by Erik Rounds
As Tasha slid, her angle was adjusted by the tilt of the tower—she was going to miss the princess completely. She looked at Tasha in a panic, but Tasha was unable to do anything to help. She slid past the princess and focused forward. The G-Rex had seen Tasha and opened its giant maw, ready to swallow her whole. With her adjusted angle, Tasha was going to slide directly into its mouth. She could see its giant pearly-white teeth with perfect clarity. How was she supposed to defend herself against that? If they chomped down on her, she was finished.
It was only by pure luck that he didn’t bite her as she slid into the dinosaur’s mouth. On the other hand, that at least would have been a quick death.
She slid down the dinosaur’s throat smoothly and gasped as she was forced down its esophagus. Pressure pushed against her body from all sides. There wasn’t any air to breathe, and she was being slowly crushed to death. This was far worse than her earlier experience of being swallowed by a slinker. Worst of all, she saw nothing—she had been plunged into darkness.
Quarter hearts were slowly vanishing on her HUD as Tasha continued to suffocate. As she was forced downward on her journey toward the creature’s stomach, Tasha realized that she was still gripping her gunblade. It wasn’t much help since she was unable to swing it in such a confined area, but she did still have enough mana for a few more spells.
Tasha willed herself to pull the trigger. As a burst of steam erupted from the edge, she feel the intense heat from the aftermath of the spell. Tasha saw that it had dealt three hearts of damage to the monster. Heat burned her hand, but she willed herself to fire once more.
This time the ball of steam tore a hole through the creature, letting in sunlight. Tasha eagerly drew in a breath, and a moment later saw the world fade in as purple clouds of ethereal mist replaced the dinosaur. She had killed it! The ground became visible, and she realized that without the dinosaur’s esophagus to support her, she was about to fall a great distance.
She hurtled through the purple clouds toward the ground. Her hand no longer burned from the steam like it had a moment ago. As she fell, a tentacle shot forth from Sir Slimon, catching her and carefully lowering her gently to the ground. Another tentacle lowered Princess Kiwi to the ground beside her.
At that point she noticed that a window had appeared:
Victory! All enemies have been vanquished.
4660 experience gained. (670 experience to next level)
7200 GP found.
Level Up!
Level Up!
Level Up!
Level Up!
You have reached level 12.
You have 16 unassigned stat points.
Choose either a heart container or mana container.
She’d just gained four levels in one battle and made it halfway to the next. It was an epic fight, and the G-Rex was of a vastly higher level. It was a small miracle that they’d survived.
“Sir Slimon, you came to rescue me,” said the princess, who embraced the slime fondly. “Oh, it was so awful, but then you came to save me. I knew you would.”
She just continued hugging him for about half a minute. It was actually rather awkward.
Prince Hermes wasn’t able to meet the princess’s eyes. “We failed to protect you before. Can you ever forgive us?”
“There is nothing to forgive,” she said, tearing herself away from the slime. “The important thing is that you came to save me. I’ll always rem— Holy crap! I just gained three levels!”
“I just gained two as well,” said Aralogos.
“Four,” reported Pan.
“Sir Slimon and I just gained two levels apiece,” said Hermes.
“Due to our immortality,” Kiwi explained to Tasha, “elves have slow experience curves. I wasn’t expecting to level up again for at least another decade. How can this be?”
“There she goes again,” Hermes grumbled, “mentioning her immortality, lording it over the rest of us mortals.”
“Sorry, Hermes, I know the looming specter of death is a touchy issue for ephemerals. It’s just that I didn’t expect to make level 12 this soon. Now I’ve gained three levels all at once.”
“Our friend Tasha here is a player,” Ari explained. “It seems that players and their companions level quickly.”
“A player? There hasn’t been a player for many hundreds of years. Tasha, you have my thanks. You should meet my father, the king. He would want to meet my saviors, particularly if one of them is a player.”
Tasha smiled shyly. “Are you sure you want to be friends with a mortal like me?”
“Oh, don’t be that way,” she said, giving Tasha a hug. “Hermes and I are just teasing each other. Some of my best friends are ephemerals.”
“It’s okay,” said Tasha, “but I’m a bit confused. If people are reborn at save points when they die, isn’t everyone immortal? How are elves any different?”
“Oh, well, elves can’t die of old age the same way everyone else does. That’s why most elves usually keep their distance from the other races. The loss of a mortal loved one is more keenly felt by someone who can never die and never forget.”
“But I saw lots of different races when I was in the capital city,” said Tasha.
“Things are different now under my father’s rule, more than they ever were. My father invited all races to live together in the nation of Questgivria in the hopes of strengthening the bonds between races.”
Sir Slimon hopped up to Kiwi and returned her oaken staff.
“Thank you again, my love,” she said.
A loud crack rang out from the tower as it gave way, collapsing to the ground, leaving nothing but a pile of rubble.
Tasha saw a large loot cylinder on the ground. Opening it, she discovered that it was a large case of G-Rex meat. She smiled, wondering if she could sell it. Barring that, they could host the mother of all BBQs. Tasha couldn’t lift it, but Ari was able to pick it up and add it to his inventory.
“Let us return to the safety of the castle,” said Hermes. “I wouldn’t want to be caught out here at night.”
“Agreed,” Tasha said, scrunching up her face. “I’m completely covered in dinosaur digestive fluids. I’ll never be able to get the smell out.”
Ari cast a cleansing spell, and the dirt, digestive juices, and sweat fell from her body and onto the ground. Tasha was perfectly clean, and her chainmail bikini armor was as good as new.
“You have got to teach me that spell,” she said.
“Wait a moment,” said Kiwi as she tapped at her menu. A moment later, a suit of high-quality silken clothing appeared in her hand along with a silver dagger with elven letters engraved in the hilt and blade.
“Tasha, I’d like you to have these. I know that these clothes aren’t as strong as your armor, but they have a high style bonus. And this dagger was given to me as a gift by my father, the king. It bears the name of Questgiver, so if you show it to the guards, they will allow you entrance to the palace.
“Thanks, Princess.”
“Call me Kiwi,” she said. “I hope we can be friends.”
“Sure, Kiwi. We’re already friends.” Tasha took the clothes and knife from her.
“Pan didn’t get a p-present,” Pan mumbled as she went off with Ari to reclaim the raptors.
Tasha took two heart containers and two mana containers from her new level ups.
Reclaiming the raptors took longer than expected. Several of them were keeping their distance from the tower. Denver had kept away from the tower as well, but he came when Tasha called. Once they’d found all the raptors, they started back toward the city.
Following Ari’s map, they managed to avoid running into more high-level mobs. Due to the circumspect route, it took over two hours to reach the entrance to the capital city. But the time flew by, as Tasha spent most of the travel time recounting her adventures with Princess Kiwi, Prince Hermes, and Sir Slimon.
Finally the gates to Brightwind were once again in view.
♦ ♦ ♦
As Princess Kiwi approached the castle gates, one of the elven guards greeted her happily.
“Princess!” he said. “We’re so relieved to have you back. I’ll call an escort for you right away.”
“Tasha, when you and your friends are ready, come by the castle. I’ll have a feast prepared in your honor.”
Tasha liked feasts. “We’ll be there.”
“I’ll see you tonight, then. Guard, please escort me back to the palace.”
“At once, Your Highness. Please follow me,” said the guardsman.
Kiwi gave Sir Slimon a goodbye kiss and followed the guard back to the palace.
“So,” Tasha said to the remaining orc guard, “where can a girl find a bath? Is there a bathhouse nearby?” The Cleanse spell had gotten most of the smell, and she looked clean, but she would feel better after a bath. It was more a psychological thing than an actual need to be clean.
“Yeah, there’s a common bathhouse just down this road,” he said, pointing.
“Pan, Ari, shall we?” she said.
They were about to set off, but just then another guard appeared. Tasha recognized him by his gray skin, dual cutlasses, and powerful build. It was Mr. Cutlass, the orc guard that she’d accidentally murdered earlier with his friend’s buster sword.
“That’s the escaped criminal! Get her!” the orc commanded.
Before Tasha could do anything, the city guard grabbed her and secured handcuffs to her wrists.
“Where are you taking her?” demanded Aralogos.
“Down to the courthouse,” said the orc. “I don’t know how she escaped, but her trial is scheduled within the hour. It’s time for her to face justice.”
“We’re coming with her,” Ari said.
“Pfffpt!” agreed Sir Slimon adamantly.
“I don’t care if you come. It’s an open trial, so feel free to watch from the stands.”
Tasha sighed. It seemed her actions had caught up to her. The guard led her away toward the courthouse, her companions in tow.
Chapter 20
Turnabout Identity
It took about fifteen minutes of walking to reach the courthouse, which was an enormous building with artistic columns. From what Tasha had observed, pretty much every elven building was elaborate in some manner or another. This one sported the symbol of a balanced scale above the entrance.
They were led into the courthouse to a small room with a table and chairs. The guard pointed at Tasha. “Just you. Your companions will see you again at the trial.”
He pushed Tasha inside the room and closed the door behind her. Another man was in the room. It was a male gnome, similar to the one who had sold Tasha her new sword.
“Hello, human,” he said with an irritated voice.
“I have a name,” Tasha said. “You don’t need to call me human.”
“I don’t care what your name is,” he said, sounding extremely bored. “To me, you’re nothing but another burden on my caseload. I’m your state-appointed attorney, you see. I’ve looked over your file, and they’ve got a pretty strong case against you. Not really worth defending. You should just plead guilty and beg for mercy. Sometimes that works, and it would save me the bother of having to defend you.”
Tasha looked at him with disgust. “You’re, like, the worst attorney ever. Aren’t you supposed to believe in the innocence of your client?”
“Are you innocent?” he asked, doubt evident in his eyes.
“Well… no, but that doesn’t mean we should just give up.”
The gnome yawned, clearly bored by their conversation. “There’s no way you’re going to plead anything but guilty. The trial’s about to start, and I don’t have any strategy to defend you. Trying to get a not-guilty verdict isn’t worth my time, and neither are you.”
“Fine, then you’re fired! I’ll defend myself and make you eat those words.”
To this he just smiled and laughed. “The funny human thinks it can defend itself? If you can get a not-guilty verdict, I’ll not only eat my words, but I’ll eat my pointy hat as well.”
Without any further words, the grumpy gnome jumped off his chair and left the room. Tasha didn’t have the faintest clue how to defend herself in court, so she pulled out her phone and started streaming an episode of Law & Order in the hopes that it would give her some kind of legal knowledge.
Twenty minutes later, a knock came at the door. “The trial is about to start. You and your advocate are requested in the courtroom.”
“One moment,” Tasha said and turned off her phone.
Ability unlocked: Legal Beagle (Level 0)
Type: Passive Scholar ability (unlocks at level 10)
Ensures basic understanding of Questgivrian law and legal strategy.
Would you like to set this as your current ability, replacing Bullet Time? Yes/No
She tapped “yes” and opened her menu. She had sixteen free stat points to spend. Thinking carefully, Tasha decided to put five points into intelligence and eleven points into charisma. She had intended to spend more points on agility, but right now what she needed most was public speaking and investigative abilities. With luck, a higher charisma score might serve to ameliorate her less-than-stellar public-speaking ability.
In order to exonerate herself, she would need to dish out some triple-A-grade bullshit. Strength and agility wouldn’t make her into a bullshit artist, but intelligence and charisma just might do the job.
The moment Tasha confirmed it, she felt a bit taller and more certain of herself. She also had a newfound appreciation for how stupid she had been to attack the guards. Oh well. It was too late to do anything about that now. Her intelligence and charisma were now both at fifteen.
“Human!” said the terrible gnome lawyer. “Did your boobs just get bigger?”
“Get lost, creep!” Tasha said. He wasn’t wrong, though. That seemed to be one of the effects of higher charisma. Tasha still had no intention of doing a charisma build, but maybe a few more points wouldn’t hurt. The clothing that Kiwi had given her fit much better than they had a moment before.
Following Mr. Cutlass, Tasha left the interview room and headed to the courtroom. It was time to put her new charisma and intelligence to use. She equipped the fine silk clothing that the princess had given her. It had a style rating of thirty, which might improve her chances somewhat. It also seemed to have a scan ability attached to it, which could come in handy as well.
♦ ♦ ♦
Doguary 2nd, 3205, Third Era, 4:15 p.m.
Brightwind Courthouse, Courtroom 3
The interior of the courtroom was more like a small colosseum. It was open to the outside, and citizens of all races filled the bleachers. In the center of the circular open area were two prominent podiums for the defense and prosecution. The judge was a wizened owl-type person who was perched on a large pedestal atop a row of stairs, which allowed him to look down upon the court. Several rows of seats held the audience, giving them a view of the proceedings.
Tasha took her place at the defendant’s corner. Across from her towered a giant green middle-aged orc with a mostly bald head and a rather unconvincing comb-over. He wore a giant warhammer on his back. He would have been intimidating, but the comb-over made it difficult to take the man seriously.
Tasha scanned the audience and spotted her friends. Pan smiled meekly and waved to her. Tasha waved back. Hermes was sitting in the stands eating from a tub of buttery popcorn, sharing some of it with Slimon.
The judge slammed a gavel, calling the court to order. He spoke in a dry voice. “The trial to decide the guilt or innocence of Tasha Singleton is about to begin. The defendant has been charged with three counts of murder and two counts of attempted murder. Is the defense ready?”
Tasha took her place across from the prosecutor and said, “The defense is ready, Your Honor.”
“Defendant, where is your attorney?” said the judge.
“I’ve decided to defend myself,” Tasha said.
“You… have the right, but I don’t recommend it. Questgivrian law isn’t something for amateurs. Is there a reason why you won’t use your public defender?”
“Yes, Your Honor, there is. I’m not confident in his ability to defend me.”
The judge ruffled his feathers a bit. “Do you have any experience as a lawyer?”
She shook her head. “Oh, I’m not a lawyer, but I’ve played one in a video game.”
“Your Honor,” said the prosecutor, “the prosecution is okay with this. The case against the human is airtight. Let the human have its fun before experiencing the bitter taste of defeat.”
“I’m not an it,” Tasha said.
“Very well,” the judge said. “The court shall allow Tasha Singleton to defend herself in place of her attorney. Is the prosecution ready?”
“The prosecution was born ready, Your Birdliness. Human! My name is Borgrim Deathhammer! Remember it! My victory over you shall be quick and absolute! Prepare to face a humiliating defeat by the iron hand of District Attorney Borgrim Deathhammer! Huaaargh!” The prosecutor proceeded to brandish a small throwing axe.
Why does this guy have weapons in a courtroom?
“Very well,” said the judge. “Prosecutor Borgrim, your opening statement, please.”
Borgrim puffed out his chest and began his narration. “Earlier this morning, at around 10:20 a.m., five of the city guards were chasing the infamous Ally Cat, a prominent member of the thieves’ guild. The defendant, Tasha Singleton, intervened in the guards’ chase and proceeded to murder three of the guards. Only two of them survived her attack. Because of this human’s interference, the culprit was able to escape. The defendant caused significant property damage during the attack, and many businesses were destroyed in the carnage. Several citizens lost their lives in the ensuing chaos.
“There were multiple witnesses to the battle, and I have assembled evidence to prove that she was the one who attacked the guards.”
The judge looked at Tasha gravely and made a tutting sound. “What a horrible tragedy. I’m shocked that such a massacre could occur in our once peaceful city. Well then, how does the defense plead?”