by Erik Rounds
Tasha thought back to the dragon who was flying over the caravan the previous day. The dwarf continued speaking. “When kidnappers take someone, the first thing they do is change which save point the victim is registered to. They will try to find a save point that they can control.”
“And have you already checked all of the save points in the area?” Tasha asked.
“Yes, but there could be save points that we aren’t aware of. Save points hidden in caves or forgotten dungeons to name a few possibilities.”
Suddenly Slimon stuck his tongue out and gave out a loud “Pfffpt! Pfft pffpt.”
“Uh…” Tasha said apprehensively, “did your slime friend just blow a raspberry at me?”
Ari turned to the slime. “I apologize. I’m afraid our companion isn’t familiar with your strange but beautiful language. Tasha, slimes don’t have vocal chords and can’t produce words humans can understand. This is how they communicate. He can understand spoken English just fine, though.”
Tasha threw up her hands in exasperation. “Okay, fine. On the scale of strange things that I’ve encountered in Etheria, this isn’t so bad. So what was he saying?”
“Slimon suggested that we go back to exploring the area she was taken from,” said Hermes. “We might get lucky and find something new. Let’s meet by the entrance in another hour. Well, not you, Tasha. Obviously you’ll still be in jail for the foreseeable future.”
So Ari, Pan, Hermes, and Slimon all left her holding cell and disappeared from view. After they left, Tasha started looking for some way to escape. She didn’t see any obvious breaks in the stone tiles, and the bars on the windows wouldn’t budge. There wasn’t anything in her inventory that she could use to break out. They had left her with her armor but had affixed a collar onto her neck that prevented her from casting magical spells.
After ten minutes of looking around fruitlessly, she sat down on the bed and decided to spend her stat points.
After her interaction with the elven guard earlier that morning, Tasha had come to understand the value of charisma. While it may not have any usefulness in combat, it played a major role in convincing the guard to let her into the castle. She doubted that she would have been able to convince him to quit his job on the spot without the aid of a boosted charisma score.
Then she thought about the fight in the marketplace. She was only just barely able to lift the buster sword. Another few points of strength would have made lifting it much easier. An additional stat point would also increase the amount of damage that she could apply to enemies. Ultimately she opted to divide her stats between charisma and strength. She hadn’t had a chance to allocate the mana container due to being interrupted by Slimon. Hopefully it was still lying on the ground in the marketplace. She pulled up her stats window:
Tasha Singleton (Level 8 Couch Potato)
Race
Human (Player)
Subclass
None
Weapon
Unarmed (ATK 0.5)
Armor
Standard Running Shoes (DEF 1)
Iron Bangle (DEF 1)
Light Chainmail Armor (DEF +8)
Collar of Magic Silencing (DEF 0.5)
Heart Containers
7/7
Mana Containers
5/5
Amusement Index
4.1
Strength
9
Intelligence
10
Agility
10
Precision
6
Charisma
6
ATK
9
MAG ATK
16
DEF
16
MAG DEF
8
The moment Tasha spent the stat points and hit the confirm button, her muscles increased in bulk. She looked around for something to lift to test out her new strength, but the cell was mostly empty. She attempted to bend the bars, but they didn’t budge. Just how many points of strength would she need to be able bend the bars with her bare hands? It would still be another three hours before she could use Stat Shuffle again, as it was still on cooldown.
She decided that she would focus on agility for the next two levels in order to improve her ability to dodge attacks and move quickly.
Allocating her stats had killed a good five minutes. The mind-numbing boredom began to set in once again.
Escape ideas began to run through her head. Picking the cell’s lock wasn’t an option because she didn’t have a lockpick or any of the requisite abilities. She couldn’t force the bars open with her bare hands. If only she wasn’t wearing that damn magic-silencing collar, she might be able to spellcast her way out.
Then she had another idea. She had the Sprint ability. Maybe if she slammed her body into the bars, it would be a strong enough force to dislodge them.
She backed away to the far end of the cell, put one leg behind her, and crouched down into a starting position. She invoked Sprint and ran headlong toward the bars.
In the days and weeks that were to come, she never did figure out why she thought this was a good idea. As her body impacted the bars at high speed, they didn’t give even a tiny bit. Tasha had hit the bars with her head and neck, losing three heart containers all at once.
Tasha wanted to scream in pain, but it was too intense for her to do anything but lie on the ground. For a good ten minutes, she didn’t move, barely conscious, pain throbbing through her body. Blood was pouring out from her head injury, coloring the cell floor. Several of her teeth had been knocked out and were lying on the ground beside her. The sight made her nauseous.
Then something occurred to her. If she did this another two times, it would drain the remainder of her heart containers and kill her. Tasha would be reborn at the save point, and she would be free to resume her adventure.
Still dizzy from the blood loss, she stood up, causing additional throbs of pain to pulse through her head. She slowly hobbled to the back of the cell and got into a starting position once again. She just needed to ignore the pain and hope that she didn’t pass out.
Again Tasha invoked Sprint and made a mad dash toward the bars. As she was about to collide with them, she heard someone call out her name from behind her. It was hard to make out who it was. Making a split-second decision, she attempted to stop but had built up too much momentum and slammed into the bars, losing two more heart containers.
“Tasha, what are you doing?” a female voice cried out.
“Slamming my head into the bars,” Tasha explained. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”
Tasha turned around and saw the cat girl that she’d rescued on the other side of the window. Tasha approached the window. There were bars on the window, but she could see outside just fine. The cat girl was crouching just beyond the window.
Tasha’s head was pounding from the impact, and her vision was starting to blur. “Hey, I remember you. Why are you here?”
“I came to bust you out. My name’s Ally,” the cat girl said. “You saved me from being captured, so I owe you a debt. Exactly why were you slamming your head against the bars? I don’t think you’ll be able to break them that way.”
It was hard for Tasha to focus on her words through what was probably a concussion. “If I die I’ll respawn, right?”
Ally just frowned at Tasha with disapproval. “If you die from a suicide, you’ll lose half your levels. Didn’t anyone tell you that? The developers use it to stop people from using death as a travel tool.”
“Half my levels?” Tasha said, confused. “Huh?”
She was finding it hard to focus on anything. Her thoughts were progressively more distorted as time went on.
“Here,” the cat lady said, “drink this. You probably have a concussion.”
Through the bars, Ally handed Tasha a vial with some red liquid in it. Tasha looked at it, uncertain. What was she supposed to do with it? What did people normally do with bottles of liquid?
“Drink it,” Ally prompted.
The kitty cat lady was right. Bottles of liquid were for drinking. She popped the cork and put some of it in her mouth, sloshed it around a bit, and swallowed. Her heart containers refilled, and her confusion subsided. “Thanks. I’m okay now. You’re right, that was a bad idea. No more trying to murder myself in the most painful way imaginable. Girl scout’s honor.”
Tasha really needed to start thinking through her actions before putting them into effect. Her acting without thinking was the reason she’d ended up in jail in the first place. She was a genius at coming up with bad ideas.
“I’m glad you understand. Anyway, like I said, you saved me from being captured by the orcs, so I’m going to help you in return.”
Ally tapped at the air in front of her, operating her menu. A moment later, a wooden log appeared in her hand. She set it on the ground.
“Uhh,” said Tasha, “thanks, but I don’t see how that will help me out of my current predicament.”
Holding her furry hand in front of her, Ally’s hands spelled out a number of signs. Tasha knew from her vast wealth of experience watching Japanese cartoons that the cat girl was weaving a ninja spell of some kind.
A tone signified that the spell had been invoked, and the world around Tasha faded. Vertigo filled her for a moment, and the next thing she knew, Tasha was standing outside of the jail looking in through the window at the cat girl, the wooden log lying beside Tasha at her feet.
Ally weaved the spell again and vanished from the cell in a puff of smoke, appearing next to Tasha. The log was now lying in the cell where the cat girl had been a moment earlier.
“What just happened?” Tasha asked.
She smiled and got to work on removing Tasha’s magic inhibiting collar. “It’s ninjutsu. The substitution jutsu is one of the commonly used abilities. I can switch places with a person or object standing within an arm’s length of me. It’s traditional to swap places with wooden logs, but any person or object would do. A cell like this would never be able to hold someone like me, since I’d probably just pick the lock.”
“Well, you have my gratitude,” Tasha said. “I owe you one. Ninjas are really cool. You have some impressive abilities.”
“Thanks! I’m not as good a fighter as you, though. You don’t owe me anything. This is me paying you back for helping me. Now that you’re a fugitive, you need to keep clear of the law.”
She tapped at her menu, and a black cloak appeared in her hands.
“Here, put this on. It’s a Cloak of Dusk. We use it in the thieves’ guild for all kinds of cool stuff. Well, mostly stealing, if I’m being honest. It’s enchanted to help you blend in with the crowd. You won’t actually be invisible, but it doesn’t drain much mana, and people are less likely to notice you while you are wearing it.”
It looked similar to the cloak that Pan had been wearing. She put it on, wearing it over her armor. Tasha pulled up the hood and found that it covered her face. She could see how this could hide her from prying eyes.
“Now, I know that being a fugitive from the law is scary, but I’ve already taken care of your employment needs,” Ally said.
“Really? I’m on a quest to rescue the princess right now, though.”
“I didn’t even realize that she was missing,” she said, then shook her head. “I should really pay more attention to current events. I hope she’s okay. As far as I know, the thieves’ guild doesn’t know anything about that.”
“So… you’re with the thieves’ guild, then?”
She nodded. “We aren’t above a bit of light kidnapping, but we didn’t have anything to do with taking Princess Kiwi. I don’t think any of our members would touch her. We don’t need that kind of attention. It’s probably someone from outside the guild. Maybe a foreign power.”
“Then I don’t have any leads,” Tasha said.
“In that case, you’re free to accept this job. I can’t offer you a thieves’ guild contract since you’re not a member, but there’s been word on the street about some mercenaries that need to hire some muscle. They’re holed up at an abandoned tower to the south. If you’re interested, just head to these coordinates.”
She listed off some latitude and longitude coordinates, and Tasha entered them into her map as a waypoint. There was at least a chance that these mercenaries were the same people that she was looking for.
“Thanks, Ally, I might just do that,” Tasha said.
“Next time you’re in town, let’s hang out. I’ll find you,” the cat girl said, winking at Tasha.
She threw something on the ground and vanished in a puff of smoke.
Tasha decided that the best course of action would be to head for the city gates and hopefully meet up with Ari. But before she did that, she needed to pick up a new weapon. Hopefully she still had enough money left over to get a replacement for her ill-fated gunblade.
Heading toward the city gates, Tasha was careful not to be seen by any guards. She consulted the map on her HUD and retraced her steps to find the entrance. The cloak did seem to pull people’s eyes away from her. It was possible it was just her imagination, but she felt more hidden now than she did before.
Coming upon a weapon shop along the side of a city street, she entered the building. The gnome proprietor nodded at her as she entered. This was the first gnome she’d met on Etheria. He was extremely short with gnarled skin covered by a long white bushy beard and a red cone-shaped hat. He looked rather like David the Gnome from her early childhood cartoon-watching days.
“Do you have any gunblades for sale?”
The gnome adjusted his glasses as he took the newcomer in. “We do indeed, miss. I’ve got three in stock. Let me just scan you real quick… Okay, you’re a level 8 couch potato. I’ve only got one that meets your level and class restrictions.”
He disappeared into the back room and returned a few minutes later carrying a large gunblade nearly three times the small man’s height. He laid the weapon on the counter, and Tasha picked it up by the handle. The blade itself seemed to be made out of water encased in glass, and the handle looked like it was a splash of water frozen into a solid shape.
“Why is it made out of water? How do you even forge something like this?”
The gnome raised up a single finger and began his explanation. “Well, miss, it adds a water element to your attack when you pull the trigger. It should be super effective against fire-based enemies and might even be able to block some fire-based attacks.”
Tasha put her finger to the edge and tested it. It was sharp. The blade was actually made out of water that had a cutting edge. She tried pulling the trigger, and a splash of hot steam appeared along the blade.
She examined it more closely, pulling up its stats.
Namaka
ATK: 5
Level Requirement: 7
Cost: 1,200 GP
Adds water element to attack.
Namaka is prebuilt with the following spell:
Tsunami
Class: Enchantment
Increases damage by 50% and adds water element for 0.41 seconds
Casting delay: 1 second
Cost: 0.11 mana
The stats were a major improvement over her ill-fated training gunblade, which only had an attack of 1. The trigger action was more powerful than her beginning gunblade, but would be more difficult to master since there was a one-second delay.
Unfortunately, 1,200 GP was about 1,100 GP more than she currently had. But she needed that weapon, and wasn’t sure if she had anything of sufficient value to barter with.
“I only have 100 GP right now. Can I give you the rest in trade?”
“Let’s see what you have,” the gnome grumbled. Clearly he would have preferred cash.
She pulled up her inventory and started pulling out the various monster drops that she’d received. The dwarf started picking through the items one by one.
The gnome scrunched up his nose as he examined the various bits of detritus t
hat Tasha had deposited on the counter. “Thanks, but I don’t need any more toilet paper right now. Let’s see what else you have. Some cheeseburgers, slips of raw metal, some ornamental rings of low value, a ball of string, uncooked frog meat, and some spider silk. The spider silk is the most valuable item and might be worth about 800 GP. It’s an ingredient in higher-level light armor. You might be able to sell the frog meat to a butcher for a few hundred, but I have no use for it. I’ll take the cheeseburgers and rings for another 100 GP.”
Tasha decided that she wasn’t likely to get a better deal from the gnome. “Deal, but that still leaves me 200 GP short. I need that gunblade. Isn’t there anything I can do to make up the difference? What if I promised to pay you a larger amount later on?”
“Hmm, sorry, miss. We don’t extend credit, even if it’s good. It’s store policy, you see. How about that nice cloak of yours? It looks to be enchanted.”
The Cloak of Dusk was a necessary part of her plan to get out of the city and past the ever-watchful gaze of the guards. Besides, Ally had given it to her. She never felt right selling gifts right after receiving them.
There was also her phone, but she couldn’t bring herself to part with it. It wasn’t as though she was pining away for home, but the phone was her only physical link. Besides, she needed it for her character class. What kind of couch potato would she be without Netflix? She wasn’t ready to give it up, so it remained stored safely in her inventory.
“I can’t sell this. What about my iron bangle? I’ve also got some books.”
She laid the bangle and the books that she’d pilfered from the Temple of the Player upon the counter. The gnome examined the collection.
“Hmm…” he said, “I can give you 70 GP for the bangle and 100 for the spellbook. The other books are common and have barely any resale value. Besides, do I look like a bookseller to you? The fireball is a pretty common spell, so you can’t expect to get much more for it.” He crossed his arms in front of him. “You still owe me 30 GP for the gunblade.”