“Any questions?” Natalie ended her speech and stood, the loose dress she wore swirling around her, dwarfing the curves I knew were underneath. My hands itched to feel them again, to grip her around the waist and pull her against me.
I shook my head again, the hangover headache pressing behind my eyes as I did so and breaking my errant thoughts.
“I don’t think so,” Nathan answered, then turned to us. “What do you guys think?”
We all shook our heads. I had no idea what she even spoke about because I hadn’t been paying attention, but I wasn’t going to let on. They would tell me later.
“Good. I’ll have the papers drawn up to sign and send them to you by tonight.” Natalie nodded in our direction before turning on her heel and marching to the doors.
She was trying to flee because she didn’t want to talk to me, but I wasn’t going to let her off the hook so easily. Not after the way she left everything the last time we were together.
“Natalie?” Christopher Livingston called after his daughter, irritation evident in his voice. “I’m so sorry for my daughter’s hasty retreat,” he said, giving Natalie’s back a frown as she departed the room.
The guys waved it off and he, Nathan, Todd, and Rob began a discussion about our upcoming show. I knew this was my only chance to chase after her before we left.
“Excuse me,” I said as I retreated to the door, not waiting to see if they acknowledged that I spoke.
I trailed her down the hall and paused as she stopped in front of another door, this set opaque white, before pulling it open and stepping into the room. Approaching slowly, I gave a slight knock to let her know I was there before standing in the doorframe.
“You can’t be here,” she snapped when she saw me.
Something was wild behind her eyes. Fear? Anxiety? Whatever it was it made me stop short of entering for a moment.
“I just wanted to talk to you for a minute.” I didn’t really know what to say to her, but I knew I couldn’t let her get away this time.
“No. No. They can’t see you here.” She was shaking her head rapidly as she sank into the chair behind her desk and rested her hands on her stomach, which she quickly removed and placed on top of her desk awkwardly.
“Who?” The way she was acting made no sense. “No one knows about us.”
She shook her head again. “Rhys, I told you I couldn’t do this. I meant it. Please leave.”
Her voice broke on the last word and something about the desperation in her eyes made me back up towards the door.
I held up my hands in surrender. “Okay, fine. I’ll go. But I still want to talk. Can you meet me tonight at seven at the Garden after our sound check?”
Natalie let out a heavy sigh, blinking her eyes rapidly. “I…” she began, but swallowed the word back before starting over. “Okay. I’ll meet you at seven. But I’m transferring the PR account to one of my associates.”
I nodded, masking the disappointment I felt at her words. “I’ll see you at seven.”
Our eyes met as I backed away. I didn’t want to go, didn’t want to look away from her, but knew if I wasn’t going to scare her away completely, I had to back off. Natalie was spooked by my presence here and I had to tread carefully. Everything I promised myself the night before, the weeks before, about staying away from her while I was in New York, about forgetting about the time we spent together, flew out the window. I didn’t want to forget and I didn’t want to walk away. But I wouldn’t push her anymore until tonight.
Without saying anything else, I walked out of the room. Tonight, we would figure it out.
9
Natalie
Rhys Beckett.
His name echoed through my head the rest of the day. While I dumped their account on Jason, one of our junior publicists. While I picked at my lunch. While I stared out the window in my office for thirty minutes and didn’t get any work done. My day was shot after Weighted Armor left. The only thing, person, I could think about was Rhys.
How had I missed his name on the paperwork? After they left, I went over every set of correspondence Todd Harper and I had the whole last month. Rhys’s name was everywhere and yet somehow, I missed it.
Nausea gripped me for the first time in over a month, and I knew it had nothing to do with morning sickness. Had he seen my belly? Could he tell I was pregnant? Everyone at work knew because after I broke the news to my dad the month before, I announced it to my office so there were no surprises. I was stupid to put my hands on my belly while he was in my office because his eyes went right to my growing bump. It wasn’t big—in the mornings, it was barely noticeable at all—but it was there.
I paced around my large office, my eyes focused on nothing as I moved around, my stomach in knots. He couldn’t find out. He couldn’t. It would ruin everything. Agreeing to meet him was a mistake but at the time, I only wanted to get him out of my office. Now I had to see him again. Tonight.
I plopped into my chair and put my head between my knees to calm my breathing, which was erratic and bordering on hyperventilating.
“Oh, I’ll come back.” Jessica startled me from my doubled over position in the chair, and I popped back up like a spring, into a regular sitting position.
“No, Jessica. It’s fine. What do you need?” I tried to make my voice even as I spoke, but it wavered slightly. I hoped she didn’t notice I was unraveling at the seams right before her very eyes.
“I, uh, Jason wants to know why you’re giving him one of your big new accounts. He said he will take it, but wasn’t sure if there was a problem with the musicians because it wasn’t the type of account you would usually give him.” She was eyeing me with suspicion as she spoke and I schooled my face to be more neutral under her scrutiny.
“No. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with them. I have so much on my plate right now, with my accounts and the pregnancy”—I tried to hide the wince at my own words before continuing—“and I think he’s more than capable of handling the account.”
Jessica nodded. “Okay, I’ll let him know.”
She backed out of the office, her eyes not leaving me until she was all the way out the door. Ever since she found out about my pregnancy before anyone else all on her own, I didn’t underestimate Jessica. Though, to her benefit, she had yet to rub it in my face and had even been less snarky with me lately.
I powered through the rest of the day, my mind wandering to Rhys on several occasions before I would scold my own brain to shut it down. I stayed at the office until everyone left, waiting until after six to even try to leave, so no one would be around to ask me where I was going. I didn’t want to lie but I couldn’t tell anyone I was meeting Rhys. The whole thing would raise suspicion. My dad couldn’t find out, no one could.
I made my way through the dim and deserted office to the elevator, lost in thought and brooding.
“You’re still here?” Jessica’s voice came from behind me where I stood waiting for the elevator, and just like earlier I jumped, pivoting around to face her.
“Jessica, what are you still doing here? You weren’t at your desk.” I wracked my brain for excuses to make up about the rest of my evening before she answered me.
“I was in the kitchen, rinsing out my containers from lunch. I actually stayed behind to help Jason with his new accounts.” A slight flush crept up her cheeks as she said it, and I wondered if something was going on with her and Jason.
“Oh, okay. Thank you.” The elevator arrived just then, and I stepped in quickly as she trailed behind me.
Surprise lit her face as she turned to me after pressing the button for the ground floor. It must have been because I thanked her. Being friendly and gracious with my staff wasn’t something I was known for. I wasn’t a tyrant, but I also didn’t coddle them. Jessica and I always butted heads, though recently there was an unspoken kind of truce happening and I wasn’t sure why.
“Oh, yeah, it’s no problem.” She waved it away before opening her mouth to say somet
hing else but closed it promptly.
We rode the rest of the way to the lobby in silence but surprisingly, it was companionable and not awkward. Jessica had been my assistant for the last three years, starting fresh from college with her own degree in PR. I suddenly contemplated if she was helping Jason not because they were seeing each other, but because she was trying to get ahead at the company. By the time the doors opened, a question formulated in my mind and I turned to Jessica as we walked out the double doors to the sidewalk.
“How would you like to work with Jason on the Weighted Armor account?”
Jessica froze on the sidewalk, forcing people who were milling around us to have to sidestep her and toss nasty looks our way. But she didn’t notice, only stared at me with confusion.
“What do you mean?” Her voice was high, as if she knew what I meant but didn’t believe it.
“Since you’ve been helping him anyway, why don’t you work with him on the account? This way, you can get some more experience doing actual PR instead of assistant work, and maybe while I’m out on maternity leave, you can even take over some of my accounts for me.”
Jessica’s eyes grew wide and her mouth hung open like a fish. “Why are you doing this?” she asked. I could hear the doubt in her voice, the way she thought I may be tricking her or trapping her in some way. The thought hurt, a bard puncturing the soft spot I apparently did have in my otherwise cold heart. But I didn’t blame her for it. This was a bed of my own making.
“Because you’ve really stepped up these last few months, picking up my slack and helping the interns and junior associates when they needed it, when you didn’t have to. I see a lot of potential for you in the company for the future, and I don’t mean as an assistant.”
Without warning, Jessica lunged at me, wrapping me in tight hug. It made me slightly uncomfortable because I wasn’t a mushy person, but I didn’t begrudge her the response.
“I’m so sorry for my reaction,” she said with an anxious chuckle. “I never thought you would give me this opportunity when I took the job.”
I nodded, not blaming her for that comment either. “Maybe the pregnancy is making me soft,” I said with a slight laugh.
She laughed again, with less anxiety in her voice this time. “Thank you for the opportunity. I won’t let you down.”
“You better not.” I tried to say the words with conviction to gain back some of my edge, but I didn’t think Jessica was fooled at this point.
My car pulled up then, distracting me while also reminding me about the meeting with Rhys in just over a half hour. I waved goodbye to Jessica as she walked away, before slipping into the car.
Davis was back because my other driver was reducing his hours due to his new baby. Once I would have had an issue with the time off, mumbling about people with children thinking their time was more important than the rest of ours but now, with my own child on the way in a few months, I gladly let him have the time. Besides, Davis was reliable and kept to himself. I needed all the discretion I could get at this point.
“Are we heading home tonight, Miss Livingston?” Davis asked me, without turning around.
“No, Davis. Please take me to Madison Square Garden.”
It may have been my imagination, but I swore I saw his eyebrow rise at my request. I was paranoid. Davis didn’t care where the hell I went.
Traffic was awful at this time of night on a Friday, and I felt myself grow impatient as the time on my watch ticked closer to seven thirty, and we still didn’t reach our destination.
I finally lowered the partition. “Is there any way around this, Davis?”
“I’m sorry, Miss Livingston. There seems to be an accident of some sort blocking the road. There isn’t any way around it from this point.”
I sighed and sat back against the seat. Why I was in such a rush to meet with a man I never wanted to see again, I didn’t understand. Meeting with Rhys, after all these months, would turn my life upside down when I was finally getting myself back together. The thought of him finding out about the pregnancy, that the baby I’m carrying was his, made me shiver. He could never know. Maybe this little holdup with traffic was the universe’s way of telling me to turn around, to go back and never see Rhys again.
I leaned forward, not even looking out the window at my surroundings, to tell Davis to turn around and bring me home when the partition lowered.
“We’re here, Miss Livingston,” Davis said.
I cringed; it was too late. “Thank you, Davis.”
He pulled up to the curb and stopped, exiting the car to open my door. I stepped out gracefully, tucking my dress around me while simultaneously pulling my coat closed to cover the little bulge in my abdomen. I spent fifteen minutes in my office, staring in the mirror of my bathroom at my bump to make sure it wasn’t visible under my dress. For once, I was grateful for the wide, shapeless shift I chose to wear to work this morning when none of my regular pants would snap closed. It camouflaged my growing belly and with the bulk of my winter coat, I was certain I could hide it for the short time Rhys and I would be together.
Before Davis got back into the car to leave, I turned to him. “Can you wait here for about thirty minutes please, Davis? This won’t take long.”
He nodded. “Of course.”
I nodded back and traipsed off towards the main doors. Rhys said to meet him at The Garden but didn’t say where, and I wondered for the first time if security would be an issue.
“Natalie,” I heard to my left, just as I reached for the handle to pull the door open.
Rhys stood just outside of the alleyway, the alleyway, watching me. His shaggy dirty blond hair stood on end, as if he was running his fingers through it, and his beard was thicker than I remembered. Had I not looked at him for real when he was in my office earlier? He leaned casually against the building, his arms folded across his chest in a way that pulled his t-shirt tight over his biceps. I tried to look away, but he was oozing sex appeal.
“Oh, there you are.” I sounded like a fool because I was so flustered.
“Come with me.” He motioned for me to follow him into the alley and I paused. Being alone in an alley with Rhys was the whole reason I was in this mess to begin with.
“Can’t we go into the front?” I hadn’t let go of the door handle yet, as if stepping away would solidify my doom.
“This will only take a minute. I have to wrap up with the guys and pack up. We can go back to my hotel to talk.”
Back to his hotel.
That was a recipe for disaster.
“Um, how about we go to this diner around the corner, and…” I began, still not moving away from the main doors to follow him.
Rhys shook his head. “We can talk in the lobby if you’re more comfortable, but I would prefer we go somewhere more private than a diner.”
I sighed against my rebuttal because he was probably right. There was no reason for the world to see me with him and start to speculate. We had to get this conversation over with before he found out about my pregnancy. The longer he was in New York, the more likely it was he would find out. It wasn’t a secret after all. I told my father, my office, and before long, the tabloids would know too. But I couldn’t have my pregnancy connected to Rhys in any way, and if people saw us together, they would start to draw their own conclusions.
“Okay, but I’ll wait here for you.” I wasn’t going back into that alley.
Rhys shrugged. “Suit yourself. It’s pretty cold out here.”
Before I could answer with a refusal, he turned and disappeared inside. I pulled my coat around me tighter against the cold November air. He was right, it was unseasonable cold for early November, but I could deal with a little bit of a chill if it meant self-preservation.
Less than ten minutes later, Rhys reappeared, this time wearing a worn leather jacket over his t-shirt and a guitar case in his hand.
“Ready?” he asked me as he approached.
His blue eyes searched my face before
they dipped lower, running over my booted feet and up my bare legs to where my arms were crossed protectively over my abdomen. I saw the appreciation there and tried to ignore the heat I felt growing in my belly at his gaze. Getting lost in Rhys was not an option right now. I had to convince him we didn’t have a chance. I had to make him never want to see me again. But this was proving harder and harder each time we were together.
“Yeah,” I mumbled, unsure of my voice and my words when I was around him. I didn’t feel like Natalie Livingston, CEO and heiress. I felt like a woman who was lost until she opened her eyes and saw the one person who made her feel found.
We stood there, silent and staring at each other for what felt like an hour, though it was likely only a minute or so, before he turned away from me and began to walk down the sidewalk.
“My hotel is this way. We can walk, unless you want me to get a cab?”
I caught up to him, almost suggesting we could take my car but thought better of it. Though I was sure Davis would be discreet I didn’t want there to be a reason for him to have to be.
“We can walk,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. My voice was clipped and unsure, and I berated myself internally for the way I was reacting to him.
We didn’t speak as we walked the two blocks to his hotel. It wasn’t a fancy hotel but it wasn’t budget either. In fact, the hotel we were standing outside of was my ex-husband’s hotel.
“You’re staying here?” I asked him, looking around to make sure I didn’t see someone I knew.
“Yeah. It’s pretty nice.” Rhys either didn’t notice or was ignoring my look of panic.
The panic attacks, the ones I had been working with my therapist to cure over the last year, still overtook me from time to time, especially since I wasn’t taking my anti-anxiety meds any longer due to the pregnancy. This panic attack gripped my chest like a vise, so suddenly I felt like I was going to collapse right there on the sidewalk. I tried to tell myself to get a grip. No one would see me.
One Song: book two in the one series Page 7