For a few long minutes after, my ears rang and I had to force my limbs to move. Eventually though, it was time to get up.
“I have to pick up something for Ashton this morning, but I’ll be back in about an hour to get you,” I said as I pulled on my pants.
The truth was that I had to shower and get Dottie from my place, but since I hadn’t told her who I was, I couldn’t exactly tell her I had a house here. While I was very well aware of the fact that I was only digging my own hole deeper and deeper, I couldn’t seem to stop doing it.
The hole was probably already deep enough that if I came clean now, she’d feel like I’d been lying to her. Which I both had and hadn’t. Nothing I’d said had been an outright lie, but I doubted she’d see it that way.
I should’ve just corrected Hailey the first time when she’d assumed Ashton was the owner of the farm, and that would’ve been that. But I hadn’t done it, and since I didn’t know if Keira would have given me a chance if I had, I didn’t really regret it either.
Of course, I would have to tell her the truth sometime. Hopefully, once she knew me better and knew that I wasn’t as vile as she seemed to believe all well-off people were, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Except for the fact that she might still kick me to the curb for not coming clean earlier.
In a way, I’d backed myself into a corner and all I was doing now was making it worse. I just wasn’t ready to place whatever this relationship was I had with her in jeopardy, though.
Keira was still sitting in bed, smiling as she watched me get dressed. “Perfect. I’ll be ready in an hour. Do you want to stop for breakfast on the way?”
“We can grab something to go,” I said. “If we want to make it worthwhile to go out there for the day, it’s better to get on the road as early as we can.”
“True.” She stood up, and I was distracted by her curves as she pulled on a robe from a hook next to her dresser. “Are you sure I can’t even make you some coffee before you leave?”
“Nah, that’s okay.” I put on my shoes and slid my phone and wallet into my pocket.
When I was satisfied that I had everything, I strode over to her and gave her a firm kiss on the mouth, my gaze locked on that deep brown one of hers when we broke apart. “I’ll be back soon.”
She slid her hand loosely into mine, then walked me to the door. After saying goodbye, I headed to my place for a shower and to pick up Dottie.
The black lab was lying in her spot in the sun when I opened the door, her head lifting to see who it was before she rested it back down on her paws. I chuckled and shed my clothes on my way to the kitchen, loading them straight into the washer.
“It doesn’t seem like you missed me too much last night,” I said, glancing over at her bowls standing near the window. “Okay. Since you’ve still got food and water, that means I can go have my shower. We’re leaving right after. We’re going out to the farm with Keira today.”
I rolled my eyes at myself when the dog didn’t respond. Once I was showered and shaved, I put on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with my boots, then grabbed Dottie’s leash when I got back downstairs.
“Okay, girl.” I clapped my hand and lifted the leash to show it to her. “Let’s go. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”
She rose slowly, nails clicking on the hardwood floors as she trotted over to me. I clipped on the leash, led her outside, locked the door behind us, and headed to my truck. When she was loaded in, I glanced at her in the rearview mirror while waiting for a gap in the traffic.
“We’re going to pick up Keira now. Do me a favor and don’t tell her the truth, okay? She doesn’t know we have a house here. I know I should tell her, but I’m not ready yet.” Her soulful eyes stared into mine. “Yeah. Yeah. I know. Don’t judge me.”
She tilted her head and let out a breath that sounded disapproving—although it might very well have been my guilt making me think that—and lay down on the back seat. We made it to Keira’s right on time, and she came out of her building just as we pulled up.
I quickly got out of my truck to open the passenger door for Keira. Dottie peeked up when the door opened, letting out a soft bark and wagging her tail when she saw who it was. There wasn’t a single other person she’d met that she responded to this way. It was uncanny really.
“Hi, girl,” Keira cooed when she spotted her as she climbed in. “Where did you come from?”
She twisted around in her seat to rub Dottie’s neck while I shut her door and walked around the car. I dropped into the driver’s seat, trying not to pay too much attention to the love affair playing out beside me.
“It’s so good to see you. How have you been?” she was saying as Dottie rolled over onto her back for Keira to rub her tummy next. “You might think I’m weird for saying this, but I missed you. I really did. Did you miss me too?”
From the wagging tail and smiling face, it was a definite yes on that one. Keira finally turned around again to buckle up just as I was about to ease into the traffic.
“I didn’t know you’d brought her with you. Where was she all night?” She looked me over, taking in my damp hair and changed clothes. “Did you shower? I kind of thought you’d just shower when we get there.”
“Dottie stayed in a kennel last night. I don’t like leaving her on the farm alone.” That part, at least, was completely true. “I didn’t want to be presumptuous, so I got myself a room to sleep in just in case.”
Fuck. Now that one was an outright lie, and it was a slippery slope from here. I didn’t make a habit of lying. Generally speaking, I didn’t often see a reason to lie about anything. If someone didn’t like something I did or said, that was their problem.
With Keira, however, it was different. Fuck.
Sitting back and facing forward, she glanced at me and smiled. “It’s sweet that you didn’t want to be presumptuous, but I’m sorry you wasted money on a room you ended up not using.”
My grip tightened on the steering wheel and guilt so intense it made my stomach clench slammed into me. Not only was she giving me that soft, trusting smile, but she also looked genuinely concerned over me having wasted money.
Breathing through the urge to just blurt out the truth right here and now, I vowed to tell her as soon as the wedding was over. In the end, I’d offered to take her because it wasn’t necessary for her to get shit from her mother about not having a date when she could have one. And one who didn’t mind pretending to be her fiancé, at that.
Holding off on telling her might not have been honest or noble—I wouldn’t lie to myself and pretend it was—but I was helping her. Hopefully, she would also see it that way once she found out the truth.
It would be better to just tell her now. It had only been a week since we’d met. If I told her I’d simply gone along with Hailey’s assumption because it hadn’t seemed to matter much at the time and that I’d been waiting for the right time to tell her the truth, there was a chance she would understand.
Unfortunately, there was also a chance that she wouldn’t.
If anything, it could reaffirm her belief that all rich people were dicks and I would never hear from her again. In which case, she went to the wedding by herself and I lost the only person I’d felt a real connection with in a very long time.
I wasn’t a gambling man. My appetite for risk was large in some instances, but this wasn’t one of them.
Keira sighed happily when we left the city limits. “I already feel like I’m breathing easier. I might just be developing an unnatural attraction to being outside of the city.”
“Nothing unnatural about it.” I chuckled. “That concrete jungle has felt suffocating to me for years. There’s a reason why so many people get out as often as they can. Even if it is just to go hiking or whatever.”
“Fair enough. I just never would’ve thought I’d be one of those people. How did you figure it out?”
“I’ve always been a fan of being outdoors,” I said. “One day, after a particularly shit day
, I got in my car and just drove. I ended up out here, stopped to grab a coffee in Red Hook, looked around, and thought about how great it would be to live on a farm near a village like that. I guess one thing led to another, and here I am.”
All of which was true. It felt good to know that not everything I said would have to be a lie until I could tell her the truth.
Dottie’s head nudged my arm, and I glanced down to find her trying to get to Keira’s arm. I laughed and shook my head. “I still can’t believe she’s like this with you. I’ve never really seen her like this with anyone, not even me most days.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual,” she said, hooking her arm back to be able to stroke Dottie. “Do you think you’ll live out here for the rest of your life? Or do you think you’ll move on again eventually?”
I shrugged. “Time will tell, but I’m happy when I’m here. I’d like to do some traveling and see more of the world, but at the end of a vacation, I’m always going to want to come home.”
“I hear what you’re saying.” A smile spread on her face when we drove onto the farm. She rolled her window down and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly before rolling her head to the side to look at me. “Coming home to here would definitely be better than to the city. Being here is better than being in the city to me, and it’s not even my home.”
“What do you think? Would you ever consider moving out here?” I asked as the car rolled to a stop.
She glanced at me, arching a brow and flashing a coy smile just before opening her door. “I might be convinced to. Like you said, time will tell. For now, it’s enough to just be here.”
Hopping out of the cab, she pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes and planted her hands on her hips. “Are you coming? Some of us only have the day here. I don’t want to waste a minute.”
Neither did I. The clock was ticking toward the moment when I would tell her everything, and from now until then, I needed to make the best of all the time I got to spend with her. Because in all likelihood, it would be over very soon.
20
KEIRA
The prospect of having an entire day alone on the farm with Harrison was my idea of the perfect day at this point in time. He looked like a cowboy-themed wet dream in his tight jeans and T-shirt, with his dark hair gleaming like it had diamonds in it in the sunshine.
His hazel eyes were soft and relaxed, but there was something in them that also seemed slightly guarded—worried almost. On the other hand, neither of us had had much sleep. It was possible he was just tired.
“What would you like to do?” he asked. “If you feel like it, we can go make some sandwiches and go for a ride. There are some nice picnic spots I haven’t shown you yet.”
“Lead the way,” I said. “That sounds amazing.”
He swept a hand in the direction of his house. It was much smaller than the main house where Hailey and I had stayed, and it hadn’t been built in the same style either. Whereas the main house had old-world, almost colonial majesty to it, his was more rustic. I loved it as well, though. Even if it wasn’t fancy and huge.
The door was unlocked when we got to it, and he pushed it open before motioning for me to precede him. All the windows were closed, but he didn’t go to open them. Both of us headed directly to the kitchen, where he pulled ingredients out of his fridge and I went to work buttering the bread.
In addition to our sandwiches, we added some bags of chips, bottles of water, and a few snacks to the backpack serving as our picnic basket. While we got our brunch ready, we talked about random things and discovered that we both loved documentaries and action movies but hated art films and metal music.
“What about art galleries?” I asked as he zipped up the backpack. “Do you like visiting those?”
He shook his head. “Not really. Maybe that makes me uncultured, but I just don’t enjoy walking around looking at paintings and sculptures that are supposed to have deeper meaning. I’m a simple guy. I see things as they are. A splash of paint is a splash of paint to me. There’s no point in trying to interpret it any differently.”
“Yeah, I’m the same,” I said. “There are a lot of things in the world that are open to interpretation, but splashes of paint just aren’t among them to me.”
He grinned. “I knew there was a reason why I liked you.”
When he reached out to grab me and slung his arm over my shoulders, I didn’t fight it. I slotted into his side like I was meant to be there and I enjoyed being there, so I wound my arm around his waist and stayed just like that until we reached the paddock where the horses were grazing.
Harrison grabbed their halters before holding a red one up to me. “Do you want to come in with me to get Molly?”
I eyed the wooden fencing around the patch of field. “Isn’t it better if I stay out here? I still don’t really know that much about horses. It seems like it could be a bad idea going in there with them when I don’t have a clue what to do.”
“I’ll be right with you,” he said calmly. “Just don’t walk right behind any of them and you should be fine.”
Should be? “That doesn’t sound terribly comforting, but sure. Okay. When else am I going to get the opportunity to do this?”
“Well, whenever you come out here,” he said. “If you’d rather not do it right now, it’s fine. We can always work up to it.”
I watched Molly lift her head from the grass, her tail flicking as she moved to the next spot. She looked so at peace out there that I almost felt bad going in to bother her, but she also didn’t look too scary.
None of the horses did. They looked so serene, all of them grazing on the greenish grass. It was almost like a picture. “No, I’m good. Like you said, it should be fine.”
He chuckled when I held my hand out for the halter. “You can tell me at any time if you’d rather come back out. I can get them both without any problems.”
I rolled my shoulders back and headed for the fence. “I’m sure you can, cowboy, but I’ve got this.”
“I know you do,” he said when he watched me swing my leg over the top of the fence post. “Looks like we’re doing this then.”
As promised, he stayed right next to me from the minute our feet hit the other side of the fence. Grass and dirt crunched beneath our boots, but apart from a few bird calls, there were no other sounds. The sky was blue and dotted with puffy white clouds, the air scented with that unique perfume I’d noticed last weekend.
We went to get Molly first. She looked up at us when she heard us coming and flicked her tail again, but she didn’t seem annoyed to see the halter.
“You remember where it clips in?” Harrison asked when we’d almost reached her.
I nodded. “Is there any secret about how to approach her?”
“Just make sure she sees you coming,” he said. “A surprised horse is an unpredictable horse. Be calm, no sudden movements. You can slide an arm around the other side of her neck and just clip it into place. She’s a good girl. You won’t have any problems with her.”
I followed his instructions, moving slowly and calmly toward her. Just as he’d said, she didn’t bolt or try to nip or kick me. She even leaned into me a little when I snapped the halter into place and then followed lazily after me.
“I did it,” I said, keeping my voice quiet and calm despite the squeal rising deep within me. “I got her.”
Harrison put his hands together in a silent clapping motion. “Well done. Let’s go get Nairobi. Just hang back with Molly. He’s not so gentle, but he won’t cause any trouble either.”
“I think Molly and I will hang all the way back right here,” I said. Where it’s safe.
Watching as he trekked across the field to where Nairobi was grazing, I saw the moment the horse realized he was coming toward it with a halter in hand. He tossed his head into the air and took a few steps back, tugging at the lead once Harrison had clipped it into place.
He also refused to move for a minute, but eventually, he gave an annoye
d huff and followed his owner over to us. Harrison grinned at me when they were close enough, dipping his head toward the gate.
“See. That wasn’t scary at all, was it?”
I shrugged. “Not really. I did have a mental image of Nairobi rearing up when he was tossing his head like that, though. That would’ve been something.”
He laughed. “He used to do it all the time, but I think he’s learned that he won’t win and that we’re not scared of him. Now he just tries to let us know he’s not happy with us, but then he always comes easily enough.”
We headed back to the barn, where we got the horses ready to ride and then took off for our picnic. Harrison chose another different trail this time and we went back to chatting about random things for a while before silence fell between us. It really was beautiful out here, but I could imagine that it also got quite lonely at times.
“Do you have family at all left around here?” I asked. “I know your parents are in Maine, but do you ever get visitors out here?”
“Not really,” he said. “None of my family are left here and my father has always been pretty stoic, so they never had a ton of friends that I was close to either. Since I take after him, I didn’t keep in touch with many of my friends from school and I prefer people mostly at a distance.”
“Doesn’t the quiet get a bit much at times, though?” I asked. “I know you have Ashton, but it seems like it could get pretty lonely all the way out here with only him for company.”
“I’ve never even really thought about it,” he said. “Do you think it would bother you?”
I pursed my lips and moved them from one side to the other while I thought. Then I shrugged. “I’m not sure if it would. I’m not usually the life of the party or a social butterfly, but I would miss having my best friend close enough to grab a coffee with whenever we can.”
For the last few minutes until we got to the picnic spot, we weighed up the pros and cons of living farther away from people. The trees opened up ahead, giving way to a shady area next to a stream, and I fell silent as I took it in.
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