“Yes, you do, and much more,” she agreed. “But I wasn’t demanding blood.”
“Very well.” He turned to Vladimir. “In future, if her wishes differ from mine, don’t argue with her. Simply bring the matter to me.”
“And what does that solve?” Katherine demanded. “Instead of him forcing me to do something I don’t want to do, you will.”
“Not necessarily.” The sternness of Dimitri’s expression lightened at last. “Vladimir follows my orders to the letter, even when met with difficulty, as you have discovered. On the other hand, I can listen to your arguments and rescind my orders, if need be. I am not an unreasonable man.”
“Aren’t you? I’m afraid I haven’t seen anything to indicate otherwise.”
He smiled. “This is all premature, you know. You were invited to join me for dinner so that we could discuss your status among us and come to an arrangement agreeable to us both. There will be no need for any more battles, Katya.”
Katherine wished she could believe that. But the fact was that she had guessed the reason for this dinner invitation and had refused it because she was afraid to have her situation spelled out in clear-cut terms. She would rather wonder than have her worst fears confirmed.
But now that she was here and there could be no more avoiding it, she might as well have done with it. “So,” Katherine said with forced evenness, “am I a prisoner or a reluctant guest?”
Her directness was refreshing, but it didn’t suit Dimitri’s plans for the evening. “Sit down, Katya. We will eat first and—”
“Alexandrov—” she began warningly, only to be cut off with a disarming smile.
“I insist. Champagne?”
Observing the slight gesture of his hand, both servants left the room. Dimitri moved to the champagne bucket himself. Katherine watched him with a feeling of unreality. Did he say he was a reasonable man? What a laugh. He wasn’t even waiting for her answer but was filling the two crystal glasses on the small dining table.
Very well, she would play it his way, for now. After all, she had had nothing to eat all day and only one meal yesterday. And she was no hypocrite when it came to food, as so many ladies of her class were, only nibbling at dinners in company because too-tight corsets made it impossible to do otherwise. She didn’t wear her corsets to the point of discomfort. With such a tiny waist she didn’t have to. And she enjoyed good food. The trouble was that she didn’t think she would enjoy this meal no matter how good the food, not with such a distracting dinner companion, and not with her immediate future so in question.
Stay on your toes, Katherine. He thinks to wine and dine you and perhaps get you drunk so you’ll agree to anything. Just keep your wits about you, don’t look at him too much, and you’ll do fine.
She picked the chair farthest away from where he was standing and slid into it. A thick plush velvet seat and back. Comfortable. Exquisite lacy tablecloth. Soft candlelight. There were other lamps on in the room, but far enough away not to detract from this intimate setting. It was a large room. Luxurious. How could she have missed all of this before? The enormous white fur rug. One whole wall of books. The bed. Don’t stare at it, Katherine! A lovely sofa and matching chair in white brocaded satin and dark cherrywood and the big chair she had sat in earlier were grouped around an ornate stand-up stove. An antique desk. More cherrywood in tables and cabinets. More fur rugs. The room really was big. Perhaps it had once been two or more cabins. It was his ship; perhaps he had designed it this way.
He sat down across from her. Thank God for the three-foot width of table. She looked anywhere but at him, but knew he was watching her.
“Try the champagne, Katya.”
She reached automatically for the glass, but caught herself and drew her hand back. “I would rather not.”
“You prefer something else?”
“No, I—”
“You think it’s drugged?”
She looked at him then, eyes flaring. She hadn’t thought of that at all, but she should have. Stupid! She was supposed to keep one step ahead of him.
She shot to her feet, but Dimitri reached over quickly and caught her wrist, proving the table wasn’t a safe enough width after all.
“Sit down, Katherine.” His voice was firm, an order. “If it will make you feel better, I will be your food taster for the evening.” She didn’t budge, but he let go. “You have to eat sometime. Will you worry about the food for the whole voyage, or will you trust me that you won’t be drugged again?”
She sat down stiffly. “I didn’t think you would, but Kirov thinks for himself and—”
“And he was duly chastised for the first time. I tell you it won’t happen again. Trust me,” he added more softly.
She wished she hadn’t been looking at him all this time. Now she couldn’t tear her eyes away. His white silk shirt was opened at the neck, giving him a rakish look despite the elegance of his black evening coat. The shoulders were so wide, the arms powerful. He really was big, this fairy-tale prince, so utterly masculine in size, in looks.
No matter how Katherine tried to get around it, she was attracted. And without her anger to protect her, she had no defense against such potent attraction.
Lida saved Katherine from making a fool of herself with her staring by arriving with the first course. From then on Katherine concentrated on her food with a vengeance, only vaguely aware that Dimitri was talking to her as they ate, telling her a little about Russia, anecdotes about court life there, about someone named Vasili who was apparently a close friend. She supposed she made appropriate comments when necessary, since he didn’t stop talking. And she knew he was trying to put her at ease. It was nice of him to try. But she would never, ever be at ease in his presence. It just wasn’t possible.
“You haven’t really been listening, have you, Katya?”
He had spoken louder to gain her attention. She glanced up, blushing slightly. Annoyance seemed to war with amusement in his expression. She imagined he wasn’t accustomed to anyone ignoring him.
“I’m sorry, I—I—” She cast about for an excuse. Only one came readily to mind. “I was famished.”
“And preoccupied?”
“Yes, well, under the circumstances…”
He threw down his napkin and refilled his glass. He had consumed nearly all of the champagne by himself. Her first glass was still untouched.
“Shall we adjourn to the sofa?”
“I—would rather not.”
His fingers tightened on his glass. Fortunately Katherine didn’t notice. “Then by all means let us dispense now with what concerns you so you can enjoy the rest of the evening.”
Too late she became aware of his irritation. And what the devil did he mean by that? She had no intention of remaining in this cabin any longer than necessary. If she was to enjoy the rest of the evening, she would have to be alone, but she doubted that was what he had in mind. But first things first.
“Perhaps you will answer my earlier question now. I feel like a prisoner, and yet you invite me here tonight as if I were only a guest. Which is it to be?”
“Neither, I think, at least not in the strictest sense. There is no reason for you to be confined during the length of the voyage. You can’t escape at sea, after all. Yet idleness breeds unrest and is also a bad example for my servants. You will need to do something to occupy your time while you are with us.”
Katherine clasped her hands in her lap. He was right, of course, and this was more than she could have hoped for. She couldn’t remember the last time her life hadn’t been filled to the brim with activity of one kind or another. There was his library, but much as she loved to read, she couldn’t see herself doing nothing but that day after day. She needed stimulation for her mind, to be planning, arranging, doing something useful or challenging. If he had something to suggest, she would be grateful, especially since what she had feared was that she would be confined to a cabin the whole voyage.
“What did you have in mind?” Her
eagerness was unmistakable.
Dimitri stared at her for a moment in surprise. He had expected her to balk immediately at the idea of working. He had planned then to offer her the position of being his mistress, so she could continue playing this role of Lady to her heart’s content. Perhaps she had misunderstood. Yes. After all, he had never met a woman yet who would not prefer a pampered, idle existence to one of menial service.
“The possibilities are limited aboard ship, you understand?”
“Yes, I realize that.”
“In fact, there are only two positions available for you to consider. Which one you select is up to you, but you must choose one or the other.”
“You have made your point, Alexandrov,” Katherine said impatiently. “Do get on with it.”
Had he thought her directness refreshing? More fool he.
“Do you recall meeting Anastasia here earlier?” he asked tightly.
“Yes, of course. Your wife?”
“You assume I am married?”
“I don’t assume anything. It was mere curiosity.”
Dimitri frowned. He wished she would be more than merely curious about him. Her question had reminded him of Tatiana, and he made a mental note never to take that one traveling with him. If this evening had been difficult, with him having to carry the conversation, evenings with Tatiana would be much worse since she dominated a conversation by talking about nothing but herself. But there was one great difference in his preference of companion. Tatiana didn’t excite him. Little Katherine did. Even her annoying frankness didn’t change that. Nor her haughty indifference. And especially her unpredictable temper.
She didn’t have the kind of superficial beauty that made men worship at Tatiana’s feet, but Katherine was fascinating nonetheless. Her unusual eyes, which he could only think of now as sexy, the sensual lips, her hard, stubborn chin. There was character in every line of her face. And since she had been carried into the room, he had been unable to take his eyes off her.
The new dress was a definite improvement. A blue patterned organdy with tight sleeves and scooped neckline that curved to the edge of her shoulders. Those were creamy white, as was her lovely neck. Sweet Christ, he wanted to taste her! But here she was as standoffish as she had been that morning. There was no provocative entreaty now, unlike last night. And yet he couldn’t stop remembering.
He wanted her in his bed. He didn’t care at the moment how he accomplished it, as long as he didn’t have to force her physically. The plan he had come up with was perfect in that it would make succumbing to him easy for her to accept. As long as she didn’t desert the role she was playing, it would work. If he was annoyed with her current abruptness, it was because he had hoped to win her by seduction instead, but that door had been closed to him all evening.
“Princess Anastasia is my sister,” Dimitri told Katherine now.
She didn’t even blink, though that little fact made her feel—what? Relief? How absurd. It was nothing more than surprise. She had thought mistress first, wife second, sister not at all.
“So?”
“If you recall meeting her, then you’ll recall also that she finds herself in supposedly dire need of a new lady’s maid, at least until we reach Russia.”
“Come to the point.”
“I just have.”
She stared at him, not a muscle moving in her face to indicate shock, surprise, anger. He stared at her, eyes studying, intense, waiting.
Easy, Katherine. Don’t fly off the handle yet. He’s up to something. He must know how you would react to such a suggestion, and yet he made it anyway. Why?
“You mentioned two choices, Alexandrov. Is the second as ingenious?”
Much as she had hoped to sound unaffected, sarcasm had crept into her tone. Dimitri detected it, delighted in it, and relaxed considerably. He felt suddenly like the hunter closing in for an assured kill. She would refuse the first suggestion, and that left only the second.
He stood up. Katherine tensed. He rounded the table, stopping at her side. She didn’t look up, not even when his hands closed on her upper arms and gently lifted her to her feet. Breathing became impossible as her throat closed off in panic. His arm came around her. The other hand raised her chin. She kept her eyes lowered.
“I want you.”
Oh, God, God, God! You didn’t hear that, Katherine. He didn’t say that.
“Look at me, Katya.” His voice was mesmerizing, his breath caressing her lips. “We are not strangers. You already know me intimately. Say you will share my bed, my cabin, and I will treat you like a queen. I will love you so thoroughly you will not notice the passing weeks. Look at me!”
She closed her eyes tighter. His passion was devastating her senses. In another moment he would kiss her and she would die.
“Will you at least answer me? We both know you found pleasure in my arms. Let me be your lover again, little one.”
This isn’t happening, Katherine. It’s just a fantasy, more real than others, but fantasy nonetheless. So what harm in playing along with it? If you don’t do something fast, you’re lost anyway.
“What if there is a child?”
That was not what Dimitri was waiting to hear, but he was not displeased by the question. So she was cautious. She could be as cautious as she liked, as long as she said yes in the end. But he had never been asked about children before. In Russia, it was taken for granted that the father would provide for his bastards. It was not something that he thought about, as careful as he always was about not fathering any unwanted offspring. Unlike his father and brother, he wanted no child of his labeled bastard. And yet he hadn’t been careful last night. He would not so forget himself again, but that was neither here nor there. She wanted the truth.
“If there is a child, he will lack for nothing. I will support you both for the rest of your life. Or if you prefer, I will take the child and raise him myself. It would be your choice, Katya.”
“That’s very generous, I suppose, but I wonder why you don’t mention marriage. But then you never got around to answering if you were married or not, did you?”
“What has that to do with it?”
The sudden sharpness in his voice broke the fantasy. “You forget who I am.”
“Yes, I forget who you say you are. A lady would expect marriage, wouldn’t she? But that, my dear, I must decline. Now give me your answer.”
The dam on her temper broke and a full flood was released by these latest insults. “No and no and no and no!” She shoved away from him and flew around the table until she could look back with that safe barrier between them. “No to everything! My God, I knew you were up to something with that first suggestion of yours, but I didn’t think you were this contemptible. And to think I believed you were sincere in offering an ‘acceptable arrangement.’”
Frustration cut a keen edge through Dimitri’s own temper. His body throbbed in need while she indulged in another tantrum. Damn her, and damn this charade of hers.
“You have been given your options, Katherine. Choose one, I don’t care which.” And he didn’t at the moment. If he never laid eyes on her again, it would be too soon. “Well?”
Katherine straightened to her full height, her fingers gripping the edge of the table. She was calm again, but the calm was deceptive. Her eyes gave the lie to it.
“You are detestable, Alexandrov. Be your sister’s maid, when I run not one household but two; when for the past several years I have been my father’s estate manager as well as his business advisor? I help to write his speeches, entertain his political cronies, monitor his investments. I am well versed in philosophy, politics, mathematics, animal husbandry, and I’m proficient in five languages.” She paused, deciding to gamble. “But if your sister is even half as well educated, I will agree to your absurd proposal.”
“Russia doesn’t believe in turning its women into bluestockings, as the English apparently do,” he sneered. “But then very little of what you claim can be proved, can it?
”
“I don’t have to prove anything. I know who I am. Consider well what you’re putting me through, Alexandrov. The day is going to come when you’ll find I’m telling the truth. You ignore the consequences now, but you won’t be able to then. You have my word on it.”
His fist slammed down on the table, making her jump back from it. Candlelight flickered. His empty glass fell over. Hers, still full, sloshed champagne onto the lovely tablecloth, staining it.
“That for your truth, your consequences, and your word! It is here and now that you had best be concerned with. Make your choice, or I will make it for you.”
“You would force me to your bed?”
“No, but I will not see a waste of your talents when you can be useful. My sister needs you. You will serve her.”
“And if I don’t, do you have me flogged?”
“There is no need for such dramatic measures. A few days’ confinement, and you will be happy to serve.”
“Don’t count on it, Alexandrov. I was prepared for that.”
“On bread and water?” he tested her.
She stiffened, but her answer was automatic and a measure of her contempt. “If it pleases you.”
Sweet Christ, she had an answer for everything. But stubbornness and bravado would go only so far. His patience was gone, his plans come to naught. Anger decided him.
“So be it. Vladimir!” The door opened almost instantly. “Take her away.”
Chapter Fourteen
Her cabin had been rearranged while she spent the evening with Dimitri. The many trunks were still there, but they had been moved back against the walls out of the way. A washstand had been brought in, a rug found, and a hammock strung up between two beams. Her wardrobe was a trunk, her chair was a trunk, her table was a trunk. A very uncomfortable cell indeed.
If Katherine didn’t yet despise her prison, she did come to hate that hammock in the following days. Her first encounter with it had been a disaster. Four times she had landed on the floor before she gave up and slept where she had been dumped. But aching muscles made her tackle the monster again the second night. She conquered it after only two spills this time and was able to relax enough to fall asleep to the gentle swaying, only to fall out in the middle of the night while sound asleep. Black and blue with bruises, she was angry enough to keep trying, and by the fourth night she had succeeded in staying in the damn thing until morning.
Secret Fire Page 12