“It was delivered by a drone ship not fifteen minute ago,” Schneider said, going around the front of the box to pop the latches. “The ship is waiting outside the airlock. I thought it had to be some kind of mistake but now I’m not so sure. Here, take a look for yourself.” He hit the release and the silver lid of the box slid back to reveal the shape of a small blond man, not much taller than Leita. The man was completely naked and had a smooth chest. He appeared to be sleeping naturally in the confines of the silver box, his small penis curled like a pink shrimp on his inner thigh.
“What the…?” Leita took a step forward and peered down into the box, frowning. Close up, the blond man didn’t look quite so realistic. His pale perfect skin had an almost plastic quality to it and his hair was coarse and unmoving like a wig. Leaning over the box, she couldn’t help but notice that a strong chemical smell—almost a reek— emanated from the sleeping form. The blond man stirred in his box and she sucked in a lungful of the toxic stink in surprise and straightened up, coughing and choking.
“What is this?” she demanded, pointing at the stinking blond man-thing in the box. “This is your Companion 2000,” Schneider said grimly. “Look, this came with it.”
He handed Leita a small vid clipboard that was blinking red, showing an urgent message. Feeling numb, Leita took it and pressed the display button.
Dear Ms. McLain, the message began.
It has recently come to our attention that you did not receive the small, smooth, blond, vanilla Companion 2000 you ordered from the Premium section of our online catalogue. It is with deepest regret that we acknowledge and rectify this situation. Included in this shipment, please find the Companion 2000 of your choice. We are sending an extra year’s supply of nutrient powder to apologize for your inconvenience. Kindly ship the empty containment unit that was mailed to you one and a half standard months ago back via the drone ship. We hope this oversight has not affected your decision to order from us in the future—we count you among our best and most discriminating of customers.
Sincerely,
Aldus Poindexter Pennyritch III
President of For Her Pleasure Premium Site for Women
“Empty containment unit?” Leita frowned at the vid clipboard in confusion. “What are they talking about? The only other unit we got had Pierce in it.”
“Well, then maybe Pierce isn’t exactly what he claims to be.” Schneider crossed his arms over his narrow chest. “Did you consider that, Leita?”
“But…but that’s crazy.” Leita shook her head. “I mean, why would Pierce pretend to be something he’s not?”
“I don’t know,” Schneider said. “But look at the thing in the box and compare it with your latest amour. Looks different, smells different.” He wrinkled his nose at the chemical stench, so different from Pierce’s spicy, masculine musk. “Personally, I don’t think Pierce is a Companion at all.”
“He’s an upgrade,” Leita protested weakly. “One of the 3000 series instead of a 2000 like this one.” She nodded at the box where the blond Companion was stirring. Suddenly it opened its eyes and sat straight up, like a vampire rising from its coffin.
Leita and Schneider both jumped back with muffled curses of surprise and Leita tightened her grip on the tazer pen in her hand. “What the—?” she began, but was interrupted by the robotic, slightly fruity tones of the Companion 2000.
“Hello, Mistress,” it said, eyeing both her and Schneider with its pale, somehow plastic-looking eyes. “I am a Companion 2000, built with your personal needs in mind. Would you mind telling me which of you I am to satisfy?”
“Which one of us you’re…?” Leita shook her head. “Look, Schneider and I aren’t—”
“Both of you?” the Companion 2000 interrupted her. It climbed out of its box and stood before them, smiling. “That presents no problem at all. I am eager and willing to please and have been programmed to perform in any and all threesome sexual situations. Observe.” It pointed to the pink shrimplike penis curled against its thigh and suddenly the organ inflated to full erection. It was an eerie performance, Leita thought with a faint shiver of disgust, like someone blowing up a pink penis-shaped balloon all in one breath.
“Look—” she began but the Companion cut her off again.
“I have only one penis, of course, but I will be more than happy to service one of you orally while I mount the other. So then…” It clapped its hands and looked from her to Schneider and back again. “Which one of you prefers to be mounted?”
“Neither of us,” Leita said hastily while she and Schneider backed away in horror. “That is, we don’t want you to service us.”
“Most assuredly you do,” the Companion corrected her. “Or you would not have sent for me. Remember that I am programmed to fulfill even your most socially unacceptable sexual fantasies—such as making love to both you and your cat at the same time. Others may frown on bestiality, but if that is what you wish, I am more than happy to participate.”
“I am not a cat.” Schneider sounded mortally offended. “And Leita and I don’t feel that way about each other.”
“He’s right,” Leita put in, feeling sick at the idea. “We don’t.”
“If you did not, then you would not have asked me to service you at the same time,” the Companion said reasonably, still advancing. “Let us explore your deliciously perverted fantasies together, Mistress. I vow not to judge you in any way.”
It stepped forward as though to take her in its arms and Leita lost it. “I said, no!” she yelled. Pointing the tazer pen at the Companion’s chest, she shot a bolt of electricity at it, halting it in its tracks. There was a faint smell of burning and the Companion’s eyes rolled up in its head but it didn’t fall over. It just stood there for a moment, then shook itself all over and smiled at her pleasantly.
“I am a Companion 2000,” it said in that same, fruity voice that was really beginning to get on her nerves. “How may I service you, Mistress?”
Great—all she’d managed to do was restart it at the beginning of its spiel.
“We don’t want any service,” Schneider was already beginning to tell it but Leita had an idea.
“Are you programmed for housework?” she asked the Companion. “You know, to help clean up, dust, vacuum—that kind of thing?”
The blond eyebrows drew together and the Companion frowned. “I am programmed to fulfill your every fantasy, Mistress,” it said. “No matter how perverted or socially unacceptable.”
“Well, it might not be perverted enough to suit you but right now my fantasy is for you to…uh, vacuum the carpet in the living area.” Leita pointed to the ancient vacuum wall unit with its long, snaky hose for sucking up the unwanted dirt tracked in through the airlock. “So get to it.”
The Companion looked confused again for a moment, then it nodded its blond head knowingly. “I see, we are to play out a fantasy of yours in which I am a helpless slave boy who is forced to do light domestic chores. Later you will push me to the floor and ravish me despite my vigorous protests.”
“Yeah, whatever gets your motor running,” Leita muttered, wondering what the hell was wrong with the thing—it had sex on the brain. If it had a brain, that was.
The Companion went over and grabbed the retractable hose of the vacuum unit and stroked it suggestively. “Very well then, here I am—a simple slave boy sent to do my cruel Mistress’s bidding.”
“Just shut up and vacuum,” Leita told it, losing patience. What the hell had she been thinking, ordering such a weird contraption? And more importantly, what or who was Pierce?
She turned to go back to the bedroom and confront him when he came into the living area, yawning and scratching his chest.
“Hey, what’s going on in here?” he asked. “I heard shouting and…” He trailed off, his eyes widening as he took in the long silver box and the blond Companion that had come out of it. The Companion, despite Leita’s order to vacuum, appeared to be more interested in rubbing its still erect p
enis against the wall unit’s long, snaky hose.
The minute she saw Pierce in the same room with the Companion, Leita knew there was no way he was what he had been claiming to be. Schneider had been right—he didn’t look or smell or sound like a Companion—not even enough to be an upgrade from a different series. He was a man—but what kind of man would hide in a shipping box and pretend to be a sex toy?
“What is that thing and why is it humping the vacuum?” Pierce asked flatly, nodding at the Companion 2000 which was still engaged in foreplay with the wall unit’s hose.
“That is what you are not—a Companion,” Leita told him. “It just came by drone ship along with a letter from the president of the company apologizing for sending me an empty box the first time around. Only it wasn’t empty, was it, Pierce? It had you in it. But you’re not a Companion 2000 or 3000 or any other damn number, are you?”
Pierce frowned. “Look, honey, I’ve been meaning to tell you—”
“So it’s true.” Leita felt sudden tears fill her eyes and she brushed them away angrily with the back of her hand. She’d been hoping against hope that she was wrong but Pierce’s words confirmed her worst fears.
“Yeah, it’s true but—”
“You’ve been playing a game all this time—pretending to be a Companion when you’re actually just some guy that got in a box and shipped himself out here,” Leita interrupted him. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Who are you, anyway, one of the employees at the plant where the Companions are manufactured? Or just some horny asshole that thought it might be fun to take me for a ride?”
“It’s not like that at all,” Pierce objected. “It’s true I was in the factory but not because I work there. I was in a shootout with some bastards who wanted to take me in and—”
“Oh, this just gets better and better,” Schneider cut in, lashing his tail in agitation. “Not only are you not what you represented yourself to be, you’re also a wanted fugitive, on the run from the authorities.”
“What? No!” Pierce protested. “Look, Leita, don’t listen to him. He never liked me in the first place. I’m not some kind of fugitive. Well, not exactly, it’s just that I have this bounty on my head—which is not my fault—and I thought this would be a good place to hide while the heat died down. But I didn’t come here on purpose, I just—”
“Oh, I see.” Leita nodded jerkily. “You thought the best way to get away from it all would be to mail yourself to a lonely, desperate woman and pretend to be a sex toy. What were you planning, Pierce? To gain my trust, wait until you thought it was safe and leave in the middle of the night?”
“Well, yes, initially but… Look.” He shook his head. “This is all coming out wrong. If you’ll just listen to me for a minute…” He took a step toward her and Leita pointed the tazer pen at his bare, hairy chest.
“I’m through listening to you, Pierce, or whatever your name is,” she spat. “Everything you’ve told me so far is a lie and I’m not interested in hearing more. And to think, I told you…told you everything. I let you know my darkest desires because you pretended you were a Companion, a machine that wouldn’t judge me. Were you laughing at me, Pierce? Did my sick little fantasies amuse you?” It was Eddie all over again, she thought, feeling the stab of betrayal like a knife to her gut.
“Leita, come on.” His deep voice was beginning to sound desperate. “It wasn’t like that—you know it wasn’t.”
“I don’t know anything about you and I don’t want to know,” Leita said, in a voice that trembled more than she wanted it to. “I can’t believe the things I told you—the things I let you do to me. I…I let you tie me up and blindfold me and…and you used the nipple clamps on me!”
“You liked that,” Pierce objected. “You said it was what you wanted.”
“You let him put clamps on your pink nubbly things?” Schneider interrupted, swishing his tail. “Didn’t that hurt?”
“Shut up, Schneider,” she said, not taking her eyes from Pierce. “The point is, Pierce, I trusted you. I trusted you and you betrayed that trust. You betrayed me.”
“Leita, I swear, I was going to tell you first thing in the morning.” Pierce’s blue eyes were pleading. “Last night changed me—made me change my mind, I mean. Please, Leita, you have to believe me.”
“I don’t have to believe anything you say ever again.” Leita made her voice hard and cold even though she felt like she was dying inside. “There’s a drone ship waiting outside the airlock to take back the supposedly empty box you came in. You have five seconds to get on it.”
“Leita, I’m naked here. You can’t just—” Pierce stepped toward her.
“Oh, yes I can.” She pointed the tazer pen at him again. “Don’t come another step.”
“But I just…” Pierce took another step and she shot him.
“Ow!” He didn’t quite fall on the floor but he staggered and barely caught himself against the nearby wall. The living area filled with the odor of burning hair and a round, fist-sized bare spot appeared on his medium-hairy chest. Pierce looked down at himself in astonishment. “You shot me!”
“Damn straight and I’ll do it again if you don’t get out of here.” Leita motioned toward the airlock. “Go.” She watched with tears pooling in her eyes as Pierce turned toward the airlock door and the waiting drone ship outside the life pod.
He put his hand on the door and turned back just before he opened it. “I know you don’t believe this, Leita,” he said softly. “But this last month and a half has been the best time of my life. You made me feel things…understand things… Hell, I’m no good at this.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I just…just wanted to say—well, you’re important to me and I…”
Leita felt the tears overflow her eyes and run down her cheeks. “Go,” she managed to say, before the sobs overtook her. “No more lies, Pierce—just go.”
“Can’t you see you’ve caused enough harm here?” Schneider stood between her and Pierce protectively. “Go on, leave her in peace.”
“I’m sorry,” Pierce said. “More sorry than I can say.” His deep voice sounded sincere, but how could she tell anymore if he was being sincere or just acting?
She turned her head, unable to watch as Pierce opened the door and left, getting into the drone ship that would take him back to Osiris and out of her life forever.
She ran back to her bedroom and fell on the bed, hands pressed to her eyes. Betrayed again. She felt sick. How could she have been such a fool? Pierce was nothing but an opportunistic bastard, looking for a place to lay low for a while and enjoy plenty of kinky sex with a lonely, desperate woman who was so horny she’d even screw what she thought was a machine. He’d probably been laughing at her this entire time.
Leita pressed her face into a pillow, then realized it was his. His spicy, musky scent still lingered on the fabric, reminding her of the nights she’d spent with her head on his shoulder and his big, muscular arm thrown around her protectively. She cried harder and hugged the pillow to her chest.
Oh Goddess, and the worst thing of all wasn’t that he’d betrayed her like all the others. No, the worst thing was that she’d allowed herself to fall in love with him. What an idiot she’d been. What a gullible moron!
She was so immersed in her tears that she didn’t hear Schneider come in until he was actually tapping her on the shoulder.
“What?” Leita looked up from the pillow and rubbed at her eyes. “Can’t you see I’m busy dying on the inside here, Schneider?”
Schneider’s golden eyes widened in sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Leita. I was afraid he would hurt you somehow. I wish I had been wrong.”
“Me too.” She sat up and put down the pillow. Then she took a deep breath to clear her head. “Well, never again, Schneider. I’m never getting involved with a man again— not even a manufactured one.”
“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about—the, uh, manufactured man. Your new Companion 2000.” Schneider groomed his whisker
s nervously. “What about him?” Leita asked dully. “Is he still vacuuming?”
“In a manner of speaking,” Schneider said. “Remember how he was rubbing against the vacuum unit while you and Pierce were…er, I mean, earlier?”
“Yes, so?” Leita frowned at him.
Schneider sighed. “Well, his pink stick thing got sucked into the unit’s tube and, well… I think he’s stuck.”
Pierce cursed himself all the way back to Osiris. He was buck naked in the cold drone ship and his chest was scorched from where Leita had shot him with the damn tazer, which made for a long, dull, miserable ride so he had plenty of time for cursing. Hell, he even got to use some words twice.
Why hadn’t he given in to his impulse and awoken Leita up the night before to tell her how he felt? Why hadn’t he realized he loved her sooner and acted on it instead of going on and on with the charade he’d been playing like a stupid fool?
Well, it was too late now, Pierce told himself. Leita would never trust him again. Better he try to forget about her and go on with his life. But he couldn’t forget. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her big brown eyes that always looked so trusting and sweet, her soft curvy body, the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose… How could he just forget the one woman in the galaxy who meant anything to him? No matter how hard he tried, there was no way he could do it. Well, you’d better try harder, Pierce told himself sternly. Leita hated him now and he didn’t blame her a bit. Hell, he hated himself.
All the way back to Osiris his thoughts kept running in the same tired loop. Eventually he got to the factory and sneaked off the unmanned drone ship. He stole a gray coverall from the employee locker room to avoid suspicion and tried not to breathe in too many fumes from the flesh tanks where the Companions were being grown. He wondered if Leita was having fun with the little blond guy they’d sent her and the thought made him grind his teeth.
It was ridiculous to be jealous of a sex robot but damn if he wasn’t jealous as hell. It wasn’t right that the stupid man-whore Companion should be back at the life pod with Leita, sharing time with her and giving her pleasure—that was Pierce’s job! He wished he was back there with her right now, fixing ships in the mech bay or making dinner or watching a vid or making love to her while she panted his name.
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