by Eve Black
He picked up the bank account printout and pointed to the balance at the bottom. “Why haven’t you spent the money, Diana?”
Seriously?! That’s what he was angry about? That she hadn’t spent his fucking money?
“I don’t want it.” Her answer was flat.
He grunted then bent to point at the balance on the hotel account.
“I only see charges for the nightly room rate,” he pointed out unnecessarily.
“What, David?” she huffed. “Is there a problem?” What was his goddamn problem?
“What have you been doing all day if you haven’t been spending my money?”
Sneering, Diana slowly rose to her feet, her gaze never leaving David’s face.
“That’s none of your goddamn business. I haven’t been spending your money because I. Don’t. Want. It!” she spat. “I’ve never wanted it, you blind jackass!”
He scoffed. “And how will you afford your living expenses? Your fun money? Your food—and what the hell have you been eating if you haven’t been ordering room service?”
She shrugged. “I make my own meals.”
Stunned, David gaped at her before turning to look at the kitchen. “You mean to say you actually cook your own food?”
She rolled her eyes. “I have been since I was nine.”
“And who delivers the groceries? How do you pay them?” His smirk made Diana want to rip his lips off.
“I walk to the market myself. I use my debit card to pull money from my savings account.”
He gaped again, his black brows curved upward in almost humorous disbelief. Almost.
“You can’t be serious,” he began. “You have hundreds of thousands of dollars at your disposal—”
“I don’t want it,” she cut him off, pinning him with a glare.
“What the hell are you talking about? Of course, you want my money, that’s all you women ever want. What’s not yours to have.”
As if he’d sucked the air from the room, the fight left Diana. She slumped onto the couch, her shoulders limp and curling into herself.
Her voice barely a whisper she couldn’t even hear herself speaking. “Is that what you really think about me? That I am just another Rinna, out to get your money by scamming you with babies?” She couldn’t stop the tears from torching the backs of her eyes, but she blinked them away before they could fall, determined to hold them at bay until David was gone. “But…you’re right. I do want something that isn’t mine to have.”
She met David’s gaze, anguish overriding her sense of preservation.
“I want your heart. Your love. I want from you what you’ve already taken from me.”
Silence met her declaration as a steel curtain descended over David’s expression.
Realizing she’d shown her greatest vulnerability to man who only saw the world through dollar signs, she rose to her aching feet and offered David a sad smile.
“You can see yourself out, right?” She didn’t bother waiting for him to answer. She spun on her heel and hurried to her room where she closed the door, locking David and her heart on the other side.
Chapter 21
What the hell have I done? Those words choked him, his mind stuck on the memory of Diana’s face when he’d all but accused her of being Rinna. A woman he hated. A woman who was as cold and heartless as the money she craved.
But that wasn’t Diana. Diana took care of her family, she worked hard, diligently. From what he’d learned of her from Alexei’s reports and from Rick’s glowing praises about her, she was truly a treasure. That was just it, though. He hadn’t learned much about her on his own. Whenever they were together, he’d had one of two things on his mind: fucking or fighting. He was either trying to get into her pants or trying to push her away.
He knew, in the deepest parts of him, that there was more to Diana than what he’d uncovered through cold, hard reports. And the truth was…he wanted to know her. To know what was beneath the sexy body and the thought-obliterating smiles. Would it be so difficult to get to know the mother of his children? No, she hadn’t asked to be impregnated by an arrogant asshole, but now that she was, there was no going back. He could either spend the rest of his life putting a wall up between them, believing the worst about her, or he could let his walls down, let her in, and spend the rest of his life…what? Happy? Could Diana make him happy?
Just admit it, you are blinded to the truth because you’re scared of what you might feel for her.
What did he feel for her? He knew he couldn’t go a moment without thinking about her, without craving her. He knew he wanted to see her smile, though he was usually the reason for her frowns. He knew he wanted her in his bed, and not just so he could pleasure her, but also because he just wanted to hold her, to comfort her, to lend her his strength as the pregnancy progressed. She was carrying his babies. Babies! He was going to be a father, and Diana, the goddess, had given him that.
She didn’t deserve his mistrust, his anger, his bitterness. She deserved all the best of him.
But what did he have to offer her that hadn’t already been tainted? He was a man broken by the deeds of others, unable to trust even the purest of souls.
He had no idea what he was supposed to do—Diana had spilled her heart to him, and there was nothing he could say in response that would come close to what she’d confessed.
I want from you what you’ve already taken from me… Did that mean what he thought it meant? What he wanted it to mean? She loved him?
His body vibrating, he took a step toward the door separating him from his Diana. Then another step, and then another, until he was striding toward the door, his fist raised to knock.
He halted, though. Would pounding on her door really make her more accepting of his presence? No. Diana was as stubborn as she was beautiful, which was one of the more appealing things about her.
Instead of knocking, David tapped—once. Twice. And waited. He pressed his ear to the door.
Sobbing.
Diana was crying. Because of him.
Swallowing the lump of regret and guilt in his throat, he called, “Diana.”
The sobbing stopped, and he pressed ahead.
“Diana, darling…” He heard a gasp at the endearment. “I am not leaving until you open the door and let me talk to you.”
“Go away, David. There isn’t anything you can say to me that will erase what you’ve already said,” she called back, her voice muffled through he door.
“Please, Diana. Let me explain—”
“Explain what? Why you’re such an asshole? Why you treat innocent women like gold-plated whores?” Her scathing remarks served to twist the screw of guilt already embedded in his chest.
The simplest answer was always the best. “Yes.”
Silence greeted him, then there was a shuffling as she drew closer to the door. Her voice was louder this time. “What do you want David?”
He pressed his forehead against the door, wanting to be as close to her as he could even through the polished wood.
“I want to apologize. I want to explain why I am so…”
“Cold. Heartless. Mean,” Diana supplied.
Though each word was like a knife to his heart, he couldn’t help but chuckle at her sassiness.
“Yes, yes, and yes,” he answered, pushing away from the door to stare at it. What he wouldn’t pay for x-ray vision just then. Was she scowling at him? Sneering? Was there even a hint of hope or regret on her face?
“Please, Diana. I need to make this right,” he pleaded, his voice cracking. His chest cracking open to present his shriveled, black heart.
He waited, minutes ticking by as the tense silence continued. Finally, the door lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing a goddess in sweat pants. Her eyes were rimmed in red and puffy, her face was pale, and her lips were pressed together between her teeth. No doubt she was biting back what she really wanted to tell him. Perhaps “fuck you” or “suck a dick” or—worse— “I never wa
nt to see you again.” His gut roiled, pushing bile into his chest.
Determined to change her mind, he rasped, “Rinna…twisted me. Then she shattered me. But that isn’t where this fucked-up tale begins,” he said, cringing.
“David?” Seemingly against her better judgement, Diana took a step closer to him, hesitating when she came within arm’s reach.
Sighing, David rubbed his neck. “Let us go sit on the couch, yeah? I think I’ll need some physical support to keep from falling at your feet.”
Diana snorted but followed him anyway, flopping down on one end of the couch. He sat slowly, his eyes never leaving her face.
She tilted her head, watching him in return. Her expression was tight with wariness, her lips pressed into a thin line and the corners of her eyes pinched.
Just get it over with.
“My accident…” he blurted, his mouth running ahead of his thoughts.
She nodded once, her expression unchanged. “What happened?”
“It was a trail ride in the Sierra Nevadas. An old college chum invited me out to ride the back trails of Tahoe with him. I was young, loved the high of the adrenaline rush, so I jumped at the chance. We left early that morning, heading into the hills, and it was going so well in the beginning. But…then the fog began to roll in off the lake. It made seeing the ground obstacles difficult. Martin suggested we turn back but… I was so determined to get that rush that I pushed on, ignoring his warnings. I was an arrogant ass, even then.”
Diana snickered but then sobered quickly, her gaze trained on him.
“Go on,” she coaxed, her voice like warm honey, a balm to a tattered soul. He didn’t know if she noticed, but she’d slid closer to him. He needed her closer still.
He sighed, leaning into her warmth, letting her very presence settle into his chest.
“I couldn’t see it…a tree root extending out into the path. The front wheel hit it, I slammed forward into the stem of the handle bar and then flew over the handle bars. I don’t remember much after that except the pain. The excruciating pain. It was like someone had ripped by balls from my body, dipped them in acid, and then nailed them back in place.”
Diana gasped, her face ashen.
“Oh my God, David. I can’t even imagine.” She reached out, cupping his face. Her thumb slowly sliding over this cheek. Again, he leaned into her, her touch both electrifying and calming.
“I woke up in the hospital in Sacramento. They’d had to go in and repair some of the damage to my…err…reproductive organs. It wasn’t until I spoke with the urologist, Dr. Branchard, that I realized what my accident meant. He told me that with damage like that, my fathering children would be nigh on impossible.”
A shudder shook him, making a heavy sigh explode from his chest.
“I died a thousand times that day,” he whispered, his throat too constricted in the memory to put any force behind his words.
“David?” Diana tipped his face, making eye contact and holding it. There was sympathy and pain in her emerald depths. No pity, though.
“All throughout my life, from the time I was a lad, through university, and even into my new adult years, there was one thing I wanted more than anything…”
“Children,” Diana breathed, her voice tremulous. There was a stark sadness in her eyes, one that his soul recognized.
“My own parents were somewhat…off-beat, but they were amazing. They showed me that being a mother or father had its own rewards—even though there were some fears and troubles. I wasn’t always the best-behaved Brenner, but even when I buggered things up, my father was there to teach me how to make things right. My mother was the voice of gentle instruction, but she was also the shrewd and dogged supporter of my dreams—even when I set my heart on being a seal trainer.”
Diana chuckled. “Seal trainer?”
He grinned, his heart tripping over itself at the sight of the soft smile on her face.
Keep that there.
“That only lasted one summer, though. Thankfully.”
“So, you grew up with wonderful parents and knew you wanted to be a parent yourself.”
David nodded. “So, when Dr. Branchard told me that the one thing I wanted had been stripped from me because of my own stupid arrogance, I felt pieces of my soul burn and die. Thousands of pieces, ripped away, lit ablaze, and then tossed into darkness. I lost myself in work after that, determined to push aside the pain, the loss of a dream. The result of that blind ambition became a multi-billion-dollar company.”
“You worked to forget the pain,” Diana remarked, dropping her hand from his face to his chest. Her fingers resting just over his heart. “I can understand that, David. I can. When my father died, I buried myself in my studies, ignoring my friends, my family, until it all fell down around my ears. It took a single phone call from my sister to tell me that my mother was basically working herself to death. I went home, saw the shadow that was left of her, and then dropped out of school the next week. I had allowed my own pain to blind me to the pain of others. Yes, I was mourning my father, but I was also placing a burden on my mother. She’d essentially lost her husband and her daughter in the same month.”
David pulled her into his chest, pressing her head down and kissing her forehead. God, it felt so good to have her there, in his embrace. In his care.
“You do understand, then,” David acknowledged, taking a chance, reaching out to place his trembling hand on her cheek. Would she let him offer her comfort as well? He wanted to, Lord how he wanted to. She didn’t pull away.
Baby steps.
“What about Rinna?” she prodded, her lips twisting into a sneer at the woman’s name.
Here goes.
“Rinna was the greatest mistake I ever made. I offered her a place in my life, an unguarded place, and it left me vulnerable. Weak. She used that to get whatever she wanted out of me. I was so desperate for the family I could never have that I settled for her, for the façade of domesticity. She was beautiful, cunning, elegant—the perfect wife for a billionaire businessman who globetrotted around the world. I was so determined to have the picture of a family that I ignored the warning signs; the trips on her own, the hotel bills with two meals and champagne, the designer clothes and jewelry I didn’t buy her… It took me finding her in our bed with another man for me to realize that I had been hurting myself by refusing to see the truth. I could never have the family I wanted—even without the children—with a woman like Rinna.
Once I’d cut her off, she pulled out her most vicious weapon.”
“The baby,” Diana murmured, her face turning green.
David grunted, sick rising into his throat. “Yes, the baby. She didn’t know about the accident, about the sterility diagnosis.
“But you aren’t sterile,” Diana remarked, her hand dropping to her belly. His gaze followed, widening. His children were nestled there. His future. His heart and soul.
“I didn’t know that then. So, when she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant with my baby, I want to say that I was immediately angry at her lie.”
“You weren’t?”
Wanting to touch her, to feel her, he dropped his hand from her face and brushed his thumb over her knee, sliding his hand onto her thigh. She still didn’t pull away.
Relief assailed him, and he continued.
“No. For a fraction of a second I…I felt innumerable joy. I was going to be a father. I was going to be the best damn father—but then reality set in. That single moment of bliss was destroyed by the ugliness of truth. She didn’t know it, but Rinna had broken me, utterly. That feeling, that joy, in that millisecond, was the best feeling I had ever experienced. But she tainted it. Ruined it.”
David sucked in a breath, gripping Diana’s thigh to anchor himself.
“I knew then that I never wanted to know the loss of that kind of joy again, to be robbed of something so pure and bright…”
Diana dropped her hand from his chest and he immediately felt the loss of her heat
. Her grace. But then, she grasped his hand, squeezing it, pressing it into her thigh as if knowing he needed the weight of her hand to keep him grounded.
“What about now?” Diana asked, her voice…hopeful?
His heart pounding, he met her gaze, scouring her expression for any hint of regret or guilt or disgust.
There was none.
“Now…you’ve given me a reason for joy again, Diana.”
Chapter 22
Over the next month, David was at the suite nightly. They ate dinner together, discussing everything from his work, to memories about his travels, to her years in school. She learned a lot about David as he’d been as a child, a trouble-making teenager, and then a college heartbreaker. There was little they didn’t talk about. Except their babies. She was both relieved and nervous about their lack of discussion on the most pressing topic. What was going to happen once the babies were born? Would they have joint custody? David had already spoken with her about the nursery he was setting up in his penthouse, but there was no mention of her being there as well. Did he expect the babies to stay with him and she would pop in whenever?
That thought made everything within her scream in terror and anguish. She couldn’t imagine her life without her babies in it and…she couldn’t imagine her life without David in it, either. He’d become the center of a quilt she was weaving around herself, one that consisted of threads of her heart, her soul, her desires, her needs…and her babies. She wanted everything with that man, but…he didn’t want the same from her.
That night, four weeks ago, when he’d explained the accident, his emotional upheaval, and his implosion with Rinna, he’d spoken about his joy at finally being a father, of having the children he wanted. But there was no mention of her in that joy.
Was she supposed to hand the babies over when they were born? Would she be a visitor in her own children’s lives?
Fuck that! Even if she had to fight tooth and nail, she would keep her babies. Though…how she would do that without a job, she didn’t know.
After much grumbling on both sides, Diana finally agreed to drop the job in the laundry room and use the money David had set aside for her. She still hated feeling like a leech, but David had been persuasive, citing that her being exhausted all the time wasn’t good for her or the babies, and that she needed that time before the babies came to prepare.