Only the other day, Julie had given him a stern lecture on his sex life. She had never ever approached that subject but she felt obliged to protect the tiny innocent lamb’s heart from the big bad wolf. Huh, if only Julie saw them together she would immediately know who was seducing who. It was as if the cute little lamb was dancing the jig right in front of the wolf’s mouth and the poor famished beast had to smile and control his overwhelming hunger. He had laughed and assured Julie that the only heart that was likely to be broken was his because he definitely knew what he wanted, whereas she was only using him as her rebound, that perfect dazzling object that could help her mend her already broken heart.
Josh sighed. Only the image of her walking down the church aisle heavily pregnant stopped him from devouring the lamb that morning. Instead he bent down and softly kissed her lips. “Wake up sleepyhead, let’s go and watch sunrise on the beach. It’s going to be a glorious sunny day today.”
She groaned and reluctantly pushed the sheets off her body. She self-consciously patted down her wild curls. She didn’t like him to see her in her early morning state especially when he had obviously just showered and shaved and looked so immaculate and perfect. “I’ve got to get changed,” she said as she pushed him out of her room.
“You can put on the blue bikini I like so much and I’ll meet you by the pool.”
The day passed way too quickly for their liking. Josh hardly thought about that morning’s disturbing dream. It just faded in his subconscious as they basked under the hot sun. The words love, marriage and commitment which had not been present in his dictionary the previous week, seemed to occupy every corner of his mind and were now woven into his very soul. Their many differences that he had identified on their first day together had paled out next to the things they had in common. They fitted together, like two complementary pieces of a picture, and neither would be whole without the other, both physically and mentally. Josh could easily see that, even though Maria did not.
It was past five in the evening by the time they returned back to the villa. Josh took her hand and led her inside the living room. He beamed at her as he fastened a delicately jewelled bracelet around her wrist. “Please promise to keep this on until I come for you in two weeks’ time. I bought that myself, Rita did not have anything to do with it, so don’t despair, I can do some shopping for myself.” He wanted to give her a bracelet rather than a ring which might remind her too much of her cancelled wedding plans.
“Wow, that looks really expensive. I can’t accept it. I don’t need a bracelet to remind me of you. I wish that you could just stop showering me with gifts...”
He bent down and silenced her with a long kiss, “Just promise me,” he whispered. She nodded. He smiled, he knew that he would have her like putty in his hands; one kiss was all it took. The physical attraction was definitely there.
“I’m going to take you somewhere special tonight, so put on something nice to go with that bracelet.” He slowly pushed her down flat on the sofa. Time just stood still as they lost themselves in their own private world.
The doorbell rang. Josh tried to ignore it, but after ten minutes of persistent ringing he finally sat up. “Don’t move from there,” he told her with a cheeky smile. “I’ll get rid of whoever is out there. I promise.” He opened the door and his smile vanished.
“Come on Josh, I knew that you were in. Your car is finally parked in the driveway. Where have you been? You’ve missed quite a few golden opportunities.” Freddie stormed into the room, flanked by two exceedingly beautiful, elegantly dressed women. He looked disapprovingly at his cousin’s swimming shorts and untidy hair. “Go and change, we’re massively late for the opening of your premier.”
“I phoned and left a message telling you that I’m not going.”
“And that is why I came here, to drag you along with us. Don’t be ridiculous Josh, you can’t miss your own party!” It was then that Freddie saw Maria sitting on the sofa, her wild curls tumbling down her flushed face as she hurriedly fastened the clasp of her blue bikini. She quickly brought her long hair forward, covering the red marks on her neck which seemed to go right down to her tempting voluptuous assets. But the movement was not quick enough to hide anything from Freddie’s sharp eyes. He pursed his lips; it was obvious what the two had been up to. No girl had ever chosen the moody bitter Josh over him and he didn’t like being outmanoeuvred by his usually boring cousin who had always been happy to take the back seat when he was around. He had to do something about this. It should be easy enough, Josh never fought hard for any girl and he was always satisfied with his cousin’s handouts as long as they had a decent female form. Tonight he’ll give him exclusive rights to the two stunning actresses he had brought along and he himself will enjoy this exquisite doll.
“Oh I see, so you’ve been here all along. I called the hotel you said you were staying in and the kind receptionist said that a Maria Conti never checked in. And you never showed up to have your sutures removed either. I waited and waited. Did you know that you broke my heart?” Freddie gave her one of his stunning breathtaking smiles. He confidently crossed the room, sat too close to her and leaned over as he gently lifted a lock of hair away from her face to inspect the scar.
Josh clenched his jaw. He had seen the greed in his cousin’s eyes. Suddenly his surroundings started to spin around him and his vision was immediately taken to a hospital room...
Maria was sitting back on her pillows, looking brittle, pale and exhausted, and Freddie was sitting on the side of her hospital bed. He was gently reassuring her as he took some blood samples. Maria was looking at him, trusting him with her life. There was this unspoken doctor-patient bond between them. But Josh could see something more in Freddie’s deep blue eyes as he took his patient’s fragile hand and felt her pulse; he too seemed to have been bewitched by her mysterious appeal and charm.
However Maria’s eyes kept drifting back to Josh who was standing at the foot of her bed, silently observing every move. She caught his eye and smiled with great affection....
He returned to the living room. Freddie was still inches away from Maria, playing with her lock of hair as he intimately fingered her scar. Josh felt a sharp pang of jealousy as a wave of insecurity washed over him. If Maria was physically attracted to him, there was no reason why she shouldn’t also be to his cousin. After all, Freddie possessed the same chiselled features and same flawless, sculptured physique with the added bonuses of startling bright blue eyes and gorgeous fair hair, the two things her ex-fiancée also had....to say nothing about their common medical interests.
Josh casually slumped down on the sofa beside her. “Yes, Maria stayed here and we have been very busy hiking all over the States for two whole weeks. Today is her last day and I’m not going to sacrifice that for some stuffy premier. So you had better march off because you’ll be late for the grand show.”
“Maria can join us. She will be happy to meet all your fans and witness your superior acting skills...Unless, of course, you don’t want her to watch your movie. On the other hand I can see your point; it does contain some very embarrassing scenes with Tanya here. ” He nodded towards the stunning blonde standing by the door.
Josh looked coldly at his cousin. It seemed as though he had not changed one bit over the years. As a child Freddie had always had everything, loving parents, security and expensive thoughtful gifts, and Josh had nothing. And Freddie expected it to stay that way. As long as Josh took his kind handouts he would be friendly and welcoming. But as soon as Josh achieved anything without his consent, the venom would pour out just as it had poured out during prize days or class plays. In fact Josh hadn’t seen the venom for years now because he always gave Freddie first choice of anything, and the reason behind it was that he could not be bothered with whom he ended in bed at night. They very often swapped anyway. But Maria was a different matter. He was not sharing her. Freddie was in for a surprise.
His best weapon had always been that ‘I don’t care’
attitude, so he shrugged his shoulders, “Oh don’t worry, she knows everything about me. I don’t think I can hide my wild past from anyone on earth...anymore than you can. She can watch the movie with you if she wants to. But I’m still not coming.” He will force her to choose between them. He turned on her, “Do you want to go with Freddie and his friends tonight? I’m staying here.” His heart stopped beating for those few seconds that elapsed before she formulated her polite answer.
“I can always watch it back in the UK. I have to have an early night today. The flight leaves at six tomorrow morning which means that I have to be up by three. Sorry Freddie.”
“That settles it,” said Josh. He felt elated. She had chosen him. No one had ever chosen him over Freddie. He smiled at her and took her hand, squeezing it with thanks. She smiled back.
Freddie saw the tender exchange and nodded at one of the blonde girls standing by the door. She gracefully glided across the room, bringing an irresistible whiff of expensive perfume with her. She elegantly lifted her tight lace dress and straddled Josh’s lap, “Please Josh, it’s our movie. You can’t let me show up on my own. The public expects us to turn up together. Besides, we had an understanding with Freddie tonight...you know the party at his place. You wouldn’t want to miss that.”
Josh felt Maria stiffen as she hastily removed her hand from his grasp. This will not help with her trust issues. He roughly shoved the blonde girl off him and stood up. “It’s not our movie, it’s MY movie. You were just lucky to accompany me, that’s all. I don’t care what the public expects of me. And as for our understanding for tonight...well, I’m sure that Freddie can manage to keep you both happy and satisfied all throughout the party.” He eyed both girls with disdain and gently pulled Maria into his own bedroom, leaving his guests to see themselves out.
But he knew that Freddie had somehow won the battle. Maria’s tearful state was evidence of his tiny victory. If Freddie couldn’t have her, then neither will Josh.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you had your big premier tonight? You don’t have to miss anything for me. I’ll be fine. In fact I think I will have an early night. I think Freddie must have planned quite a party for you four after the movie. She is quite beautiful too so I’m sure you’ll enjoy her...I mean… it...the party. I really don’t mind if you go.”
Josh remained silent, watching her as she kept flicking her curls away from her flushed face and pacing around the room, trying to keep her distance. Her words did not mirror her agitated actions. Maria looked at him, expecting him to say something but the silence stretched on.
“Josh, stop analysing me. You are wrong, I will be fine, I mean I am fine. You don’t have to feel guilty or anything. I am not hurt or bothered by all this. This was just a casual thing between us. It’s true I am physically attracted to you but that is all. I’m sure you get that all the time, fans must fall at your feet, but that does not mean they want to spend the rest of their lives with you. We don’t fit in each other’s worlds. Everything will go back to normal tomorrow. Anyway, who is she?”
“She’s Tanya. She starred with me in that movie.”
“Have you ever been with her? Is she one of those many thousands of lucky girls? Not that I care, I’m just curious.”
“Are you going to ask me that question every time you meet someone?” Then he shrugged, “Yes, on more than a couple of occasions and it was wildly reported too. Even Freddie has enjoyed her favours time and time again. Tanya is trying to boost her image by creating this fake illusion of a love triangle between the three of us. But believe me, love is the last thing on our minds when we’re with her.”
“What was I thinking, of course you would have slept with her, she is so beautiful. I bet gorgeous models turn you on, you will not bother yourself with plain mortals like me.” She passed her hand across her cheeks, trying to hide the streaming tears.
“Don’t be daft. You must be out of your mind if you think that I do not want to sleep with you. But I wanted something different between us. For goodness’ sake Maria, I have asked you to marry me. You know pretty well that it is not just a casual thing between us and you are hurt and bothered. I’m sorry about all this, but you have to try to trust me. I should be the jealous one here; you were going to marry the guy, so you must have been in love with him. I have never been in love. True I have slept with them but I did not love them. There was nothing binding like love. It was just physical, nothing deep or meaningful. If you want my gory details you can look up the gossip magazines which I assume you never read otherwise you would have known about Freddie, Tanya and I. I have not tried to hide my past from you, but you have to judge me on the present and future, that is all I ask of you.”
“My mum used to say that leopards never change their spots.” Her voice cracked.
“Well, have it your way, I can’t change my past. I wish that I could but I can’t. Is this a goodbye then?”
“No.” She sighed. “This is not what I had in mind when I took that hop-on flight. I thought that I could find it in my heart to forgive Rob and eventually move on and marry him, but I never thought that I would meet you to complicate matters even further. I am even more confused than before. I don’t know why you could possibly want me when you could have someone like Tanya, I can’t figure you out and that means I can’t trust you. I just need more time.”
“You can have all the time in the world as long as you don’t marry Rob. I can wait.” He circled his arms around her waist, “Come on, let’s go and have that romantic dinner, it will be just you and me,” and he bent down to kiss her forehead.
That simple act transported him to this hospital room...
....He was kissing her forehead as she lay on the bed, straining to push, grunting in pain, her face all red and sweaty.
“I’m too tired, I can’t push anymore,” she cried as she slumped back on her pillows. She looked so fragile and weak.
“Maria, you need just one final push, the poor baby needs to see her mum. Come on Maria, I know you can make it. It will all be worth it in the end,” Josh said as he clasped her hand and leaned his forehead against hers, all the time wishing that he could make all her pain disappear. But his words seemed to soothe her. She took in a final deep breath and painfully pushed the baby away.
He looked at his baby daughter on his wife’s heaving chest and his heart was suffused with happiness. He cried with joy. “Thank you, Maria. I love you, I always have and I always will.”
He continued to stare at his daughter’s perfect face but Maria was calling him back to the present. He did not want to tear his eyes away from that beautiful child but her voice was desperate, and he slowly dragged himself back to his bedroom.
He felt her frantically shaking his arm as she wiped his emotional tears of joy.
“Josh, open your eyes, what happened? You went completely blank. It seemed as though you were having a fit.”
He looked into her brown eyes and he was swamped with emotion. His voice shook and he hugged her close to him as his tears ran down onto her face, “Maria, please don’t leave me. I love you.”
“Are you crying because you do not want me to leave? Why?”
He let her go and tried to gather his thoughts as he sat down on the edge of his bed. He vigorously rubbed his hands across his face. He had to find a convincing lie somewhere in his head and he had to find it fast, very fast. She would think that he was this pathetic man crying over nothing, but any man would cry when he saw the birth of his own children. But if he told her that, she would freak out and run a thousand miles. If a mere marriage proposal after one week sounded bizarre, the birth of their children would sound completely obsessive and mad.
He could feel a headache coming on. He cleared his throat to dispel his emotions and he started to lie. “No, I was not crying. I just have a headache. Those were tears of pain because I had this sharp spasm inside my head...” He did not expect her reaction to this lie. She burst out sobbing as she put her arms round his n
eck and curled up on his lap.
“Now, why are you crying?” he asked, bewildered.
“Josh, you have to check this out immediately. The way you blanked out coupled with this headache has set my medical alarm bells ringing. It could be a serious bleed or a lesion inside your brain. We have to go to hospital...now. We can phone Freddie and he can run some tests. I will postpone my flight back to England and stay with you until we get to the bottom of this. How long have you had these symptoms? Did you tell anyone about them?”
He smiled; he had forgotten that he was lying to a doctor and that she was bound to name a disease to his made-up symptoms, so he continued to lie smoothly, “I have had these headaches ever since I was a boy. I have checked them out and they are nothing. It is just the way my brain is all wired up. But I am deeply moved by your concern. Do you care that much about me or do you cry over every patient’s neck as soon as he tells you what he is suffering from? I think I like the Maria treatment.”
She shyly removed her hands from around his neck and wiped her eyes, “No I don’t usually do that, I don’t know what came over me just now. Half of me, the reckless half, really cares about you... cares a lot, in fact cares a bit too much for my own liking and I panicked when I thought that something was wrong with you. That half wants me to stay with you forever and then I would deal with the consequences later when they arise.”
The Blake Soul Page 8