“Yeah, and when Eve ditched him at the altar, you hated Eve, and me by association. Y’all didn’t talk to me for a year.”
He snorted. “I doubt it was a year.”
“It was,” she said, going back to the menu. “I counted.”
“Okay, that was a rough time for all of us. We took sides. The whole town did.” He glanced up from his menu. “And you could have stopped her.”
There. He’d said it. They’d never talked about this. For years, he’d wanted to take Sadie aside and question her. Why hadn’t she told anyone that Eve changed her mind? When did she know? In other words, what did she know and when did she know it?
“I couldn’t stop her. I tried.”
“By drivin’ her away from the church where everybody was waitin’ for her?”
Her lower lip quivered, and guilt spiked through him. “I tried to talk some sense into her. I did. You weren’t there. You don’t know. She was so…so upset.”
“Upset?” Lincoln tamped down the hot streak of anger that pulsed through him. “You should have seen my brother. She might as well have ripped his heart clear out of his chest. It would have been kinder.”
“I’m so sorry, Lincoln.” She glanced up at him briefly, then lowered her gaze.
Before those eyes that shimmered with tears spilled over, he pulled back. “I know you are. And it wasn’t your fault.”
“Thank you,” she said, seeming to acknowledge his generosity in forgiving her.
“Eve came back to town, Mima forgave all, Jackson is doing great, and now we’re all friends again.”
While that oversimplified things, he didn’t see any point in continuing to peel back layers of skin just to look at the blood and tissue. There was no reason he and Sadie couldn’t be friends now.
“I guess so.” She shrugged. “Except friends see each other sometimes. They talk. Have fun together.”
“What do you call this?” He waved to their surroundings.
“I call it you feel guilty. Oh, and don’t forget ‘responsible.’” She held up air quotes.
“You got me. I did say that. But I’m having fun, and we’re talkin’.”
She went all wide-eyed. “You’re having fun?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Well, yeah, but…” Her cheeks flushed a little then. “Never mind.”
“It isn’t that I don’t like you. You’re beautiful and sweet. Maybe…just a little too sweet for me.”
She made a face. “You know, I hate being called sweet probably as much as you like being called nice.”
“You can’t fight who you are.”
“I’m not doin’ that. It’s just that I’m a little more complicated that everyone thinks. Give me some credit, yeah?”
“Okay. But you love kids, you’re taking a pittance of a salary to be the town’s first teacher, you visit the struggling parents of your students. You bring them pies and listen to them complain. You ask your friends to do career day for the kids. You tell the children you love them all. And you don’t want to bother anyone who might want to take you to the hospital to get checked out.”
“That’s not why I don’t want to go.” She met his eyes. “Now, you answer a personal question.”
He swallowed, not knowing what to expect. “Go ahead.”
“Why don’t you date any women from Stone Ridge?”
He relaxed at the question. An easy one. “Look, I compete on the rodeo circuit. Not interested in competing for a woman’s heart, too. That’s just supposed to…happen.”
“Aha, so you do believe it could happen.”
“I mean, sure, it’s possible. Just not likely. Look at Jackson and Eve. Epic disaster. They were way too young to get married and look what happened. Then he marries a country singer and it lasts three whole months. My parents didn’t work, either. Same for Eve’s parents. And now there’s Derek and Pamela Ann, just the latest in a hit parade of breakups.”
“Those couples were all young.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
She quirked a brow. “Lincoln, we’re not that young anymore.”
“Doesn’t change facts. Not for me.”
“Well, I’m sad for you.” She straightened and closed her menu. “I’m gettin’ married someday and probably soon, too. I want three children. I’m going to be a teacher and have summers off to be with my children. My husband and I can both work.”
“Sounds like you have it all worked out.”
He wanted to dislike her for planning her future husband’s life before he knew what hit him. But he found her way too adorable and sexy to be mad. Plus, he’d smiled more in the past few hours than in recent memory.
“I know what I want, now I just have to find the right man.”
“You’re definitely in the right town. Plenty to choose from. But I have to believe that your future husband will not be too happy to find out the way men chased after you.”
“Oh, no. Once I’m taken, I’m taken. Everyone will know it.”
He changed the subject. “Funny you should mention that teaching is your calling. I guess the rodeo is mine.”
“I thought you would say ranching.”
“Ranching, in my case, is more of a legacy than a calling.”
“Is it hard to juggle both?”
He’d never been asked that question. Normally he’d spit out an answer to that question in two seconds. The rodeo was the only thing he could truly call his own. He hadn’t been born into it, unlike ranching. But lately the circuit drained him, and not just his wallet. Even if successful, he couldn’t win every single time. Losing hurt. No cowboy liked to lose but Lincoln hated it more than most.
“It’s not hard,” he lied.
“I bet the kids on the circuit love you. The children here like you. Especially Jimmy Ray.”
“If I’m good with children, it’s because I pretty much raised Jackson and Daisy after our mother left. Hank wasn’t much help and Mima and Pop were aging. Pop was already sick with a weak heart, and so I chipped in more as the oldest. Once I got my driver’s license, I drove us all to school and back every day. Helped them with homework. Sometimes cooked dinner.”
“It’s like you’ve already raised a family.”
He nodded. “I know what makes kids happy. They want to be the center of attention at all times.”
“That’s not true, but if it is, that’s not what they need. Kids need to learn that they can’t be the center of everything.”
“Tell that to a little girl who’s crying for her mother every night.” Lincoln shut his menu and signaled for the waitress. “I’m having the T-bone.”
* * *
Sadie swallowed hard at the turn of their conversation. She pictured poor little Daisy crying all night for her mother. And she wondered if, after he’d gone to bed and no one could see him, Lincoln also cried for his mother.
What kind of a woman would abandon her family? Her young children?
No one talked about Maggie Carver anymore. Once, Sadie asked her mother about Maggie, only to hear Mom say, “If I can’t say anything nice, I don’t say anything at all.”
Silence followed, long and deep.
Sadie didn’t know Lincoln carried such a responsibility for his family, but now that she’d heard it from him, it made sense. It might be why he appeared so serious most of the time. Not just a rancher but a stand-in father. It would also be why he felt so responsible for what happened today. And the reason he’d taken her to dinner.
She sighed, rapidly losing all hope that he might be interested in more than her concussion. At one time, she and Eve planned their lives with the Carver men. Eve and Jackson were high school sweethearts, and Sadie put herself front and center with Lincoln frequently. But he’d never seemed to notice her, other than as an appendage to Eve.
Still, she’d foolishly daydreamed that someday she and Eve would actually be not just best friends but sisters-in-law. Family. Side by side, they’d raise more Carver cowboys. A few girls thr
own in for good measure, if they were lucky.
But she lived in the real world now.
Her heart already broken once, Sadie understood life wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows. After dinner, they rode quietly for a few minutes and then Lincoln made a turn that would take them farther south.
“Where are we going?”
He took his time answering, adjusting his mirror first. “To the hospital.”
“What?” she turned in her seat. “Are you serious? You tricked me. Take me to dinner, and then the hospital? Was this your plan all along?”
“No. I only came up with it when we were at Pamela Ann’s.”
“Great, Lincoln. Nothing like running it by me first.”
“You would have said no.”
“You know what? Technically, I think this is called kidnapping. You’re taking me somewhere I don’t want to go.”
“I’m taking you someplace you need to go. Why are you being so damned stubborn about this?”
“Because I’m fine. And…they’ll want to do a CAT scan.”
The unwelcome tug of fear crept in slowly, ready to pounce. She’d had a CAT scan once, in college, when a thorough doctor wanted to rule out anything more serious contributing to her occasional migraines. Her college boyfriend, Martin, dropped her off, not even coming inside with her. And she’d discovered a huge weakness. Tight, enclosed spaces. After her complete meltdown, the doctor informed her that next time, she could consider a mild sedative.
Conversation stopped as Sadie gave Lincoln the silent treatment. When he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, he turned to her. His eyes tipped down at the sides, giving him a constantly worried look.
He squeezed her hand. “Please, sweetheart, do this for me.”
She went absolutely liquid at the sound of his deep and sultry voice. Those blue eyes. Please. Sweetheart.
Yeah, she was a goner.
“Um…I…see the thing is, I’m kind of afraid of tight…spaces.”
“Aw, okay. Not a big deal. I don’t like them, either. All you have to do is picture your happy place. Just close your eyes and have a little dream.”
Close your eyes and have a little dream.
What did Lincoln dream about? Winning the championship? Hooking up with that year’s rodeo queen?
She shook her head to clear that image. Well, it could be different this time. It had been a few years since her last CAT scan. This time would be easier, with Lincoln here, waiting in the lobby. Holding her hand if she got lucky. He led her into the emergency room, hand low on her back, completely unaware of how she tingled at the weight of his hand. Such a good man. So strong.
And don’t forget annoying.
“Hi, I’m…I fell earlier today?” she explained to the triage nurse. “No big deal.”
“Knocked out cold,” Lincoln said from behind her.
She glared at him. “He’s exaggerating.”
“Nope, he’s not.” He actually winked at Sadie.
After she’d filled out paperwork and had an admittance bracelet taped to her wrist, they both walked to the waiting room. Lincoln stretched his legs out and sat on a plastic chair in the sterile room. The sounds of the ER in a larger city enveloped them. A doctor rushed through the “personnel only” double doors. A child cried. The occasional squawk of the public address system rang out.
“Code Blue, room ten. Code Blue.”
Someone crashing. The entire crash team would be on their way to room ten.
“It could be a while, you know. Hope you don’t mind spending your Friday night in the Emergency Room,” she grumbled.
“That’s okay.” He crossed his arms and tipped his Stetson to partially cover his eyes. “I’ll wait for you here and nap. Unless you want me with you.”
“No,” she said too quickly. “I think only family is allowed, anyway.”
“Right. I’ll be right here.”
She sure didn’t want Lincoln to see her have another meltdown. He would feel responsible, all over again. And he’d been responsible for enough people in his life. She hardly wanted to add herself to the mix. This was, after all, her only weakness.
Two long hours later, in which she sat beside Lincoln deliberately not talking to him, the nurse finally came for her. That meant they’d finally arrived at the non-emergency patients. She didn’t want to break it to Lincoln, but someone who walked in with a possible head injury, able to formulate complete sentences, would not be seen first. That’s what triage nurses were for.
Another hour of waiting by herself, and the nurse finally took Sadie to the machine and asked her to lie down. She pictured her happy place, at the moment, the lush forest of Humboldt County. Her favorite romance series was set there, with a handsome bartender played by Lincoln, and a pretty nurse midwife played by herself. Naturally.
But no matter how hard she tried to imagine fly fishing on the river and the quirky people of the small town, she could not forget that she was trapped. In a tight and dark space, where it became a bit harder to breathe with every passing moment she slid farther from the opening. What happened if the machine broke down? Power outage? What about an earthquake? Would everyone run out of here and forget about her? Would she then die of oxygen deprivation?
Could she crawl out of here on her hands and knees? Was there even enough room to turn over? Once she could no longer catch her breath, she realized she was hyperventilating. Or possibly having a heart attack. Her hands were numb and her chest tight. She was suffocating.
Lord, she was going to die.
And all this without telling Lincoln that she might love him a little bit. Too bad if he didn’t like it. Damn the stupid cowboy. She didn’t want to be attracted to him. Not with this wretched one-sided infatuation that had lasted over a decade.
“Are you okay in there?” the technician asked.
“No,” she whined quietly. “I…I think I’m dying.”
“We’re almost done, honey.”
“Please…please get me out of here.”
To her horror, a single tear slid down her cheek. Shortly after, another. And then more where those came from. Sloshing down her cheeks and wetting her lips. But she stayed, because God forbid she neglected to follow doctor’s orders. Lincoln was right. She followed the rules, and here, doctors were the authority. Because Sadie was always an excellent student, a great girlfriend, a good daughter, and sister. Always. Because she followed expectations and did as told. Not like Beau, or even Eve, who did what she wanted, damn the torpedoes. Or something.
Finally, thank you Lord, they slid her back out of the giant tube. Her legs trembled and shook.
“Honey, why didn’t you tell us you’re claustrophobic?” the technician said, offering his hand.
“I only had one other CAT scan and I thought maybe…I don’t know…” She sobbed.
The technician’s face went white. “Oh, hey, hey, there. Wait right here. I’ll get your husband.”
“H-he’s not…my husband.”
“Okay, I’ll get the man who brought you in here.”
“No. I’m fine.” She wiped tears away. “I just need to get outside. Fresh air, lots of room, and I’ll be fine.”
“All right, then.” He eyed her dubiously and handed her a tissue. “I’ll get these films to my attending, and we should know something shortly.”
“Sure,” Sadie said. “I’m sorry. And thank you.”
With that, she ran out of the room like the hounds of hell were on her heels. She wanted oxygen.
Room. Wide open spaces.
Chapter 6
Lincoln paced the white linoleum floors of the emergency room. Nap? Ha! He’d been deluding himself. Sadie had been behind those double doors for a long while. Yeah, sure, he knew that these things took time. Maybe they were waiting for the doctor to read the results. No point in bringing her all the way here if they weren’t going to have an answer tonight.
He just wanted her to be okay.
Needed her to be okay.
Lincoln pulled out the phone he rarely used. He required a distraction. Even with cell reception spotty in parts of Stone Ridge, he carried the phone around anyway. He couldn’t discount the fact that at some point he might actually need the thing and be able to use it. This might be one of those times.
He stepped outside into the now cold dark night. His brother Jackson answered on the fourth ring.
“Hey, bud! What’s up?”
Should Lincoln tell him about Sadie? Nah, he wanted a distraction from all these intense emotions she’d brought up in him. Best not to mention her name. Jackson acted squirrely about the mention of something or someone even remotely having to do with Eve. Not visiting home for years, he didn’t quite understand that life moved on and people in a small and tight-knit community couldn’t stay angry at each other forever.
“Just waitin’ for a friend. I’m in Kerrville.”
At the hospital waiting for Sadie to get a scan since she got knocked out cold when I lassoed her. He didn’t say any of this out loud because he hadn’t phoned to give Jackson a laugh.
“How’s the Nashville scene?”
Maybe if he heard about all the beautiful women, both starlets and groupies, he’d forget about Sadie.
Because there were far more beautiful women in the world than Sadie Stephens. Some rodeo queens, for instance. He’d slept with a couple and found them empty-headed. He feared the emptiness might rub off on him. With Sadie, there seemed to be an internal light that gleamed from somewhere deep inside and lit her up. Her bright eyes were always brimming with intelligence. She also seemed to notice the smallest of details. And she had the most incredible smile. Not classically beautiful, but nevertheless a knockout.
And a first-class klutz.
He’d call that her only fault, but he couldn’t forget the fact that she’d planned out her future husband’s life without telling him. But she wanted a family, and she should have one. She loved children and they loved her.
“…Anyway, I think this new recording contract might be the one that takes me to the next level. I like the producer. Got some great songs,” Jackson was saying.
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