Also, and I know you’ll hate this, but I’ve included cash. Plenty of it. Also a prepaid credit card with even more. Fly somewhere new. Be someone new. Do it in a way that doesn’t destroy you bit by bit. Do it somewhere you love.
I won’t know your new name or where you end up. You’ll have true anonymity, even from me. It’s the only way I can let you go. If I know where you are, I’ll get drunk one night and hop a flight to wherever you are.
If you ask yourself why I’m doing this, if that matters to you, I’ll tell you it’s two things I know to be unequivocally true. First, more than anyone I’ve met, you deserve this. Whatever penance you feel you needed to make, you have. The second thing I know without a doubt is that I love you. You might think I’m crazy. You can’t figure out you love someone in the short amount of time we had together. You’re right about that. I didn’t know I loved you during that time. It’s every minute I’ve been without you that makes me sure what we had was love.
Whatever you do, don’t be a stubborn idiot. When you decide what to do, consider your own happiness. Things at the Carle De Blu will be rectified. All your friends who helped me while I was there are being well taken care of. Libby is seeing to that on her trip. Everyone else will be as well, though it might take more time. I’ll see to it. Now is your time. Take it.
Love,
Monroe
Aria clutched the paper so tightly it crumpled under her grip. She hadn’t realized she was crying until tears blotched the ink on the letter. Lifting the contents of the envelope she saw cash, the contact information, and bottle of the cream she loved so much.
“Damn,” she breathed out as she began to read the letter again. She’d been almost certain before she opened it that she’d be tossing its contents into the nearest trash can. Almost certain.
Her mind drifted to the pictures that used to hang on her wall as a child. Paris. Europe. Her backpacking trip. Every dream she had was suddenly at her fingertips with no strings attached.
Cramming the cash and everything else back into the envelope, she clutched it again to her chest. Aria had said no to so many things in the last few years. There was always a reason not to do something. He’d taken all those reasons away. There was only one thing standing between her and freedom. Fear.
There was something about this kind of captivity that no one understood if they hadn’t experienced it. You could hate the chains that held you, but miss the weight of them, the familiarity once they were gone. You could hate a place and still worry when it was time to leave it.
A far-off rumble of thunder echoed in the night, and soon the sky opened up with sheets of unrelenting rain. Like always, drips found their way through the thatched roof and plunked against the wood floor. When lightning crashed nearby and the wind grew fierce, part of the roof tore away. A small section above her bed. The storm howled on, and Aria stared at the sky as rain wet her face; she finally knew: it was time to leave.
Chapter 30
It was with great force that Monroe got through each day without Aria. Like a wound bleeding profusely, he applied pressure to stave off the loss. No matter how low he wanted to sink, someone always pulled him up.
He was positive they were now inventing work in Texas at Libby’s order, just so he’d be forced to stick around. Tonight was Mathew’s birthday, and while they’d been like oil and water, Libby insisted Monroe had to eat. It was a basic human need. He might as well do it with them.
“Someone should get me a shirt that says fifth wheel,” Monroe suggested as James, Libby, Mathew, and his girlfriend, Jessica, took a seat in the large corner booth.
Jessica, with her edgy eye makeup and big bangle bracelets, waved him off. “These two are one stupid comment away from being kicked to the curb, so the math could change pretty quickly.”
James opened the wine list and looked at Monroe with a knowing look. “I’d like to say she’s kidding, but these two are a force to be reckoned with. Now with a baby on the way I know I have to keep my ass in line.”
Mathew, looking like he had something to get off his chest, cut in. “Can we get this out of the way early? If a hoard of clapping waitstaff comes over singing happy birthday and shoving cake in front of me, heads will roll.”
Monroe could see little smirks on all their faces as Libby innocently tried to act surprised. “Would we ever do anything that embarrassing to you? I mean it would be repaying you for the time we were eating at that very exclusive downtown restaurant for my birthday and you had a man who makes balloon animals come in and make me a crown. I had to wear that thing through the whole meal because I was too afraid to offend that sad clown.”
“Or,” James recounted, “it could be payback for the time a few years ago when you and I were in Boston and you told that guy at the bar you saw me on a wanted poster at the supermarket. The cops pulled me out of there, and you had a damn good laugh about that.”
“If you could have seen your face,” Mathew laughed, though he did have a look of apology. “It was stupid. We could have gotten in a lot of trouble for that stunt. Let’s all agree we’re way too old for that stuff now.”
“I’ll agree to nothing of the sort,” Libby countered playfully. “You’ll get your present tonight, whether you like it or not.”
They settled in to their meals and continued their playful banter. Occasionally one of the men would be foolish enough to bring up some work detail and Libby or Jessica would lightheartedly scold them.
Monroe watched the four of them as though it were a formula to be decoded. How had they all managed to sort out their relationships and he had failed so miserably? From all accounts each of them had struggled, climbed great hurdles, to form the lasting relationship they had today.
“I should have chased her,” Monroe said, interrupting whatever banter was happening, and eyes around the table stared at him. “I gave up too easily, right? More than that, I gave her a way to disappear so I could never find her. You were right, Libby. I really am an idiot.”
“Monroe,” Libby replied sternly, “I sat across from that girl. I looked her right in the eye. She didn’t want to be chased. She didn’t want to be won back. She was broken. Space was the only thing that would help her, and you were brave enough to give it to her. Kind enough.”
“I could have convinced her to come back with me. If I’d gone down with you two and begged her in person, she would have come.” Monroe stared at this half eaten steak and felt queasy. As if he’d been made drunk by reality.
“I agree,” Mathew said coolly, and Jessica shot an elbow into his ribs. Getting his breath back, he continued, “Let me finish. From what I’ve heard, she probably would have come here with you. Maybe she would have forgiven you. But it’s like snipping flowers and sticking them in a vase. They look beautiful at first. The water you give them is enough for a while. But at some point it stops being enough to sustain them. They wilt. They die. You could have made her come with you, but you couldn’t have fixed her problems. Not until she wanted help. Not until she was ready.”
“Wow,” Jessica said, patting gently at the spot where she’d hit him with her elbow, “that was pretty profound. Is that what you did with me?”
“No.” He laughed. “That’s what you did with me.”
Chapter 31
“It’s pouring,” Jessica groaned as they stepped out of the restaurant but kept dry under the large canopy out front. “Should we cancel the next spot on the birthday tour? I’m not dressed for this weather. These shoes are suede.”
“I like that idea,” Mathew beamed. “Let’s call it a night. I have the best present right here.” He grabbed Jessica by the waist and pulled her in close.
“We were going to walk,” Libby reminded them. “You’ll need to call the car service and have them pick us up here.”
James reached for his phone and began to dial as a wet, disheveled female bumped into him. The phone went flying and landed with a sploosh in a puddle. “Shit,” he called out, bending down and
snatching up the phone.
“I need help,” the voice called from beneath a mess of soaked hair.
“What’s the matter?” Monroe asked, closing in on the woman and losing his breath as she looked up at him. “Aria?”
“I need help,” she repeated, still standing outside the canopy, drenched by rain. “I want to know the truth. I want to know what really happened when I was three.”
“Okay,” Monroe said, frozen for a moment by shock. “Get out of the rain.” He took her hand and led her under the canopy.
Libby sprang right into action. “James, give her your coat,” she said, practically yanking it off of him.
With a stumble he was free of it. “If my arms are still in there, can I have them back?”
“She’s soaked and cold,” Libby said, as she draped it over her shoulders. “How did you get here? How did you find us?”
“I used the money Monroe gave me to book a ticket to Europe,” she explained, never taking her glittering eyes off of him. “I was all ready to go. Then I heard them call for a flight here, and I realized that was the plane I wanted to be on. I got to town found the big building with James’s name on it and begged the receptionist to tell me where you all were. Please don’t be mad at her; I really was relentless.”
“We’ll get her a fruit basket in the morning,” James assured her.
Aria grabbed Monroe’s hand and continued on desperately, “You said you’d do anything to help me. I just wasn’t sure I wanted it. Now I know I can’t live my life like this anymore. You gave me the opportunity to hide. It’s what I thought I wanted, until I realized it meant I’d be giving you up too. So help me.”
“We will,” James said, tucking his soaking wet phone away.
Aria shook her head as though she were just now realizing there was anyone else in the world besides Monroe. “I don’t want to put you all through this. I have no idea where it will take me, what I will find out.”
James tipped his chin back confidently as though he wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Every one of us,” he said, gesturing to the five people who had formed a circle around her, “has a skill that might help. A contact that could be useful. Or a shoulder to lean on. Even if you think you can convince the rest of us not to get involved, you are too smart to believe you can get Libby to mind her own business.”
Libby looked at James fondly. “I’m taking that as a high compliment,” she said with a smile.
Mathew looked at them all skeptically. “Before you volunteer me or my contacts, I think we should know exactly what is going on here. What truth are you looking for, and how much trouble are we going to get in by trying to find it?”
James laughed, “You’ll have to forgive Mathew. Essentially the only way any of us have stayed alive and out of the poor house is because he’s the human equivalent of a yield sign. Let’s find somewhere dry and warm, and you can tell us what’s going on.”
“Tomorrow,” Libby said, stepping into the rain and hailing the first passing cab. She opened the rear door and gestured for Monroe and Aria to get in. “Let them be tonight.”
Monroe still couldn’t believe Aria was here, soaked to the bone, desperate for his help. “Come on,” he said, tossing his arm over her shivering shoulder and leading her to the cab. “I’ll warm you up.”
Chapter 32
“I’m so sorry to show up like this and ruin the night,” Aria said quietly as she pushed her wet hair off her face. “I haven’t been fair to you.”
“If nothing good happens in my life again, this would be enough to keep me grateful until I die. Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was sure I was screwing it up. Screwing everything up.”
“No,” she said, clutching his face in her hands. “Giving me the power to go anywhere gave me the freedom to realize I wanted to be here. I’m not sure anything else would have woken me up.”
“You’re all right now,” he said, kissing her like a drowning man gasping for air. “I will help you however I can. So will everyone else. You heard them.”
“But why? I hadn’t even met the other two,” Aria said, her face turned with confusion.
“I think you won Libby’s respect, her admiration. And I think they’d do anything for her, and she’d do anything for you.”
“That’s some ripple effect,” Aria said, pressing her head to his chest as the cab broke free of the traffic and headed for his hotel. “Your heart is racing,” she said, as his arms squeezed tightly on her.
“It’s finally working again.”
The rain had slowed as the cab pulled up to the hotel and Monroe hesitated, wondering if this was a mirage, something that would evaporate if he moved too quickly.
“I’m really here,” she whispered, kissing his lips gently. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Don’t start reading my mind,” he said as she took his hand and stepped out into the falling rain. “Once I get you upstairs, you won’t want to know all the thoughts I have of you in my bed.”
“Tell me every single one,” she begged as they raced, their shoes squishing across the marble floor toward the elevator.
“I’ll show you,” he growled into her ear as he kissed his way down her neck. “You’re going to have to lose the coat. I’m not sure I can kiss you while you smell like James West.”
“Oh no,” she said, realizing she’d essentially stolen his coat and whatever contents it held. “We have to get this back to him. Hit the button for the lobby.”
“Not a chance,” he said, as the elevator doors opened on his floor, and he tugged her out. “We can’t go out in that storm.”
“It was clearing up,” Aria argued, slipping out of the coat and folding it neatly over her arm as they reached his room. “It’s the right thing to do.”
“The right thing to do has nothing to do with that stupid coat,” he said as he pushed open the door and snatched up the coat from her hands and threw it on the floor.
She pulled away from his kiss and stared nervously at him. “It’s more than this for you right?”
“This is the cherry on top of the most amazing, fulfilling, perfect ice cream sundae I’ve ever seen. It’s a plump, red, juicy cherry that I’m so happy I get to eat. But it’s the sundae that fills me up.” He nibbled on her lip as he stripped her soaking wet clothes away from her body. A shiver ran the length of her, and he instantly felt the need to warm her.
Yanking back the thick down comforter on the bed, he laid her down and covered her quickly.
“What are you doing?” she asked, nervous her question had insulted him and he’d changed his mind. Instead he rounded the bed, undressed, and climbed in beside her.
“Sleep, be warm, and when we wake up, I’ll make you feel so good your legs will shake for all the right reasons, not because you’re cold.” He brought her body to his and wrapped her up like a present on Christmas Eve.
“I didn’t mean we shouldn’t when I asked you that,” she said, her words thick with apology. “I mean I can FEEL pretty clearly that you want to. I do too.”
“You won’t be able to use that as your indicator when we have sex. Anytime I’m around you, I’m going to be this ready.” He rubbed his hardness against her. “We’d have to become complete shut-ins and live off room service. Our vitamin D would dwindle from lack of sunlight.”
“I got it,” Aria laughed, fitting herself into his warmth perfectly. “The best sleep I’ve had in many years were the nights I spent in your arms.”
“I wasn’t sure I’d ever hold you again,” Monroe admitted as he kissed her forehead gently. “You should plan on getting good sleep for a long time. I’m not letting you go again.”
Chapter 33
“Put your pants on and answer the door,” a voice boomed, and Monroe practically fell out of bed.
“Who is it?” Aria asked, a hand over her thumping heart. “What time is it?”
The voice on the other side of the door grew louder. “It’s time to give me back my
coat, my wallet, and my work cell phone.”
“James,” Monroe sighed, hopping awkwardly as he pulled his pants and a shirt on. “You stay there.”
“I’m not dressed.”
“I know,” Monroe remarked. “And I’d like to keep it that way.” When he opened the door a few inches James barked again.
“Coat. Wallet. Work cell.”
“Here,” Monroe said, cramming everything through the small opening in the door. “Goodbye.”
“Not goodbye,” James corrected. “Good morning. Mathew has worked some magic and cleared exactly an hour and twenty minutes for us to meet and get a handle on Aria’s situation. He’ll kill us both if we miss it. I’ll be in the car out front. You have fifteen minutes.”
“That will teach you to delay sex until the morning,” Aria said, already making a break to be the first one in the shower.
After a rushed version of his morning routine, Monroe grabbed his bag and headed downstairs with Aria. “How much are you going to share with them?”
“All of it,” she said, looking surprised by the question. “It doesn’t make much sense to exclude anything.”
“What about your mother?”
“I don’t know,” Aria shrugged, falling silent and staying that way for the rest of the ride to the West Oil building. In the lobby someone took their coffee and breakfast order. Then another person took their coats. By the time James finished giving her a brief tour of the place, the conference room was filled with their food and drink order. Jessica, Mathew, and Libby were there as well.
“Thank you guys for coming,” Aria edged out nervously. “I’m not really sure how you’ll be able to help. Maybe there isn’t anything we can do, but it’s still nice to have you here.”
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