartment so fast, made a complete fool of me. What could I do? These two little kids with his blue eyes were staring at me like I’d ruined their lives. Maybe I did.”
“That’s rough,” Mathew said, stroking her arm. “So it was over?”
“I refused to be the other woman,” Jessica said vehemently. “I told him if he wanted to be with me he’d have to leave his wife. Now looking back I can’t believe I ever encouraged a man to walk out on his family. But I was blind. Pierre knew how to talk his way through anything. He’s very clever.”
“But he stayed with his wife?”
“He told me at first he had to. He kept blaming it on their prenup and some legal stuff, but he called me constantly and promised me I was the only woman he ever needed in his life. If you could hear some of the crap he would say, you’d fall out of this bed. It’s ridiculous when I think of it now. I was so stupid, but when you allow someone to build you up as high as he did, you have to remember how much power you’ve given them.” She paused at the fresh pain filling her at the memories. “He did eventually leave his wife though.”
“Really?” Mathew asked, looking stunned by the turn.
“Yes,” she laughed in breathy embarrassment, “because the girl he got pregnant was threating to sue him if he didn’t. I wasn’t the one woman he wanted to be with. I was one of a dozen he had in his life. It demolished my self-confidence. Did this mean I wasn’t actually good at my job? Were all the women who’d attacked me at work right? How foolish could I be to think a man like that could love a woman like me? I decided then that I’d stay more local. I wouldn’t travel the world, working all over the place. I could deal with this shitty apartment and a reliable but not too flashy car if it meant I wouldn’t be around too many men like Pierre. It’s what I had to do for a while. But not forever. Now I’m around men like that, and it doesn’t affect me. I make sure I remember not to get lulled in by their flashy offerings.”
“Like rooftop dinners with private bands?” Mathew asked, and she ached at the unintentional insult.
“I’m not comparing you to Pierre. This is my way of trying to explain why I don’t like the idea of being courted and wooed with flashy things. It clouds reality, and I never want to be that out of control again.”
“It seemed to affect you when you saw him,” Mathew challenged but not accusingly. His tone was more worried. “Are you sure you’re in control now?”
“Just like seeing your father would have affected you,” she countered. “It was a momentary shockwave that has since passed. He’s not the right man for me even if I have all these twisted up memories of my time with him. I’ve managed to rebuild my career and my confidence. I was rattled, but I’m fine now.”
She could feel Mathew looking at her intensely. He
wasn’t convinced.
“And if you saw him again?”
“I’d be perfectly fine. He means nothing to me.”
“Good for you,” Mathew smiled. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine you with rattled self-confidence. You seem to know exactly who you are and what you want.”
“I take comfort in knowing it’ll never happen again. That knowledge helped me understand myself better.”
“Clearly,” Mathew remarked. “Because when a guy tries to sweep you off your feet, you hit him with the broom.”
“Self-preservation.” She shrugged. “I’m not impressed with how much someone can do for me or how far they can take me. The higher someone takes you the farther the fall.”
“I hear you,” Mathew agreed, though she knew he wasn’t finished. “Not everyone is looking to blind you with ostentatious things while they screw you over. Sometimes it’s just nice to experience something amazing with someone amazing.”
“But who defines amazing?” she challenged. “Why are helicopter rides more amazing than a walk in the park. Why are dinners on rooftops better than ordering Chinese and eating it right here in bed?”
“I have about a two page list of answers I could give you why, but I’m assuming your questions are rhetorical.”
“They aren’t. I’m being serious. Can’t you see yourself dropping some of the flash and big gestures and just being normal?”
“Normal?” he asked with an air of being insulted. “I’d like to think I’m a pretty normal guy.”
“You aren’t. How could you be with a private jet and more money than you know what to do with? If you were broke, didn’t have a penny to your name, where would you take me, what would we do?”
“Don’t you think it would be more helpful if you overcame your anxiety and allowed me to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, including all the bells and whistles?”
“You make a valid point,” she said, tapping her chin as if she were thinking it over. “How about we make a deal. You spend a week doing things my way. And I’ll spend a week doing things your way. Whatever you want. As big as you want. Then we’ll see which week was better.”
“Is there sex included in your week?”
“Yes.” She smiled. “After the sex we just had, there better be. I’m worried you’ve ruined me for any other lover. You can’t go playing a woman like a finely tuned piano and expect her to not want more.”
“I will do terrible things to you in this bed, but do we have to eat Chinese food in it? I’m going to level with you, I’m kind of a neat freak, and that idea is giving me the creeps.”
“Fine, no eating in bed. But everything else goes for my week.”
“Who gets the first week?”
“This is a bet, so it should be decided by some kind of contest.”
“First one to get the other to come,” he said, flipping the blankets off his body and exposing his mounting excitement.
“That’s good.” She laughed, readying for the challenge. “You don’t stand a chance. I can have you coming before you even touch me.”
“We’ll see about that.” He looked completely unconvinced, and she didn’t mind being the underdog.
She straddled him, lowering her mouth over his ear and licking her lips. “I’m going to take you in my mouth, all of you. I’m going to swirl my tongue over you and move up and down and up and down, my lips covering you. Sucking, sucking, sucking.”
“Shit,” he groaned, slapping her ass punishingly for her fantastic attempt to win this bet.
“You’re going to be so hard. You’re going to beg me to move faster and faster. You’re going to grab my hair.” She brushed her body lightly and seductively against his without making any direct contact. The contact he was now dying to receive. “You’re going to knot my hair up in your hands and beg me to move faster.” Slinking her body down, her mouth hovered over his hardness, but she didn’t touch. She blew a warm breath over him as his hands did exactly what she’d sensually described. He was tugging her open mouth downward toward his firm rod but she bucked back.
“Who’s going to win?” she asked, flashing her eyes over his cut abs and up at his very tormented and excited face.
“You are,” he said tugging at her hair again. “You’re going to win.”
“Mmm hmm,” she agreed as she took him into her mouth and purred at the sudden tightening of his body. Releasing him suddenly she smiled and looked up at him again.
“You’re not the only one with moves,” she promised. “I like to be the best at things too.”
He opened his mouth to reply but snapped it shut suddenly as her lips came down on him again. Mathew had been right about one thing. There were many ways to be powerful, and Jessica had her own ways to quiet Mathew and his commanding tones.
Chapter 9
“That part of the bet was worth losing. You get the first week,” Mathew said, raking a hand through his dark hair. “I can’t cut out of work or anything, but I’m yours at night and the entire weekend.”
“Luckily I’m currently unemployed,” she said with an unconvincing laugh. “I’ll have more time to make my week better than yours.”
“Is it normal for you to have downtime in your line of work? I wasn’t sure if Texas was a big draw for movies or not.”
“It depends. Plenty of movies are filmed here, but it’s not consistent. Staying close to home is a personal choice that works for me but makes things hard professionally sometimes.” She shrugged, darting her eyes away. “But something always comes up. I could go to this fashion show and designer conference in California for a month or so, but I want to be here to help Libby’s mom. I’m going to go see her this morning.”
“Of course,” Mathew said, not wanting to appear overly excited she wasn’t leaving. “Something will come along, I’m sure. Have you ever considered changing to something different? You are so versatile. I could see you excelling at so many things.”
“I loved my job when I started years ago, but that’s nothing compared to how I feel about it now. Do you know how amazing it feels to believe you are doing exactly what you are meant to do? I got to a point where I could let go of the long list of things I’m terrible at and just embrace the one that feels like my gift. I can’t do math to save my life. I can’t bake a thing. But I can look at someone and know how to make them fall in love with what they see.”
“I can’t say I’m living my passion,” he admitted. “Listening to you talk makes me wonder what the hell I’m doing.”
“Are things going all right at West Oil? It must be pretty quiet with James gone. I bet he stirs a lot of stuff up.”
“Constantly.” Mathew chuckled. “But it keeps it interesting. Like you, I could do something else, something that required less bomb defusing, but I know I’d miss it. James keeps me on my toes. We were on the verge of launching a no-brainer company with very good odds for success. To come to Texas instead and try to save West Oil, I complained, but really I’m enjoying the challenge. Every meeting I walk into, every person I have to convince to give us a chance, is exhilarating to me.”
“Do you think you’ll really be able to do all those things you’re planning? I spent plenty of years hating West Oil on Libby’s behalf because of how her father died while working there. Will it be safer? Will it be better?”
“It will,” he said adamantly. “I won’t stop until it is. I’ll work until the top people in the industry are looking at West Oil as a model for safety.”
“What if you can’t?” she asked, and he watched carefully as she leaned casually against the wall of her painfully small studio apartment. This wasn’t her being argumentative in her normal form. She truly wanted to know.
“I told you when my father left he went without an explanation. There one day and gone the next. It turned out he’d gambled a huge chunk of money away and didn’t want to own up to it. He ran. I remember him as a very weak man. My mother’s family had the money. He stayed to him
self, spent her money, and hid whenever things got tough. I swore I would never do that. If there is a right way to do something, I will. Even if it’s difficult.”
“That’s why you give everything so much thought? You want to make sure you’re on the right side of it.” She paused for a moment and then smirked. “Even though that’s dumb and impossible.”
“Yes. Even though.”
“I believe you when you say you’ll help make things right at West Oil. I know you can. But you’ll have to do it during business hours because you promised me a week to convince you I’m right and you’re wrong.”
“I don’t believe that was the purpose of the contest. I was supposed to show you it’s all right to trust me and that giving in to some exciting, over-the-top adventures would be good for you”
“Semantics,” Jessica said, shooing off his opinion with a wave of his hand.
“James and Libby are back in a couple days. It’s basically smooth sailing until then. I’m all yours. Just tell me where to be and when.”
“Meet me at this address after work. Dress casually.” She slipped a piece of paper into his hand and accepted the long slow kiss he offered. Rising to her tiptoes, she pressed her body to his. “You could just stay,” she said, coiling her arm around his neck. It was a tempting offer, one he struggled to turn down.
“I have to get to the office,” he groaned. A gorgeous seductive woman was waiting for him on the other side of the day, and he knew it would be painfully long to endure. “But I’m looking forward to finding out what you have planned for us.”
“You might not be all that excited. It’ll be a departure from what you’re used to. There won’t be a single scoop of caviar or anything beautiful.”
“If you’re there, then I’ll be looking at something absolutely beautiful.” He kissed her once more and headed down the four flights of stairs that led to the street. He couldn’t believe the eyes-shut, head-first dive he was taking into a woman like Jessica. Dangerous. A departure from his normal calculated approach, but she felt entirely worth it.
The Barrington Billionaires Collection 1 Page 27