“If you need me, I’ll figure something out.”
“I’ll be okay.” She had a new strength inside she hadn’t believed existed. It was going to get her through this thing with Jorge and her mother.
“Yeah?”
“Really.”
“Okay, let’s go to sleep.”
She shut off the light on the nightstand and he pulled her back to his front, spooning.
“Hey, so who’s your kindred animal? I don’t think I ever heard.”
Oh, no. She had to tell him. This was the Truth Bed.
“I’m a mama bear. Which surprises no one.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. Should have guessed. Funny,” he said, his deep voice sounding ragged and sleepy in the dark. “We’re both bears.”
“I know, right? That’s funny.”
And then, somehow, even while being held this close in the dark by the man who’d headlined so many of her fantasies, she was able to find sleep.
Chapter 19
“Time for lunch,” Ryan said, grabbing his keys.
“Sure, what do you want me to have brought in?” Renata said.
“No, I mean I’m going out to lunch.” He was sick of working through lunch and being chained to the desk far too many hours of the day.
Time to get a life.
“My goodness, but you’ve never done that.” Her jaw gaped.
Was he really that predictable?
“Yeah? Well there’s a first time for everything.”
“Tell the truth, sheriff,” she said. “Is there finally a woman in the picture?”
“There might be.” It wasn’t any of her business.
For the past week, he’d spent nearly every night with Zoey. They’d started to make plans for things they’d do after he was no longer the sheriff. Trips they wanted to take together. Movies they both wanted to see. Restaurants they wanted to try.
He was falling hard for her, and it was easier than he’d ever thought it could be.
She didn’t make anything complicated. She didn’t ask for or demand all of his time. She understood who he was and accepted him. She knew that he wasn’t the “hero” he’d been cast to be by their hometown. He came with warts like everyone else.
She’d learned that he couldn’t cook, once actually burning water. He preferred the New York Yankees over the San Francisco Giants (which had caused a minor fight—their first). Among his many faults were the fact he wasn’t particularly romantic, though she brought it out of him more than anyone ever had. And for the life of him, as much as he tried, his socks never wound up in the hamper.
This was the first instance where he could remember actually enjoying being exclusive with someone. He no longer had the dreaded FOMO, Fear of Missing Out. With Zoey, he believed there could be no better. He was convinced of that even if she’d done nothing other than be herself. It was all him. His idea. He liked that a whole hell of a lot.
It struck him that this could be what he’d been missing all along. A woman who wanted a no-frills guy. Zoey was a loyal friend who didn’t just like him because of his accomplishments. Hell, she didn’t know half of them, and he sure wasn’t going to tell her.
She was a private person, too. But she was someone who could easily attend events with him, holding her own. Already he’d noticed that she was no longer blending into wallpaper and hiding in corners. She wore sexy dresses and shoes, and the panties...well, she might have always worn sexy underwear and he’d just never known about it.
Okay, so he realized he was probably an ass for appreciating that she wore sexy underwear. And at the moment he didn’t care. This was exactly why he didn’t deserve to be put on a pedestal by anyone. He was a perpetually horny guy.
Horny Guy drove to the bagel shop, picked up two sandwiches and was on his way to deliver one to a sexy temptress when he was stopped by Fred.
“Heard you arrested someone. Finally.”
“You heard wrong. A kid was brought in for questioning.”
“You didn’t arrest him?” Fred bellowed.
“We can’t do that without evidence. That’s all you need to know.”
Fred tried to keep him discussing the case, and the so-called eyewitnesses. So far two of them had already recanted and admitted they couldn’t really see much in the dark except that it seemed to be a tall kid. Ryan didn’t discuss open investigations with anyone, and he had places to go. And besides, it was his freaking lunch hour in case anyone cared.
“Gotta go.” He pushed the door open with his back.
When he walked into Pimp Your Pet, Zoey wasn’t behind the register so he placed the bag on the counter and went to find her. She was in the back of the store near the Pimp Your Pet dog T-shirts display, hanging them up.
“How can I hel—” She turned and when her eyes registered him, they lit up in a way that made his chest tighten. “Ryan.”
“Brought you lunch. You can help me by taking a break.” He pulled her to him, and her hands wrapped around the nape of his neck as they always did.
“You brought me lunch?” She gaped. “No one ever brings me lunch.”
“What do you do for lunch usually?” Threading her fingers through his own he tugged her toward the register.
“I bring something from home. Okay, confession time. I don’t always take a lunch break.”
“Thought so. Neither do I, but I’m going to start.”
“I usually eat at the register and I’ll stop if I get a customer.”
“And I mostly eat at my desk. In meetings. Fun stuff.”
“You’re chained to that desk, are you?”
“Told you, I’m a desk jockey most of the time. Until they drag me out and put me in front of a camera or a reporter or some such thing.”
“I don’t know how you can do it.” Zoey unwrapped her turkey sandwich. “Fred told me you arrested a suspect a few days ago.”
“Maybe Fred should join the department. I am hiring.”
“He’s a busybody.” She frowned. “Did you arrest someone?”
He hadn’t really wanted to talk about work but Zoey had reason to be worried. She’d been at the shop during the dumpster fire, and she was likely concerned about Jill and Sam on the ridge, as well.
“We didn’t. But we have some leads.”
“Is it really a kid doing all this?”
“We don’t know that either. But the profiling leans toward that.” They finished eating with zero interruptions. Small miracle. “Are you going to be okay Friday?”
She went up on tiptoes and framed his face. “I am. But I’m going to miss you like crazy.”
Though they’d spent most weeknights together, on the weekends he was still working his renovation project from sunup till sundown. Progress was slow, and he’d had to hire a plumber since the work appeared to be more extensive than either he or Sam could handle.
“Let me know if you need me.” He bent to kiss her, slow and lingering. She had the sweetest taste, like ripe cherries. “I’ll duck out of the party.”
“You won’t have to do that.”
“I know,” he said, pulling on her pouty lower lip with his thumb. “You’ve got this.”
Chapter 20
Zoey decided that her best course of action was to come over to Tia’s unannounced on Thursday after work. She didn’t want Tia to worry before she had to, because she’d be doing enough of that when she found out what the man her sister was marrying had done. One thing Zoey did know was that Tia would believe her. With that in mind, Zoey had to break it to her gently.
She found Tia vacuuming. Zoey was about to announce herself by gently patting Tia’s back when her aunt suddenly turned, threw a hand to her chest and crossed herself.
“Madre de Dios! Zoey Gloria Castillo! You scared me!”
Uh-oh. She was in trouble when
Tia used all three of her names. Zoey bit back a laugh. “I didn’t mean to, but you couldn’t hear the doorbell so I let myself in.”
“Of course, you’re always welcome. This is your home.” Tia gasped, rolling up the vacuum cord.
“Take a break and let’s sit down for a minute.” Zoey walked to the living room couch. “Where’s Tio?”
“He went to the store.” Tia joined her.
“Will he be gone long?”
“I don’t know. Why? Do you need him? I can just call and he’ll—” She reached for the cordless phone on the coffee table.
Zoey stayed Tia’s hand. “No, it’s just that I wanted to talk to you. Alone.”
“Alone?” Her aunt quirked a brow and then some type of universal motherhood understanding flashed in her brown eyes and she smoothed her skirt. “Ah, alone. Go ahead.”
The last time Zoey had asked to talk to Tia alone it had been to break the news that she’d be moving out. Tio had taken it about as well as if the nightly newscaster had announced World War III. But Tia had calmed his jangled nerves and assured him their Zoey would be just fine because they’d raised her properly.
Even though they’d let her go to Mexico to see Mami.
That mistake was on Zoey, who had insisted. Begged. Suddenly Zoey’s breath hitched.
“Mija, what’s wrong?”
She couldn’t look at Tia. “I—I’m a terrible daughter.”
She was thinking of Veronica now, and how Zoey didn’t want to be her daughter. She’d been fun, like a beautiful older sister or good friend. Not a mother. Never a mother. Which was so wrong. Zoey loved her mother in theory, but she didn’t know how to be close to someone who’d essentially abandoned her. After all this time maybe it was too late anyway.
“What? No, no.” Tia patted Zoey’s hand.
Zoey spoke through choked back sobs. “But I am, because...because I always wanted you to be my mother. Not Veronica.”
Now Tia’s eyes grew misty and she embraced Zoey. “Mi amor, you are my daughter. No matter who gave birth to you, you’re mine.”
“But you’re always so nice to Veronica.”
“Well, I love her too. She was like my first daughter. You are my second.”
“She’s not a very good person.”
“Let me tell you something, honey. Your Mami is just different from the rest of her family. She always was, but that doesn’t make her bad. She tries, she really does. You were her life for the first twelve years. And something else you might not know...because she’s always asked me not to say anything. But she’s generous. For years, she’s been helping us. Even though we ask her not to, and we refuse her money, she finds a way. She paid off our mortgage and we didn’t know until we sent in a payment and it was returned.”
“She did?” Zoey wiped a tear away.
“All that money we spent sending you to private school? She called it her way of paying us back. Even though we didn’t ask for it.”
Her aunt and uncle were very proud, so Zoey was shocked they’d accepted the money but happy they had. It was no less than they deserved. Feeling worse because she was about to change the way Tia felt about her younger sister, Zoey bit her lower lip. Somehow she had to do this anyway.
“Something happened to me when I went to Mexico to visit her.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have to promise not to tell Tio.”
Tia hesitated and pinched her lips together. “If you think that’s important.”
“I do. At the movie party, I wanted to be glamorous just once. Like her. We went to a party all dressed up and her director...he got me alone and said awful things to me. Sexual things.”
The fear and shame that had pulsed through Zoey that night went through her all over again.
Tia gasped. “Dios mio! Did he hurt you?”
“No. Someone interrupted him.”
“Who is this man?”
“It’s her fiancé, Jorge.”
A hand went over Tia’s mouth and she squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them, they were watery. “I’m so sorry I let you go.”
Zoey’s chest pinched. “No! It wasn’t your fault. I wanted to, remember? I begged you to go.”
“Still, I knew better. So did Raul. We were so worried, but it was more about drinking. Drugs. Movie star stuff. Not this.” She wiped her brow. “Have you told Veronica yet? You must. She can’t marry this man.”
This was the next toughest part. Zoey hitched in a breath.
“I don’t want her to marry him either, but I’m afraid she won’t believe me. She won’t want to. You see how happy she is and how much she loves Jorge. He practically made her career.” Zoey took a deep breath. Her throat was raw and clogged with emotion. “So now you know why I don’t want to come over tomorrow night for dinner. Please understand that I can’t be around that man.”
She stood. “And you think I can?”
“Wait. Where are you going?”
Tia picked up the handset from the coffee table, dialed and walked with it into her bedroom. But the door wasn’t shut and Zoey could pick up the words on Tia’s end.
“Daughter...talk to you immediately...alone.”
Zoey followed Tia to the doorway of her bedroom. She was just hanging up the phone, more tears in her eyes.
“What did she say?”
Tia wiped a tear away. “She’ll be right over. Without Jorge.”
“Now?”
“I won’t have that man in my home, and she needs to know why.”
But Zoey didn’t want this confrontation. Didn’t want this huge stone lodged in her throat. There was the worry that Mami wouldn’t believe her, and also of what would happen if she did.
“Mami hasn’t had anyone since my father.” Her gaze dropped to the newly vacuumed rug. “She loves Jorge. I can tell. Maybe he wouldn’t ever do this to anyone else again. He might have changed—and... I’ll ruin their relationship.”
“It was bound to ruin itself eventually. Don’t you dare think for a moment this is your fault. You were a child.”
All of this was true, so why did Zoey feel like a scurrying rat instead of a mama bear? Didn’t her protective instincts extend to herself? What was wrong with her? Life and love were so complicated and filled with pain and loss, so was it any wonder some days she only wanted to go home to her pets and hide from the world?
Her thoughts went to Ryan and she wished she’d put this off and taken him up on his offer of coming with her to dinner tomorrow night. With his quiet strength to support her this would have all been easier. He was so strong and capable, both inside and out. Loyal and steady. She’d already fallen for him.
Her poor mother. Zoey didn’t even want to think about what she’d do or feel if someone tried to rip this love for Ryan away from her the way she was about to do to Mami. But if she married a man like Jorge without really knowing what he’d done it would be Zoey’s fault for keeping it a secret.
Mami showed up twenty minutes later, alone as Tia had requested. Zoey did a double take when she took in her disheveled appearance. She wore little if any make-up at all, her hair shoved under a Giants baseball cap. For the first time Zoey noticed that her mother had aged, and her heart ached. Mami was no longer the beauty she’d been ten years ago. She was nearly fifty now. Deep worry lines creased her forehead.
She stared from Tia to Zoey with wide eyes. “I got over here as soon as I could. You scared me. What’s wrong? Who’s sick?”
“No one is sick, querida. Your daughter needs to speak with you and it’s important,” Tia said, giving Veronica a hug. “I’ll be in the kitchen if either of you need me.”
“What? No.” Above all else Zoey needed the woman who’d raised her to stay with her now.
“You can do this.” Tia patted Zoey’s shoulder and left the room.
> Veronica’s eyes followed Tia as if she too didn’t want her to go. No wonder, because she’d been like a mother to Veronica, too.
Abandonment had turned Veronica and Zoey practically into strangers. Zoey stared into caramel eyes so like her own.
“What’s this about, querida?”
“I have to tell you something about Jorge.”
She sighed and plunked down on the leather sofa. “Oh, and it’s this urgent? Gloria made it sound—”
“It’s something I should have told you a long time ago but I’m only now brave enough.”
“Tell me.”
“The night of the party where I dressed just like you?”
“We were just discussing that not long ago.”
Zoey swallowed hard. “I’m—I’m sorry to tell you—but that night wasn’t so wonderful for me. Jorge cornered me when we were alone. He said nasty things to me that no grown man should say to a fifteen-year-old girl.”
“Alone? When were you two alone?”
Zoey’s throat burned and she ignored the first doubt. She was all in now. Because Jorge marrying her mother had raised the stakes. Zoey made a fist and let the fingernails drive into her to distract from the pain in her chest.
“He said sexual things to me, like what he’d like to do to me if we could be alone together for a few hours.”
Veronica’s jaw gaped, and her eyes narrowed. In her movies, this was the look the camera captured when her character was stricken with terrible, life-changing news.
“What are you saying? Are you sure? English isn’t his first language and he often gets things wrong.”
Zoey managed to keep her cool but just barely. “The way he looked at me? I couldn’t get that wrong. He didn’t need words for that.”
Veronica’s face flushed to a deep magenta. “I don’t understand. He’s always been such a gentleman. We should all talk about this at dinner tomorrow night. You’ll see he’s a reasonable man. He’ll have an explanation, I’m sure. We’ll straighten this out.”
Zoey’s stomach rolled and pitched. An anger she hadn’t anticipated rose inside her like a tidal wave. “No. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to be around him.”
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