“You wanna come?”
“Nah. I think I’ll give Allie a call. But you go have fun.”
“Okay.” Jake’s phone buzzed, and he answered it. “Hey, man, what’s up? Fuck yeah, let’s do it—”
While Jake made his plans, Hunter stowed the food Gran had packed for them, to avoid the temptation to eavesdrop. It didn’t bother him that Jake wanted a night out; what did was the way he seemed to be using it as a way to avoid finishing their conversation. Gloria had been right that afternoon. He needed to send in that damn application. He needed to start worrying about his own future. A slow, creeping ache clawed its way into Hunter’s chest. He shut the fridge door and leaned his head against it.
What had been stopping him? He knew he could write well enough to suit the position. After he’d finally finished his degree, the few articles he’d written for online blogs had been met with praise, and he’d enjoyed doing it. But then somehow, for some reason, he’d stopped. He missed writing, though, there was no denying that.
When Hunter left the kitchen, he heard the shower running. Jake had left his shoes and dirty clothes on the floor in the middle of the bedroom. His bag appeared to have exploded, the contents spilling out along with desert sand to make it look like they’d just come back from a day at the beach. The fact that it brought a smile to Hunter’s face probably meant he should get his head examined.
For a moment, he watched the blur of Jake’s body through the frosted glass as he soaped himself under the spray, and then he disrobed and slid the door open. “You want some company?”
“You bet.”
Jake finished rinsing the shampoo off of his head before drawing Hunter close. Even though Hunter was slighter, he’d been keeping fit with yoga and running, and the appreciative look in Jake’s eyes made his belly tingle, his thoughts from the kitchen evaporating in the steam of the shower.
“Are you sure you don’t mind me going out tonight?” Jake asked. He nuzzled Hunter’s ear.
“As long as you come back.” Hunter closed his eyes at the feel of soapy hands moving over his body. They teased, circling down his back and around to grip his ass.
“I’ll always come back.” Jake’s voice muffled against his neck. Hunter let himself be manhandled gently as Jake paid close attention to all the most sensitive places, trailing kisses over the spots he’d rinsed, so that Hunter ached by the time Jake closed a hand over his erection. The coarse hair of their chests rasped. They kissed, and Hunter reached down to jerk their cocks together, both hard and slick with lather and precome. Hunter opened his mouth and let the water rush in, followed quickly by Jake’s wet tongue. He could hardly breathe, and he didn’t care. Drowning like this would be the perfect way to die.
HUNTER HAD no idea what time it was when Jake stumbled into the apartment. He’d had Allie over to watch a movie, and she’d left a little after midnight—grumbling about her empty bottle of Wild Turkey—so it must have been much later, though it seemed like he’d just fallen asleep.
A loud scrape and mumbled curse made him sit up. “Jake? You all right?”
“Shit, sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
He watched Jake’s shadowy form kick off his sneakers and peel off his clothes. “Did you have fun?”
“I think I drank a li’l too much,” Jake said. He fell into bed without his usual grace. Hunter laughed in spite of being woken up as warm arms wrapped around him. “Missed you. The boys asked after you.”
“Oh yeah?”
He could see Jake frowning in the darkness. He smelled of cigarettes and cheap beer. “They did. Brian likes you, y’know. He likes you ’cause I like you.”
“You like me?” Hunter snorted. “That’s good, I guess.”
Jake tightened his arms. “You know what I mean. You’re my favorite.”
“You’re hammered.”
“Definitely.”
The hot press of a mouth on his neck made Hunter stiffen. Jake slid his leg over and up to rub against Hunter’s groin, which reacted in spite of his irritation.
“Jake, stop,” Hunter said.
Jake’s hand drifted to cup his burgeoning erection. “Why?”
He pushed Jake away and rolled over onto his side. It was so tempting just to give in to this pull between them, but that had been his problem for too long. “I don’t want to fuck you when you’re drunk.”
Jake nosed his neck and pressed up behind him. “But I’m leaving again soon. We have to make the most of our time together, isn’t that what you always say?”
“Yeah, but things are different now. Maybe that’s what they call settling.”
“What’re you saying, Hunt?” Jake’s voice grew serious.
“You were right, last night. I can’t always be waiting for you.” Hunter was thankful Jake couldn’t see him as his eyes filled with tears. He kept his voice steady. “I can’t do it anymore.”
“So you want to end this?”
“I want you to stay here and figure out a way to be with me. Or maybe we’ll have to. I’m saying I want a full-time thing.”
“That’s your ultimatum?”
Hunter thought he might be sick. “Yeah. I guess it is.”
THE NEXT day, Jake’s things were gone.
Everything slowed down as Hunter’s eyes roamed the empty apartment. It hurt to breathe, but he kept on inhaling. He didn’t know why he was surprised. Had he really thought he’d feel good about their breakup? Even if it had been the right thing to do, it felt like hell.
He went down to the bookstore so he wouldn’t wonder where Jake was or what he was doing, not that it helped much. He watched mindless TV and ate popcorn with extra butter for dinner, which he washed down with soda. He talked to Allie until he got sick of her trash-talking Jake, even though he knew she was trying to be a supportive friend.
The next day was the same.
Hunter had once wanted to be a painter, but those dreams were quickly dashed when he realized he would never be anything more than mediocre. Next he’d planned to be a biologist like his mom, maybe even a professor like her, too. He’d never thought much about writing until high school, when his Honors English teacher had encouraged him to submit one of his essays for a regional contest, and he’d surprised himself by winning. That revelation had led to a college major in journalism but had never progressed further. In spite of the Jake situation, a feeling of satisfaction spread over him after he sent the fellowship application to the Daily.
That feeling didn’t last long. He dreamed of Jake, a horrible dream. Jake was in the middle of an open field, trapped in a tangle of barbed wire as bullets whizzed by. Hunter called out to him, but his voice didn’t work. Shrapnel tore into Jake’s flesh, and Hunter could do nothing but silently scream, the noise catching in his throat and choking him. With a dawning terror, he realized that he, too, held a gun in his hands. His finger was on the trigger.
He lurched awake in the wee hours of the morning. The doorbell buzzed in a staccato rhythm.
“Hey,” Jake said when Hunter went downstairs and opened the front door. He looked like hell, pale but with dark rings under his eyes.
“What are you doing here, Jake?”
“I’m sorry I woke you up. I know I shouldn’t have come. But I can’t fuckin’ sleep.” Jake kicked at some gravel. One of the circles under his eyes was really a bruise, Hunter realized with a shock, dark purple and spreading over Jake’s cheekbone.
“Did you get in a fight?” The aftereffects of the nightmare brought an added edge of fear to Hunter’s voice. He steadied himself against the doorframe so Jake wouldn’t notice.
“Doesn’t matter.” Jake’s voice sounded dead. He started to turn away.
“Wait—what’s wrong?”
“Can I come in for a minute?”
Hunter nodded and stepped aside. He followed Jake up the stairs to his apartment. Once inside, Jake paced like a tiger with a festering wound.
“So are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” Hunt
er asked him.
“I can’t sleep. Just can’t sleep anymore.”
“What do you mean, like at all?”
“Basically.” Jake sighed. “I think I need a drink.”
“You don’t need a drink. Jake… what are you doing here?” He couldn’t help the lurch of hope in his chest, but then a choked sound made Hunter freeze.
“No. No, I should go.”
Hunter blocked the door. “You’re scaring me. Just tell me what happened.”
“My ma’s dead.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah, a few months ago. I got an e-mail from the correctional facility. It was an overdose, but I dunno the details. I guess you can get drugs anywhere if you want them that bad.”
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” It seemed like such a meaningless thing to say. Without thinking, Hunter crossed the room and hugged Jake. Jake’s arms wrapped around him in a jerky, robotic motion, and he buried his face against Hunter’s neck. His shoulders shook.
“She didn’t fucking care about me, so why should I care if she’s dead? Doesn’t make any sense.”
“Of course it makes sense. She was your mother.” Hunter rubbed Jake’s back, felt the warm muscles moving under his skin.
“A shitty one.”
“Yeah, she was, but that’s not your fault.”
Jake sniffed. “Either Gran doesn’t know or she doesn’t think I know.”
“Are you gonna tell her?”
“Yeah, I was going to do it the first day I was back, but I couldn’t. I’ve never even said it out loud. Not that I’d seen her in forever, but…. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m crying like a damn baby.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this happened to you.” Hunter didn’t know or care how long they stood there. He knew about parents leaving, but he still saw his father a few times a year. They weren’t best friends, but they got along well enough.
“You know what? I could really use a smoke.”
Hunter glanced out the window. The first light of dawn had begun to appear through the closed blinds. “Come on,” he said, grabbing Jake’s arm. “Let’s take a walk.”
The cool, dewy air of the night still lingered on the deserted streets. They made their way toward the intersection that would take them to the riverfront. It seemed like the right place to go, better than his cramped apartment, at least. Jake didn’t talk much, so Hunter stayed quiet, his mind churning over the news and wondering what to do. His own mom was healthy and relatively young. She’d always supported him and provided for him, even paying his college tuition. No matter what happened to Hunter in his life, he would always be able to count on his mom to bail him out. Jake had never had that luxury and never would.
The cobblestones of River Street were damp with the night’s rain, which would soon dissipate, burned off by the morning sun. They found a bench and watched the mist roll off the river as Jake finished his cigarette. Behind them, one of the riverfront cafés was opening up for breakfast; hot coffee and fresh bread brought a comforting scent to the air.
Jake butted out his smoke and scrubbed his hands over his face. He looked older, and Hunter couldn’t stop himself from moving closer so that their legs pressed against each other. Jake had once described the bump on his nose, broken from a fight during basic training, as his reminder that there were bigoted assholes the world over and convincing them they were wrong with fists wasn’t always the best strategy, even if it felt damn good. He was always so honorable and brave—even now. Hunter wondered again about the bruise.
Jake sighed. “This is so fucked. My mom, you, all of it.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“Can we just pretend? Just pretend none of that happened with us and you’re still my boyfriend. Please?”
“Okay, what do you want me to do?” They were treading on dangerous ground, but Hunter had never seen Jake like this, so raw and eager. His bloodshot eyes widened.
“Just… sit here with me for a while. Tell me a stupid story.”
A few seabirds skimmed down from the sky and landed on the water. Hunter’s mother would know the exact species, but to him, they just looked like ordinary gulls, the kind that would swarm on the beach at the slightest hint of food. Jake rolled another cigarette and held it downwind as Hunter babbled about the weird customers who came into Gloria’s, the marry/murder/fuck game he and Allie had played on the phone the night before, a terrible movie he’d seen the previous week. Once in a while, Jake smiled, and it felt like a small victory.
Finally, he ran out of stories. Already the light had grown stronger. Soon the promenade would fill with pedestrians and the moment would be lost.
“I love you,” Hunter said. “I just wanted you to know.”
“I know that. God, I hope you never doubt I feel the same way, but you’re right. You’ll be better off without me.”
“I never said that.”
“I’d just fuck up your life if I stayed in it, like I have been. Life’s not too great for people who love me. Or who are supposed to, whatever.”
Hunter rubbed his thumb over the back of Jake’s hand. “Addiction makes people do crazy things. It wasn’t your fault.”
“If I was worth a damn to her, she wouldn’t have left in the first place.”
The retort on the tip of Hunter’s tongue died there. He wanted to tell Jake it wouldn’t be the same with them, not if he stayed. He wanted to be worth a damn to Jake. “You’re worth everything to your gran, and to me.”
“Thanks,” Jake said, but he didn’t sound like he believed it. He looked out across the mist parting over the water. “I wish I could be more for you, baby. You know out of all the people in my life you’re the only one I can count on?” Jake’s voice cracked. “You’re my family.”
Hunter pulled Jake to his feet. “Come on,” he said.
Maybe tomorrow he’d regret this way of saying good-bye, but now he couldn’t think of anything but having Jake inside him. The tension rose as they made their way back to Hunter’s apartment. Once the door was shut, Jake’s hands shook as they pulled off Hunter’s shirt and then skimmed the length of his torso. Hunter watched the action as though it were a dream, sure he was falling. He only realized Jake had picked him up once he became weightless. He was being swept off his feet, after all, and he laughed at the ridiculousness of it.
He didn’t protest being carried to the bed, where Jake pressed him firmly into the mattress. The heat of the erection digging into his thigh made his own need surge, and he hardened between them as Jake rutted against him. Lips and teeth roved down Hunter’s neck to catch the skin there and suck a bruise. Hunter dug his fingers against Jake’s scalp in response to the sweet pain. Jake marked him with a sort of desperation. Hunter wanted it to hurt.
Jake took Hunter’s cock out through the opening of his briefs, stroking it and rubbing his thumb over the tip. Hunter bit the inside of his cheek to stifle his moan. He couldn’t stop his hips from moving when a warm, wet mouth closed around him.
“Wait. I don’t wanna—” he said when he got too close, groping for the box next to his mattress where he kept the essentials. Jake’s skin was hot, and his biceps flexed when they rolled so Hunter, now fully naked, sat astride his hips. Hunter took a moment to run his hands over Jake’s chest. Jake’s thick cock leapt against his belly. It was too much to give up. When Hunter felt a cool, slick finger breach him, he rocked back against it to take it inside, eyes blurring. He closed them to be on the safe side.
Jake added another finger, and Hunter breathed out and relaxed as the burn gave way to pleasure. “I haven’t been with anyone else since you,” Hunter said. “I’m clean.” He held his breath.
Jake didn’t reply at first, but he urged Hunter’s hips forward. He felt Jake’s blunt tip at his hole, almost pushing inside. They’d never fucked bare before, and the intoxicating prospect nearly made him forget everything else.
Hunter bit his lip as Jake hitched his hips underneath, a low groan rumbling out
of his chest. “Me neither.”
“Do it.”
“Oh baby,” Jake whispered.
The insistent slide of Jake’s cock punched all the air out of him. Jake was so warm and hard with nothing between them. Once Hunter had taken Jake’s full length, he leaned forward and met Jake’s mouth as he started to move. Jake’s arms wrapped around him and guided him up and down on his cock slowly, like he didn’t want it to end. It reminded him of the first time they’d made love—maybe a year or so after they’d first fucked. Jake had taken him to a bed and breakfast in the mountains for a few days, explaining he’d gotten a free voucher as a Christmas bonus. Of course, Hunter had known the truth; Jake was just too embarrassed about the romantic gesture to say.
The memory threatened to make the tears he’d been holding back spill over. He didn’t want to feel anything but Jake pounding into him. They switched positions, and the gentle pace grew frantic with a little encouragement. The rhythm made Hunter’s toes curl as Jake slid against that maddening place inside. He was going to come, but knowing that Jake was going to come—inside of him—finally pushed him over the edge. He took himself in hand and stroked as his orgasm crested. Jake followed soon after, planting open-mouthed, moaning kisses onto Hunter’s skin.
Later, Hunter held on with arms and legs, not wanting to let go, even with the slick-sticky mess between them. Their breathing grew quiet in tandem as Jake softened and slipped out, leaving Hunter empty.
“I already miss you,” Jake whispered.
“Me too.” Hunter caught Jake’s lips in another kiss. This time, the last.
Six months later
“YOU KNOW a lot about the old houses around here, don’t you, son?” Bob Nugent asked from across the desk. He was a portly, bald man with a red face from years of too much booze, but in the months Hunter had worked at the paper, he’d come to see Nugent as a fair boss, determined to keep the small paper from going under.
“Yes, Sir,” said Hunter. “My mom bought one and fixed it up herself.”
Taking Flight Page 3