by Mia Madison
“You're incorrigible.”
“I know.”
She asks me if I have any pictures of Kieran so she can avoid lusting after him. I show her the only one I've found online—a newspaper picture after some rescue he was involved in. His face is all smudged with smoke. I love that picture, but it makes my heart sad that he didn't turn out to be the guy I hoped he was.
*
On the Saturday of the school fair, the sun shines, and I thank my lucky stars that it's warm. That can only help the turnout and everyone will be more cheerful, even if I'm feeling more wary than happy myself. The day has to be a success for the sake of my future, and there's Kieran being there to deal with, too.
Everything seems to go well from the start. They have all the attractions that they always organize—the demo of the firemen cutting a car open, the chance to climb inside a fire engine, the crash test dummies, and face painting. And there are stalls selling local crafts, hot dogs, and cotton candy. On top of that, the kids seem to be enjoying the cartoon characters.
I spot Kieran wearing his full gear pretty quickly among the firefighters, though he doesn't see me. I need to forget he's even here and not give him a moment's thought. It's busy, so I circulate, getting lost in the crowd, trying to make sure my “animals” are playing their part. They seem to be entering into the spirit of the thing.
The dinosaur has started a conga line with the kids through the stalls. Teddy is having a lot of pictures taken beside the fire engine, along with the firemen—that figures. The cat is serving up hot dogs, while the others mingle among the children and parents, shaking hands and having their pictures taken with the safety tip cards.
I see Peter Beale and he introduces me to his wife. “The place is mobbed. I'm sure there are more people here than we've ever had. A success!” he says. “We brought our grandchildren. They are having a whale of a time with the conga. Well done!”
“Thanks!” I glance over at the fire engine. Most of the crew are busy showing the equipment and engine itself to groups of kids.
I notice Kieran approaching Teddy and wonder if he thinks I'm wearing the costume. He taps Teddy on the shoulder and Amy turns around.
CHAPTER 16
Kieran
“I want you to meet Josh,” I say to Hannah in her Teddy costume.
She shakes her head and my heart lurches. Is she not even interested in anything I have to say? She takes my hand and pulls me around to the back of the refreshment tent next to the fire engine and lifts her bear head off slightly. It's not Hannah.
“Oh, I'm sorry,” I say. “I thought you were Hannah.”
“I'm Amy. Hannah is around here somewhere. But who is Josh?”
“I need to speak to Hannah.” I wanted a chance to talk to her when we were alone, but if this is the only opportunity I have to see her, when she can't get away from me easily, it will have to be here.
Josh insisted on coming to help. He's a good kid. I'm proud of him and I didn't want to put him off. I couldn't leave him at home when he knew I'd be doing a demo here. I had no excuse for that.
Josh grabs my arm. “Dad, I'm just going to see if I can help with the face painting. There's a big line forming there.”
“Did he say Dad?” Amy pulls off the teddy head completely and I see her looking in shock over my shoulder. I look around only to see Hannah. By the look on her face, she heard the whole exchange. She turns around and walks away again. This is not how I wanted her to find out about Josh. I wanted a chance to explain.
“Who's that?” Josh asks, when he sees my face.
“I'll tell you later. After you're done with the face painting,” I say.
I have to go after Hannah right now.
I catch up with her. She's pretending to check out the flower stall.
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.”
“Not as sorry as me. Are you... married?” she asks. “You are, aren't you?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been married?”
“No.”
“But you have a son?”
“Yes. He's fifteen.”
“I'm sorry,” she says. “I can't deal with this. First, you disappear for days and don't want to see me, then you keep calling me all the time and don't take no for an answer and now, today, of all days, you come looking for me, only to tell me you have a son. I'm done with people who lie to me.”
“I didn't lie.”
“You lied every time you didn't mention him.”
“I was waiting for the right time.”
“And when would that have been? Look, just forget it. Thank you for volunteering to do your part today, for coming up with the Teddy costume idea, for taking me to that school, but as for everything else, thanks for nothing.”
She turns away from me and I can't even follow her. I'm being called to the demo, my only active part in the afternoon. Everyone stops to watch when we do this. I wonder if she will watch too.
CHAPTER 17
Hannah
It's Monday, two days after the school fair. Kieran has left me six messages. I have ignored them all. Now Mr. Alistair, the CEO himself, wants to see me in his office.
“I hear your safety project campaign was a triumph. You more than tripled the number of visitors from last year, and the head of the council is delighted. Paul said you did most of it alone.”
“Paul gave me some good suggestions. And the art department helped.”
“Yes, but the campaign was mainly all your own work. I know how busy my team is, and we need more people like you who are able to step up and do things. I hope you'll consider joining us when you finish college. We have a great graduate program for the right candidates.”
“I would love to join the company, Mr. Alistair.”
“Excellent. I'll get Mandy in HR to put the paperwork together and if you like what we have to offer, we'll see you, let's say, the first week in July. I expect you'll want some time off after your exams. I know I did.”
Mr. Alistair gives me the rest of the week off. He says I can spend the time until I return to college writing up the project for my assignment, and that when he's asked to report back to the college about my time with his company, he will have nothing but praise for my work.
*
I call Amy as soon as I leave the office. She is over the moon for me. “I knew you could do it!” She already has a job with a textile factory just out of town. “We'll both be staying here,” she says. “We can share a place—as long as you promise not to keep me awake with all your nocturnal activities.”
I have to laugh at that, as the only one likely to keep anyone awake right now is Amy. My wakefulness is for a whole different reason. I'm not sure when I will get over being taken for a fool again.
*
So, I have a job, the job I wanted with Alistair & Co., and I will live with Amy, but somehow, things don't seem as bright as I thought they'd be with all that sorted out.
On Saturday afternoon, I watched from the sidelines as Kieran helped extract an “injured” dummy from the wreck of a car, and I felt as if he was cutting me right open along with the metal roof of the vehicle.
One of the firemen talked through the whole process, explaining what was going on to the crowd but I was so numb, I don't think I took in a word of it. I just stood there as if I was watching the demonstration with everyone standing enthralled and clapping around me, but all I could think was, Kieran has a son. Not a baby, an almost grown-up son, and he didn't tell me about him.
At one point, I thought I caught his eye, but he looked away, back to the car. Of course he did. He must know how much he hurt me. I hope he didn't think I was at the demo only to watch him. That's the last thing I wanted to do. I'd have rather poked my eyes out.
*
I take the bus home from Alistair & Co., unsure whether to be happy or desperately sad. I look up from the ground as I approach my building, wondering if I can be bothered to start writing up my assignment today. Kieran
is waiting outside in his car.
He opens his window and calls over. “I tried to reach you at your office. They said you'd left for the day. I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch.”
“I don't think so. I have nothing to say to you.”
“I'd like a chance to explain, if you'll let me.”
I look around. It's quiet, but I don't want to shout over to him. I go over to the car.
“I don't want to hear what you have to say. You hurt me, Kieran.”
“I know. I'm sorry. But it wasn't intentional. I wouldn't hurt you for the world if I could help it.”
“That's not how it seems to me.” I should just leave well alone, walk away and forget him, but somehow, I can't. “Are you still involved with his mother?”
“In my son's upbringing, yes. Kate and I are friends, but not together in any other way. She and Josh live down in England, so I don't even see them that much. Look, if you don't want to have lunch, will you walk with me for five minutes?”
“Just a walk, then. I'd like to know what made you think putting me off for days and keeping your son a secret wouldn't hurt me.”
He gets out of the car and locks it, and we start walking in the direction of the park, but in truth I don't care where we go. It won’t make any difference.
“I know now it was a mistake not to tell you straight away,” he says. “I wanted to tell you about Josh, but it never seemed like the right time. I'd only just met you and I didn't want to spoil things. But now I know there is never going to be a right time to say something like that.”
“But you avoided me for days, too. It felt like you were pushing me off with excuse after excuse.”
“Josh is the reason I couldn't see you. He turned up on my doorstep, upset. He'd run away. I had to calm things down, take him back home to Durham. But things are better now between him and his mother. Kate told him she was getting married. Josh doesn't like the guy, thinks he's controlling and not treating his mother right and he wanted someone he trusted to talk it through.”
“And was he right to be worried?”
“From what he said, I thought he was, but I only had his side of the story. By the time I took Josh back home, Kate had thought again and agreed the guy had to go. So I think it will be all right. I just might have to go back down there if the guy starts threatening Kate or Josh. I can't have Josh dealing with that.”
“Why didn't you get married? When Josh was a baby, I mean.”
“I was young when I got his mother pregnant. We both were. But we knew it wasn't the right thing. For either of us. After my girlfriend died, I went a bit wild. I didn't care what I did. I had a lot of one night stands. Kate, Josh's mother, just happened to be one of them.”
“But from what you told me, you were still playing the field when you met me. For all I know, you still are.”
“That's all I wanted for a long time. Or at least, I managed to convince myself it was. Until I met you. I've never been with anyone since you, or wanted anyone else. And I never needed to tell anyone about Josh because I was never with anyone long enough.”
“Your family all knows?”
“Yes, that day Vanessa came to my place, she wanted Josh to help with her son Ben next time he visited. Ben was having a hard time with some of the kids at school. The boys have always gotten along.”
“I wish you had shared what was going on with me.”
“I wish I had, too. Believe me, I do. But that's all there is. My only secret. That and how much I care for you. I wish I hadn't kept that a secret either. But I didn't even know how much it would hurt to lose you until you weren't there. I knew it was my own stupid fault. That hurt more than anything. If I'd told you about Josh, I could have explained.”
“And I'd have understood why you had to be there for him.”
“I think you would, and I think you'll like Josh too if you decide to give me another chance. I hope you will.”
I look at him and hear the sincerity in his voice. I don't think he meant to deceive me for long, though he kept Josh a secret at the start. It still hurts that Kieran shut me out, but I can't deny I want him.
“Well, I had better meet him properly then. Maybe he won't like me and he’ll persuade you to stop seeing me.”
“I think he'll love you. He has a sensible head on his shoulders—a good judge of character, if his assessment of his mother's fiancé is anything to go by. He worked out the guy was trouble before his mother did.”
I smile at Kieran and he takes hold of my hand and kisses my fingers and then my lips.
“What about that lunch then? Is your invitation still open?” I ask.
CHAPTER 18
Kieran
We walk back to the car, hand in hand. I wonder how hungry Hannah is, because as usual when I'm with her, I need her more than I need to eat.
“Why don't we grab some food and have another picnic?” she says.
I stop off at the deli on the way home, but I'm not sure we'll even make it to the roof.
When we drop the groceries off in the kitchen, I take her into my arms and give her a big hug. I don't want to let her go. And she hugs me right back. I don't know how long we stand there just enjoying that closeness, maybe five minutes, but it feels so good, I almost don't want to take it further. Almost, but not quite.
“Close your eyes,” she says, and so I close them. She moves from my embrace and I wonder what she's up to.
“You can open them now,” she says.
As far as I can see, nothing has changed.
She must be able to tell I'm wondering what that was about, but she just says, “How do I get the ladder down?”
So it looks like we are going up on the roof, and I open the hatch so she can climb the ladder.
“I'll pass the things up to you,” I say and within a few minutes, we have everything up there. She spreads out the blanket. I sit down and indicate for her to sit between my legs so I can hold her again.
“Why did you want me to shut my eyes?” I ask.
“That would be because of this.” She takes my hand and moves it up under her skirt. She has taken off her underwear.
I nearly shoot off a load right there. “Little minx,” I say. “I'll have to spank you for that.”
“I was hoping you would,” she says. “But not here. I have other plans for you here.”
“What kind of plans?”
“Dirty plans. A few options. I haven't made up my mind. But every single one deserves a punishment.” She grins at me. “There are only seagulls around to see us, again. I hope they're not easily corrupted.”
“I'll pay for a shrink, if need be. Don't let it stop you.”
She turns around and kneels between my legs. “I'm not hungry yet,” she teases. “At least, not for food. I wonder what we can do to pass the time.”
“I wouldn't like you to be bored.” I run my fingers over her blouse. “You're a little overdressed here. I think I should correct that first.”
She giggles. I plant a soft kiss on her lips and undo the buttons on her blouse, slowly, one after the other, exposing her to the air. We're sheltered from the wind in this corner of the roof, but the cool air still has an effect of making her nipples poke through the thin satin of her white bra. I pull down the material of one cup and take her nipple into my mouth. “Those beautiful tits,” I say. “I’m pleased to make their acquaintance again.”
“Such a way with words.” She unclips and pulls off her bra, so she's sitting topless in front of me, and then she looks me in the eyes, laughing, her tits shaking with merriment.
Fuck! I just want to take her downstairs and make love to her and forget any kind of picnic. I suspect she knows she's tormenting me, winding me up. Part of me wants to tell her to cover up, but part of me wants her to stay just as she is.
“I hadn't planned on that,” she says. “This is what I wanted to do.” She pulls at the belt and waistband of my jeans and starts undoing the buckle and button, licking her lips. I ca
n't take my eyes off her. I'm so hard I think a rock sculpture took up residence in my pants. She unzips my jeans and my cock springs out.
She takes me in her mouth, her tongue playing up and down my shaft as she sucks.
I can't help groaning. Her mouth is driving me to distraction. I don’t want her to stop. At the same time, I need to take back control.
“Keep going like that and I'll come right in your mouth.” As she looks up and releases me for a moment, grinning, I pick her up and turn her over on her back on the blanket and pull up her skirt. It's my turn to lick and tease.
“That's not playing fair,” she says, as she squirms beneath me, stamping her feet against the blanket, so I have to hold her steady.
“I don't care about fair. I just care about taking care of you.”
I look down at her and open her thighs wide, exposing her slick folds to my gaze. She gasps, no doubt aware of how exposed she is to the sky and to me. I bend my head and take her in my mouth, enjoying the sweet taste of her that I thought I’d never experience again, swirling my tongue round and round her swollen clit until she begs me not to stop.
And then I take that hard nub between my lips and suck hard, running my tongue back and forth over it, until she calls out and comes. I pause for a few moments to let her catch her breath and before she comes right down from that high, I start teasing her once more and she climaxes again soon after.
“Enough,” she says, laughing as I pretend to move to lick her again. “Are you ever going to let me reciprocate?”
“Of course I am. But only once you're well taken care of.”
“You don't think that’s what you just did?”
“That was just the beginning.”
“I'll sneak up on you in the night.”
“Promises. Promises. But I’ll have to spank you if you do. Harder than ever.”
“In that case, I'd like to stay the night.”
I can't help laughing. I love my little rebel. Even if it's too soon to tell her that, I know it will be time to tell her soon. Meanwhile, we have all afternoon and all night.