by JC Hay
“You being able to communicate with my wolf. A lot of people assume that the wolves broadcast to anyone nearby.”
“They don’t.” He nodded. He recognized the sense of it but hadn’t thought about it. “The wolfbond keeps it from devolving into chaos.”
“Right. It’s hard for a unit to be combat-ready when we’re waist-deep in each other’s feelings.” He heard Chen shifting and opened his eyes to find her close to the bed. She smiled at him again. “I don’t want to exhaust you. You’re supposed to be recovering. If you want us to go—”
“No. Please stay.” He scooted up the pillows slightly. “There’s nothing worse than just laying here.”
“We didn’t catch your guy. Ratliff?”
“Yeah. Liam Ratliff.” Not catching him was bad. It meant he could still threaten his family. “My family,” he croaked out.
“Are fine, including your sister. We might not have caught Ratliff, but we’ve got plenty of data proving he was there. And enough communications data to tie him to mercenaries. The survivors are being remarkably cooperative.” Chen’s grin was understated but spoke volumes. Mercenaries had a reputation for self-interest, after all. “It’s more than enough to hand over to the Joint Council to pursue Ratliff as a criminal. He won’t sleep free for long. As for anyone else involved—intelligence is combing through everything we collected now. The initial data was easy, but it will be weeks before they finish up a full search.”
“What about other moles?”
“They’ve taken a soldier from supply chain into custody. I get the impression that there might be more on other ships in the constellation, but for now it’s done.”
“About that.”
“Save your strength,” she responded.
“No. I really need to say some things. When I saw you and Nujalik... When I realized what I’d done had the potential to hurt you both...I made bad choices. I thought I had been acting to keep you from getting hurt, and the opposite happened.” He rubbed his face with one hand, could feel the tubes in his arms dragging as he moved. “I was wrong.”
“You were,” she agreed. “And selfish.”
“Yeah.”
“But at the same time, some of that is my fault. I wall people out. My blood family made it hard for me to trust other people. I don’t like to do the hard work of talking to someone else and would rather just accept the status quo. Even when it’s bad for me. Even when it’s hard for Nujalik.” At her name, the wolf crawled partway up the med-bay bed and wedged herself between Javad and the rail.
He managed a chuckle with only a slight wince, then reached down to scratch between the wolf’s tufted ears. “So what do we do about it?”
“An umbra wolf will occasionally pick a second person to share with; it’s rare enough that even a lot of rangers consider it a myth.” She threaded her fingers into Nujalik’s coat as well, brushing against his hand so all three of them could touch each other. “It can be a very intense experience.”
Javad nodded. “I can imagine it would be.” He gestured to the glass, and the two of them went through the elaborate ritual of him taking another drink of water. “I’m used to being a workaholic, and I’m not good in social situations. I can fake it because of the restaurant work, but I’m lousy at it.”
“I have a better understanding of my wolf’s emotions than my own.” She chuckled. “Though I guess so do you. Told you it would take some getting used to. I just think that if Nujalik likes you enough to want you as part of her chosen family...there are worse foundations to start from.”
Javad let that sink in. Both the offer and the idea of what their relationship could be. A flash of fear wicked across his back with a chill damp. “Is my presence on the ship a distraction? A security risk? Do I need to be reassigned?”
“Your omni’s part of what was collected by Intelligence. And the fact that you didn’t get flagged during your background check has prompted a deeper security review of both military and civilian personnel in the constellation. The commander has decided to leave it up to you if you want or need to be reassigned though.”
“We can table that for now. And as for us...” His stomach clenched, and he felt Nujalik’s comforting warmth wrap around his fear and ease it. The wolf couldn’t take it away, but she could help bear the weight. “I can’t promise that I’m not going to screw this up. It’s entirely like me to do something selfish or stupid out of my desire to drag things into the light.”
Chen’s hand squeezed his gently. “If we’re issuing warnings, then I can’t guarantee I’ll share things with you. I’m better at companionable silence than examining my feelings. And even if I wanted to tell you everything, some stuff will be classified. It’s a big change for me. But I can promise to try.”
“A lot of people have gotten started with less than that,” he admitted. Holding her hand sent a warmth and comfort throbbing up his arm like a shared heartbeat. Nujalik twisted to rest her chin on their clasped hands.
Chen laughed—her real laugh, unguarded by concern or worry—and it broke down the last of the barriers between them. He could, faintly, feel the bubble of her amusement at the other end of the wolf bond, carried by the umbra wolf that connected them. “I may have forgotten to mention that we’re a package deal. It’s both of us or none.”
That prompted a whole new wave of fear; knowing he had the capacity to heart not one, but both of them. A cool, damp nose pressed into his palm, a wordless question curling up the fledgling bond. He could hurt them both, but he also had the potential to make them both completely happy. Something that he would make a life’s goal of if he needed to.
He smiled, tugging her hand slightly to bring Chen closer. When she did, he rested his forehead against hers, relishing the perfectness of the three of them together. A triangle of fear and joy and anxiety and love. The last one most of all. Javad tilted his head, leaning up to kiss her with all the energy he could muster, until his breath burned and the wound in his side ached even through the painkillers. It was worth it. He could feel Chen’s worry echoed along the bond, could sense Nujalik’s patient calm reminding her he was okay.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he whispered.
Nujalik shifted again, careful to stay on his uninjured side. The umbra wolf’s smug happiness wrapped around him like a fluffy tail.
“You say that now,” Chen muttered, brushing his hair back from his face.
“I’ll say it always.” She described the bond to him as finding the other half of herself, and he finally understood. With the two of them in his life, he felt complete. It was exactly as wonderful as he’d hoped it would be.
Also by JC Hay
TriSystems: Rangers
Inouye
Grenville
Chen
Penzak (Coming Soon – Originally Shadow of the Past from Pets in Space 3)
May (Coming Soon)
TriSystems: Smugglers
Heart of the Spider’s Web (in Pets in Space 4)
The Corporate Services Books
Dubai Double Cross
Mumbai Manhunt
South Seas Salvation
Flare: Team Corona (Part of The Great Space Race)
Hearts and Minds
Acknowledgments
Every book is unique, and each writer has an army that stands behind them, every member of which brings unique skills to help the final product take shape. Chen, my beloved, difficult child, is no exception. While there is never enough space to thank the limitless hands (and paws) that shape the creation of a story, I certainly have to try.
First, to Sasha—you fit in edits, provided suggestions, and helped shape and reshape this story. The rough clay I first sent you ages ago has little resemblance to the final product, and that’s all to the story’s benefit. You catch my problems and logic gaps like no one else, and you seem to inherently know the best way to drag a compelling story from the rough-hewn clay I often start with. Thank you for your patience, your skill, and abov
e all, your friendship.
To my darling partner, none of this would be possible without you. You are the happily ever after in my life, and your support, your belief, and your love help make everything else possible. Thank you for continually being my shoulder, my support, and when I need it, my taskmaster. Most of all, thank you for continuing to say yes every day.
To my papillons, F and L – even though I know you can’t read this. The umbra wolves are my love letter to you and they couldn’t have existed without you in my life. As Nick Cave perfectly wrote “grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love, and like love, grief is non-negotiable.” The joys, love, and also the grief that you’ve taught me have made my life immensely richer. This has been a hard year to get through, and one fewer set of paws has ached more than I expected. But I learned from you both that nothing is so bad that it can’t be healed by cuddling a fluff, chasing a ball, having a good meal, or sleeping at the seaside. I’ll miss you forever, F.
Thank you to Shannan who told me I should, and Kim who made me look good, and my sisters and brothers in my RWA chapter who keep me honest and inspired. Thanks to Veronica and Pauline and all my Pets in Space fellows – what great fun we’ve had, for such good cause; I’m looking forward to the next round already.
And lastly, thank you dear reader, and all the readers. Science Fiction Romance is a niche inside another niche, and it is your belief that they aren’t strange bedfellows, your voracious appetite for more great stories, and your dedication that keep me going. You are collectively the reason I sit down in front of the keyboard every day, and the payout that makes all the low times worthwhile.
Bless you all,
JC
About the Author
JC Hay is an SFR Galaxy Award-winning, USA Today bestselling author of Science Fiction Romance, an inveterate dog lover, and dreamer. His tales of heroic hearts and fantastic futures reflect his heartfelt belief that sci-fi and romance go hand-in-hand, because the coolest gadgets in the world are useless without someone to share them.
In addition to Romance Writers of America, he is also a proud member of the SFR Brigade (for Science Fiction Romance), and a proud member of RWA’s PAN (published authors network).
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