Love is a Drum Beat (Rockstars Anonymous)

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Love is a Drum Beat (Rockstars Anonymous) Page 17

by Michelle MacQueen


  Drew Stone.

  Ben Evans.

  Noah Clarke.

  Dax Nelson.

  She stared at the last name on the list until her vision went blurry.

  Dax Nelson. A memory from before giving birth came back to her. Dax showed her a video of him arriving at the hospital. With all the excitement, and everything that had happened since, she’d completely forgotten her world wasn’t the only one completely blown wide open.

  The world knew.

  She typed Dax’s name into Google as her heart beat faster and faster. She tapped the first link she saw. It was a blog post. The headline read “The real Dax Nelson.”

  Jo could hardly breathe as she read the article and stared at the pictures they’d taken outside the hospital. The world now knew his face. The video he’d shown her before wasn’t the only one. They’d dug up old pictures of him, interviewed people who said they knew him. Probably liars. It was a circus.

  The Dax with the big life but small world let few people in, and now the world would be banging on his front door. Figuratively of course.

  She tapped a picture of Dax and Drew leaving the hospital. It enlarged, and she zoomed in to take in his wide eyes, the hands that had held hers stuffed deep in his pockets.

  She didn’t want to believe it had only been for her, but she pictured him showing up in the hospital room, his eyes wild.

  Footsteps sounded outside her door, and she held her breath, hoping it was Dax. When they faded away, she released the breath and pulled her blanket up to her chin. Dax wasn’t coming back. Now that she had the baby, did he want her to move on with her life?

  Her eyes fell on Ali. “It’s just you and me, little alien.” Because whatever her rock star friends said, they had their own lives to live, careers that kept them apart. But that was okay. Jo Jackson was used to taking care of herself. And she could do this. She could take care of her daughter, be a mom.

  26

  Dax

  “I should be back over there.” Dax paced the length of his living room. He’d tried going back, but the minute he’d seen how many cameras had arrived outside the hospital, he’d frozen. Ben didn’t give him a chance to decide what to do next. He drove him home.

  “Dax.” Ben walked in from the kitchen and held out a scotch.

  Dax took a sip and set it on the coffee table. “She needs me.”

  “Yes, she does. But not until both you and her get some rest. Noah called after he left and said she’s exhausted.”

  “But she’s—”

  “Dax.” Ben crossed his arms and pursed his lips. “You know she’s okay, right? She made it through this?”

  The breath rushed out of Dax, and he dropped onto the couch, leaning forward to put his head in his hands. “I’ve been so worried.” It was the first time he even admitted it to himself. The rush of relief he’d felt when it was over, when Jo smiled despite the pain and the sweat coating her face, it made everything so real.

  Ben put a hand on his shoulder. “We all have. She didn’t obey the bedrest order.”

  “Anything could have happened.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But it didn’t.”

  “That’s right. And now, the best thing you can do for her is to let her rest.”

  Dax looked over his shoulder at the room he’d been working in all day. He claimed he was going home to rest and shower, but instead, he went shopping with Ben.

  What does one get when they send two men who happened to be famous into the jungle that was a baby store?

  Chaos. That’s what they get.

  “Are you really sure about this?” Ben asked.

  Dax lifted his face. “Are you sure about Piper?”

  “More than anything.”

  “Do you think Jo will hit me?”

  Ben laughed. “For going behind her back and buying all the things? Maybe. But then, she’ll remember she just had a baby and hadn’t bought much of anything for life after pregnancy.”

  “I don’t think she likes to picture that far in advance.” Dax leaned back into the couch. “I think I should feel different now that I’m famous.”

  “You’ve always been famous, Dax. The mystery spurred a lot of the popularity.” Ben looked sideways at him.

  A sigh rattled from Dax’s chest. “But this is different.”

  “Yeah, it is. Do you regret it?”

  Dax considered that question for a moment. He hadn’t been thinking when he gave his name at the hospital, but it got him to Jo faster. “No. I don’t think I regret it at all.”

  “Your life is about to change, man.”

  Dax knew he meant his career was going to change now that fans could recognize him, but there was another change, one inside of him. “I don’t think that scares me. Not anymore.”

  Ben clapped him on the back. “That’s because the scariest thing in life is falling in love. Compared to that, everything else is easy.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug.

  Dax shot to his feet. “I have to go to her.”

  “I thought we already—”

  “Would you leave Piper alone in a hospital?”

  Ben sighed. “Want me to drive you?”

  “No. I’ve got this one. You should get some rest, Ben. And thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “Just… being a friend.” Dax’s life hadn’t lacked for money or talent. But friendship? That was rare.

  Ben followed him out and hopped into his car while Dax shut the door. Dax slid behind his steering wheel. As he pulled away from his house, he didn’t feel like the socially awkward musical savant, the one who never had the right words for Jo. Over the last month, he’d shown her what he’d felt through actions, taking care of her.

  But actions meant little without the truth only words could bring.

  Valet was closed for the night, so Dax parked in a nearby garage and walked toward the entrance. Only a few reporters remained. They perked up when they saw him near.

  “Dax! Dax!” they called for him, blocking the entrance so he couldn’t pass. “Give us a statement. Why now, Dax? You’ve kept your secret for so long, why reveal it now?”

  The question made him stop and turn to the reporter. He’d always thought revealing himself would be a complicated matter, but when he pondered the question, it wasn’t complicated at all. “Because she needed me.”

  “Who? Jo Jackson? Are you truly part of her harem? What do you have to say about that?”

  His steps faltered, but he didn’t look back at them. “Jo has four men who love her very much. We’re a team with an unbreakable bond. Twist that any way you like.” He walked inside, away from the words that didn’t mean anything. Their accusations were ridiculous, but that didn’t give them meaning.

  He’d once worried what the tabloids would say about him if he became known to them. But now, as they asked invasive questions and would no doubt keep writing about this harem, he let it roll off him.

  A younger woman sat behind the desk this time. She smiled and held out a visitor’s pass. “It’s after hours,” she whispered. “But you go right on up.”

  Dax smiled in thanks, adjusted his glasses and hoofed it to the elevators.

  Once he reached Jo’s door, he hesitated. If she was asleep, he didn’t want to wake her. A nurse walked up, knocked, and opened the door to reveal a sleeping Jo. Dax followed her in and hovered near the end of the bed.

  The nurse sent him a smile. “Mom and baby are ready to go home in the morning.” She gave no hint if she knew who he was or not. “I’m guessing she’ll have plenty of help?”

  Dax groaned. “We aren’t a harem.”

  She laughed. “I know that. There have been many men here to visit her, and she appreciates it, but there is only one she searches for.”

  Dax pulled on the back of his neck. Jo wanted him there, and he’d thought his project was more important. How could he have thought that? Nothing was as important as Jo and this baby.

  “I need to check the baby’s vitals,�
� the nurse said. “Since Jo is sleeping, would you like to hold her?”

  “Me?” Dax fell back a step. He’d never held a baby or been around tiny kids.

  “Yes, you.” She lifted the baby. “Stand here.”

  Dax did as she asked, and the nurse slid the baby into his arms. Dax couldn’t take his eyes off the little nose, the long eyelashes that fluttered as she opened her eyes. “Hello, baby.”

  He barely noticed the nurse examining the baby. All he could focus on was the tiny life in his arms. He’d thought his world changed before, that coming out as Dax Nelson did it.

  But not even that was powerful enough to change him. Yet, this little girl made him want things he’d never wanted before.

  The nurse pointed to a chair. “That reclines if you’d like to keep holding your daughter. Just put Ali in the bassinette when you need a break.”

  Ali. His… He looked back down at her, unable to fathom her real father missing out on this. Signing the NDA was one of the most important things Jo could do for Ali. She knew more than most what it was to know your parent didn’t want you.

  He sat in the recliner.

  “You’re a natural.” The nurse smiled. “Do you have other kids?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t have kids.”

  Her smile fell. “Aren’t you Dax Nelson?”

  The entire world knew that now. “I am.”

  “Then, you are a father.” She lifted one brow. “At least according to the birth certificate.”

  “No… I’m not…” He wasn’t Blake. He wasn’t the man who left Jo on her own to raise a baby she hadn’t been ready for. Instead, he was Dax, the man Jo entranced the first time he saw her when so much rebellious life lit in her eyes.

  The nurse left, but not before whispering, “Good luck, young man.”

  He could imagine the thoughts rolling through her mind. Maybe she thought she’d witnessed a man learning he’d fathered a child, but this was more than that.

  More than protecting her from Blake Coleman.

  More than Rockstars Anonymous.

  More than loving Jo, pink hair and all.

  This, right here, was about loving them.

  “Dax?” Jo’s groggy tone had him smiling.

  “I’m here.” His words were like a tether, stretching through the dark to let Jo know she wasn’t alone.

  Jo rolled onto her side and reached to turn on the lamp near the bed. The light illuminated her pale face, her dark eyes. “I didn’t think you were coming back.”

  He closed his eyes for a brief moment. “I had to do something today, but I’m here now, and I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

  She smiled at that. “You’re a natural.” Her expression warmed when she looked at Ali. The question sat on the tip of his tongue. Had she put him on the birth certificate or was the nurse misremembering?

  But he didn’t voice his questions. Not now. Not when his eyes drank Jo in. “You’re beautiful.”

  She snorted. “Dax, my hair is still half cut, a sheen of sweat covers every part of my body, and this hospital gown is doing me no favors.”

  He shook his head, his lips twitching up into a smile. Only months ago, he hadn’t known the words to say to her. “Jo, no matter the clothes you wear, the hair on your head, you will never be more beautiful than right this moment.”

  “Oh good. So, it’s all downhill from here? Less pressure.”

  Dax chuckled. Sarcasm was her defense mechanism, but she didn’t need to play defense with him. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.” He stood, cradling a sleepy Ali in his arms. In two strides, he reached the bed and held out his arms. Jo took Ali, holding her against her chest.

  “Dax?” she whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “Don’t leave again.” She scooted over and patted the empty spot on the narrow bed.

  He climbed in beside her, kicking off his shoes. Jo leaned her head on his shoulder. “What did you mean about this moment?”

  He rested an arm around her. “You, Jo Jackson, are a fighter.”

  “I do like to fight with you.” Her sarcasm wouldn’t throw him off track.

  “You use sarcasm to avoid uncomfortable moments. But you forget who I am, Jo. I’m the king of uncomfortable.”

  She laughed. “You used to be. Not so much anymore.”

  “You’re ridiculous about fifty percent of the time.”

  “Only fifty percent?” She laughed.

  “You are a rock star who chose to be a single mom.”

  Jo shrugged. “Not like I had a choice on that one. But I can make it work.”

  “It’s that confidence… Parts of your life are dark, Jo. Yet, you’re still here ready to give your daughter everything you never had.”

  “I won’t ever let her doubt how much I love her.”

  “I know you won’t. Because your strength mesmerizes me.”

  Jo poked his side. “I’m not the only strong one, Mr. ‘I’m going to blow my anonymity out the window. I know you told me about it before Ali appeared, but I didn’t really give it enough thought until you’d left. You didn’t have to do that. Not for me.”’

  Dax reached down, entwining her fingers with his. “Ben told me something tonight, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I don’t care if people know my face, not anymore. It’s not the scariest thing.”

  She looked down at Ali with a smile on her face. “Then, Dax Nelson, what is the scariest thing?”

  He pushed her chin up with one finger so she looked at him. Courage, he needed courage. All he had to do was borrow it from the woman in his arms. “Falling in love.”

  Her lips parted as a breath left them. “What does this falling in love feel like?”

  “It’s fear that makes your heart beat harder and harder until your pulse is the only sound in your ears. It’s doing things you’d never in your life thought you’d do.”

  “Like getting into fist fights in supermarkets?”

  “Definitely that. It’s fighting over junk food.”

  She smiled. “And sitting on the floor outside of the home studio to hear music that speaks to me.”

  “Making you eat vegetables and take care of yourself.”

  She laughed. “It’s making the quiet man smile. It’s taking care of me when I needed someone.”

  “Jo.” He leaned down, looking into her eyes. “I will always take care of you.”

  A tear dripped down her cheek. “I can—”

  “Take care of yourself. We all know that. But maybe, sometimes, you could let me do it.”

  “Only if I get to take care of you too.”

  “Deal.” He moved slowly, savoring every moment of anticipation.

  Jo had less patience than that, her lips crashing into his with a fierceness mixed with caution. Dax brushed his fingertips over her cheek and into her ridiculous hair.

  “Dax,” she whispered against his lips. “I need to tell you something.”

  He pulled away. “What’s wrong?”

  “At your house… when I kissed you… I lied. It wasn’t the hormones. It was me, but it was also because you were there for me, and I was grateful. I didn’t understand yet everything you were. But this kiss… there’s no gratitude here. It isn’t because you’ve helped me or because you’re here. I just… I need you to know that.”

  His lips hovered inches from hers. “It’s because you love me.”

  Her eyes widened. “And if I do?”

  “I thought we already established it. You and I, Jo Jackson, we’re living a new story now.”

  She gave him a half smile. “You could say there’s a new beat to our song.”

  “I didn’t know you had a cheesy side.” He pressed another kiss to her lips. “I like it.”

  “It’s a good thing because I’m going to raise a cheesy baby. You know Noah will have her reciting his dumb jokes by the time she’s like four.”

  “Drew will have her using manipulative smiles and charm to get what
she wants. And Ben… he’ll teach her to sing her own tune.”

  “Now who’s cheesy?” Her head rested on Dax’s shoulder again. “I really do have a harem, don’t I?”

  “We all love you, Jo. That’s all it boils down to. Each person loves you in a different way, but you’re ours.”

  She lifted an eyebrow.

  “I didn’t mean it as a possessive thing. You belong to us just as we belong to you.”

  “Rockstars Anonymous.” Jo sighed. “Who’d have thought it would change our lives?”

  27

  Jo

  Going home.

  It never sounded so sweet.

  “Baby alien.” Jo looked at the baby in her arms. “Time for our adventure.”

  “Are you ever going to stop calling her baby alien?” Dax looked up from where he’d started packing Jo’s belongings.

  “Why would I stop?”

  Dax laughed and went back to packing. “Because you don’t want her going to school and telling everyone her name is Alien.”

  “School?” She pulled Ali closer. “She’s not going to school. She won’t be leaving me ever. I won’t allow it.”

  She was sort of joking.

  Jo turned to look in the mirror. “At least my hair looks good.” Melanie stopped by early this morning with a stylist who turned Jo’s hair from the mess it was to a short pixie cut. It was the first time in years she had not a strand of pink hair. “Dax?”

  “What?” Dax walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

  She only stiffened a little, which was a win. She wasn’t used to Dax being so close yet. “I have a super serious question for you.”

  “No, we won’t do a picture of Rockstars Anonymous for the gossip blogs just because you want to run with the harem angle.”

  “That wasn’t even what I wanted to ask you.”

  He rested his chin on her shoulder. “No, I don’t think Ali looks like she has alien features. Yes, the world will think she’s cute. And no, she can’t start playing the drums within the year. That cover everything?”

  Huffing out a breath, she turned in his arms. “Do I look like a mom? I can sort of see it, but maybe I need some mom jeans and a windbreaker. Should I buy a windbreaker? Oh, a track suit! That’s what I need.”

 

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