by Jen Gilroy
Seth needed something, but it wasn’t pizza. He blinked and opened his mouth but nothing came out. Last night, while he’d tossed and turned on Jake’s uncomfortable mattress, he’d been set to forget about the station and leave Irish Falls as soon as the water receded. But he couldn’t because this place held part of his past and, no matter what he thought about Jake, he needed to deal with that past instead of dragging it behind him.
Moreover, Irish Falls also held a woman who intrigued him and who he wanted to get closer to, even as logic warned him to stay away.
~ ~ ~
As usual, Annie had acted first and thought later. Even a week later, she still cringed at the memory of that moment in Jake’s apartment when she’d hugged Seth and how right it had felt, how safe.
She stared out the window of the bakery kitchen and as she washed dishes she hummed the song she’d worked on the night before. She had too much time on her hands. That was the only reason she thought about Seth so much. And now she knew why she was doing it, she could stop. For her, musicians were off limits—now, always, and forever.
“It’s sure a pretty day out there.”
Annie jumped and stopped mid-note. “Mom.” She turned away from the window, where the early afternoon sun danced off newly-budded leaves. A roguish spring wind ruffled the honeysuckle bushes lining the path toward the falls. “You scared me.”
“You knew I was out front in the store. Maybe you expected someone else?” Her mom’s expression was quizzical as she propped her cane against one of the counters and sat on a three-legged wooden stool.
“Of course not. Tara’s delivering the cake for that baby shower.” Annie dried a clean mixing bowl with a tea towel, avoiding her mom’s scrutiny. “And Holly is still at the dentist, which is why you should be out there serving customers.”
“There haven’t been any customers in twenty minutes, and I wasn’t talking about Tara or Holly.” Her mom gave her a meaningful look. “I hear Seth spends a lot of time with you.”
“So? He works upstairs. Jake spent a lot of time with me, too.” Except, Jake had never made her heart beat faster and her mouth go dry or looked at her like Seth looked at her. “Seth has questions about Jake’s estate. There’s a lot of paperwork for us to go through.”
“I’m sure there is.” Her mom’s tone was dry. “But you have to admit, he’s a good-looking man.”
Annie dried a set of measuring cups. “I’m not looking for any man, good looking or not.” She had to get her life together and figure out what she wanted first.
Her mom exhaled and, in the bright light from the window, she looked older and so weary that Annie’s heart shuddered. “Don’t let life slip past you, honey. You’ve never wanted to talk about Hannah’s father, but—”
“Todd’s not part of my life.” That was all her mom needed to know. It was all Hannah needed to know, too.
“So why won’t you go out with anyone beyond one or two dates?” Her mom’s lips tightened. “I’m not getting any younger, and I want to see you settled.”
“I am settled. I don’t need a man for that.” From the little she knew about Seth, he was exactly the kind of man to unsettle her. Annie clenched her jaw. “Shouldn’t you go back out to the store? Somebody could come in and—”
“If they do, we’ll hear them. That’s why there’s a bell over the door.” Her mom covered one of Annie’s hands with hers. “I worry about you being alone.”
“How could I ever be alone with all our family?” She forced a smile. “My life is good, really.” And she was working on making it even better. She’d signed up for a pottery class at the community center and next fall she planned to take a college course through online learning.
“Good enough?”
“Mom.” Annie took her hand away and her face got hot. Her mom had always been way too discerning. “You and Dad had the perfect marriage, and now you and Duncan do too. You set a high standard for me, that’s all.”
“There isn’t any such thing as a perfect marriage.” Her mom’s voice faltered. “Your dad was my soulmate, but we still had our differences. And now Duncan . . . maybe it looks . . .” She stopped and pulled a tissue out of her pocket.
“What is it?” Annie left the dishes and crouched beside where her mom sat. “I don’t want to pry into your life, but lately you haven’t seemed like yourself.”
“I have almost enough hardware in my body to outfit Duncan’s workshop. Of course, I’m not myself.” Her mom’s voice held a sob, and she ran a hand through her silver-white hair.
“I know your hip fracture set you back but—”
“Set me back?” Her mom got to her feet, and the stool wobbled before overturning with a thump. “It set me back, knocked me flat, and turned my whole life upside down.” She grabbed an apron from a drawer and looped it over her head.
“It was an accident.” Annie found another apron. If her mom wanted to bake, she’d help. “You slipped and—”
“I slipped on a sidewalk I’ve walked on since I was a child. One minute I was in front of the church thinking about trying a new meatloaf recipe, and the next I was flat on my back convinced I was about to meet my maker.” She flung open a cupboard door and pulled out a mixing bowl with a clang. “You girls have reorganized everything in here. Where are the raisins? How am I supposed to make my carrot cake if I don’t know where things are?”
“The raisins are right here.” Annie slid the canister along the counter. Carrot cake was her mom’s signature recipe, and she didn’t trust anyone else to make it. “The doctor can’t explain why you broke your hip. Remember what she said? It just happened.”
“Do you think that makes it any better? Knowing I could have some kind of turn like that again . . .” She scrubbed a hand across her face.
“What does Duncan say?” Better to tackle the problem head on, or at least what Annie thought might be the problem.
“He doesn’t say anything.” Her mom’s chin trembled. “He hardly talks to me. After I lost your dad, I never thought I’d find another man to share my life with, but now I don’t know Duncan at all.”
“What makes you say that?” Annie’s breathing sped up. “You’ve only been retired a few months. It’s a big change. Everybody says retirement takes time to adjust to.”
“It’s more than that.” Her mom measured raisins with an unsteady hand. “Duncan and I haven’t slept in the same bed or even the same room since I came home from the hospital. He says he doesn’t want to disturb me or hurt me or some other such nonsense.”
“I’m sure he wants to give you enough time to heal.” Annie busied herself getting out carrots, walnuts, and spices. Thinking about the absence of her own sex life was bad enough. She didn’t want to think about her mom’s.
“I don’t need to give you the details.” Her mom’s face flushed. “But we used to do so many things together like dinners out and movies, but now he makes excuses. All winter it was his darts league and bowling. Now he can’t wait for the golf course to dry out and his softball league to start up again. Even when he’s home, he as good as lives in that basement workshop.”
“What if you took a special trip? A cruise would be great. You could travel from New York City so you wouldn’t have to fly. Once you were on the ship, the two of you could relax and spend time together.” Annie patted her mom’s back. “A long motorhome trip might still be too hard for you with all the driving, but—”
“No.” Her mom scooped flour into the mixing bowl with jerky motions. “You remember how Duncan loved to travel? A few weeks ago, I printed out a bunch of information about resorts with fishing because he likes to fish, but a few days later, I found it beneath the store flyers for recycling. I don’t think he even looked at it. It must be me. He doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”
“I’m sure that’s not
right. Duncan loves you.” At least Annie hoped he still did. “I see the way he looks at you. And remember how he likes to tell the story of how you met? If his car hadn’t broken down, he’d never have come in here. He saw you, and then he ate a piece of your carrot cake, and that was it. Love at first sight.” Despite the leaden feeling in her stomach, she made her voice bright and encouraging.
“Duncan hasn’t told that story in ages.” Her mom sniffed. “And he doesn’t look at me much these days, either. It’s like I’m part of the furniture. He pays more attention to his fancy recliner than me.”
“Have you talked to a friend or one of your sisters? Or Tara and Rowan, even?” Annie stared at the tub of brown sugar without seeing it.
“No.” Her mom made a noise somewhere between a sob and a snort. “I can’t talk to anybody, especially not your sisters. Tara’s still grieving Adam’s death, and Rowan is so angry about her husband leaving.”
Annie’s heart was heavy. “Maybe talking it out would help and—”
“Like you, everyone thinks Duncan and I have the perfect marriage. I can’t admit anything is wrong. It might get out, and he’s such a proud man. He’d never forgive me for sharing our private business.”
“Hey.” Annie wrapped her arms around her mom’s heaving shoulders. “Do you want me to talk to him? It’s probably a big misunderstanding.”
This was why she’d steered clear of relationships after Hannah’s dad. They brought complications she didn’t need. Even if you found a man you were sure was “the one,” people changed—even Duncan, one of the most rock-solid men she’d ever known.
And then Jake. She thought she’d known him, but she hadn’t. Her stomach quivered. Maybe he’d been there for Seth’s mom, but he’d still abandoned his son like Todd had abandoned Hannah. The only difference was in the details.
“You can’t say a word to Duncan. I shouldn’t have said anything to you or stuck you in the middle. You’re my daughter.” She gave Annie a watery smile.
“I also hope I’m your friend.” Annie breathed in the faint scent of roses from her mom’s perfume—the fragrance she always associated with home, love, and security.
“You are . . . but—”
“Then I can help. Tara and Rowan will, too. Even Brendan and Holly—”
“You can’t say anything to anyone.” Her mom stepped back. “And you have to forget I ever mentioned this. Promise me? If anybody talks to Duncan, it has to be me.”
“Of course I promise, but are you sure?” Annie’s chest ached.
“I’m sure.” Her mom gave her a tight smile. “Maybe like you said it is retirement. I’m home more now than I was before. And Jake’s death hit Duncan hard, not that he’d ever say so. It was so soon after my accident, too. You know, Seth could be exactly what Duncan needs. That night he came for dinner, Duncan was almost like he used to be.”
Annie grabbed a cutting board, peeler, and several carrots. “Although he’s decided not to sell the station right away, Seth won’t stay here permanently. I bet he’ll be gone by Halloween at the latest.”
“A lot can happen in six months.” Her mom’s expression brightened.
A lot Annie didn’t want to think about. “Why wouldn’t he go back to LA? That’s where his life is.” It wasn’t her place to nose into that life, but the look on Seth’s face when he talked about Jake’s letter was seared on her mind and heart. He wasn’t the man she’d first assumed and, like her, he’d known a life-changing hurt.
Her mom rummaged in another cupboard and avoided Annie’s gaze. “He might find a reason to stick around. Jake stayed. Why shouldn’t his son do the same?”
“What?” Annie dropped the peeler. “How did you—?”
“Seth’s the spitting image of Jake when he was younger.” Her mom’s steady gaze met Annie’s. “He’s got the same mannerisms, the same way with music, and he has a little heart-shaped birthmark on the inside of his right wrist, almost the same as Jake had. I noticed it when he played for us.”
Annie shook her head. “I can’t . . .”
“It’s not your secret to share. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone else, and I won’t, either.”
“Seth doesn’t want anyone to know.”
“He told you, didn’t he?”
“Mom, please—” Annie stopped as the bell over the bakery door jangled.
Her mom exhaled. “It’s good to keep yourself safe, but don’t forget to be happy, too, Annie-Bella.” Her smile was tender, then she patted Annie’s arm and was gone. Her voice drifted out from the store as she greeted a customer.
Annie’s eyes smarted. She was happy. Or at least she had been before Jake died, Seth turned up, and everything—who and what she thought about, and even the stories she told in her songs—had changed.
Chapter 7
“You know your way around a toolbox.” Brendan clambered down the ladder propped against the back of Annie’s house. “Thanks for helping me.”
“No problem.” It wasn’t as if Seth had anything else to do on this Saturday afternoon. “I always liked carpentry work. I helped a friend’s dad out, back in high school. The guy owned a construction company, but he said even if you were the boss, you still had to get your hands dirty.”
Seth followed Brendan down the ladder and hopped off to stand beside a cleared patch of ground that, in the summer, must be a garden. He’d never understood what people meant when they said they could smell spring. Now he did. It was in the water of the Black Duck River rushing below the bridge in the middle of town and swollen with melted snow that had come down from the hills. It was in the winter-brown grass where green shoots poked through patches of dark mud. And it was on the warm breeze that swooped across Annie’s backyard and snapped the sheets on her clothesline.
“From what I saw up there, that roof needs re-shingling in a bad way.” Seth breathed in the fresh air and tilted his face to the sun.
“It does, but money doesn’t grow on trees. Still, compared to a lot of folks, our family got lucky. None of us were flooded out.” Brendan tossed Seth a water bottle, and Seth caught it. “My sons and I, as well as a bunch of guys I play hockey with, are getting a work party together to help a few folks with some repair jobs. You on board?”
“Sure.” Seth’s chest expanded. Brendan respected him, and he’d never asked about what had happened in LA—or why Seth had decided to stay here.
Seth uncapped the water and took a long drink. The house was shaded by big trees, but on the roof the hot sun blazed out of a cloudless blue sky. It was a crisper blue than that he knew in either LA or the South, and the air had a hint of spicy pine. “Do all your boys live nearby?”
“Apart from the two you met at Mom and Duncan’s who are still in high school, the older two live on their own nearby. One’s an electrician over the mountain, and the other is finishing his sophomore year at SUNY Adirondack.” Brendan’s eyes gleamed. “I’m real proud of my sons. They’re hard workers and smart too, but they know family always comes first. Anything they can do to help out, they’re there. The don’t expect to be paid, either.”
“You raised them right.” Seth scrubbed a hand across his face. He’d tried to raise Dylan right too, but somehow it had all gone wrong.
“Not only me.” Brendan gave a self-deprecating smile. “I have the right woman sharing the load and most of the town, too. You know that saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’? Folks in Irish Falls take that one to heart.”
Seth stared at Annie’s garden, the soil turned over in preparation for spring planting. He hadn’t had the right woman, or any woman. And he hadn’t had a town. He’d only had himself. He’d done his best, but it hadn’t been enough. “I have a son, too. Dylan’s eighteen. He’s at college in New York City.”
“You guys close?” Brendan gathered up the tools scattered
across Annie’s back porch and tucked them into his toolbox.
“We used to be.” Seth’s stomach knotted. “But now . . . he has his own life.”
“He’ll come back.” There was surprising understanding in Brendan’s smile. “Some guys need to be their own person for a while. My oldest was that way. When he first moved out, he talked to Holly all the time, but me, not so much. It’s like he needed to learn how to become that last bit of a man without me.” He shrugged. “My mom says it’s in God’s time.”
“I guess.” But from what Seth remembered about God, it didn’t hurt for a guy to move things along on his own. He rolled his shoulders and winced.
“You’re going to hurt tomorrow.” Brendan’s smile broadened.
He already did, but it had been worth it. Hanging out with Brendan and working in companionable silence, he’d gotten a part of himself back he hadn’t even realized was missing. “You want to grab a beer and shoot some pool at the Black Duck?”
“Sorry, no can do.” Except, Brendan didn’t look sorry. “Now the kids are on their way to being launched, Saturday’s my date night with Holly.”
“Yeah, sure.” Seth sat on the porch step and took off the work boots he’d borrowed from Brendan. It was no big deal. He’d spend another evening on the sofa in front of Jake’s old television or read one of the thrillers he’d found in the bookcase.
The screen door behind him squeaked open, then Annie moved past to lean against one of the porch pillars. “Even though I can’t see what you did up there on my roof, if you got Brendan’s approval, you must be good.”
His heart skipped a beat. “Thanks.”
“I’d never have guessed you knew what to do with a hammer.” Her mouth tilted into a smile. “There are a few things around the station that need fixing, too. Jake was a good carpenter but he liked working on special projects, not basic maintenance.” She stuck her hands in the front pocket of her jeans.