“I’m the Police and Crime Commissioner for this area, I’m sure you’ve heard of how the initiative I launched saved this election?”
“Saved?”
“Well yes, before my police acted a few days ago, the leading candidates were a crime boss and a corrupt mayor!”
“Oh, yes.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Actually we…”
“On camera?”
“Well, let me just double check a few things. What initiative?”
“I launched a full-bodied approach to dealing with hate crime. We felt incidents were on the rise nationally and needed to act locally, so the force focused on it. We made multiple arrests of people committing assaults and verbal hate crimes, and then my detectives were able to solve not just a murder case and prove that candidate Hume had orchestrated it, but that a leading media source was corrupt and the mayor was behind it.” The PCC grinned as widely as she could, which was very wide.
“Are you good to film a short piece now?”
“Oh, I am always ready to film a piece. Where would you like me to stand? The light looks good there?”
“Will you be working with the new mayor?”
“I will be in his office tomorrow morning to co-ordinate our approaches, I see no problems there.” It wasn’t clear whether the PCC never read the Morthern Star, or if she was just ignoring the criticism it had levelled against her.
“Great, let’s have a go, and you’re right, that would be a great place to stand.”
“Well don’t you look pleased with yourselves,” said a man who didn’t, the owner cum front of house man of The Smoking Monkey.
“Nice to see you too,” Lindleman said and waved, still laughing at the fact they didn’t know if he was just really bad at being nice or a total bastard to them.
“I suppose you want to eat here tonight.”
“Yes, yes, we would and ooh, what can I see here, new menus?” Grayling said picking one up. They were indeed freshly printed out.
“We have improved upon perfection,” the owner said.
“Oh really.”
“What,” Maruma asked, “is the Spicy Boy?”
“None of you want that, it’s an extra hot dish for our mature customers.”
“Four Spicy Boys please,” Sharma said.
“Seriously?” the owner said.
“Seriously?” Grayling said.
“Yes, to both,” Sharma confirmed, “and double our normal drinks.”
“I’m not sure I like very hot food,” Grayling pointed out.
“Laughing at one person is bullying,” Sharma explained, “but laughing at everyone is group bonding and we need a good team laugh tonight.”
“I think we can put this week down as successful,” Lindleman tried.
“I’m sure we can. But as we all know, getting a prosecution doesn’t mean getting the edges of our nerves back. So, tuck into some Spicy Boys and for the first time in weeks stop giving a shit about fascists. Thinking about them is what they want.”
THE END
The Morthern Detectives Will Return
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