by M. E. Parker
I furiously wiped the tears from my face, wishing I could say something—anything. But I couldn’t. A bit of relief poured through me when my father chuckled and pulled away from Andy. “Can you do me a favor, Andy?”
“Of course.”
“Stop calling me Pastor Wyrick. You’re a grown man. You’re family. And you’re smarter than me. So, can you just call me Charlie?” Andy laughed and nodded his head.
“I’m okay, son,” he said, before he reached for Andy’s face, patted his cheek, then kissed his forehead. Andy came back around the table to sit next to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I didn’t know how much more I could take.
My father cleared his throat. “He … uh … Robbie died a couple of weeks later. I still don’t know if it was from illness, or if he took his own life. I don’t know if he was alone. All I know is that my father, your Grandfather, had him buried one town over. There was never a funeral. I was never allowed to talk about it. My mother took down all his pictures. She cleaned out his room. It was as if he had never existed. And all I could do was be mad at my brother for being gay. All I could think was that none of it would have ever happened if he hadn’t been gay.”
He reached across the table and put his hand over mine. “Your mother was right, Son. I’ve been hiding behind the Bible all these years. It was fear and guilt that guided my beliefs. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just need you to understand. That day, the day your father died, Andy,” he looked at Andy with a sad smile, “I knew. I could see how much Chance loved you. I could see him taking on your pain. And I was terrified. I was scared for both of you. I know that must seem irrational to you. Things have changed so much now, but back then—” He shook his head. “I’m not going to make excuses for how I acted. I’m not. I just need you both to know that I know now how wrong I was. You’re not wrong. Neither of you are wrong. Love is never wrong. I’m sure you’ve figured all that out on your own and you don’t need me to tell you. But, I’m so sorry that I ever made you feel ashamed of who you are. I know I can’t fix how I’ve acted with words, but I’m asking you to let me show you. I’ve wasted so many years. I could have been trying to make things better, but I swear, I’m going to start now.”
With shaky legs, I stood. “Come here, Dad.” I don’t know how long we stood there in the kitchen hugging as we both cried on each other’s shoulders. I never thought I’d be able to forgive him. But then again, I never knew how much I needed his love and acceptance until I had it.
Before he left, I promised to meet him for breakfast the next morning after he told me he’d checked into the hotel in town. He also reached into his pocket and handed me an envelope. “I went to visit your grandparents. I rummaged around in the attic until I found these—pictures of Robbie. I thought you might want to see them.”
Andy held me and cried with me as I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried for my Uncle Robbie, who I never knew. I cried for my father, who lost his big brother. I cried for myself, for all the years I’d spent hating him and hating myself. I knew I was healing though. I knew I needed every single one of those tears.
Chapter Thirty-One
Andy
“Oh no, monkey, what are you doing?” Chance said, as he sat next to me on the couch furiously tapping on his Xbox controller.
“I’m winning.” I laughed, teasing him.
“Not gonna happen.”
“It looks like it is,” I said as I scored another touchdown.
“No way. Wanna bet?”
“What are we betting?” I glanced over at him smiling.
“Whoever wins cooks breakfast tomorrow morning.”
“Done,” I said, elbowing him. His thumb slipped from the button, causing him to fumble the ball.
“Cheater!” he yelled, as his laughter echoed through the apartment.
I laughed as he tossed the controller on the coffee table after I’d won the game. He laid back on the couch and smiled at me. Laughter was dancing in his eyes. “You are such a big cheater.”
I grinned at him. It was the last day of the semester. Summer was starting. We’d been out with friends. First, we’d met Travis and some of the other players at End Zone, and then we moved down to Wild Orchid for a few hours with Cam, Ben, and Jordy. At some point, I felt his warm breath on my neck and ear.
“Let’s go home and get naked,” he’d whispered. He didn’t have to ask me twice. A couple of hours had passed, and we’d moved from the bedroom to the sofa for a post-sex video game. I never really knew that was a thing until Chance and I got together. Maybe it was just our thing. I didn’t know. I didn’t care because I was stupid happy in love.
It had been a couple of months since I’d sat in our kitchen with Chance and listened to his father’s heartbreaking confession. Charlie really was trying. He’d been in touch with Chance almost every day. He’d been to visit several times. There had even been one day when Charlie had taken me to lunch. He’d apologized for the way he’d treated me and confessed his regret over losing my father’s friendship. I might have been more skeptical if it weren’t for the fact that my mother had told me he’d been reaching out to the small LGBTQ community in Wytheville, one by one, to let them know they were welcome at church.
I could see a change in Chance, too. I wasn’t sure if the change had come from his father’s acceptance, or if he was just becoming more comfortable with himself, but he seemed lighter—happier even. I loved it.
We curled up in bed together that night. He had officially moved in and I couldn’t think of one other thing I needed in my life to make me happy. I fell asleep, looking forward to our summer. I was excited about starting it off with a camping trip to Black Bear. What our mothers had originally planned as a quiet trip for just the four of us had turned into an end of the year blowout when Chance’s father, Cam, Ben, and Jordy decided they were going to join us, prompting Chance to invite Travis and Natalie. Natalie invited her friend, who invited her boyfriend, who invited Levi and Lennox Jones, who invited their little brother Landon. Inevitably, Jenny and Becky found out and it had all snowballed from there. I really had no idea who or how many people would be showing up for our camping trip, but I didn’t care. The only one I cared about was the guy lying next to me in bed.
I found myself lying on the couch the next morning, chuckling under my breath as I heard a loud crash in the kitchen. It sounded like an entire stack of pots and pans had been dropped on the kitchen floor. “You okay in there, babe?” I called out.
“Yep. Got this, monkey.” Chance’s voice dripped with frustration.
Unable to make the smile disappear from my face, I responded. “Are you sure? Because I can come help.”
“Nope. A bet’s a bet. I got this.”
I looked over at Cam, who was sitting in his usual spot looking cranky, drinking his morning coffee, and rolling his eyes. “Oh my god, go help him.”
I laughed. “I’ve tried. He won’t let me.”
Cam whined, “But it’s Saturday. It’s pancake day, Andy.”
Chance showed up a second later with a smile on his face. He had a mixing bowl in his arms and was whisking the contents. He was wearing my ‘kiss the cock’ apron. His hair was sticking up in every direction, making it apparent that he’d just rolled out of bed and gone straight to the kitchen. There was a smudge of flour on his cheek. He looked fucking adorable.
“No worries, Cam, I got this. Pancakes coming up.”
Cam let out a dramatic sigh. “But you won’t be able to make them the same. Help him, Andy, I’m begging you.”
I laughed. “I’ve tried. It’s not my fault he lost.”
“Yes, it is. You’re a cheater,” Chance teased, before he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.
“Oh my gosh, I was up by two touchdowns. You would have never been able to come back.”
“Can we get back to my pancakes?” Cam complained.
“It’s all good. Andy gave me his recipe. Flour, salt, sugar, milk, one egg, and melt
ed butter. Oh shoot,” he said, with a panicked look on his face. “I forgot the baking soda, is that important?”
I laughed. “It’s baking powder, and yeah, it’s kind of important.”
“Is there a difference? I’ll just add it,” he said, heading back towards the kitchen. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it should have been mixed with the dry ingredients first.
“What’s the difference between baking soda and baking powder? Where is it?” he called out.
“Are you sure you don’t want—”
“I’m sure, monkey. Just tell me.”
“Baking powder is in the can, up with the spices.”
“Got it!” he exclaimed. “Three tablespoons, right?”
I laughed again. “Teaspoons, not tablespoons.”
“Oh, for the love of god, can we get UberEats to deliver pancakes?” Cam began scrolling through his phone.
“Don’t you dare. I got this,” Chance called back from the kitchen.
My phone dinged with a text. I read it and called out to Chance, “Your mother wants to know why you aren’t answering her texts.”
“Tell her I’m cooking breakfast.”
I snorted and sent the reply to Lizzy and waited for her to respond. “She wants to know what time we’re meeting today.”
“I already told Dad, four o’clock at the Black Bear parking lot.” He sounded flustered.
I replied to Lizzy and about two seconds later I got a text from Charlie, and yelled at Chance, “Your dad wants to know why you’re not answering his texts.”
“Oh my god, monkey. Can you deal with them? I’m trying to focus.” I chuckled as I texted and waited for Charlie’s reply.
“He wants to know which tents to pack.”
“All of them,” Chance called out. “I don’t want to share one with anyone but you.”
Cam snorted. “Like anyone would share a tent with you two—goin’ at it like rabbits? I’m just surprised nobody’s preggers.”
Chance and I laughed as Jordy came through the front door. “Is it true you beat Chance at football?” he asked, looking at me with excitement.
“Video game football. Supposedly there’s a difference,” Cam deadpanned, examining his fingernails.
Ben followed behind him. “Is it true Chance is cooking breakfast?” He turned to Chance and gave him a thumbs up. “Well done, mate,” he said as he walked into the apartment.
“Pancakes coming up, Benny,” Chance responded with laughter in his voice.
Twenty minutes later, the five of us sat down together for pancakes. But not before Chance burned the bacon. And when I say, burned the bacon, I mean Ben had to disable the smoke detector while Jordy opened windows to air out the apartment. Needless to say, I was enjoying sitting next to Chance and across from Cam as he scowled down at his pancakes that were a little too flat and more than a little over cooked.
“Andy always adds strawberries and cream to mine,” Cam whined like a toddler.
“They’re quite good if you add a bit of extra syrup,” Ben said diplomatically.
“And a little extra butter,” Jordy said, snickering under his breath as he slathered butter over what looked like a dark brown hockey puck.
I couldn’t help but smile as I chewed a mouthful of the god-awful pancakes. He leaned over and nudged me with his shoulder. “They’re terrible, aren’t they?” he asked smiling.
I shook my head and managed to swallow. “No babe, they’re great,” I lied with a smile.
Chance burst out laughing. “You’re a terrible liar.”
Cam looked up at us, waiving his fork towards his plate. “Are we all in agreement that this,” he paused and flailed his fork in the air gesturing dramatically toward the disaster in our kitchen, “can never, under any circumstances, happen again?”
We were all laughing at Cam when I heard a knock at the door. Chance elbowed me. “Go get it, monkey.”
I frowned at him. “Bossy much?”
He nodded towards the door. “Go get it,” he said under his breath.
Wondering what Chance was up to, I went to answer the door, only to find no one there. I looked up and down the hallway and spotted Travis sneaking down the stairs.
“Trav—” Before I could get his name out, he put a finger up to his lips. I looked at him in confusion and hooked my thumb behind me. “Don’t you want to come in?” I whispered, wondering why I was whispering.
He grinned. “No, I was never here,” he whispered. “See you in a few hours.” He disappeared down the stairs. Before I could wonder what was going on, I looked down to find a little red plastic crate and shopping bag just outside the door. As I began to examine the crate, I heard a small whimper. I immediately fell to my knees and popped open the latch on the metal door of the crate.
Cam called out, “Who is it, Andy?”
As soon as I saw the cutest pair of brown puppy eyes I’d ever seen, my eyes began to water. The floppy ears. The short tan and white coat. He looked just like him.
“Andy?” Cam called out again.
“Just a second,” I called back, but not too loud. I didn’t want to frighten the little guy. I put my hand inside the crate and he sniffed it before giving it a quick lick. “Come here, buddy,” I said as I pulled him out of the crate. His little tail wagged as I pulled him close to my chest. I studied him for a second before he began to lap at my chin.
“Andy?” Cam sounded impatient.
“Yeah,” I said, as I walked into the kitchen, shaking a bit as I cuddled the little dog. I couldn’t believe it. Chance remembered. After all these years, he still remembers. “Chance?” I said, trying to hold back tears as I smiled at him.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chance
As soon as Andy walked into the kitchen holding the puppy, I knew. I could tell by the look on his face, he remembered. His cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink when he smiled at me and said my name. I put my finger to my lips and nodded toward Cam, who was scowling up at him as Andy kissed the puppy on the head. Andy rolled his eyes at me as Jordy and Ben jumped up to meet the puppy. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I loved making him happy. I wanted to spend the rest of my life making him happy.
Ben and Jordy were busy cooing over the little dog while Cam freaked out. It wasn’t unexpected. I’d told Ben and Jordy my plan to surprise Andy with a puppy. I’d been looking for one just like Gabe for two months. They had warned me that it would be better to ask Cam for forgiveness than for permission, but I was worried. I hadn’t expected him to be in full-blown panic mode.
“Andy, what the hell? Is that a dog? Where did it come from?”
“Oh my god, isn’t he cute?” Andy said still smiling.
“Andy! Where did it come from?” Cam’s face was red.
“I don’t know. He was just sitting outside the door,” Andy lied.
Cam jumped up and went to the door that was still open. He even stepped out into the hallway, no doubt looking for evidence of whoever had left the dog. Travis and Natalie had volunteered to go pick up the puppy in Asheville and drop him off, but Travis made me promise not to tell Cam that he was involved. It still cracked me up that Travis was slightly fearful of Cam. I guessed we all were a bit scared of him.
Andy wasn’t. Because as Cam launched into a tirade, Andy ignored him while he directed all of his attention to the puppy. Cam grabbed the small crate and the shopping bag filled with things I’d bought for the puppy, dropped them on the floor, and slammed the door. “Andy! Who left this dog here?”
Andy grinned at him and shrugged as he rubbed his thumb across the puppy’s ear. Cam turned around and pointed at me. “You! You did this. This has Chance Wyrick written all over it.” His face was red and there was a tiny vein bulging from his forehead.
I tried not to smile, because I knew that would make it worse. “How could it be me? I’ve been here all morning.”
Cam ran his slender fingers through his blonde curls and pushed his ha
ir out of his face as he sat back down at the kitchen table. “I have no idea. But I know it was you.” He glared at me and looked back at Andy. “Wherever that thing came from, you need to take it back.”
Andy laughed. “How can I take him back if I don’t know where he came from?”
Cam stomped his foot. “Andy, we can’t keep him. He’ll shit and pee everywhere. He’ll tear up the apartment.” He turned his head towards me. “We can’t keep him.” He was looking for me to back him up. When I stayed silent, he turned his back towards Andy. “Andy? No. Who’s going to walk him and take him to the park and the vet and all that?”
“I will.” Andy smiled proudly.
Cam snorted. “Oh, okay. Between all your classes and your basically fulltime job. That’s going to work.”
I cleared my throat. I wasn’t sure if I should speak up, but I couldn’t help it. “We can take turns. We all have different schedules. He’ll get plenty of attention.”
“We can help too,” Ben interjected.
“Yep,” Jordy agreed.
Cam’s face turned red again. “There is no we, because we aren’t keeping that dog!” he yelled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
I was a bit worried. I wondered if I should take Cam aside and tell him the story of the promise I made to Andy when we were kids. Cam had a soft side for Andy. Maybe he’d give in. I looked up at Andy and was surprised to see that he didn’t look worried at all. He was holding the puppy in the air, smiling at him. “It’s time to meet Uncle Cam, Gabe.”
I loved that Andy called the puppy Gabe. I loved that he remembered. I chuckled out loud. I couldn’t help it. It earned me a death glare from Cam. Andy put the puppy in Cam’s lap. He didn’t move to uncross his arms. I watched in amazement as the little guy sat still, staring up at him.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Cam said with a scowl on his face. “It’s not going to work. Your puppy cuteness doesn’t faze me. I’m not going to fall in love with you.” An involuntary chuckle escaped my lips as the four of us watched in silence as Gabe worked his puppy magic on Cam by standing on his hind legs and placing his front paws on Cam’s arms. The puppy looked up at him and let out a little whine before he lapped at Cam’s chin. It only lasted for a split second, but I saw the corners of Cam’s lips turn upward.