“Oh. That’s Swift Nick Nevison.” She unbuttoned the flap, and the ferret bounded out onto the carriage seat, nose twitching and eyes blinking in his furry mask.
“Say hello to Bennett’s brother,” she told him.
Swift Nick raised his head, lowering it in a distinct nod.
A muffled sound came from Ambrose. “You brought a ferret…to a break-in…”
“If we’re done with the circus tricks,” Bennett said cuttingly, “I need to speak with Miss Todd.”
The chill in his tone snaked down her spine. His gaze was unreadable, his old armor in place. Her fingernails bit into her palms.
“I’ll leave you two to it,” Ambrose said soberly. “My partners are following behind and will convey me to my residence.” So saying, he opened the window, instructing the driver to stop.
He got out, and Bennett said to him, “I’ll be in touch.”
“Will do. Miss Todd?”
She tore her anxious gaze from Bennett to look at the other man. “Yes?”
“It was a pleasure to meet you,” Ambrose Bennett said gently.
To her surprise, he took her cold hand in his gloved one and kissed it. He gave her a slight squeeze before letting go, communicating something that she didn’t quite understand. Something that was, nonetheless, oddly comforting.
The conveyance started off again. Swift Nick, clearly bored with the domestic drama, scooted to an unoccupied corner, curled up, and fell asleep.
“You lied to me,” Bennett said.
Though calm, his words struck her with the concentrated force of bullets. He’d moved to the bench vacated by his brother, and his blank expression made her reel.
And blurt the first stupid thing that entered her head.
“I crossed my fingers when I made that promise.”
“Pardon, I didn’t realize,” he said with scathing sarcasm. “That makes lying all right then.”
“No, it doesn’t.” Swallowing, she tried to explain. “I’m sorry I went back on my word, but you left me no choice—”
“This is my fault, is it? Of course it is.” Bitterness infused his voice. “Why should you take the responsibility for your wrongdoing, your bloody lies, when I’m here as the convenient dupe?”
Despite her anxiety, something in his words struck her as strange…and unfair.
“I’m not blaming you,” she said quietly. “The responsibility is mine. I decided to break my promise and come tonight.”
“Yes, you did.” A muscle ticked along his jaw. “I gave you my trust, and you showed me, without a doubt, that you are not deserving of it.”
Although she flinched at his harsh words, she did not back down. She couldn’t. She had resolved to win Bennett’s favor, yes, but not by altering the essence of who she was.
Moreover, she’d believed that he was the one man who wouldn’t ask it of her. Who’d seen something special, of value, in her. Had she been wrong?
“Perhaps it is you who is not deserving of my trust,” she said.
His brows slammed together. “The devil you say.”
“While I did break my word, I did so because you gave me no other choice.” She lifted her chin. “You wouldn’t listen to me. Wouldn’t even consider that I might be of use to the mission, that I might contribute something which, by the by, I did seeing as I got us into the laboratory.”
“At what risk?” he ground out. “Christ, Tessa, you were traipsing alone at night, breaking into a house. Anything could have happened to you!”
“So you’re angry,” she interrupted, “because you were worried for my safety?”
“I’m angry because you betrayed my trust,” he snarled.
At least his controlled calmness was gone. She was no good at battling sarcasm and subtle attacks (which was why she’d been thoroughly trounced by the debs at Southbridge’s). But she excelled at direct combat because she never backed down.
“You betrayed my trust too,” she shot back.
“That’s shite.”
“It’s not shite! It’s the truth.”
“How?” he clipped out. “How did I betray you?”
She was working herself into a fine rage, and she didn’t care. “By not believing in me. By treating me like all the men in my life do: like I am nothing more than a nuisance!”
“If you stopped acting like one, you wouldn’t be treated like one,” he said acidly.
That was it. She could take no more. All the hurts of a lifetime came rushing to the fore, blasting her composure to smithereens.
“Do you think I want to have to break my word? I state my reasoning, but no one listens to me. Not my father, grandfather, and not you. No one gives a damn what I think and feel. No one sees me for who I am. Me, Tessa.” She jabbed a finger at herself. “A woman, yes, but one who has a mind and heart of her own. Who cannot just stand by and twiddle her thumbs while the man she loves heads into danger alone. Do you know what it’s like fretting over your safety? When I have no idea where you are or what you’re doing or what peril you might be facing—oof.”
Her words were lost as Bennett hooked her around the waist with one arm, yanking her forward. Stunned, she found herself on his lap. His arms tightened like steel bands around her.
“What on earth?” she sputtered.
“Be quiet,” he said.
Oh no, he didn’t. “Do not tell me to be quiet—”
“Fine. But if you keep talking, you’ll miss my apology.”
She quieted. Stared at him.
His expression was still taut, tense, but his eyes…they were no longer shuttered. Emotion glittered in them like raw diamonds trapped in rock. Her breath held.
“You’re not a nuisance,” he said roughly. “The reason I’m keeping you out of this is because I don’t want you to get hurt. I want to protect you.”
“And I want to protect you.” Since she’d shown her cards, she might as well double down. The truth flowed molten in her veins; there was no holding it back. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Bennett,” she said with calm conviction. “I don’t expect you to return those feelings, and it’s all right that you don’t. Truly. My love is a gift. But I’m telling you how I feel because that is why I broke my promise tonight. Because I cannot watch the man I love go into battle alone. I am not that woman. And I’ll never be.”
“Tessa—”
She had to finish this before she lost courage. “It was my mistake to try to be other than who I am. You see, I thought if I could be more pleasing, more biddable, more in the usual mold, you might...like me.” Although embarrassment scorched her cheeks, she held his gaze. “But the truth is I’ll always be me. I’m sorry I betrayed your trust, but I can’t betray myself either. If that means that you no longer wish to continue our…affair,”—she forced herself to go on—“then so be it.”
She was trembling from head to toe. Heat pressed behind her eyeballs; somehow, she found the strength to hold them back. To hold onto the pieces of herself that might fly apart if she didn’t.
“You will never be in the usual mold, Tessa.”
His blunt words hit her like a mallet. Pain spread through her like a crack in porcelain, and she could feel the tears welling. She struggled to free herself from his hold, yet his arms trapped her.
“Let me go,” she said in a muffled voice.
“I can’t,” he murmured in her ear, “though God knows I’ve tried. I do like you, sprite, precisely because you’re different and rare. I’ve never met anyone like you, and I know that if I wandered this earth for fifty years more, I still never would.”
The words sunk in.
She tipped her head back to look at him, breathing, “You like me? Truly?”
“Christ.” Tenderly, he thumbed away a tear that slipped free. “How could you not know that?”
“I know you like me in a ph-physical sense,” she stammered, “but I wasn’t sure about the rest. After all, I played those tricks on you. And flirted with the duke. And tonight you said I wasn’t deserving
of your trust, made you a dupe—”
“Sweeting, I don’t like you putting yourself in danger. I was angry, and, out of that anger, I spoke unfairly.” He hesitated. “I’ve been lied to before, and I don’t react well to it.”
His words rang a bell. That night in the billiards room, he’d also mentioned his anger being triggered by something that had happened in his past.
Tentatively, she said, “Who lied to you?”
When he remained silent, she said in a rush, “I don’t mean to pry. Well, I do, I suppose, but only because I want to understand you. So I can do better,” she said earnestly. “Be better.”
“You don’t need to be anything but you, Tessa. I’m the one who needs to do better.”
His words were a balm to her hurts.
“You don’t need to be anything but you either,” she said softly. “Although if you wish to talk about it…I’m listening.”
Just when she thought he wouldn’t take her up on the offer, he spoke.
“I courted a woman once. I was in love with her, and she led me to believe she returned those feelings. I trusted her, wanted to marry her, but she betrayed my trust,” he said flatly. “She’d never had any intention of marrying me, and by the time I realized she was using me as a means to an end, she’d destroyed my good name and the future I’d planned.”
Tessa’s head whirled. Bennett had never been a disclosing sort, and his revelations only raised more questions.
“You loved her?” she burst out.
“Yes.”
Beneath her bottom, Tessa felt his muscled thighs quiver like that of a stallion readying to bolt, and she asked in a rush, “Do you still love her?”
Bennett stared at her. “Bloody hell, no.”
Relief percolated through her. At least he wasn’t carrying a torch for this mystery woman.
“I’m glad. Because she doesn’t deserve your love,” she said frankly. “Any woman who’d relinquish your heart is a feather-wit.”
He tipped her chin up, looked into her eyes.
“You really believe that,” he murmured.
She nodded. “If you were to give me such a gift, I would never let it go.”
“Tessa…I don’t want to lie to you.” His voice was raw. “I don’t think I can open my heart that way again. That I could love that way again.”
“Oh,” she said faintly. What else could she say?
“I want you, I like you, and, God willing, when this mess is over, I’ll do the honorable thing by you, if you’ll have me.” His gaze was steady. “I would be faithful, committed to your happiness. And I’d lay down my life to protect yours. That is what I can promise you.”
Her heart thumped at Bennett’s proposal. While she might not have his love, she’d have his passion and devotion. How many women had that from their husbands?
Optimism burgeoned alongside joy. Bennett wanted to marry her. He liked her as she was.
I’ll earn his trust. Determination filled her. One day, he’ll put his heart in my safekeeping.
“I’ll have you,” she whispered.
His eyes darkened with hunger and other emotions she couldn’t name.
He growled, “Then you’re mine.”
21
Shoving his spectacles into his pocket, Harry claimed Tessa’s mouth. Tessa, being Tessa, kissed him back with a generous ardor that lay waste to his brain.
The fact that he was concealing his identity, that he had no idea how he would convince Tessa to marry him once he told her the truth (and never mind how her grandfather was going to react), that he wished he could offer her more than what he had…all worries were incinerated by the passion of their kiss.
There was only now. How sweet she tasted. How soft she was.
How perfectly her pert bottom nestled against his bulging cock.
For once, he was glad that she was dressed like a lad for it gave him easier access to what he wanted. What he craved. He tore off her jacket and cravat, burying his face in her neck, nuzzling the downy curve while his hand roved beneath the hem of her shirt. His palm covered one soft breast, his fingers playing with the budded tip, and she whimpered.
“You’re so sensitive,” he murmured. “I’d wager I could bring you to climax just by petting your breasts.”
“I’d put money on it,” she gasped.
His lips twitched at her candor. At the same time, guilt stabbed him at his mistreatment of her. His knee-jerk reaction had been wholly unfair; of the two of them, who was doing the true deceiving? Worse yet, he’d compared her with Celeste. Tessa had broken her word, true, but not to manipulate or hurt him. Her motivations had been pure, born out of loyalty and…love.
I’ve fallen in love with you, Bennett.
God, he didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve her.
And he bloody longed for the day when he could hear her call him by his real name. Still, he had her in his arms, and he wasn’t about to let opportunity go to waste. He pushed her shirt up; in the dim light, her skin gleamed like the finest alabaster. Her nipples were tight, beckoning rosebuds, and he leaned to suckle them.
Her hands clenched in his hair as he laved her eager tips. A minute later, she was panting, squirming in his lap. A minute and a half later, he unfastened her trousers, shoved his hand inside—and groaned at how ready she was. He slid a finger through her wet petals, finding and diddling her slick bud, and, a minute after that, she came.
He swallowed her cries, her shivers tightening his stones.
Staring at her pretty, flushed face, he reckoned Ambrose’s driver could circle a while longer. It was worth the risk to make Tessa come again for him, and, besides, it wouldn’t take long. For his sprite was as generous in her passion as she was in everything else. She gave him everything and held nothing back.
The thought made him randier than hell. He kissed the corner of her plump, decadent mouth. “Ready for another go, sweeting?”
Even though he knew the answer, when she whispered, “Oh, yes,” in the sultry voice of a woman who’s been thoroughly pleasured, he thought he might explode on the spot.
But he’d rather do that with his mouth between her legs, her sweet juice on his tongue.
“Lie back, love,” he instructed.
He lifted her from his lap, intending to lie her across the bench, but she wriggled out of his reach.
“I don’t want to,” she said firmly.
Not that he was surprised…but he was surprised. “Well. All right, I’ll tell the driver to—”
He broke off as she tossed her jacket onto the carriage floor by his boots. In a graceful movement, she went to kneel on top of the garment, making room for herself between his thighs. When her fingers started working on the placket of his trousers, he found his voice.
“Er, what are you doing?” He had his suspicions, and the very notion made his erection swell so fiercely that it threatened to pop off the buttons she was busily undoing.
“I don’t want to lie back. Last time, you said I could do to you what I liked you doing to me. And that’s what I want to do.”
Ah, Christ. Paralyzed by lust, he watched as she took hold of his cock. He was so burgeoned that her fingers scarcely fit around the girth, so sensitive that he could feel the pulsing of the raised veins beneath her fingers. Gently prying the erect beast from his belly, she looked up at him, the naughty gleam in her eyes straight out of his fantasies.
“I like touching you,” she said and proved it by running her fist from root to tip.
“I like your touch.” Understatement of the century.
“Am I doing this right?” Her mouth had a teasing curve. “I’m trying to recall the lesson you gave me last time, Professor.”
Hell, did she know that she’d just tapped into his erotic fantasy of her? Of taming his wicked minx, channeling her energy toward more pleasurable ends? With past lovers, he’d experienced varying degrees of intimacy, but never anything like this. Never this combination of lust, humor, and tenderness. Never thi
s desire to prolong the lovemaking so that he could…play.
“You’re doing very well,” he allowed. “But you could tighten your fist, stroke me harder.”
“Like this?” Her saucy pout nearly undid him, as did her firmer grip. “But you’re so big I can hardly get my fingers around you.”
“Then use both hands, sprite.”
She obeyed, and watching her dainty fingers pump his rod was like being tortured on a rack of pleasure. Then she leaned closer, her lips just inches from his prick, and his breath held. Devil and damn, she wouldn’t consider…?
“You used more than your hands on me.” Her breath puffed against his turgid flesh, and he gripped the cushions as he strove to stay in control. “Shall I do the same?”
Hell, yes.
“Only if you want to, sweeting,” he managed.
Her answer was to place the sweetest, gentlest kiss on the tip of his cock.
His reply was to leak a bead of seed.
She paused…then licked it off.
The feel of her lapping him, the sight of her between his legs, her pink tongue circling his engorged crown, tore a groan from his chest. Her delicate licks tautened his muscles, pushing harsh breaths from his lungs. With her inexperience, she kept him on the razor’s edge, providing enough sensation to drive him wild, not enough to make him spend. With a flash of humor, he recognized that, even in this, she had a special affinity for testing the limits of his control.
Mid-lick, she peered up at him. “Am I doing this right?”
“You’ve a native talent, love.” He hid a grin at the way she beamed, looking supremely proud of herself. “But perhaps a few pointers would not be amiss?”
“Fire away, Professor.”
God, he loved her cheeky ways.
He spent a moment contemplating how to convey the essential information. It was a unique situation. With a wench or worldly lover, he’d never had to broach the topic of how to give fellatio. With a lady, he wouldn’t try. But Tessa was both eager and innocent, and he wanted to do this properly. Wanted her to have a positive introduction to this carnal delight. Wanted to be the one and only man to give it to her.
“Remember those lemon drops I brought you?” He tucked a wayward tress behind her ear. “How you enjoyed them, savored them?”
The Duke Identity: Game of Dukes, Book 1 Page 18