Her resolve only strengthens as she’s pushed back to the table, but I also catch something else, something that has me leaning towards her without even realizing it.
Opening her mouth her tongue darts out, a barbell I didn’t know she has shines as she wets her plush lips.
Such a fucking siren.
“Yes, sir,” she purrs knowing exactly what she’s doing. “Please save my soul.” Her fake innocence mocks me as well as it sucks me in. I need to get control.
Pushing back the sinful lust she’s cursed me with, I grab a bread chip from the bowl.
Show her who is in control. Show her that she has no effect on the true disciples of God. “Open your mouth for me.” Acting as the obedient seductress, she follows the order. I place the bread on her tongue, letting my thumb linger for a moment. Satisfied when I feel the catch in her breath, I release her. “Body of Christ. Bread of heaven,” I whisper as she swallows the food. Grabbing the cup, I hold it to her lips. The temptation to move closer is almost unbearable. “Blood of Christ. Cup of salvation.” Her lids close momentarily as the sweet taste of wine hits her tongue, the pleasure on her face forcing me to grip the table tight.
“Amen,” she all but moans.
Fuck.
I give a single nod to her father. The effects of the drug won’t take long to kick in. Pulling her away from the table, and away from me, she starts to stumble. My heart suddenly heavy in my chest as I take in the scene.
“And so it begins,” Noah says as the three crowd around me. “You will be able to do this, Matthias,” his twin Josiah chimes in. “This is God’s mission for you. You won’t fail us.”
Chapter Four
The sound of running water pulls me from the murky depths of sleep. A metallic taste pools in my mouth; my body and mind refusing to cooperate.
What the hell happened?
Moaning, I try to open my eyes, but they’re too heavy. I use all the strength I can find to roll to my side, the cool sheets beneath my cheeks smelling of mildewed soap. I’m not in my bed.
Fear mixes with confusion and I begin to panic. Letting out a whimper, I try to remember what happened and where I am.
“Don’t be scared.” A voice says from somewhere close. The deep hypnotic tone familiar. “The effects of the drug will wear off soon.”
“What...” I begin, but immediately start coughing. The dryness in my throat refuses to let me catch a breath. Tears seep from my eyes as I again try to open them. Slowly, everything comes into focus, my memory along with it. A large concrete, windowless room surrounds me, the thin mattress I lay on holds no sheets and sits in the center of the cold room. But none of that is what has all the hair on my body standing on end. It’s the man looming before me. “You,” I croak. Gone is the satanic looking church robe, instead in its place he wears pale blue jeans that are ripped and worn in, along with a plain white t-shirt. The simple look doesn’t sit well with me, it’s a bait and hook to draw me in with comfort.
I know better.
“Here, drink this.” he says, ignoring my flinch as he leans down, his large hand moving to hold the back of my head. Lifting me up, he places a glass to my lips and I suck down the warm water greedily. Gasping for air when it’s all gone.
“What did you do to me?” I demand, shoving his hand away the second I can. “Where am I?”
Moving to place the glass on the floor next to the mattress, he stands back to his full height. His calm blue eyes bore into mine, their depths swirling with restraint. “You are at the church; Invictus.” he states, undeterred by the venom in my voice.
"You drugged me?" I ask, meaning for it to come out as a growl, but instead it's barely above a whisper. Glancing down my body, I note in relief that I still wear my clothes from the previous day.
“I did, yes.” No remorse, no emotion. It’s as if he was confirming the weather.
“Why? Where are my parents?”
The door behind him opens, gaining both our attention, the priest and a woman dressed in an all-white gown enter, her head bowed.
“Good, she’s awake.”
Feeling too vulnerable on the mattress, I stand, my legs protesting at the sudden weight.
“Where are my parents?” I demand again doing my best to swallow my panic, knowing that right now it will do me no good. Nothing about this situation is normal. “I want out of here, now.”
Chuckling, the priest moves to stand in front of me, his eyes taking me in from head to toe in evaluation. “You are going nowhere, child.”
The last string of my nerves snaps and my hands ball into fists at my sides. “Listen here, cult leader.” I step up to him. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch his disciple moving in, but the priest holds him off with a shake of his head, his eyes shining with excitement. “I don’t know what bullshit you and my father have come up with, but this is kidnapping and I can promise you now that if you don’t let me the fuck go, I will rip this place apart in a way you’ll never recover from. You have no idea who I am.”
I should have seen his next move coming. My history with abuse should make the anticipation second nature, but between my still fogged up mind, and the unknown of everything going on, I didn’t foresee the backhand until it was too late. With a hard enough force to lay me back flat on the mattress, the monster hovers over me as I roll to my side, a huge smile on his face. “Do you see the room you’re in? What about the door? Did you get a good look at it?” Holding my burning cheek, I glance at the solid concrete door. “What about my people, did you get a good look at them last night? Your father gave you to me to save your tainted black soul. In turn, he’s going to give me the loyalty and funds I need in order to continue this religion that God has blessed me with. Without him, we will fall. So, child, while you may be desperate and determined to leave...” Bending down to the balls of his feet, he looks directly at me, what I see in his dark eyes terrifies me. “I’m even more desperate and more determined for you to stay. You can’t escape, days, weeks... years... you’re trapped here until you submit to our teachings and complete the purge. Only then will you see the light of day again.” Standing to his full height, he adds with a smirk, “Of course, when that time comes, you’ll be another one of my loyal followers and you’ll stay.”
“You son of a—“
“Enough!” the disciple steps forward, placing himself between me and his fake prophet, blazing fire burning in his eyes.
"You heard what Father said. You heard what is expected. Do you want to see your family again? You want to smell the fresh air and feel the warmth of the sun? Then. You. Will. Submit." Turning towards the priest, they talk in hushed tones while my mind absorbs my situation.
Glancing at the door, I find the woman in white standing there her head still bowed. That’s what they want me to become? I think back to all the people at the sermon last night, all the ones in white who didn’t move and hardly blinked. This is what their purge does? What about the ones who weren’t in white? Do they have any idea what becoming a member entails? What about the kids? Bile turns in my stomach as I begin to panic. No. This is not going to happen.
Studying the men again, I really take in the one who drugged me last night. His white t-shirt strains against the muscles in his arms, his lean and fit build matches that of the Father. Showing that exercise is important here. His sandy brown hair is cut short, accentuating his defined jawline. He’s devastatingly handsome. And those clear blue eyes... I remember the way they dilated when I turned the tables on him last night. Regardless of his faith, he’s not immune. Ideas spark in my mind as I really evaluate my situation. I may not be able to take this place down by force, but I might be able to by seduction. All it takes is one weak spot to make the wall crumble.
Pushing to my knees, I get their attention. “I’m willing to try your teachings, but I can’t guarantee it will work.”
Both turn to face me, but it’s the father who steps up running his hand along my cheek. “It will work, child. You have no choice but to give int
o our god.”
My insides clench with the need to lash out, but I swallow it down. “Where do I start?”
“You start right where you’re at. On your knees before your god.” Motioning for the other to step up beside him, I feign innocence as I stare up at him, allowing my tongue to wet my bottom lip; pleased when his nostrils flare. “My first disciples Matthias is going to guide you through the three steps to salvation.”
“How will I know I have completed the steps?” I ask, pulling my gaze away from Matthias to the Priest.
“When you’re allowed to call me by my name, you’ll know you’re free from your sins.”
“And what is your name?”
“You’re not worthy of such information yet.” Matthias answers stepping in close. “Only those who have been through the purge are allowed to speak his name, for their purity could never speak of thy lords name in vain. You would defile it.”
“Thank you, my son.” The priest praises, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You will learn all the rules here at Invictus. This is your first step in becoming one of God’s unconquerable children.”
Chapter Five
It’s been two weeks since I started the first step to salvation. At least I think it has. Being stuck below the church and having no sense of time, I can only go off the meals and sleep I’ve had. Each day has been spent learning the ins and outs of this phony religion, absorbing everything and anything I can so I can use it to destroy the place once I’m free.
Through my teachings I’ve learned that this place is a mix of several religions based on olden times. They take the appealing and likable parts from other faiths and twist it in a way that speaks to you. They put you through three steps that trick the already damaged mind into thinking that if you can reach this goal—the purge—then you’re gifted with the knowledge and purity of god. I can see the appeal to those who are lost and have nothing left in life. This place is brought up from the type of manipulation that lures in the helpless looking for anything to save them. I ache for the people who have fallen for the scheme. To them this place is all they have.
Another thing I’ve learned is that all the disciples here are virgins. How much of a virgin I don’t know, as I’ve seen the way father taunts and touches them. But I know Matthias has never been with a woman before, a fact I discovered the first night after I was made to strip my unholy clothes in front of both him and Father. The innocent curiosity I saw Matthias try to hide confirmed my suspicions. And as fucked up as it is, I’m fully using that to my advantage.
“Is the water warm enough, Harlow?” Clara asks, running the bath water through my hair. Clara is the woman who had been standing with Father the first day and was given to me as an aid. She’s his wife, though willingly I’m not sure. I can tell by her skittishness that she has had one hell of a life under the rule of Father, but she refuses to speak on it.
“Yes, Clara, it’s perfect. Thank you.” Closing my eyes, I allow her to bathe me and try to relax. The task getting a little easier to handle than the first time.
“What do you think about Matthias?” she asks, causing warning bells to go off in my mind. She never speaks about anyone here; she hardly speaks at all unless it pertains to cleaning or dressing me.
“He’s nice.” I reply, testing the waters. “And handsome.”
She chuckles softly then whispers, “He is isn’t he. He got his looks from his father.”
My brows furrow as I compare him to Father. There’s no way... then her sad sigh catches my attention. “Is he your son?” I ask sitting up in the tub to face her.
Clara’s eyes fill with tears, her hands fidgeting with the washcloth. “He was my son. I lost the right to call myself his mom a long time ago.”
“Clara— “
Cut off by the door opening, Matthias fills the doorway, his face void of any emotion as he does his best not to let his eyes wander to what’s hidden under the bubbly bath water. “Get her dressed, Father wants to evaluate her.”
“Yes, sir,” Clara answers and my heart clenches in pain for her. Unable to hold my tongue, a snappy retort nearly bursts out of me, but the soft touch of her hand on my arm stops me, the pleading look in her gaze forcing me to swallow down my anger.
Fine, I’ll get him back in my own way.
Standing to my full height, his will power shatters, those hungry eyes following the bubbles as they fall from my body. The tattoos that they claim disgusts them I know truly intrigues him. I allow him to get his fill before I interrupt and politely apologize. “I’m sorry for keeping you waiting, Matthias. I was just enjoying the warm water.” I note the bulge in his pants and the way he leans further into the room. The weeks of teasing are chipping away at his resolve.
As if coming out of a trance his eyes shoot to mine. Rage and lust war with each other in their depths. “Hurry up,” he growls before storming out.
Smirking to myself, I start to step out of the tub, but am stopped by Clara. “I know what you’re doing.” she rushes out, her voice a harsh whisper. “I was once a free spirit just like you, and I made all the wrong decisions. By the time I knew of my mistakes it was too late. Save my boy, Harlow. Please. I know what you’re planning, I can see the revenge in your eyes, but those boys—his disciples—they’re innocent. They’ve been brainwashed and forced to believe in Father. You can save them. I believe you’ve been sent here to save us all.”
I shake my head in exasperation and sadness. “You’ve been around them a lot longer than me, Clara. They’re lost boys; their hands are covered in blood they themselves put there. There’s nothing to save.”
“You saw the way he looks at you! You see the way he is always watching you,” she argues with a determination I’ve never seen in her before. “He’s curious and confused. You’re making him question things he’s never had to question before. You have no idea what that man has done to them. They’re not lost, they’re trapped. Free them, Harlow. Free them and take down Father.”
DOWN ON MY KNEES DRESSED in a black gown, I keep my head bowed at Father’s feet and recite the prayer I’ve been forced to memorize. I don’t even hear myself talking though, my mind still stuck on what Clara begged me to do. She’s his mom, so of course she has hopes that there’s still good inside of him, but she hasn’t seen him train me the last couple weeks. He truly believes in the bullshit Father is teaching. He would follow him to the depths of hell and that’s exactly where they’re headed. He can’t be saved because he doesn’t want to be saved... but maybe he doesn’t know he needs to be saved.
Fuck.
“She has learned our teachings fast. Do you believe she’s truly changing and accepting our ways? Sinners like her are known for their manipulation.” Father says, bringing me back to the present.
“I believe she’s genuine, Father. She’s been eager to learn and willing to submit. I have no reason to doubt her.” Matthias’s conviction doesn’t fully convince Father. I guess a deceiver can really sniff out another.
“I guess we’ll find out. She’s ready for step two.”
Chapter Six
Trapped in another concrete room, I sit in a lone chair while Matthias circles me. My eyes grow heavy with exhaustion as I stare down at my now grey dress and bare feet. My mind refused to let me sleep last night. All I could think about was Matthias and the other disciples. Are they redeemable or are they far too gone? And if they are, how can I possibly take this place down without bringing them down in the process? I just don’t know.
“Head up.” Matthias barks, making another circle around me. So far step two is my least favorite and we haven’t even started yet.
“Can you at least tell me what we’re doing today?” I bite back my patience as thin as his seems to be.
Stopping in front of me, I take in his church robe he’s decided to put back on and meet his stare. The restraint I’m so used to seeing in his eyes is shattered. And he’s pissed about it.
He wants me and he hates it. What I wasn’t expec
ting was the rush I would feel from seeing that need.
I grit my teeth and shake off what his desire makes me feel and focus only on his anger. I can’t let what Clara said cloud my judgment. I need to get the fuck out of here, and if he falls with the church then so be it. He can’t have my sympathy.
... Right?
“Today you repent. Tell me all your sins.”
Taking a deep breath, I do my best to control all the confusing emotions running through me, but it’s becoming harder and harder. This place has become a disease that’s spreading through me. I need to see the sun; I need to breathe the fresh air... I need to get the hell out of this place. “Where should I start?” I ask, holding his stare
His reply comes out gruff, the tension in the air is thick with both of our rage and confusion. “From the beginning.”
“I got my first tattoo when I was fifteen. My first piercing at sixteen. I’ve lied many, many times. I’ve drank and done drugs. I’ve cussed and fought... I’ve fucked.”
His pupils flare and he falls to his knees at my feet now directly on level with me. Gripping the armrests so tight his knuckles turn white, he fumes. "Such a tainted siren. A temptress with your foul language."
Angry, exhausted tears threaten to spill. “Fuck. You.” I spit out at him.
Lashing out, he grips my chin and pulls me forward. With our lips only inches apart I can feel the warmth from his breath as he spews his venom. “Stop tempting me, witch.”
Fuck them all. “My father would say I’ve been sinning since I was ten. He would say that I tempted him to follow me into my room.” Confusion has his brows clashing together. “He would tell you that almost every night since the first time, I was at fault for unknowingly luring him into my room so he could do unthinkable things to me.”
Releasing me like I’m on fire he asks, “He made you impure?”
“No.” I respond, not willing to back down even as the tears fall. “He took me in other ways so I could stay innocent. I made the choice to give my virginity away before that too was stolen from me.”
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