by Emily Smith
“Tell me this. Are there any lengths to which you won’t go to entertain yourself?”
“Not that I’ve found yet, no. As for Dr. Burgess Senior, well, the guy’s a blowhard. He’s going to flip his shit no matter what, so you and Galen have to find a way to get past it.”
“He’s the chief of surgery. He runs my entire life! Not to mention he’s the father of my potential girlfriend.” Putting the word out into the universe was strangely freeing and exciting. Could Galen be her girlfriend? Is that what they were working toward? She wasn’t sure. But the prospect was amazing.
“I’m not going to say a word to anyone. You know that, or you wouldn’t be here with me right now. Also, I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren’t we? You and Galen have only slept together twice.”
“But I thought you said—”
“I’m just playing devil’s advocate. Don’t worry about the Henry Burgess piece yet. You and Galen figure yourselves out first, and then you’ll get to that when you do.”
For a loudmouth, Dr. Makayla Danvers sure was wiser than she seemed at first glance. The room was starting to shift a little, and Rowan recognized that she might be a bit drunk. For a Southern girl, she didn’t hold her alcohol well. Her phone buzzed in front of her.
“Who’s that?” Makayla asked.
“Nothing. It was no one.” Rowan quickly picked up the phone and flipped it over.
“Nice try. It’s her, isn’t it? I don’t even know why I’m asking. I saw her name, stupid. What did she say? Don’t leave me in suspense.”
After everything they’d shared that night, it felt a little futile to hide anything else. Rowan turned over the phone again, unlocked it, and slid it in front of Makayla without saying anything.
What are you doing right now? I can’t stop thinking about you. Come fix that for me?
Rowan’s face burned again. “Shut up.”
“Holy shit, Texas. Forget any of my uncertainty before. Your disgustingly-cute-but-also-obnoxious infatuation is one hundred percent mutual.”
“You think so?”
“Yes! Now, answer her! Tell her you’re coming over.”
“But…”
Makayla waved dismissively. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. You and I can hang out anytime. I’m always here for you. But right now, you need to go to that woman and lock this shit down.”
“I…Thank you!” Rowan hugged her again. “I don’t care if you think this means I want to kiss you,” she said, squeezing Makayla tighter.
“I love you, too, Texas.”
Rowan picked up her phone and answered the text.
What did you have in mind?
She didn’t take her eyes off the screen in the forty-two seconds it took to get a reply.
Come over. I need to hold you again.
“Look at this,” Rowan said, smiling from her entire face and handing the phone back to Makayla.
“Wait. Play it cool. Here, try this.” Makayla began to type but turned the screen to Rowan before sending the message.
It is kind of late…but I suppose I can. Be there in half an hour?
“Almost…” Rowan added a smiley face to the end of the text. “There. Now send it.”
Both girls sat frozen until the phone lit up again several seconds later.
Can’t wait.
With that, they squealed like schoolchildren, as Rowan quietly told herself life couldn’t possibly get any better.
Chapter Sixteen
Galen knew she was coming on strong by reaching out to Rowan again. After all, it had been less than a day since she’d seen her, and just a little longer than that since they’d shared Galen’s bed. But she couldn’t bring herself to care. Talking to Teddy had proved surprisingly helpful, and she had a renewed sense of hope that she could be in her first real, healthy relationship. Was that what was happening—a relationship? Galen hadn’t had one of those in over a decade. The mere mention of the word usually made her want to vomit. But not with Rowan. This was different. Everything was different.
Galen paced nervously around her apartment. She picked up her phone and checked the time stamp from Rowan’s last message. Rowan should have been here by now. What was taking so long, anyway?
As she went to her bar cart to pour herself a couple of fingers of bourbon, her doorbell rang. Galen raced down the stairs and found Rowan outside, bundled in her wool coat and scarf like it was the middle of winter.
“If you think this is cold, wait until January,” Galen said, teasing her. “We’re going to have to thicken that Texas skin of yours.”
“Are you going to let me in or leave me here to freeze to death?”
“I mean, you do look awfully cute out there…But I really want to kiss you, so yeah, get in here.” Galen ushered her inside, and the second the door was closed behind her, Rowan threw her arms around Galen’s neck and kissed her endlessly. For the shy, quiet girl who couldn’t find the elevators on her first day, Rowan was certainly shedding much of her inhibition. And the change left Galen’s legs shaking.
“I’m glad you texted me,” Rowan said, continuing to play with the strands of hair on the back of Galen’s head.
“Me too.” Galen led them back up to her apartment and took her coat. “What were you doing anyway? Home studying up on your next lap chole, I bet.”
“For your information, I was actually out with Makayla.”
Galen thought she’d picked up hints of vermouth on Rowan’s breath. “Wait. Are you drunk?”
“What? No! Maybe a little tipsy. But definitely not drunk.”
Galen laughed and pulled Rowan against her, reveling in the smell of her hair and the softness of her skin. “Hold on.” She took a step back and held Rowan at arm’s length. “Does Makayla know?”
“I…” Rowan looked panicked, her eyes darting around the room seemingly searching for the right answers. “Yes! I’m sorry, Galen. She figured it out on her own, long before anything happened.”
The house was silent. Galen kept her face stern, but she never let go of Rowan. When she couldn’t feign anger anymore, Galen let her face soften and form a sly grin. “Are you saying you’ve had the hots for me for a while now? Because that’s what I just heard.”
Rowan tilted her chin and raised an eyebrow to her. “You would hear that, wouldn’t you? But really, you aren’t mad?”
“Of course I’m not mad, baby.” Galen held Rowan closer again until her head was resting on Galen’s chest. She was hoping Rowan hadn’t heard what she’d just said.
“Did you just ‘baby’ me?”
“I…No, I said ‘maybe.’ ‘I’m not mad, maybe.’” She sounded ridiculous, but it was too late to own her words.
“Are you sure? For someone as articulate as you are, that’s really not even a sentence. I’m pretty sure you called me ‘baby.’”
“What are the odds you’ll let this one go?” But Galen wasn’t sure she wanted Rowan to. She liked the way the pet name sounded.
“I’d say slim to none.”
Galen laughed. “In that case, let’s sit down. While we’re on this topic, there’s something I should tell you too.” Galen realized her words sounded far more ominous than she intended and instantly regretted them. Rowan followed her to the couch and sat beside her. Their shoulders touched, but Rowan refused to look at her. “No, it’s nothing like that, Ro. I’m not ending this or anything. No way in hell. I just wanted to tell you that, well…Teddy knows too.”
“Teddy?!” Rowan threw her hands up in the air and turned to Galen.
“I’m sorry! I had to talk to someone. Besides, he’s way less of a risk than Makayla Fucking Danvers.”
“You’re absolutely right.” Much to Galen’s surprise, Rowan took her face in her hands and kissed her tenderly. “And I don’t mind that you told Teddy.”
“You don’t?”
“No. I actually think it’s really sweet that you’re so hung up on me you needed to tell someone.” Rowan wove her a
rms around Galen’s waist and chuckled.
“Very funny.” She thought long and hard about what she wanted to say next. “But you aren’t wrong, Ro.”
Rowan’s expression turned from teasing to tentative. “I’m not?”
“I am so hung up on you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you for a minute since we left that call room the other day. If I’m being honest, I haven’t stopped since you kissed me on the roof that night. I don’t know what Makayla told you tonight, but I have a feeling a line or two in there was about what a player I am and how you should be careful.”
“That might have come up once or twice.”
“That might have been true.” Galen took both of Rowan’s hands and gazed as far into her eyes as she could. She needed her to hear this. She needed her to really, truly hear it. “I don’t want anything like what I used to want. I don’t want meaningless flings in the hospital with girls I don’t think about again. I don’t want to hide behind my knife anymore just because my father taught me to. I know it hasn’t been long, but goddamn it, Rowan, you have sent me for one hell of a loop. I want things I’ve never wanted before. And I want them with you.”
Rowan was quiet for so long, Galen had to wonder if she’d actually said anything at all. “What things do you want now, Galen?”
“I want…” Galen’s heart was beating so loudly now she couldn’t hear anything else. “I want you. I want just you. I want to do this, all the way. I want you to have all of me—not just the parts that are easy for me to give.”
“Dr. Burgess…” Rowan smiled, and her eyes brightened to a warm, chestnut brown Galen had never seen before. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
“That’s exactly what I’m asking. I know it’s fast. And I know you have Brian to think about, and your life back in Texas, and we have our careers, and everything with my dad but—”
Rowan gave Galen a hard kiss, gripping the sides of Galen’s head like she was afraid to ever let go. “If you think my answer to that question is anything other than yes, then you aren’t the brilliant doctor I’ve given you credit for being.”
“Really?” Galen’s heart soared to the ceiling, and her legs melted into puddles on the floor. Not even her first surgery compared to this kind of happiness. This was everything.
“Yes! I know I sound like just another Galen Burgess groupie, but I’m crazy about you. Of course I want to do this with you. I don’t care about the logistics. We can figure them out as we go.”
“You are anything but a groupie. You’re everything I didn’t know to want, Ro.”
Rowan laid her legs over Galen’s lap and leaned back on the couch. “But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t insist on a few ground rules.”
“Agreed.”
“For starters, no one else can know except Makayla and Teddy. We both have our people. But it’s too risky for anyone else to find out.”
“And I suppose that means we should be careful where we make out?”
“Subtlety isn’t one of your strongest qualities, Galen. We’ll have to work on it.” Rowan laughed.
“I resent that remark.”
“No, you don’t. You can’t be good at everything, you know.”
Galen looked at her, overcome by the magnitude of what she was feeling. “Turns out I wasn’t very good at keeping myself from falling in love with you.”
* * *
When Rowan walked into the lounge the next morning, all three young physicians in the room fell eerily silent, in the way that people do when you’ve been the inappropriate topic of conversation. Makayla, Teddy, and Carly, one of the senior residents who Rowan hadn’t gotten to know particularly well, stopped their chatter and looked up simultaneously.
“What’s going on in here?” Rowan asked, cautiously. But she was afraid she already knew the answer.
“Nothing. Just talking about…” Teddy sounded indecisive.
“Perirectal abscesses!” Carly chimed in several seconds too late.
“Oh, yeah. Hate those perirectal abscesses,” Makayla added. “I had one in the ED last week the size of a grapefruit. Went all the way up to the sigmoid colon. Nasty.”
Rowan had to admit, Makayla was a much better liar than Teddy and Carly. She was concerned for a minute that actual smoke might have been seeping from her ears. How could Makayla tell Carly? It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours, yet she’d already been talking about her? Rowan had thought Makayla was her friend. Rowan had given her a chance to prove her wrong, and she hadn’t.
Because things couldn’t actually get any worse, Galen entered the room shortly thereafter, stepping into the thick tension building around them. “Hi, guys. What’s everyone up to?” She didn’t wait for a reply. “Rowan, can I see you in my office when you get a second? I want to go over…your charts. Yeah, we need to discuss some discrepancies in your charting.”
Heat consumed Rowan’s face until her entire head felt like it was on fire and her brain might melt from the inside out. “Sure. I’ll be right there.”
Galen nodded once and left the room.
“Charting? Is that what they’re calling it?” Carly muttered under her breath, followed by a quiet chuckle that wasn’t lost on Rowan.
“Thanks, Kayla.” Rowan glared at them and turned, storming out of the room.
“Rowan, wait.” Makayla was right behind her, but it wasn’t until they were clear in the hallway that Rowan stopped to look at her.
“How could you?”
“It wasn’t me, I swear,” Makayla protested.
“Then who? Teddy?”
“Obviously! He told me he and Carly were having dinner last night, and he just let it slip. Don’t be mad at him. It was an accident. You know Teddy. He’d never hurt anyone. Especially not Galen.”
Rowan contemplated Makayla’s plea. “And why should I believe you?”
“Because I promised you could trust me. Because we’re grown-ups. Besides, you can’t honestly expect this isn’t going to get out. This kind of thing never stays a secret for long. Eventually, the entire program will know, and you and Galen are going to have to figure out how to deal with it instead of berating me and Teddy for trying our best to keep your dirty secret.”
Makayla was right. They couldn’t expect to keep this quiet forever. Was that even what Rowan wanted? Didn’t she want a normal relationship where she could be open with her friends and coworkers? “I’m sorry. This isn’t your problem.”
“And?” Makayla put her hands on her hips.
“And what?”
“And this is the part where you apologize for assuming I spilled the beans, not Teddy.”
Rowan sighed. “I’m sorry I blamed you for telling Carly. You’re a good friend.”
“So is Teddy, you know. This is a big secret to keep, Texas. Think about that.” Makayla turned to go, the swing in her step sassier than usual. Just as she reached the door to the lounge, she stopped. “And your apology is accepted.”
* * *
“Carly knows.” Rowan shut the door to Galen’s office, her panic escalating.
“What? How?” Galen stood from her chair, her face pinched and worried.
“Teddy told her.”
“No way. It had to be Makayla.”
“That’s what I thought too. But Makayla had a very convincing story for why it wasn’t. I don’t think Teddy meant any harm. You know he worships you. It’s just…”
Galen took a step toward Rowan and placed her hands on Rowan’s hips. “What is it?”
“Makayla made a good point. She said this kind of thing always gets out. She’s right. We can’t expect this to stay a secret for long, Galen.”
“Baby…” Galen rubbed the small of Rowan’s back, soothing her anxiety until all Rowan cared about was being in Galen’s arms again. “It’s all going to be fine, okay? You’re right. Why should I keep you a secret when you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”
“I’ll give you one good reason, and his name is Hen
ry Burgess.”
“Oh, fuck my father. I’m never going to make him happy. And this makes me happy. You make me happy. Besides, you said yourself that the hospital can’t fire either of us.”
“I know that’s what I said, but everyone in the program knowing? That feels big. And scary. Everyone will think you’re giving me the best cases or the best schedule—”
“I am giving you the best cases. But it’s not because you’re my girlfriend. It’s because you’re the best intern I have. You’ve earned those cases. And if those other guys are too narcissistic to see that, then that’s their problem.”
Rowan was out of retorts. “So we just go tell everyone, then? Maybe some kind of grand Facebook post?”
“I’m not suggesting that. I’m just saying maybe we don’t try so hard to hide it. Let them figure it out for themselves.” At some moments, and they were becoming closer and closer together, Rowan looked at Galen and knew exactly why she’d fallen in love with her so quickly. And this was absolutely one of them.
“Okay. I guess that sounds reasonable.” Rowan kissed Galen’s cheek. “Just one more thing…”
“What is it?”
“Call me ‘baby’ again?”
Galen laughed and touched Rowan’s cheek. “Oh, you like that, do you?”
“I think I could get used to it, yeah.”
* * *
Thanksgiving was the next day, and Galen felt the excitement of the impending holidays even more than she usually did. Christmas was always the one time of year her parents made an effort for her and her sisters. The tree was stacked with gifts, food was plentiful, and her father never went into work. It was the one day of the year he refused to be on call. And, just to prove his sincerity, he’d ceremoniously put his pager in his dresser at midnight on Christmas Eve, all of the Burgess kids looking on eagerly. Of course, now that she was chief resident, Galen would take call on Thanksgiving herself so her residents could be home with their families. It wasn’t required, but it was the right thing to do. And she did it gladly. As her father would say, “Appendixes don’t give a damn that it’s a holiday.”