“That is completely nonsensical. They aren’t an addictive drug.”
“Oh, yes, they are, and you, my man, have just become my dealer.”
“Just don’t get any crumbs in my studio.”
“I make no promises.” As he shoveled chips into his mouth, Ben scrolled on his phone. “Got it!” He set the chips aside and held out his phone. Someone had snapped a picture of Jo and Nolan entering the hospital. Without her ridiculous superhero masks, Jo was the most recognizable member of Rockstars Anonymous.
Dax stared at the picture, the way Jo kept her eyes trained on the ground. That wasn’t her. She was spunky, sarcastic, and confident.
Now, this one picture stripped everything from her.
“Earth to Dax.” Ben’s lips drew down as he studied Dax.
Dax looked away and handed the phone back. “Let’s get to work.”
Ben cracked open his seltzer and took a long drink, still not taking his eyes from Dax. “You’re worried about her.”
“Aren’t you? Jo spent so long hiding this pregnancy from the world. She doesn’t want it to become the story of who Jo Jackson is. And that’s what’s happening.”
“Jo, out of any of us, can take care of herself.” Ben lifted one brow.
“She shouldn’t have to.” He stood and paced to where he’d left his guitar.
Music made sense to him. Lyrics had meaning. It was all he’d clung to most of his life.
He didn’t know if he’d ever understand Jo, but he wanted to.
If she’d let him.
13
Jo
Jo had actively tried to stay out of the media throughout her career. She let Noah suck up all the media oxygen with his planned scandals. The magazines painted him as a bad boy who did the wrong thing frequently. And she knew that was wrong; she knew Noah was more than that.
So, why did she believe what they said about her?
Jo Jackson was officially news. The blogs identified Nolan from the pictures at the hospital, and everything went downhill from that. She could still hear Melanie’s exasperation when they told her what they’d planned.
According to Melanie, she’d had to put in a lot of work to change the narrative of the Drew Stone tour after Drew fell in love with a dancer.
And now, Jo had put the tour right back in the spotlight. Nolan returned to Drew, telling her everything would be okay.
Jo wanted to close her laptop, to get away from the viciousness of the blogging world that compared her pregnancy looks to other celebs. The blogs that chastised her for getting pregnant, the ones debating if the pink-haired rocker was really capable of being a mother.
They didn’t know her, but they voiced all the same questions Jo had about herself.
There was no getting away from them. Doctor Lawrence wanted to see her weekly up until she gave birth. She’d told Jo it was okay to get up and move a little—take that, Dax—as long as she wasn’t on her feet for long.
And what she wanted most of all? A shower.
Sitting on the edge of her bed, she dug her toes into the plush white carpet. She still had another month of this, and she wasn’t sure how she’d survive it.
Sighing, she stood and slid her sweatpants down her legs, kicking them off. Now, her shirt. This was the hard part. Lifting her arms, she tried to pull, to escape the too tight fabric. Everything was too tight these days.
Jo tried to reach high enough to pull it over her head. The movement threw her off balance, and she fell back onto the bed. This wasn’t working.
Huffing out a breath, she stared at the bathroom door. What now? She didn’t know if Dax was home from the recording studio. He’d spent the last few days working on his new music.
A knock sounded on her door. Jo looked down at her pantless self. “Who is it?”
“Doctor Lawrence.”
Jo didn’t know why her doctor was here, but she’d take any help she could get, and besides, the doc would be all up in her lady business soon. “Come in.”
Doctor Lawrence had the decency not to laugh when she saw Jo with her shirt tangled around her neck. “I take it you need some help?”
“Please.” Jo sighed. “I want to take a shower.”
The woman raised a brow. “No shower. We want you off your feet, remember? I’ll draw you a bath.”
Before Jo could argue, Doctor Lawrence disappeared into the bathroom. Jo had never been a bath person. There was something about stewing in her own filth that grossed her out. Baths didn’t feel clean.
Doctor Lawrence returned. “Now, let’s get you undressed.”
Jo studied her for a moment. “Why are you here?”
“My son asked me to stop by to check on you on my way home from work.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.”
“For my favorite patient? Yes, I did. Now, up up. Let’s get you into that bath.”
Jo had never been anyone’s favorite. She tried to stay in the shadow of people greater than herself. She wasn’t sure how it made her feel.
“Where did you find bubbles?” Jo stared at the tub, letting the eucalyptus scent wrap around her.
“Dax keeps aromatherapy bubbles in each guest bathroom. He likes to anticipate the needs of any guests, even though he doesn’t invite many people to his home.”
Doctor Lawrence helped Jo into the tub, and Jo lowered herself, letting the warmth of the water relax her.
“Dax is like a real adult, isn’t he?” Jo cringed at her own words. “I mean, I’m in my late twenties, and I still live off takeout in a one-bedroom apartment. Dax… he has aromatherapy bubbles.”
Doctor Lawrence chuckled, giving Jo an indulgent smile. “Would you like me to leave so you can have privacy?”
Jo hadn’t talked to a single other person all day. She’d ignored her phone and slept in, waking after Dax left. “No. Stay and talk to me.”
Doctor Lawrence closed the toilet lid and took a seat.
Jo wasn’t blind to how ridiculous this was. Her doctor was hanging out in her bathroom with her at a house that just happened to be owned by the doctor’s son.
Doctor Lawrence smiled. “Jo, having a baby is just about the most adult thing you can do.”
“So, you’re saying there’s a chance I can out-adult Dax?”
“Dear, my son has acted like an adult since he was twelve years old. He has practice. He isn’t having a baby, but he is taking care of a woman who is.”
There was a question Jo hadn’t been able to figure out. Why?
As if sensing her words, Doctor Lawrence leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I remember the day Dax met you.”
Jo only had a vague recollection. “How do you remember that?”
“You need to understand something about Dax. He has been considered a prodigy since he was very young. Colleges were throwing scholarships at him years before he’d even graduated high school. For many people, living with constant attention energizes them, gives them confidence and swagger.”
Swagger? Yes, Drew, Noah, and Ben had the swagger down.
“For my boy, it did the opposite. We ended up pulling him from school so he could finish online and not face all the people who wanted a piece of him. All the attention gave him anxiety that only his music could soften. He has always wanted music to be his life, but he wasn’t willing to pay the cost. Before he joined your rockstar group, he didn’t have a single friend in the music industry, in part, because he insisted on anonymity. Then, he met you.”
“Our group has done a lot for me too. The guys are like family.”
She shook her head. “I don’t mean the entire group, though he does value them. But the day he met you, Jo. It was the first time I saw Dax want to be a part of something. He told me all about you. I can’t remember any other time hearing him speak so much. He’s always been quiet, even with me and my husband.”
Jo skimmed a hand through the bubbles, not willing to admit how great the bath felt. Doctor Lawrence’s words couldn�
�t be true. “But Dax has never liked me. That’s why I was so surprised he offered to let me live here.”
“I won’t say anymore on the subject, except that maybe you need to look deeper than the stoic face he shows the world. He gives the best parts of himself to his music. I think it’s time someone convinced him to save some of the pieces for life.” She stood. “I’m going to fix you something to eat before I leave. Holler when you want to get out.”
She left a stunned Jo behind.
Look deeper.
Jo sank lower in the water before slipping under the surface, letting all sound fade. She emerged with a gasp, water streaming through her hair, down her face.
Putting a hand over her beating heart, she leaned back, closing her eyes. This was not normal. Having a baby who could never learn his father’s identity.
Living with someone she was starting to think she didn’t know at all.
Ignoring calls not only from her dad, but also from Noah.
Doctor Lawrence returned to help her from the bath, wrapping a fluffy robe around her.
“Knowing Dax, he’s been preparing you very healthy meals—so I figured you could use one night of comfort food.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be a doctor?” Jo laughed.
“Yes, but sometimes we need to break the rules.” She twisted Jo’s wet hair into a bun and tied it before helping her to the bed. A plate sat on the bedside table.
“Grilled cheese?” Jo’s stomach rumbled at the thought.
Doctor Lawrence pulled the blankets up over Jo’s legs and handed her the plate. “I have to get home to my husband. Dax should be back shortly. If you need anything, Jo, call me. Okay?”
Jo nodded. “Doc?”
Doctor Lawrence turned back. “Yes?”
“Thank you.”
She smiled. “I don’t know where you learned you don’t deserve people caring about you, but it’s not true.”
When she was gone, Jo looked at her phone, noting three missed calls from her father. Was Doc right? Did Jo not think she deserved help?
She took a bite of her grilled cheese and powered off her phone. One hand rubbed her belly absently. “I’m going to be better for you, little alien. I promise. You’ll never have to wonder if anyone loves you.”
Jo was tired of being hungry, but it didn’t stop the cravings. She needed something sweet, no doubt something Dax didn’t have in his house.
The kitchen was dark when she stepped out of her room, her phone pressed to her ear.
“Joey,” Noah started. “You know I love you, but it’s like nine AM here.”
Most people were awake at nine AM, but Noah Clarke was not most people. “Let me guess, Melanie and Stella are already dressed for the day and making plans while you languish in bed.”
“Not true.”
She could hear the lie in his voice, and it made her laugh. “So, you don’t want to help me in my quest for sweet things?”
“Will it be as bad as your quest for pickles?”
“No.” Sweet stuff wasn’t usually in glass containers.
“Should you be out of bed?”
“You try being on bedrest for the last month and tell me if you like it.”
“Joey.”
She sighed. “I was in bed all day. Happy now?”
“I’d be happier if I was there to take care of you.”
When Noah first said he wasn’t coming back for a while, she’d been upset, but that was before Dax took her in, before she had other people in her corner. “I don’t need you here. Besides, you need to be with your family. Hey, how are the songs coming for our new album?” Even while on vacation, Noah was supposed to be writing up a storm. The label promised they wouldn’t have to tour for a while after the baby came, but they would need to get into the recording studio.
Noah’s silence said it all.
“How many do you have?” Jo pulled open the pantry and peeked in. Fancy crackers galore, but she didn’t want crackers.
“Four. But they need some work.”
“Send them to me. It’s not like I have anything else to do.” She searched the refrigerator. Still, no luck. As a last-ditch effort, she pulled the freezer open. “Jackpot.”
“What?”
“I found Dax’s ice cream stash.” He had to have eight different flavors here. A thought struck her. “Hold on, Noah.” She looked down at her phone as she typed Blake’s name into Google to pull up images from his fight with Dax.
She tried to make out what was in Dax’s basket, but all she could tell was it wasn’t ice cream.
“I don’t think Dax eats ice cream.”
Jo pulled a pint of cookies and cream out before retrieving a spoon. She dug in, moaning when she shoved the spoon in her mouth.
“Are you eating the ice cream right now?” Noah’s voice was incredulous. “In front of me?”
“Technically, I’m not in front of you.”
“Does that matter? I have to sneak ice cream into our freezer or Melanie will throw it out.”
“You know she probably knows you’re doing that, right?” Jo laughed. Melanie knew everything.
“Yes.” He released a fake sigh. “But how else am I supposed to teach Stella to lie?”
“Uh… maybe teach her not to.”
“You’re no fun.”
She knew Noah would never teach Stella to lie or sneak. If he could raise a kid, maybe there was hope for Jo.
She ate another bite and turned, noticing a light spilling out from Dax’s studio. What was he doing in there this late? “Noah, I’m hanging up on you.”
“The disrespect!”
Jo shook her head and hung up. Noah would get over it. Ice cream clasped in one hand, she retrieved a second spoon—not like he’d eat it with her.
She trudged across the gleaming wooden floor and nudged open the door with her elbow. Her entire body froze in the doorway as she took in Dax in a pair of loose sweatpants and a simple black V-neck. It wasn’t the clothes she stared at. Dax sat on the other side of the plexiglass at the piano. She’d only seen him play guitar, but somehow this was a better fit.
Dax didn’t sing, despite his mouth forming the words. Jo’s gaze flitted from Dax to the red light that said he was recording. There was something haunting in the melody. Jo walked to the leather couch near the mixing board.
Dax closed his eyes, letting his entire body sway with the music. His glasses were pushed into the hair on top of his head, and it transformed his face. Jo felt a sudden need to look into his bared eyes, to find what he hid there.
His fingers flew over the keys, knowing what to do.
Jo would admit it. She was not a piano person, or really any instrument other than drums. She didn’t understand them. But the drums… there was an emotional draw to them. She could pound out her anxieties, letting the drums take the brunt of it. For her, it had always been an escape.
Feeling like an intruder, Jo contemplated going back to her room. Dax had never invited her into his studio, despite letting her invade other parts of his life.
The music wound to a close and Dax’s voice came through the speaker. “Can you stop the recording?”
Jo hadn’t realized he saw her. She found the button to stop recording, hit it, and waddled back to the couch.
Dax stood and pushed the black leather bench in toward the piano.
Jo didn’t know whether to stay or leave until Dax removed his glasses and brushed a hand through his mussed hair. He set the glasses on his face, becoming the man she wasn’t sure she knew.
Dax didn’t ask her if she liked what he was playing. Instead, he bent his head to peer down at the controls. “You shouldn’t be in here.”
“I know.” Jo shrugged. “I shouldn’t be out of bed.”
“That’s not…” He cleared his throat. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh.” It wasn’t that he wanted her to stay on bedrest, he didn’t yet trust her to come into his studio.
“I just mean—
”
“I know just what you mean.” She heaved herself up from the couch. “I won’t bother you again.”
“Wait.” He reached out to snatch her wrist. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Dax. You wanted to be the hero taking care of me—and I appreciate it—but you don’t always want me around.”
“But I do,” he blurted. “Stay, please.”
He was going to give her whiplash, but she didn’t care. She wanted to hear him play again. “Okay.” Lowering herself once more on the couch, she tapped her fingers against her leg as silence stretched between them. “So… thanks for having your mom stop by. She really helped me a lot.”
That brought a genuine smile to his face. “And you repay me by gorging on ice cream?”
She shrugged. “You’re the one who bought it.”
“Paid a high price for it too.” He chuckled. The bruises had faded from his face, but it would take a lot longer for the blog posts and articles to fade.
“I knew it. You didn’t really fight Blake for me, it was for ice cream.”
He raised a brow in the Dax way he had that let her know he found her amusing. “I went to the store to get ice cream for you and snacks for Ben. Blake’s face just happened to get in the way of my fist.”
“I can’t believe you bought me ice cream.”
“Well, you wanted it.”
It was that simple for him. Jo wanted something, so Dax procured it. “I think I’ve been wrong about you, Dax.”
“Most people are.” He shrugged.
“Yes, but I’ve been operating under the assumption for years that you didn’t like me, that I was too surly to be friends with.”
His eyes latched onto hers. “I kind of like that about you.” He sat next to her on the couch.
She bumped his shoulder. “I think this is the first truly honest conversation we’ve ever had.”
“It doesn’t help that I can’t seem to find my words around you.”
“But not now. You’re doing well.”
One corner of his mouth tipped up. “Music is the only thing I’ve ever been good at. So, here, in my studio, all doubts, all insecurities disappear.”
Love is a Drum Beat (Rockstars Anonymous) Page 9