by L. C. Mawson
Dana turned to announce the next girl to be tested, and I hurried off.
“Good luck,” I said to Charlotte as I passed her.
“Thanks. Make sure Natalie’s okay.”
I nodded. That was unquestionably my intention.
I hurried off, thankfully finding that Natalie was still finishing getting changed, tears in her eyes once more.
Even if she could speed through getting changed, it seemed that she’d opted to go slow and utilise the time she had in the changing rooms alone.
She moved towards the door as she heard me enter but stopped as she saw me.
“You should go back,” Natalie said. “You need to go through your test.”
“I did. Dana tested me after you.”
“And?”
I cringed, not wanting to say after she’d failed.
She sighed. “It’s okay, Amelia. You can say that you passed. Lauren was right, after all. She and you are just in a different league to me. I’m not fully Vampire and not fully Witch. That’s why I lost control and bit Kristen. No pure-blooded Vampire would have had that loss of control, but I’m part-Witch. That makes me the monster people think Vampires are.
“Lauren’s right, I shouldn’t pass on this curse by being with a Witch and having children with more Witch blood to battle with.”
I clenched my jaw, Dark Energy once more crackling beneath my skin. “That’s ridiculous! By that logic, I shouldn’t have children at all because I’d be passing on my ADHD.”
“It’s not the same thing,” Natalie said before leaving.
I just glared at the door.
Natalie was wrong.
It was the same logic, and I couldn’t abide it.
I got changed as fast as I could, before stalking out of the changing rooms.
I didn’t go after Natalie, though.
No, I found Willow reading in a secluded spot in the gardens.
I sat down next to her and she lowered her book.
“Amelia,” she said with a smile. “How did training go?”
Instead of answering her, I leaned over and hungrily captured her lips with my own, moving with the same purpose that had gotten me through the trial.
She hesitated for a moment before melting into the kiss as my hand went to her waist and she dropped her book.
Energy crackled over my skin and her own came to meet it.
I’d shown others how I was feeling more than a few times through my Energy, but this was an equal exchange, and I could feel as Willow melted into me, her heart beating faster as she relished the feel of my skin against hers.
I leaned further into the kiss, my free hand threading through her hair as a singular need rushed through me.
I wanted her.
And not just like this, I wanted every inch of her, my heart thundering in my chest and my cheeks flushing at the thought.
Willow’s hands went to my waist, her desperate grip underlining what her Energy was telling me.
That she wanted me as well.
“Get a room!”
The sound of another girl yelling at us pulled us from our embrace, and I realised that I was pressed hard up against my girlfriend in front of the entire school.
My cheeks flushed once more, but for entirely different reasons from before.
Though there was a small part that was still flushed because taking Willow back to my room didn’t actually sound like a terrible idea.
But then Willow placed her hand over mine, her worried look quieting those thoughts.
“What’s wrong?” Willow asked. “I could feel your fury through your Energy. What happened?”
“What do you think of having cross-species children?”
Willow raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think we’ve been dating long enough to think about it.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t mean for us specifically. Just... in general.” I sighed. “Lauren had a go at me today in training for not dating a pure-blooded Witch because our children wouldn’t be as strong, and I just... I can’t stand that kind of thinking.”
Willow shrugged. “Neither can I, and while it’s infuriating that some Witches think like that, not all of them do. I just ignore the ones like Lauren who do.”
“That’s what I was doing, but Natalie took it to heart, and now she’s being all ‘I’m a monster because I’m part-Witch and part-Vampire and having children with a Witch would be passing on my curse’ and I got so mad because that’s ridiculous, and I can’t believe that she would just accept that kind of bullshit thinking about herself.”
Willow frowned, pulling away from me. “So, that’s why you came out here and made out with me? Because you’re mad at Natalie and wanted to prove a point?”
“What? No, I-”
But Willow was already standing up.
I stood up too, and she shook her head.
“Look, Amelia, I don’t care if you have feelings for Natalie. I get it, you two only couldn’t date because of the danger of her biting you, not because either of you don’t have feelings for each other. But all that means is that I can’t shake the feeling that if that wasn’t a problem tomorrow, you’d forget about me in a heartbeat.”
“Willow, that’s not true. I don’t understand why you would think that.”
“And that’s the problem, Amelia.” She sighed. “Figure it out before bothering me again.”
She turned and left, while I just stood there, unable to grasp what had just happened.
My throat tightened as tears welled in my eyes.
I stormed through to the dormitories, finding that Natalie, thankfully, wasn’t in our room.
I collapsed onto my bed and hugged Mr Fluffy, my cuddly toy rabbit, to my chest before crying myself to sleep.
Chapter Twelve
I arrived once more in Maria’s tower.
She frowned as soon as she saw me. “What’s wrong?”
I looked over to one of the glass instruments on the table beside me, seeing that my reflection had red, puffy eyes.
Even in my dreams, it was clear that I had been crying.
“There’s a girl that the Amazons brought to the school to go through their training. Lauren. She bullied Natalie so badly that she couldn’t concentrate on the test today. Now Natalie thinks that her failure means that Lauren’s bullshit about Witches not mixing with other species was right. And then I got mad and... Well, I might have gone to make out with Willow as a ‘fuck you’ to that bullshit. And now Willow’s mad at me because she thinks that I have a thing for Natalie or whatever.”
Maria folded her arms. “Well, I don’t think I’m qualified to give dating advice after my last relationship ended with my lover’s sister executing her, but with the rest of it... It is bullshit. But it’s bullshit that apparently half of Witches believe now.” She shook her head. “This is what happens when we distance ourselves from Humans and Angelborn disappear. We were never this split, and the existence of Angelborn meant that power was never directly tied to lineage.” She looked away. “I don’t understand what Life’s doing. Why she disappeared and stopped making as many Angels. She has the power to stop this, but she refuses.”
I frowned, her words distracting me from my troubles. “You’ve never struck me as the type to appeal to gods to fix things.”
She snorted before brushing a loose strand of hair from her eyes as she made her way over to me. “You know, I never have been. But still, I resent having to fix something that someone else could fix in a moment. Still, if I have to fix this, then I will.”
I smiled in agreement, but then caught myself, frustration flaring once more.
“Urgh, stop doing that!”
Maria raised an eyebrow as I stepped away from her. “Doing what?”
“Trying to make me forget what you did. You tried to kill Mr Stiles, but he was innocent.”
Maria snorted, folding her arms. “Innocent? Amelia, he works as an elite guard for the Demon Queen. There is no way that he is ‘innocent’ unl
ess you and I have very different ideas of ‘innocence’.”
I glared at her. “Freya would never use him to hurt anyone.”
Maria just raised an eyebrow and my surety faded.
Esme’s words about Freya’s hellhole of a prison echoed in my mind and I had to admit that maybe Freya wasn’t the older sister I remembered.
How well could I have known her as a young child? And she’d had years to change into a different person.
But I didn’t speak my thoughts aloud, not wanting to let Maria know that she might be right.
Maria sighed. “Look, Amelia, I’m sure your sister is a good sister, but power like the Demon Crown can only exist if it protects itself. And ‘protecting itself’ never looks pretty. But even if Queen Freya is a perfect Queen who has never resorted to violence to protect her position, Aaron also worked for her father.”
“Even so, you can’t prove that he’s done anything wrong. You can’t just presume guilt to justify violence because it’s the easier option. I understand that you want to save your sisters but you’re Maria-freaking-Brown. Half of the magical world trembles at the sound of your name, and you’re trying to tell me that you couldn’t find another way to save your coven?”
I wasn’t sure what I expected to achieve with my words, but it certainly wasn’t the deflated look Maria gave me before turning away.
“You don’t know how long it’s been since someone last held me to a higher standard,” she eventually said before sighing and turning back to me. “You’re right. There were no good options available to me, but I could have tried to find a better one. Hell, I could have even tried to find a better sacrifice.”
I glared at her. “How are you so okay with the idea of killing someone?”
Maria gave me an icy look. “Amelia, I am going to make one thing clear to you right now. I am not, and will never be, a hypocrite. I will not make sacrifices if I am not willing to wield the knife myself.”
“Then just don’t make sacrifices!”
Maria rolled her eyes. “Now you sound like Esme. But Esme has spent the last two centuries being ignored by the rest of the Amazon leadership, while things just keep getting worse and worse. Asking nicely means that you get to say, ‘I told you so’. Actually stepping up and getting your hands dirty is how you change things.”
“Maria, I am not asking you to be a full-on pacifist but killing has to be off the table.” I glared at her. “You know, if the Angel who cursed you hadn’t had that boundary – and if I hadn’t after you hurt Natalie and Mr Stiles – you’d already be dead. If you’re still alive because other people felt that you didn’t need to die, maybe other people deserve the same.”
Maria regarded me carefully for a moment before sighing. “You’re really set on getting me to change my ways...”
“Because I think you and Esme are right. This current system sucks and I have every intention of burning it down, but I can’t work with you if you don’t change your methods.”
Maria smiled. “Well, if it’s the price of cooperation, I’ll more than happily play by your rules.”
I folded my arms, not sure what I’d actually wanted.
For her to agree because she changed her mind, not just to get something?
But Esme was right, I probably needed Maria, so this would have to be enough.
AS SOON AS I AWOKE, I swiftly got changed and headed for my auntie’s house.
Just because I wanted to know if she’d spoken to my Mum.
And not because Natalie had been in the bathroom and I wanted to avoid seeing her.
And not because I wanted to get breakfast somewhere other than the dining hall so that I could avoid potentially running into Willow.
I sighed as I reached my auntie’s front door.
How had everything gone to shit so quickly?
“Amy,” Auntie Jess greeted as she opened the door. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just... Have you spoken to my mum already?”
She sighed as she stepped aside. “Come on in. I’ll get you some breakfast.”
I nodded, both glad for the excuse to not go to the dining hall, and nervous that my auntie’s tone seemed to suggest that whatever she was going to tell me wasn’t simple.
My auntie led me through to her kitchen and she put a couple of slices of sourdough bread in the toaster before turning to me.
“I did go and talk to your mum when she got home from work last night.”
“And? How did it go?”
Auntie Jess sighed again. “She wasn’t super happy to see me, but I think she was glad for the opportunity to find out more about what’s going on without talking to your dad.”
I cringed. “She’s still not talking to him?”
“It’s not been that long, Amy.”
I nodded, but that didn’t put me at ease. What if nothing changed?
What if they never started talking again?
But there was nothing I could do about that...
Which was almost worse than if I could.
“So, what was she saying?” I eventually asked.
Auntie Jess sighed. “She’s still not happy with you being here. I tried to explain that it was the safest place for you, but...”
“But?”
“She asked if there was a way for you to stop being a Witch. To strip you of your magic.”
I frowned. This world of magic was still so new to me, I hadn’t realised just how important being a Witch was to me.
But it was.
It was part of who I was, not just something I could swap out and change.
“She’s just scared for you,” Auntie Jess said. “She knows that this is dangerous and wants you to be safe.”
“Right. Which probably would have been her excuse for why she also panics at any slight sign that I might be gay. It doesn’t sting any less now than it did then.”
My stomach twisted as I remembered that I hadn’t even told her the truth about that.
My mum didn’t even know that I had a girlfriend.
Assuming that I still had one.
Unless...
I turned to my auntie with a frown. “You didn’t tell her I was gay, did you?”
Auntie Jess shook her head. “No, I figured that was something for you to tell her.” She gave me a sympathetic look. “She’s really not reacted well in the past?”
I shrugged. “She nearly had a heart attack about me cutting my hair and is always telling me to wear more make-up. Every time I even vaguely stray from feminine things, she freaks out, and we all know what that straying is associated with.”
Auntie Jess sighed. “You know, I know that your mum’s not perfect on these things, and it did take her a little while, but she did eventually wrap her head around Freya being bi.”
I frowned. Freya was bi? And had been out to our parents?
But then I remembered.
My earliest memories weren’t of Freya actually being at home.
They were of her being away.
It was hard to put a timeline on how long that had been when I’d been so young, but...
I remembered being nervous when she’d come back.
The stranger who was reclaiming my playroom as her own.
But she had said something about a girlfriend.
Auntie Jess smiled, and I realised that I was frowning.
“Your memories must be a mess,” she said. “If they hadn’t been locked away, you’d have probably just forgotten a lot of them over the years as you grew up.”
“Yeah, it’s strange... I can remember quite a lot now, even if I was still young when Freya left. But I don’t always remember that I remember, you know?” I sighed. “But my mum was really fine with her dating girls?”
“Yeah. Like I said, she’s not perfect, but you don’t have to worry about her rejecting you.”
I sighed. “At least, not over that. But what about over me being a Witch?”
“Amy... You have to bear in mind how Freya left. Demon
s attacked your parents to get to Freya, and then they almost managed to kill her. If she wasn’t an Angel, they would have killed her. Your mother watched her take a sword through the gut while she was powerless to help.
“And then Demons came for you too. And now you’re disappearing just like Freya did.”
“But Freya’s alive and safe.”
“Yes, but she never came home. Just as your mum is worried that you never will.”
I wanted to argue, to say that of course I would come home.
But with everything with the Amazons...
“She’s not wrong to worry about that,” I eventually muttered as my auntie took the finished toast from the toaster and passed it to me, along with the honey and butter.
“No, she’s not wrong,” Auntie Jess said. “But you shouldn’t lose hope, Amy. You’ve been doing well in the trials so far, and while the final trial will be the most difficult, you’ve still got a month to prepare.”
I nodded, hoping that she was right.
Chapter Thirteen
I headed to the training grounds and had to suppress a groan as I remembered that Natalie was no longer there.
Leaving just me and Charlotte.
I was glad that I wasn’t completely alone, but if Charlotte failed...
I tried not to think about that too much. Charlotte probably had a better chance of passing than I did.
“I didn’t see you at breakfast,” Charlotte said as I walked over to her on the way out of the changing rooms.
I shrugged. “I needed to speak with my auntie.”
Thankfully, Charlotte nodded, not pressing me further.
As much as I wanted to ask her if she’d spoken to Natalie or Willow, and how they were, I also didn’t really want to be distracted during training today.
So, I opted for just trying to ignore it.
As if I could forget everything that had happened if I just didn’t speak about it.
We stood at the edge of the remaining girls – there were only about a dozen of us left – and Lauren made her way over to us.
“Hey, Amelia,” she said with a smile. “Looks like there aren’t many of us left, huh?”