by Jenn Vakey
All I knew was that I didn’t want to be sitting here watching this. I wanted to be doing it, even though the thought frightened me.
I was so enthralled in watching them that I didn’t notice anyone approaching until someone lowered down next to me. I turned with a start and saw a guy barely a foot from me, sitting with his knees up and his arms resting on them. He glanced to me with a smile, then turned his attention to the training going on in front of us.
We hadn’t met, or at least not that I remembered, but I knew who he was. I’d seen him during the meeting. The man with the same hair and eye color as Rhydian. He wasn’t as toned, and he appeared to be a few years older, but there was no mistaking the likeness.
Gryffin.
“You’re way better than that guy,” he said, tilting his head to motion toward the field.
From what I had picked up from overheard conversations, Gryffin was the rightful King of Eden. That was what made his comment catch me off guard. He spoke with a lightness that I hadn’t expected. It was almost on the verge of playfulness.
“Really?”
His smile broadened and he gave me an amused nod. “Here I was locked away in that horrible white room when some petite little brunette comes in to tell me she’s there to rescue me.”
“My warrior hair,” I said, then stilled. I had no idea where that had come from. It wasn’t something that anyone had said to me, but it also didn’t seem to be a casual assessment. Something about it felt firm, like a deep knowing.
“That’s right,” Linley chimed in, a little prissiness behind the words. “I told her it was much better than her long princess hair.”
She had told me? My heart raced, a shiver of excitement running through my entire body.
Gryffin gave me a funny look, a silent question there in his eyes. Seeing my surprise and asking if it meant what he thought it did. The only response I could give was a shrug. When I tried to follow the trail to see if it would lead to anything else, I came up empty. I didn’t remember Linley telling me. I didn’t remember any of it.
“Anyway,” he said, still looking at me curiously as he spoke. “After you convinced me to leave with you and we went to where they had Lillith, I was ready to have to put up a fight to help you get her out of there. But no… You had to go sweeping through the room and knocking everyone down before I could even try to help. You’re like a ninja ballerina.”
“I don’t know what either of those things are,” I admitted.
He smirked. “They were from the history lessons,” he explained. “Ninjas were fighters, and ballerinas were graceful dancers. You didn’t even have to use your abilities, and you were outnumbered what, four to one?” His eyes flicked to Linley just briefly, enough to remind me that this was something I was actually supposed to know. Assuming he was telling the truth, I nodded.
Gryffin turned back toward the field, watching his brother. “Rhydian said you picked it up faster than anyone he’s ever seen.”
I had? I tried to envision the event Gryffin was talking about, but I couldn’t picture it. I didn’t feel strong. I couldn’t even picture myself being brave enough to walk into a room with four people I was supposed to fight, let alone being able to accomplish that single handedly. But I knew he wasn’t lying.
It made my head spin.
“That’s why I want her to teach me,” Linley said, cheerfully unaware of how overwhelmed I suddenly felt.
When she became so drawn into watching them that she actually crawled forward a few feet, Gryffin took advantage of her distraction and leaned toward me. Speaking in a hushed tone, he asked, “Warrior hair, huh?”
“I guess so,” I said with another shrug. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. With no actual memory behind it, I wondered if it was something similar to muscle memory. Like maybe it had been my instant reaction anytime someone mentioned my hair, and my mind just reacted.
I just didn’t know.
My thoughts were cut short by a twinge of discomfort, which evolved over the next few seconds into a cramp. Apparently I had pushed myself too hard, admittedly doing more than just the short walk Noella had recommended. So I excused myself, making sure that Gryffin had Linley, then turned and walked into the dorm. I considered just going into my room to lie down, but decided instead on a shower.
When I started to peel my clothes off, something caught my eye. Blood.
With how uncertain everything in my life was, I hadn’t expected the wave of sadness the sight would bring me. The realization of what it meant. Noella had said there was a good chance that I had suffered too much damage during the blast. She had apparently been correct. But there wasn’t any relief there. Maybe it was that part of myself that was buried down too deep for me to find. The part that knew Rhydian and wanted that life with him.
The real Leeya, who felt nothing but the loss of what could have been.
All of the tears that I had refused to let out since first waking up broke free and joined the water in the shower as it poured down over me.
✽✽✽
After my breakdown in the shower, I pulled my clothes back on and walked out into the dorm. It was quiet, thankfully. Even though I knew what everyone had been saying about camp being crowded now, there wasn’t anyone in the hall as I walked toward my room and closed the door.
I grabbed the first things I saw out of my dresser and changed into them. I would need to remember to take clean clothes with me in the future when I showered. Before closing the drawer, though, something else caught my eye. Everything was folded, but there was a part of me that just knew the stack on the opposite side that I had grabbed my stuff from wasn’t mine.
I slid my fingers over the grey fabric of the first item, then pulled it out. It opened up in my hands, revealing a long sleeved shirt that was much larger than what I was wearing.
Rhydian’s.
Closing my eyes, I brought it toward my face and pressed my nose against it. Even though I could tell it was clean, there was a faint underlying scent to it. One that sent a wave of comfort through my entire body. It made me feel safe. It was confusing, but I wanted to trust it. To believe that it meant that maybe I really hadn’t lost everything after all.
I needed to know. I needed to talk to the one person who might be able to give me answers.
I returned the shirt to the dresser, then walked back out of the dorm. A couple people glanced toward me, but most just went about their business. There were a few groups moving about. New people being shown around. Others were carrying baskets of clothes. Delivering them to people who needed them?
Rhydian was standing near the large building the meeting had been held in. Where we had eaten. There was a woman around our age with him. I remembered her from lunch, with her black hair and eyes. I think her name was Joury.
Something about seeing the two of them standing there kept me from looking away. It was a feeling of discomfort. I didn’t know if it was another one of those sensations that was pushing through from before, or if it was something new. Either way, I ended up stopping and staring at them. Watching them.
Rhydian was standing much like he usually did, with his arms folded across his chest as he talked to her. She nodded at whatever he said, then took a step closer to him. So close that after she flipped her hair back over her shoulder, she reached out and rested her hand down on his arm. Touching him.
My insides twisted, my fists clenching before I could stop them. Why was she touching him? Why was he just standing there letting her? The sight angered me, confused me. Was there something going on between them? Was that why he didn’t want to tell anyone about us? Or was he just keeping his options open in case I never remembered him?
All I knew for sure was that I didn’t like it. I might not remember him, but that didn’t stop the possessiveness that I felt.
Forcing myself to turn away, I walked back to the clinic. I needed to talk to Noella. Maybe she could explain to me what was going on. If not with Rhydian, she could hopefully sti
ll let me know if the sensations I had been having were something triggered from my past life.
“Leeya,” she said with a smile when I walked through the door.
She was standing in the room I had been in before, sifting through a box. At my entrance, she pushed it aside and turned her full attention to me.
“How are you feeling?”
I looked around the room, uncomfortable with what I knew I needed to say first. Rhydian had called her a Healer, and he had also said that I worked with her. That must have meant that we were close. She was also the one person that actually did need to know.
“I’m bleeding,” I pushed out, then made myself look at her again.
Noella gave me a sad smile. “I guess you weren’t sleeping after all.” I shook my head. She sighed heavily and nodded, folding her arms and leaning back against the bed. “Like I told Rhydian, you suffered a lot of damage in the blast. This wasn’t unexpected, but I know that doesn’t make it easier. Would you like me to tell him?”
I considered for a moment agreeing to it. It wasn’t a conversation I even knew how to start with him. I also didn’t want to see any more sadness on the faces of the people I knew. Or who at least knew me. But then I thought about what Gryffin had said about how I had charged into a room full of enemies. How Rhydian had said I had risked my life going back for him.
The Leeya I used to be wasn’t a coward.
“Not unless he asks,” I answered. “I should be the one to tell him. I’m just hoping to get my memories back before that happens. I did remember something. I think.” I thought about how best to explain it, then just told her what I knew. “I said something, but I don’t have the memories behind it. Does that make sense?”
Noella straightened. “What was it?”
“Gryffin said something about my hair, and I said it was my warrior hair. Apparently it was something Linley told me. From before.”
“That’s good,” Noella smiled encouragingly. “Chances are that things you’re familiar with will start to trigger more memories. I know it’s difficult, but you just need to be patient. Your mind needs to heal just like your body does. I’m optimistic.”
Instead of going to the dorm when I left the clinic, I turned and walked back the way Rhydian had taken Linley and me earlier. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be alone, but that was exactly what I needed. I didn’t want to be around anyone. I needed to think.
It wasn’t difficult to find the spot again. It helped when all I needed to do was follow the sound of the waterfall. To my relief, Rhydian wasn’t there. Until I could get my head on straight, it probably wasn’t the best idea to be alone with him. Especially with the lingering questions I had about whatever was going on between him and Joury. I had considered asking Noella about it, but it just didn’t feel right.
I climbed up onto the platform that had been built and sat down, staring out at the waterfall ahead. This really was a beautiful spot. The sound of the water was soothing, and I liked that it was away from the bustle of camp. Sitting here, I could actually pretend for a minute that I was alone in the wilderness. Secluded and safe.
That was until the sound of leaves crunching made me aware that someone was approaching.
Closing my eyes, I readied myself to put on a calm face. A mask to keep Rhydian from asking any questions that I wasn’t ready to answer. When I turned around to face him, though, he wasn’t there. Instead, there was a woman with bright red, curly hair. Not someone I had met before, but the hair made me wonder if she was related to Aarys.
“Sorry,” she said warmly when her eyes found me. “I didn’t know anyone would be out here. With everything a little crazy right now, I wanted to get away for a bit. This was always my favorite place to come.”
“I can relate,” I responded.
She nodded as she took me in, then looked between the building supplies and the platform I was sitting on. She looked surprised. Then she blinked the look away and met my eye again.
“We haven’t met,” she stated. “I’m Maizie.”
“Leeya.” Then I took in everything she had said, confusion growing. “Sorry, my memory isn’t what it used to be. You’ve been here before? But not since I’ve been here?”
Comprehension hit her expression, then she turned away and looked toward the river. It was good to know I wasn’t the only one uncomfortable with my new found existence. “Yeah, I heard about that. It must be frustrating not to remember anything.” Putting it mildly. “And yes. I came here years ago with my future husband. Sentry grabbed me on one of the trips we took into Eden.”
“I’m sorry.”
Maizie shrugged. “I won’t pretend it was easy. I knew I had someone who would be waiting for me, so it kept me going. Now I’m back, and I get the chance to have the life I’d always dreamed about with him. I have you to thank for that. You were the one leading the team that went in to get us out.”
All I could do was nod at that. It was what everyone had been telling me, but it still seemed so unreal.
“Well, I won’t bother you anymore,” she said with a smile. “I should probably grab a room in the dorm before all of the good ones are taken. Besides, it’s almost dinner time.”
Not wanting to have to hold a conversation, I waited until after Maizie was out of sight before following slowly after. I didn’t have anything else I needed to be doing, so I went straight to the dining hall and grabbed myself a plate. Aarys was already seated at the same table we had eaten lunch at. I had just placed my plate down across from her when Joury joined.
I tried to give my politest smile, but those questions still lingered. Ones I knew I couldn’t just ask her.
“What did you do today, Leeya?” she asked.
Saw the house Rhydian was building for us to share. Talked to our relatives about the fact that we were apparently planning on getting married. Saw you touching him.
“I watched some training.”
“How long before you can get back to it?” Aarys asked. “I think everyone’s feeling the loss of you not being out there. You’ve had all of us out there working overtime the past couple weeks. It was probably why the raid ended up being so successful. All of our fighters are in top shape now.”
Joury nodded her agreement, but before I could answer, I saw their attention move to something behind me. Joury’s face paled, and Aarys’ smile fell away as shock settled in.
“Is that Maizie?”
I glanced back, and sure enough, the redhead from the waterfall had just walked in. Given her shock, I could only assume my assumption about her being related to Aarys was wrong.
“Where the hell did she come from?” Joury asked.
I turned to face them again, surprised by the look I found on Joury's face. She looked less than thrilled. In fact, she almost looked upset by the girl’s presence.
“She was being held with the people we rescued from Eden,” I told them. “She said she used to live here. That she had been grabbed while on a mission before I got here.”
Aarys nodded, her eyes still on Maizie. “Yeah, but we thought she was dead. Rhydian told everyone she had been killed.” She shifted uneasily as her focus turned to me. “Does he know she's here?”
There was a heaviness to the question that actually gave me pause. As did the fact that she was asking me, like I would be the one to know if he did. Rhydian's words from earlier came back to me. He had said that there was one person I'd trusted and had told about us. The way she was looking at me left me fairly certain she had been that person. But that didn't explain the weight of the question itself.
“I'm not sure,” I answered.
“I just hope she isn't in a room next to mine,” Joury said. She looked down and stabbed her fork into her meat, all of the lightness from before gone. “That's not anything I want to have to spend the night listening to.”
Aarys groaned and closed her eyes, but she didn't respond. Clearly I was missing something. I already had enough on my plate to ask about it. Neither girl lo
oked happy with whatever was going on, so I decided it was best if I just didn't know.
Rhydian walked over as the table started to fill and took the open seat next to me. Lillith gave me a smile as they passed, but she and Paxton continued to the next table to join Dallin. I wondered if I should have considered sitting with them, but Dallin didn’t appear to be bothered when he looked up and smiled himself. We hadn’t talked much, but like Rhydian, he had made it clear he wasn’t going to push me. He’d said he was just happy to be here where he knew I was safe.
“How are the projects going?” Aarys asked Rhydian.
“So far everyone is pulling their weight, which is going to help. The garden is a priority, and we should be ready to start planting in it tomorrow. As long as we don’t have a surprise cold front come in this week, we’ll have the winter housing completed and in place before we run into any issues.”