by A. G. Mayes
‘What? You went to Alice’s shop?’ Her betrayal stung a little.
‘Well, I was just walking past, and she was offering free samples. I only meant to take one because I hadn’t eaten breakfast this morning, but they were so good. I had to go inside and buy a dozen.’ She smiled as she told her story as though she had no idea that I would be upset about it. ‘I’d share, but a dozen really isn’t that many.’ She clutched the bag to her chest like a child and gave me a wary look like she was afraid I would try and steal her cookies.
‘OK, well, see you later.’ I turned to keep walking.
‘Probably not anytime soon though,’ she called gleefully after me. ‘I’m thinking about seeing if the others want to become the Morning Cookie Crew. Has a nice ring to it.’
My mouth fell open. What was going on today?
I froze when I got to the town square. It was packed full of people. I tried to make sense of the strange scene unfolding before me. There was a group of three women in business suits doing push-ups in unison while one of them counted out loud.
‘Look, I can climb this!’ A gray-haired man with a beard and glasses was trying to shimmy up the light pole.
Five people were trying to pull the bench out of the ground. I jumped out of the way as a herd of people came running down the street. Two of the women in the group were wearing tight knee-length skirts, and I saw more than one pair of high heels. My toes winced. What were they running from? I looked down the street behind them, but I didn’t see a monster or a herd of elephants or a tidal wave.
‘We can go faster,’ I heard someone yell.
Were they running just for exercise? Wow, Gina’s town weight loss challenge was really catching on. This was out of control. Maybe that was why she had been so unresponsive. Maybe that was what a happy Gina looked like. This was just nuts though. Even for Hocus Hills.
I saw Alice standing in front of her shop watching the chaos. Her brow furrowed in concern. I understood. I was concerned too. Mitzy tugged at the leash trying to pull me back towards the pie shop. I picked her up just in time to save her from being crushed by Sheriff Buddy who was doing consecutive cartwheels across the grass.
‘I think we can throw her in the air.’ A skinny guy with wide rimmed glasses and a poof of curly brown hair on his head grabbed my arm.
‘What?’ I screeched, trying to wrench my arm from his grip. Mitzy barked fiercely in my arms. For the first time ever, I wished Mitzy was the size of Willy.
‘Good idea!’ A young woman with a blonde ponytail and yoga pants grabbed my other elbow.
‘Hey,’ I said, struggling in their grip. ‘There will be no throwing of anybody.’ But it was like they couldn’t even hear me.
A group had formed now, but instead of anyone coming to my rescue, they all began to shout bets about how high they could throw me. My heart started racing. Mitzy trembled in my arms, and I regretted that I hadn’t started carrying mace with me like my mother had suggested. I yelled for help, but everyone in town seemed to have lost their minds. Hands were now grasping me and someone had initiated a count to three. They were on two when I heard a familiar voice yell, ‘Move!’ so loudly it made me jump even above the cacophony of the group.
‘Get your hands off her.’ Lena appeared by my side and glared at people until they shrank away. I was glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of that look and relieved that she had come to our rescue. I often dreamt of flying as a kid, but my dreams never involved me being thrown in the air by a crazy mob. The crowd dispersed after a few terrifying threats from Lena. Her voice was deep and commanding. I set Mitzy down. She seemed grateful to be on solid ground again. I threw myself into Lena’s arms.
‘Thank you,’ I said over and over again.
‘Oh honey, it’s all right,’ she said in a tone much more soothing than the one she had just been using as she patted my back. ‘Let me walk you two back to the shop.’
For the first time in my life, my need for coffee and food was gone. I nodded and followed her, casting furtive glances at the group that had now decided to try and lift Ralph the plumber’s red van. I wondered how Ralph would feel about that until I realized he was spearheading the group. ‘Lift with your legs, not with your back,’ he called out to everyone as they grabbed an edge of the van.
Lena talked about what a beautiful bright November day it was on our walk back to the shop. I didn’t say anything until we were safely behind the locked door of the pie shop.
‘What the heck is happening out there?’ I demanded.
Lena shrugged. ‘People go a little stir crazy after the first snow. And you know, small towns really attract some nutty people. Did you hear about the Talbots making the whole floor of their living room a trampoline?’ She stared at me with wide eyes. ‘See? Nutty!’
‘That was more than just a little town nuttiness,’ I said. Mitzy had jumped up on the red chair and was already snoring softly.
‘Here, you sit down and I’ll make you some coffee.’ She bustled back towards the coffee pot. I grabbed her arm.
‘Do I look like I need coffee?’ My eyes were wide, and I still felt a little shaky as though on caffeine overload.
‘How about some Irish coffee?’ she asked with a wink, and dug around in her purse for a second before producing a flask.
‘No, I need answers.’ I blew out a frustrated breath.
‘Whoa, is that the time?’ she asked, looking up at the clock. ‘Sorry sweetheart, but I have a meeting to get to. You should stay closed for the rest of the day, and don’t go outside again. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow, I’m sure.’ She set her flask on the table. ‘In case you change your mind.’ She winked. She was out the door, calling a reminder to lock up behind her, before I could form another sentence.
What in the world was going on here?
Chapter 18
Day 14 — Tuesday, November 15
Dear Elodie,
I’m starting to feel like my spouse is out to get me. We’ve been married for a few months. Everything seemed so perfect at the beginning, but lately she has been doing so many things that are driving me crazy. She has to be doing them on purpose.
We take turns with most of the household chores. When it was her turn to do the laundry, she started folding my pants into thirds instead of fourths. Thirds! Can you imagine? Now my pants piles don’t stay perfectly straight. When she mows the lawn, she does it in a diagonal pattern instead of straight across. It’s so aesthetically unappealing. Then, without any discussion at all, she decided to start putting dirty dishes on the left side of the sink and clean dishes on the right. When I confronted her, she said it makes more sense to put the dirty dishes directly above the dishwasher for easier loading. I had grown accustomed to putting dirty dishes on the right. I don’t like change. Shouldn’t she at least have talked to me and taken my feelings into account before making such a huge life change?
I love my wife, so I hate to think that my marriage might be over, but I’m not sure if I can live like this much longer.
Sincerely,
Suffering Spouse
Dear Suffering Spouse,
First of all, take a deep breath. There is a lot of compromise involved in a successful marriage. Try to accept the way your wife does these tasks around the house. Any sort of criticism is likely to start a fight. If you find that you can’t accept how she folds your pants or mows the lawn, offer to always be the one who does those particular chores.
Being married can be a major adjustment for some couples. Dig a little deeper into your soul and make sure that your desire to turn these minor issues into deal breakers doesn’t stem from a deeper anxiety about marriage. Maybe your partner is feeling the same anxiety, and you two can work through it together.
Also, I’m certainly not an expert, but you might want to consider talking to a professional about your control issues.
Ask and I’ll Answer,
Elodie
The air felt different today than it had yesterda
y. Yesterday it felt charged, almost staticky. Today, that feeling was gone, but that didn’t stop Mitzy and I from glancing over our shoulders as we stood in the grass.
The sun was shining, and the snow from a couple of days ago was almost completely erased from the earth except for a few stray melting patches in the alley.
I’d stayed closed yesterday as Lena suggested. Mitzy and I only ventured outside a few times so she could relieve herself, and on those occasions, she was a dog on a mission. No excessive sniffing. She did her business and was ready to retreat to the safety of the apartment.
Back inside, the phone rang. It was Lena telling me that everything was fine, and I should open the shop today. She assured me that she and the rest of the Morning Pie Crew would be there as usual.
I prepped the pies, making six different kinds at once. A pretty bold move on my part. The last time I tried making so many kinds of pie at the same time, I ended up putting all the sugar in the blueberry pie and none in the pumpkin or cherry pies. The result was not pleasant. Today I was making pumpkin pie, peach pie, pear pie, cherry pie, apple pie, and chocolate chip cheesecake. I was particularly excited about the cheesecake. The picture next to the recipe online was enough to make me drool on my keyboard.
Though business had been almost non-existent except for the Morning Pie Crew and Henry, I still went full speed ahead with my baking. I believed if I continued to bake a bunch of pies, the customers would eventually come to eat them.
I swung around in my euphoria to turn the oven on so it could preheat. I turned the knob. I expected to hear the familiar whoosh of the oven firing up. But there was silence. I turned the knob off and then on again. I turned it on and waited a minute before sticking my hand inside. Still there was nothing. No heat. Nada. I tried a few more times before realizing it was hopeless. The oven was broken. And yes, I did make sure it was plugged in. I gazed in dismay at my in-progress pies. What could I do?
I tried to take deep breaths as I dialed Holly. Of course, she didn’t pick up. Why would she in my hour of need? I was working myself up into a nice panic attack. I had to find an oven. The small toaster oven upstairs would take days to bake all these pies. I loaded the pies into boxes. Someone in this town had to have an oven I could use. I found a dolly and carefully stacked the boxes on top of each other. I pushed them down the alley and rounded the corner onto the sidewalk. As if in slow motion, the boxes began to slide off the side. I threw myself at the stack trying to right it.
‘Whoa!’ All of a sudden someone was beside me, and the stack righted itself. I looked up and saw Henry. I hadn’t even seen him touch the pies, but the boxes stood solidly on the dolly. I let out the breath I had been holding.
‘I could hug you. Your timing is perfect!’ I said. He blushed a little.
‘Just the right place at the right time,’ he said.
‘No really, you should be wearing a superhero cape,’ I said.
‘I usually have it on, but it’s at the dry cleaner’s today.’
‘Where do you live, and do you have an oven?’ I asked.
He looked a little confused. ‘I live a couple blocks that way—’ he pointed ‘—and yes.’
‘My oven’s broken,’ I wailed and started to launch into my story about how I was having a good morning with no mistakes until I discovered that the kitchen was out to get me. ‘You know what? I can tell you the story while they’re baking. Can I please, please, please use your oven?’
‘Sure,’ he said. ‘Can I help you?’ He reached for the dolly.
‘I got it, thanks,’ I said. ‘Just stay close in case they tip over.’
We made it without any more pie avalanches. Henry lived in a small brick house with red shutters. I could see the remnants of a beautiful garden and a few hearty flowers still bloomed by the house.
‘You garden?’ I asked, surprised.
He shrugged. ‘A little.’
I carefully rolled the dolly up the brick pathway to the front door. It looked like more than a little to me. There was a step up to the front door so Henry and I carried the boxes of pies inside.
Willy greeted us, his whole body wiggling as his tongue licked the air in excitement.
‘Willy, sit,’ Henry said, firmly.
Willy’s rear hit the floor immediately. His tail thumped against the wall like a loud drum. He craned his neck towards me as though hoping I would pet him or drop the pies I was carrying.
Once we got all the pies inside, I went to scratch Willie behind the ears all while trying to dodge his giant tongue. After a minute he was satisfied by my hello and trotted off.
The inside of Henry’s house was very neat and simple. He had lovely dark wood floors. His kitchen was spotless save for a dirty coffee mug and cereal bowl that sat by the sink. I was ecstatic to see that he had a double wall oven.
‘What temperatures would you like them set?’ he asked.
‘375 and 425 please.’ I unloaded the pies from their boxes.
‘On it,’ he said, adjusting the temperature gauge.
‘Now who can I call to fix the oven?’ I pulled out my cell phone.
‘Probably Bob is your best bet.’
‘Bob the snowplow and ice rink guy?’ I asked.
‘Yes, he’s also the appliance repair guy,’ he said, ‘but I wouldn’t call him before noon.’
‘Why?’ I was still poised to dial.
‘He is not a morning person, and if you wake him up, he’ll charge you three times his normal rate,’ Henry said.
‘Is there anyone else I can call? With everything that’s been going on, the last thing I need is to give customers another excuse to go get cookies instead of pies,’ I said.
‘I’d wait for Bob. He’s the best. If he can’t make it today, you can always come over again tomorrow and use my oven,’ he offered.
While the pies baked, Henry and I chatted and drank coffee sitting at a little table just off the kitchen. Henry told me about his mom who had passed away ten years ago, and his dad who lived in a condo in Florida. He had three brothers who were now scattered across the country. With just a few minutes left on the timer, I got up to check on the pies. On the way back to the table, I saw a framed picture of him and all the residents from the nursing home on the wall.
‘Nice picture,’ I said.
‘Oh yeah.’ He looked over at it. ‘They gave that to me for my birthday a couple years ago. Mrs B told me that I should display it prominently in my house because, and I quote, “the chicks will dig it,”’ he laughed.
‘How’s that working for you?’ I asked.
‘Well, so far you’re the only “chick” who’s seen it,’ he said. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, are you “digging it?”’
Before I could answer, Henry’s cell phone rang.
‘Excuse me, I have to get this.’ He walked towards the front door, and his landline rang. ‘Wow, I’m popular today. I’ll let the answering machine get that one.’ He stepped outside with his cell phone and the answering machine picked up the landline.
I could hear Henry’s voice coming out of the answering machine. ‘Hi. You’ve reached Henry Doyle. Please leave your name and telephone number after the beep and I will get back to you as quickly as possible.’ He sounded so official.
I knew it was rude to listen, but I was standing right there. What was I supposed to do? Plug my ears?
A male voice began to speak urgently. ‘Henry, call me immediately. We need to discuss the developing situation around that new woman in town. I think I found something else out. Call me.’ Click.
My heart raced. Who was that man on the phone? He had to be talking about me. Or Alice. There really weren’t many new people in town to choose from. Maybe Henry would have a perfectly logical explanation for the message when he came back inside.
As my mind wandered, I began to wander too. Just off the eat-in kitchen, there was a cozy living room with a couple of brown corduroy overstuffed chairs that matched the sofa and a big screen TV. There wa
s a giant dog bed by one of the chairs. Just to the left of the living room was a small hallway where there was a bathroom with dark blue walls and a claw foot tub. Next to that was a bedroom with a perfectly made bed. Willy was sprawled across the navy bedspread. He stretched from corner to corner and his legs twitched in his sleep. Across from the bedroom was an office. The office was the only cluttered room in the house. There were bookshelves filled with books and one bookshelf held several knick knacks. It almost seemed out of place for Henry’s bare-boned style. I picked up a small bird figurine and saw ‘To Henry, Thanks for everything, Love Maisy.’ I picked up a tiny accordion and jumped a little when noise came out. On the bottom of that was written ‘To Henry, Keep polka-ing, Love Ginger.’ These must all be gifts from people at the nursing home. I smiled a little. I couldn’t help but think chicks would definitely dig this.
I went over to his desk. It was piled high with papers. My eyes widened as I read the words in the notebook. ‘Susanna Penelope Maxine Bennett Daniels,’ was written at the top of the page. How did he know my full name? Underneath it he had written little bullet points. ‘Erma left on the second of November. S claims no contact. Pies are different. Break-in: Innocent or set-up? Spells are spreading.’ Spells are spreading? What did that mean? I felt a strange tingling feeling on the back of my neck.
‘Susanna?’ I heard Henry’s front door bang as he came back inside.
I rushed out of the office.
‘Sorry, I was just using your bathroom,’ I called. ‘I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Of course not.’ He appeared in the living room. Then he slid past me and closed the door to his office. ‘Sorry, this room is so messy. Would you like any more coffee?’
‘No, thanks,’ I said. All I really wanted right now was to get out of there. The timer beeped and I rushed to the kitchen to pull the pies out of the oven.
It wasn’t like he had a picture of me with a target drawn over my face or anything. I was probably just overreacting. Maybe the phone message wasn’t about me. I couldn’t figure out how to explain the notebook away though. If this was how he romantically pursued women, his technique could use a little revising. This felt more like stalking than innocently flirting.