I did my best to smile into the camera as I set up the report, but all I really wanted to do was get this over with and return to the ground. I realize that skydiving with the army’s Golden Knights, one of the most elite skydiving teams in the world, would be a dream come true for many people. Not for me, at least not at the time. While I considered jumping with the team to be a great honor, and I was thrilled to show viewers the risks our military men and women take on a daily basis, I’d heard too many skydiving horror stories to feel comfortable. One of my mom’s friends broke both of her ankles when she hit the ground on a tandem jump. I mentioned that to the army officer who put me through a day of training. He told me to pick up my feet and skid along the ground on landing. If I did that, I shouldn’t come away with any broken bones. Still, I was nervous. I prayed for safety when I got into the plane and I kept praying as it climbed up to jump height.
When it came time to actually make the jump, First Sergeant Mike Elliott, the same man who did a tandem jump with President Bush 41, hooked me tightly to his harness. I was nervous and scared and just wanted to be back on the ground, but I knew I was in good hands. The man who made sure nothing happened to a president was going to make sure nothing happened to me. I just had to trust him and rest assured he knew what he was doing.
I never could have jumped out of that airplane on my own. My worries that my parachute wouldn’t open or that I’d mess up the landing and break my ankles or my legs or both would have kept me as far from that open door as possible. But when Mike asked me if I was ready to jump, I felt safe with him—and with good reason: I reached the ground safely with no broken bones.
Those same feelings perfectly describe my move to New York and taking the job at Fox News. I never could have made it on my own. It was too risky. Yes, I was moving to the national level, but that didn’t mean I was going to be successful. When I took the job, I hoped that I wouldn’t be on overnights forever, but I had no assurances that the position would lead to a better one. For that matter, I had no assurances that my bosses at Fox News would want to keep me past my first contract. I also did not know how I’d fit into New York. I dreamed of living in New York someday, but I did not know how a southern girl from a state where everyone knows everyone (at least it feels that way) was going to adjust to the city that never sleeps.
Doing a tandem jump with the Golden Knights meant putting my faith completely in Mike Elliott. I had to trust that he would pull the cord at the right time and keep me safe. Moving to New York, I had to put my faith fully in God. I had to trust that He was the one who had brought me here and I had to believe He had a purpose and plan in doing so. I fully believed it was God who had given me this opportunity. Now it was up to me to make the most of it.
Even though I signed my contract with Fox News around Thanksgiving 2006, my contract at KENS did not allow me to leave until after the first of the year. Professionally, that felt like a long wait, but the time went by fast. I didn’t have an opportunity to find an apartment before moving to New York. Thankfully, I found a temporary place to live for one month while looking for a long-term apartment. Friends told me that I’d probably fit in best on the Upper East Side, but finding a decent-sized place I could afford was easier said than done. The first time I saw how much it was going to cost to rent a place I wondered what I’d gotten myself into. Until I moved to the city I never realized how expensive Manhattan truly was, especially compared to Columbia and San Antonio. Eventually I found a small two-bedroom with one bath on the Upper East Side and a larger two-bedroom, one-bath apartment on the Upper West Side. Kevin and I wanted two bedrooms so that family and friends could come stay with us. I later realized that we were paying more so that others didn’t have to pay for a hotel room. That was not the smartest move. We should have rented a one-bedroom and bought a pull-out sofa.
When I had to choose between the apartments, I was torn. I loved the Upper East Side and many people told me it was preppy and southerners usually fit in best there. So I called my husband and asked him to make the decision (based on pictures and videos I was sending him). He called his friend who lived in the city and asked him. The friend told us to take the bigger one and said we would be happy in either neighborhood.
Bigger is a relative term when it comes to New York apartments. The Upper West Side apartment could hold most of our good furniture, but it didn’t come close to holding everything from our house in San Antonio. I had to give away a lot of my furniture and the rest we sent to South Carolina to put in storage. The cost of storage units in New York was astronomical. I did, though, take my favorite pieces, which included the first piece of furniture I ever bought.
When I was a child, my mother said she had always wanted a “rice bed.” These are tall, four-poster beds made out of mahogany with hand-carved rice stalks on each post. I was determined to have one one day and that day came when I got my first job at WLTX. The bed cost $5,000. I waited to buy it until it went on sale. The furniture store in my hometown had a 50-percent-off sale twice a year. My mother knew this and told me to wait. When I bought the bed, I had to finance it with a no-interest loan. The store agreed to let me pay a hundred dollars a month. I sent a check each month and learned a value lesson: patience. Fill your home with pieces that are beautiful and meaningful to you. I learned to buy one piece at a time and eventually have a home full of the items I cherished and loved. That “rice bed” is a piece that will belong to my daughter someday and will hopefully be passed on from generation to generation. It is special to me and will forever remind me of my precious mother. I will never part with it, until my daughter, Hayden, wants it. That bed was moved from Columbia to our guest room in San Antonio and into our guest room in New York. Wherever I am, that bed will always be there too.
My first apartment in New York wasn’t just smaller than the houses I’d owned in South Carolina and Texas, it was also much darker. I learned in that apartment the importance of having a window in every room. We did not have one in the kitchen or bathroom. Plus, we were on the second floor. That meant we did not have a view of the city and we could hear every ambulance, fire truck, or police car in the middle of the night. Truth be told, the noise did not bother me because it was part of the New York experience. In a weird way, I liked it. But the apartment was definitely cramped.
Moreover, the colorful rugs and furniture—lots of red, navy, green, and yellow—were perfect for a southwestern Texas home, but way too busy in a small apartment in the city. My taste has since changed. My current apartment is decorated with soft colors. I love whites, grays, and light blues. I love how New York has made me evolve. The city is big, noisy, and crowded. My apartment is just the opposite: small, calm, and clutter-free. I love the convenience of the city. The grocery store, bank, dry cleaners, shops, and gym are within a block or two. I still feel like a kid in a candy store when I am walking down the streets. When I first moved here I wondered if that feeling would fade, but after more than a decade in the city, it has not. The Manhattan life invigorates me.
On my first day at Fox News I had to spend the day with Human Resources signing paperwork and meeting with various employees to discuss health insurance and schedules. I got the keys to my office and a tour of the facility. At one point I walked through the newsroom and I heard a voice from a cubicle say, “Hey, Ainsley.”
I turned and saw Shepard Smith. “Hey, Shepard,” I said, more than a little shocked. I then added, “I can’t believe you know who I am.”
“Yes,” he said. “Do you need any help moving?”
I remember laughing and saying, “No, no, I think we’re okay.” All I could think was, I’m not exactly going to ask Shepard Smith, one of the top anchors at Fox News, to come over and help move my boxes! But the gesture was so nice, and it was sincere. That pretty much set the tone for the way I was welcomed into the Fox News family. From the first day everyone made me feel like I belonged. Now I tease Shepard and ask him, “What would you have done if I had said, ‘Yes, please show up tomorrow at six
A.M.?’”
My first week on the job I received a call from the Wardrobe Department. “We want to meet with you and determine what your taste is and what your look is so that we can help you shop,” the friendly lady said.
I was over the moon. On my first day at WLTX in Columbia I had felt like I’d gone to heaven when Larry Audas led me into the supply room and told me to pick out whatever I wanted. Now I was going to get to pick out an on-air wardrobe the same way. I could not wait. In the past, I bought all of my own clothes. I had to be frugal and find pretty pieces at discount stores or on sale. When I bought my clothes for work I usually shopped at T.J.Maxx or in the suit sections of mall department stores. I would wait until they had good sales and buy a few at a time. I thought my clothes were nice and they were always good enough for local news.
The head of our Wardrobe Department, Gwen Marder, who is a dear friend of mine, said, “Come on in. Let’s pick out some clothes.” Gwen guided me and helped me find pieces that were flattering and comfortable for my taste. I remember her showing me a cream suit with beautiful details on the sleeves. It was perfectly tailored and fit like a glove. She mixed and matched skirts and tops, and handed me a variety of colorful dresses. Each item was exquisite. “We’ll have these taken to your office for you,” she told me. I thanked her while trying to contain my excitement.
FOUR WEEKS AFTER starting at Fox News I finally moved out of my temporary apartment and into my first, real New York apartment. All of the furniture I could actually fit into the place arrived from Texas along with boxes and boxes of my belongings. Kevin and I were unpacking boxes and eating chicken sandwiches from a local restaurant when my phone rang. One of the regular anchors of Fox & Friends Weekend was off and they wanted me to fill in for her. Of course I said yes.
I immediately stopped unpacking and started getting ready. I got my hair colored, nails done, and was checking off all the boxes. Keep in mind, I am a planner. I have to be prepared. It was hard to put the unpacking on hold because I was craving order and was excited about seeing everything in its place. But I had to prioritize, and doing a good job on Fox & Friends Weekend was most important. Meanwhile, my husband started getting sick. It must have been the chicken sandwich. He definitely had food poisoning. I was trying to care for him, but was anxious about the show. The contrast wasn’t lost on me. Here I was preparing for one of the best days of my life and he was experiencing one of his worst.
I can still remember the first show like it was yesterday. I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. There was so much to do, to plan and prepare. I needed to know the news stories backward and forward, I needed a smart, sophisticated outfit that made me feel comfortable, the hair to match the makeup. Time was running out. I was all over the place. I thought, This is my big break. And it actually was in many ways. More dreams were coming true.
I remember picking out a cream skirt, cream tank top, and cashmere, mint-green sweater that tied around the waist. I thought it was classy and beautiful. I studied my notes and prepared for my interviews the night before (this was the night my husband was sick with food poisoning and we were living in a sea of moving boxes stacked to the ceiling). The morning of the show our gifted hair and makeup department worked wonders and I was ready. I sat on the set, the stage manager counted us down, and the red light came on. And just like that . . . I was anchoring Fox & Friends Weekend—my first national news show. Oh, it felt good. I was a nervous wreck, but prayed through the entire show.
Anchoring my first national program took me back to the day I anchored my first local news show. When those lights came on I was reminded of the story of Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. Jehoshaphat was weak and unprepared to fight Moab and Ammon. However, before the fighting began, God reminded him that this was His battle not Jehoshaphat’s. 2 Chronicles 20:17 says, “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.” The Lord did exactly what He promised and Jehoshaphat won the war.
I thought of that same story once again when I took my seat on the curvy couch to anchor Fox & Friends Weekend. Remembering God’s promise allowed me to breathe and let God speak through me. At the end of the three-hour show we signed off and I said, “This was the best day of my life.” I was so appreciative of the opportunity I had been given. But I had a long way to go.
Being asked to fill in so soon after I took the job at Fox News made me feel like I was going to move up quickly. Why else would they have me anchor unless those who hired me saw bigger things ahead for me? My superiors’ overwhelmingly positive feedback after the show only seemed to confirm this. One of the morning-show producers shared with me a message on his phone from our boss, who gave me rave reviews. I will always appreciate him for showing me that message. Most producers would keep the boss’s messages private. The positive feedback helped build my confidence. Keep in mind, I am a girl from South Carolina who had just arrived on the big stage—any confirmation from a boss was much appreciated. The experience taught me to always encourage others and try to keep in mind what they might be experiencing. New employees need positive reinforcement. I just knew that the overnight position was going to be a springboard to bigger and better things.
In the meantime I had a job to do. Most nights I arrived for work around seven and went straight to the twelfth floor and the hair and makeup department. I became fast friends with everyone who worked there. They told me stories about a few people in the business who had forgotten where they came from and turned into divas. I told one of them that if I ever became too big for my britches they had my permission to physically slap me back into reality. From the start I understood we were all one big family. I couldn’t go on air without those working behind the scenes. We depended on each other and we were all equally important. Those in front of the camera became the face of the operation but that didn’t make us any more vital than the writer who put the stories together or the hairdresser who got us ready to go out in front of the camera or the custodian who kept the place clean. Every team member is just as important as every other.
When I started out I truly was at the bottom of the totem pole, but no one made me feel that way. Most days when I went into hair and makeup, one of Fox News’s biggest stars, Sean Hannity, was also there getting ready for his show. At first I was more than a little in awe. Back in Texas, I’d watched his show every night before going to bed. But, like Shepard Smith, Sean came up to me and introduced himself. Over the next few weeks we’d talk while sitting in the hair and makeup room together. He always asked about how I was adjusting to the city and if my husband and I had done anything fun the past weekend. We had a lot in common and he occasionally invited us out to his home. I couldn’t believe I was mingling with the Hannitys. They could not have been nicer and I was trying to play it cool, but I was new to the scene and Sean was a major celebrity. However, I learned quickly that he was just like us. He was normal and very down-to-earth. He didn’t see himself as a celebrity. He was just trying to raise his kids, have a private life, and work hard.
In the years since, Sean has become a good friend. No matter if you disagree with his political views, he is a generous man who would give anyone the shirt off his back. He didn’t grow up with much, so he appreciates everyone who has had a hand in getting him where he is today and he is always blessing others.
One evening, not long after I started at Fox News, I was in the hair and makeup room when Sean asked me a question that would set my career trajectory at Fox News. He asked me if I’d ever want to do some reporting for his show. Of course I said yes. A short time later I did my first report for him and it went well. The ratings proved it and that meant more opportunities to come. Although I was getting positive feedback at Fox News and from most viewers, the negative criticisms stood out the most.
I was not prepared. The national level meant more expo
sure and that meant more reaction from viewers. Good or bad. Not every viewer loved me in Columbia and San Antonio, but the negative comments were not loud. At the national level they were, and at the time I had thin skin. People posted comments on social media and blasted me for the smallest thing—a comment I made, a hair out of place, an outfit they didn’t like, or the wrong shade of lipstick. I wanted people to like me, and when I started reading the hurtful, hateful comments it really bothered me.
One evening I walked into hair and makeup and Sean was there. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Oh my gosh, Sean. I’m under fire for this and for this and for this.” After working at Fox News for more than a decade, I now realize that coming under fire on social media is part of the job. Back then it was a completely new experience and it bothered me.
“Ainsley, Google my name,” he said with a smile. “The first thing that comes up is ‘Sean Hannity is a moron.’”
We both laughed.
“All these people may think I’m a moron but my ratings are good and I’m doing very well. Let them write whatever they want to write. I don’t care. I am who I am and I’m not going to be someone different,” he said.
That helped. “Thanks, Sean,” I said.
Then he added a piece of advice I have never forgotten. “Those people don’t know you,” he said. “So why do you care what they think?”
Sean was right. As I got to know him and his family on a more personal basis I realized that they had a small circle of friends that they hung out with and listened to. He knew everyone was not going to like him and he didn’t let it bother him.
With encouragement like this, working at Fox News became everything I’d prayed it would be and more. Every day I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God for calling me into this business and opening this door for me. I think it is so important to express that kind of thanks to God, not only in our prayers but also in words we will remember. That is why during my quiet time early one Saturday morning I wrote the following in my journal:
The Light Within Me Page 10