Or what if … what if Jessica already knew that Rhonda had hung herself? What if Jessica beat me there … maybe she saw Rhonda hanging from the rafters first. Or maybe she was even responsible for her death. Suddenly, Jessica Feeler seemed a lot more sinister. What was she hiding? This had to be about more than some silly video tape…
My chest cramped, my stomach roiling as I tried to imagine what I would do, what those kids would do, if Madi took her own life. Surely, Madi wouldn’t ‘pull a Rhonda Sheckles’, as Jessica had implied. Would she?
I got up slowly, feeling helpless. I stared at the blue-black stitching on my dad’s old chair. For the first time in a long time, I wished my dad was here. Despite all his flaws, he always knew how to fix things. He always knew what to do when nobody else did.
I traced the edges of the chair with my eyes, trying to remember exactly how it used to look with my dad sitting in it…
That’s when I realized – the chair didn’t look as old as I would have expected. He’d had that chair maybe twenty, twenty-five years ago. How did it look so pristine?
I ran my hands over the fabric. Had my sister had it re-upholstered? On my knees now, I ran my hands all over the chair, along the bottom … there was something – something with weight to it – in the apron of the chair. I pressed my face to the carpet, peeking underneath.
Yes. The bottom was sagging. Something was in the chair.
Did my sister sew something in the bottom when she had it reupholstered?
I hated to tear up a piece of furniture that belonged to my dad, but I was desperate. Bounding downstairs, I found a box cutter in my sister’s junk drawer. I had to cut the chair open, but first, I set the box cutter down and went to get my pills.
Swallowing one of the tiny pills without water, I instantly felt better. There was no way it worked that fast, but I appreciated the placebo effect. Maybe I could get my life under control, after all. I didn’t want to let myself reach the point Rhonda got to, where she saw no other option than to end her life.
I went back to retrieve the box cutter and I carried it upstairs.
Carefully, I made a long slit in the bottom of the chair. I slid my fingers into the opening and right away, they brushed against something plastic. The slit wasn’t big enough, so I had to make another gash in the other direction, widening the hole.
Finally, I was able to get my entire hand inside the chair. I pulled out a black VHS tape.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The tape had a white sticky label on it, like the kind they used to put on jumbo packs of blank tapes. My mom used to tape shows all the time: General Hospital, The Ricki Lake Show, etc.
There was nothing written on this label. Nothing to distinguish it from any other blank tape in the universe. What if there was nothing on it?
But there had to be – nobody goes to this sort of trouble just to hide an old blank tape.
I was nervous to watch it, but what choice did I have? If I was lucky, it would solve the mystery once and for all about my sister’s whereabouts. Or at least give me an idea as to why she felt compelled to leave…
Shelley’s room was darker than it had been earlier, just a pale sliver of sunlight sneaking in through the curtains. I closed them tight, cloaking the room in complete blackness. I slid the tape into the VCR and turned the TV back on. But just as I was about to hit play and sit down to watch it on Shelley’s bed, there was a loud knock on the front door.
I jumped, knocking over toys and trinkets on the dresser and I leapt for the television. I punched the off button and tiptoed into the living room. The knocking grew louder and louder. Was Jessica back again?
‘It’s me, Emily,’ Paul called through the door. Letting out a sigh of relief, I unfastened the deadbolt and opened the door.
‘You okay?’ He gave me a once over, his eyes questioning. ‘You look exhausted.’
‘I am. This whole thing has been so stressful. Rhonda’s face was so awful … and Ben got in a fight today. I need to find my sister, Paul. I need to know what happened to her.’
‘Is Ben okay?’ Paul’s face wrinkled up with concern.
‘He’s fine now. Starla and hopefully John are going to let them come stay with me this weekend. Unless Madi comes back before then. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway…’
‘Were you searching for that tape?’ Paul looked around at the scattering of toys and papers on the floor.
I’d nearly forgotten that I told him about the VHS tape Jessica was looking for.
‘I did. But I didn’t find it.’ I wasn’t sure why I was lying to him. I probably just wanted to see the tape for myself before I showed it to anyone else. This was Paul, and despite the fact that he had hurt me in the past, I trusted him. But Paul the person was different than Paul the cop – if the tape contained something about my sister that was illegal, he’d be compelled to report it. Wouldn’t he?
‘Well, I can help you look. I’m a cop after all. I know how to find things,’ Paul offered.
My voice shook as I said, ‘No, seriously. That’s okay. I don’t want to search anymore right now.’
‘You could sit down and take a break while I look. Come on, let me help.’
Panicked, I blurted out the first thing I could think of, ‘I thought you were bringing pizza.’
Paul chuckled. ‘I was going to, but I thought: why not take you out for pizza instead?’
‘Sounds good. Just let me slip on my shoes and we’ll go right now.’ Going out on a date – was it a date? – with Paul Templeton was a bad idea. And the last thing I should be doing while my sister was missing, and Rhonda was dead, was hanging out, eating pizza like any other normal night. But I wanted to get Paul out of the house and away from that tape. I didn’t want him, or anyone else, to see it before I had a chance to look at it.
I grabbed my purse and practically shoved him out the door.
‘I’m starving.’
‘Apparently,’ he said, laughing. He opened the door of his cruiser for me.
‘I’ve never ridden in a cop car before.’ I slid my seatbelt on, looking around. His floorboards and console were neat. This wasn’t the Paul I knew, the one with beer cans littering the floor of his dad’s truck and the pile of poorly graded schoolwork tossed in the backseat.
He got behind the wheel, giving me a sideways smile. ‘Well, that’s a good sign, I guess.’
As we crunched our way down the driveway, I watched the house in the rearview mirror. There was this part of me that felt guilty for not telling Paul about the tape. And another part was worried that Jessica might break into the house and steal the tape right out of the VCR while I was gone…
That’s ridiculous, I told myself. But then … my sister must have been worried about someone taking it or finding out she had it. Why else would she have hidden it as well as she did?
It was possible that the tape contained home videos of our own, or something unrelated to her disappearance, just like the tapes I found at Rhonda’s, but again, why would you hide something like that unless it contained something important?
***
For a weekday night, Rosita’s was unusually crowded. It seemed strange – people out eating, socializing, all the while Rhonda’s family was coping with her tragic death.
Paul and I had to wait a few minutes before we were seated. The waitress was tall and lean, with black hair that reached all the way down to her bottom. As she led us to a quiet booth in the back, I stole a glance at Paul. For someone who had just been to the scene of a suicide, he looked remarkably calm.
I slid into the booth first, watching Paul as he took the seat across from me. He was so handsome when he was younger. Most men from my childhood had gotten larger, hairier, and older-looking – which was what happened when you get old, I guess – but somehow, Paul looked even better. The crinkles around his eyes and mouth suited him. Even the soft spray of gray at his temples was attractive, to me. I tried to imagine myself letting go, letting him back in my life �
� the thought made me nervous, but not all together uneasy. He was different now, more mature … a better version of himself, perhaps?
We ordered sodas and a large pizza with everything on it. My stomached grumbled noisily. Once again, I had gone all day without eating. Even still, it felt wrong to eat and act normal with everything going on.
‘How are you doing?’ he asked. He reached across the table, the tips of his fingers brushing against my own. When he was a teenager, he spent most of his free time – when he wasn’t partying or getting into trouble – working on cars in his dad’s garage. No matter how often he showered, he always had this grime embedded in his nails and skin, and he usually smelled of it, too. But over time, I’d grown accustomed to his smell, enjoying the scent as he passed by me in the hall. I expected him to move away, or to become a mechanic … but a cop? That was something that never crossed my mind.
‘You okay?’ He teased the tips of my fingers with his own, staring deeply at me from across the table.
I shrugged. How to answer that question? ‘Well, Madeline is still missing, and I found a dead body today, so I’m doing as well as can be expected, I guess. I’m holding up. I just keep thinking my phone will ring out of the blue or I’ll pull up to find her Jeep parked in the driveway, like she never left in the first place…’
‘One of the other detectives doesn’t buy the whole leaving town theory.’
My stomach curled. ‘Oh? What does that mean?’
‘He thinks someone hit Madeline over the head outside and then made her drive up to the bluff. She was hurt, but not bad enough to incapacitate her. Maybe they had a gun, maybe not. But somehow, they forced her to drive up to the bluff. They took her card and used it at Sam’s – maybe because they didn’t have the money for whatever it was they needed, or maybe they just did that to throw us off, make us think she skipped town on her own. Sam’s isn’t very far from Bare Border. If they were from out of town, they would have gotten farther away than that … I’m thinking they used the card on purpose to make us think she’s still alive, and that it was somebody local. But then again, some of the other guys think she just took off…’
A small moan escaped from my lips just as the waitress came strolling back up. I pressed my lips together, fighting back tears, as she sat down my drink and a straw.
‘I’m sorry, Emily. I’m not saying she’s dead, or she won’t come back. Maybe they just wanted us to think she jumped from the bluff…? Maybe they’re holding her somewhere. But why – that’s the real question. We have to figure out why.’
My thoughts drifted back to Rhonda Sheckles – her freckled legs dangling in the air, her body swaying limply like a scarecrow in the wind. ‘Is it possible that my sister jumped? Her body wasn’t at the bottom, but what about animals…?’ The thought of my sister trying to kill herself was inconceivable. Madi, who always denied feeling depressed, and never admitted weakness … but how much can you really know someone? Maybe this thing with John sent her over the edge? Shaking my head, I still couldn’t believe. Madi wouldn’t do that to herself, to those kids…
Paul took a sip of his Coke and slammed it back down. ‘I don’t think so. There was no blood at the bottom. We found nothing – no body parts, no ground that had been disturbed, no items that belonged to your sister…’
‘Oh my god.’ The color drained from my face as I realized something crucial I’d forgotten. ‘You said my sister’s keys were still in the ignition of the Jeep?’
‘They were. Why?’
‘Because the person who took her could have a key to the house. Even if the house key was still on the chain, they could have made a copy…’
Suddenly, I was grateful that John had taken the kids away from my sister’s house … unless he was the one who took her.
‘I need to go home.’ My mind was on the tape again. If the person who took Madi had a key, they could easily go inside and take the tape. The tape had to be the key to everything. I needed it to be – because, other than that, I had nothing to go on. And if they could get inside, they could get to me…
‘There were a lot of keys on that key ring, probably to your sister’s work and the house … but you’re right. We should have thought of that sooner.’ Paul clenched and unclenched his fists, veins bulging from his forearms.
I was standing up, yanking a wad of ones from my pocket. Just then, the perky waitress returned, balancing the pizza on one hand. ‘Is everything okay?’ she asked.
‘We need that pizza to go,’ Paul said. The minutes ticked by as he paid for the food and the waitress loaded the fresh, hot pizza into a cardboard box for us to take home. Any appetite I’d had earlier was gone now.
Paul drove quickly, which made me relieved, until I realized we were going the wrong direction.
‘I’m stopping off to get a new lock kit. I’ll change them for you when we get back, if that will make you feel better. I know it will make me feel better.’ I didn’t want to wait any longer – my mind was focused on protecting some blank tape that could very easily be something meaningless – but it would make me feel better if he changed the locks.
I waited in the cruiser while he ran inside Home Depot. After he got back in the car, we rode in mostly silence.
‘We should probably tell John that we’re changing the locks. After all, it’s still his house,’ Paul said.
I groaned. I hadn’t even thought of that.
‘But right now, my only concern is your safety, and finding your sister of course.’
‘Thank you,’ I whispered as I stared out the window, willing the hot wet tears not to come.
‘Did you see Rhonda’s husband and daughter today?’ I asked, still unable to wipe her face from my memory.
When he nodded, I asked, ‘How did they take the news?’
Paul’s face turned grim. ‘The husband handled it considerably well. I think he’d been expecting it for a while. But the little girl was hysterical … she had to be sedated. The poor thing couldn’t be much older than Shelley…’
I was sorry I’d asked. My stomach churned and ached as I tried to wrap my brain around their pain. I only hoped that Shelley and Ben didn’t have to endure that, too…
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Paul changed the locks on the front, back, and side doors. He worked quickly and methodically, like he’d done this a thousand times.
‘My mom used to kick my dad out of the house all the time. I’d change the locks for her and then he’d show up again, drunk off his ass, pounding on the door all hours of the night. One time, he just punched his fists through the glass…’
I never went to Paul’s house as a kid, but I’d met his parents a few times. His mom was a quiet mouse of a woman, whereas Mr Templeton was loud and boisterous. A memory of him shouting profanities at a baseball game swirled through my mind. And everyone in town knew about his drinking problem. He got arrested often, and when Paul started getting in trouble as a teenager, nobody was surprised.
‘My mom always took him back,’ he said, sadly.
‘Did she pass away?’ I remembered him mentioning that he lived with his father still, but he hadn’t mentioned his mom.
‘Yes. Never drank or smoked a day in her life, and she’s the one who gets cancer. Go fucking figure.’
‘I’m sorry, Paul. How is your dad?’
‘Still drinking. But not as mean as he used to be. I think he lost the fight in him when Mom passed away.’
‘Do you still keep in touch with your brothers?’ Paul had two older brothers, if I remembered correctly.
Paul shrugged. ‘They don’t come visit much, but we still talk on Facebook. Occasionally, one of them calls. They’re both married with kids now. Jimmy lives in Arizona and Martin lives in Utah.’
‘I miss my mom. I miss dad too, but we never did get along either,’ I said, quietly.
Paul gave me a sad smile. ‘Want to eat this pizza? I’m so hungry.’
I laughed. Paul was always hungry, at least that’s
how he used to be when we were kids. I could remember him eating every bit of food off his lunch tray and then turning around to finish mine.
‘Yeah. Want to eat out here? It’s a nice night.’ We were still outside, standing on the front porch. The summer sun dipped down low behind the trees. The locks were changed, and even though I was still worried, I felt considerably calmer now. Nobody had broken in. The tape was still in the VCR waiting to be watched…
The box of pizza was laying on the old porch swing and Paul pulled me off a slice, handing it to me on a paper napkin. It was cold, but nothing had ever tasted better. Between the two of us, we ate nearly the entire pizza.
‘I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I haven’t been eating much since Madi left. It just seems wrong, doing normal everyday things while she’s missing.’
‘I know. But you have to take care of yourself. Your sister wouldn’t want you to suffer in her absence.’ Paul placed both hands on my cheeks, forcing me to stare into his eyes. I tried to pull away, but he gripped me tighter. My heart pounded like a hammer in my chest.
His hands felt warm, like fuzzy gloves on a snowy day. I had the biggest urge to kiss him just then … to let everything else fall away, at least temporarily. To forget we weren’t who we used to be, that he was someone new, a perfect date for once in my life…
As though he heard my thoughts, Paul leaned forward, pressing his lips on mine. His kiss was soft, tender … like butterfly wings on my tongue.
When he pulled back, I didn’t want the kiss to end. If this were a normal day, and about fifteen years earlier, I’d gladly invite him in. But things had changed, there was no denying that. And I needed to watch that tape, alone.
‘Do you want me to stay here with you?’ he offered, reading my mind once more. I rubbed at my cheeks and neck, still flushed from that kiss … but the moment was over. Reality set in – I needed to view that tape by myself, needed to see what sort of help it could offer in the search for my sister.
‘Thanks for offering, but no. I’ll be fine, I promise. Thank you for changing the locks, and for dinner … thank you for the kiss.’ I blushed at that last part, glancing down at my feet.
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