“Regan!” Emma gasped when she saw me.
She ran past Kellan and Harper, headed for me. The expression in her eyes told me she knew everything, and I wanted to shrink away out of humiliation. I couldn’t help it. I felt dirty and weak. I should have been able to sacrifice my body for Harper’s life.
When she reached me, Emma pulled me against her. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”
“Keep moving,” Kellan growled, and I looked up to see him pushing Harper faster.
He didn’t look my way, but Harper did. Her eyes were bigger than ever, twin pools of blue that shimmered with fear.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
She cried harder.
Jasper paused so he could pass Cade a gun, but Kellan kept moving, not looking my way.
“He needs backup,” Jasper said, before heading after Kellan and Harper.
Cade shot one look at Emma before running after them.
I stayed in Emma’s arms until they reached the stairs and disappeared, and then I pulled away. She followed me to the wall of monitors and we stood silently, side by side, staring at the grainy black and white image of what was happening on the surface.
All the men were out of the cars, as was Blake. He was conscious now, moving around, but I took little comfort in it when I knew we were all still in trouble.
“They won’t leave without trying to get the rest of us,” I whispered.
Emma grabbed for my hand, her eyes not moving from the monitor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her lips move, followed by the quiet whisper of her prayers. Emma, unlike the rest of us, had refused to let go of her belief that God was in control of things.
On the screen, we watched as the bunker door flew open and Kellan stepped out, dragging Harper with him. His gun was still in his hand but no longer pointing at her. Instead it was aimed at the men on the other side of the fence.
I leaned forward and flicked a switch, and the audio filled the room. It was garbled from static, but good enough that we’d be able to figure out what was going on.
“I’m going to open the gate, and you’re going to let Blake in,” Kellan called. “Understand?”
“I told you before.” Dominic stepped forward. “You’re not in a position to make demands.”
Andrew moved, his gun up after two steps and aimed at the back of Dominic’s head. The bald man pulled the trigger, and the boom of gunfire echoed through the room, muffled by the speakers but still deafening. Dominic dropped to the ground, dead before he’d even had a chance to learn that Andrew was going to shoot him.
“He’s been a pain in the ass since he joined up with us.” Andrew turned the gun on Kellan. “Open the gate, and we make the switch at the same time.”
Kellan hesitated, and on the tiny screen it was impossible to know what he was thinking, but only a few seconds passed before he called out, “Deal.”
He moved, pulling Harper with him while he kept the gun trained on Andrew. When he reached the gate, however, he was forced to put it away so he could undo the lock. Even from where I sat in the control room I could tell he had a hard time focusing on the lock as his gaze moved from it to Andrew to Blake. Still, he managed to get it open and the chain uncurled in no time. By that point someone was already moving forward, pulling a stumbling Blake with him.
“What happened to him?” Emma asked, making me jump.
“He was hit in the head with a baseball bat.” I didn’t take my eyes off the screen. “He was out for a long time.”
“How long?”
“I don’t know. We were in different cars. Fifteen minutes at least, possibly closer to thirty.”
“Shit,” she said under her breath.
The tradeoff was fast. Kellan pushed Harper forward, and she stumbled through the open gate where Andrew snatched her up. She had only been out of Kellan’s grasp for a second when he grabbed Blake and yanked him back through the gate.
Blake stumbled and fell to the ground, but Kellan didn’t look at him. He was too busy working to secure the lock.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” Andrew called as he dragged Harper away.
“They’re going to leave,” I said.
I couldn’t believe it. They were going to follow through with their end of the bargain and leave us alone. We were going to be okay.
All of us except Harper.
I pushed the thought aside and focused on Kellan. On the screen he looked so small, so scared, and my heart pounded as he worked on the lock, clicking it into place before turning to haul Blake to his feet.
He moved fast, practically dragging Blake toward the shelter. I attributed his speed to panic, to an intense desire to get back inside and make sure everyone was safe, but before he’d even reached the shelter, Jasper and Cade were there, both of them armed. Cade pulled Blake inside while Kellan turned back toward the fence, his gun up while he pulled out a second one. Gunfire burst through the air only a moment before Jasper lifted his shotgun and started firing.
“No,” I said as Cade appeared behind him and joined in the gunfight, a gun in each hand.
Emma gasped and grabbed for me, her hand squeezing mine. I wanted to run, to charge out and help them, but I was unarmed. Andrew had taken all my weapons back at the farmhouse.
The image seemed smaller than ever as a few of Andrew’s men went down while others started firing back. Their leader ran for the truck, pulling a screaming Harper with him. Inside the fence, Kellan had moved so he was behind the water trough, while Cade had ducked behind a pile of hay. It wasn’t great cover, but it seemed to be enough. Jasper still stood outside the door to the shelter, firing his shotgun.
An engine roared to life, and my attention was drawn from our friends. Andrew had Harper in the truck, and he was backing up, trying to flee. A couple of his men ran, one of them hitting the dirt when he was shot in the back, but another managed to make it to the truck and pull himself into the back. Others screamed for him to stop, but Andrew didn’t slow.
“No!” Emma screamed, the horror in her voice making my body hum with fear.
My eyes snapped to another screen, and then another as I searched for what had made her sound so panicked. The image on the third screen not only stole my breath away, it caused fissures in my heart that hurt worse than the punch Andrew had thrown.
Jasper was on the ground, his gun lying at his side, and even though the image in front of me was black and white, my brain registered the pool of red gathering under his body.
24
“No!” I yelled, echoing Emma’s exclamation.
I didn’t think, I just ran. Out of the control room and to the stairs, taking them two at a time. My brain registered the pounding of Emma’s footsteps behind me, but I didn’t look back. I remained focused on what was in front of me as I charged up the stairs.
When I reached the surface, I burst outside, dropping to the ground next to Jasper. The red had spread, soaking into the dirt beneath him and covering his shirt, and it only took one look at it to know there was nothing anyone could do.
“No,” I moaned, reaching for his shirt anyway, trying to pull it away so I could inspect the wound.
Jasper clasped at my hand while his breath came out in painful gasps. “Regan.”
“No, Jasper,” I said again, sobbing now. “Don’t leave me. Please.”
He reached up with the hand that wasn’t holding mine and patted my face. “My beautiful girl.”
“Jasper.” It was all I could say.
This man had saved me, and for that, I loved him, but there was so much more to it. He’d been like a second father since the day he’d found Kellan and me, and losing him was like losing my parents all over again. It opened a wound I’d thought had healed long ago, but as the pain pulsed through me, I realized it had only been dormant. Like a volcano erupting inside me, the ache throbbed through my body until it took my breath away.
Emma dropped to her knees next to me. “No. No. No.”
Like me, she seemed to be
unable to say anything else.
“You’ll be okay.” Jasper’s voice was so low that I had to lean closer. “You have each other. That’s all you need.”
“We need you,” I said through my tears. “Who will take care of us?”
Jasper’s hand tightened on mine. “You can take care of each other.”
His gaze moved to Emma. “Blake and Cade will look after you, just like you’ll look after them.” Then he was looking at me again. “Kellan.” The word rasped out of him. “He loves you so much.”
I sobbed harder. “I love him, too.”
Jasper’s mouth turned up into a strained smile. “I’m just glad I was around long enough to see you two acknowledge it.” He winced, and his smile morphed into an expression of agony. “Don’t—” He took a deep breath. “Don’t let those men get away with her. We were wrong to shut people out. We shouldn’t have. Life isn’t worth living if there’s no risk.”
He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. My hand was still in his when his body went slack, and by then I was sobbing uncontrollably. He was gone. I knew he was, but I couldn’t let go of him. Not even when Emma threw her arms around me and sobbed into the crook of my neck. Not when Cade pulled her away. Not until Kellan dragged me to my feet and pulled me against his still bare chest.
“It’s okay,” he whispered over and over again. “It’s going to be okay.”
It didn’t feel like it was going to be okay. Jasper was dead, Blake was hurt, who knew what was going to happen with Harper now that Andrew had her.
Andrew!
I pulled back, my eyes wide as I looked around. Bodies littered the ground on the other side of the fence, eight at least, but the cars were gone.
“What happened?” I asked, turning my gaze back to Kellan
“They took off.”
“With Harper,” Emma said.
Kellan stiffened, his hands tightening on my shoulders. “I didn’t have a choice. You weren’t there. They were going to—” His voice broke, and his grip tightened until it made me gasp and he finally eased his hold on me. “I couldn’t stand there and let it happen. Not when I could do something to stop it.”
“I know,” I whispered, because it was true. If the situation had been reversed, I would have done the same thing. The idea of watching Kellan be tortured made me physically ill.
“No one blames you,” Cade said, his voice as firm as his grip on Emma. “The question is, what do we do about it now?”
“What can we do?” Emma asked. “We don’t know where they’re going.”
Kellan exhaled, his gaze moving between us and then down to Jasper. He stared at the man who’d been our father for the last nine years before focusing on the bodies beyond the fence.
I followed his gaze, squinting into the bright sun. In the distance, dozens of dots were headed our way, drawn here no doubt by the gunfire.
“We’re going to have company soon,” Kellan said.
Cade and Emma turned to face the incoming horde.
“Shit,” he said. “Like we need any more challenges.”
“It’ll be fine,” Kellan said. “You check on Blake. Make sure he’s okay. I’m going to make sure all those assholes are dead.” He turned his gaze on me. “Go inside.”
“I want to be with you.” I clutched his hand harder. “I’ll help you. It’ll be faster that way. Then we can take care of Jasper.”
“We have to bury him,” Emma said, sniffling.
“We will,” Kellan replied, his gaze still on me. “First we need to make sure the shelter’s secure and Blake is okay.”
Cade and Emma nodded, and together they worked to get a still half out of it Blake inside. Giving me one more look of concern, Kellan headed for the gate, and I followed him.
“What’s the plan?” I asked as he unwound the chain.
He was still shirtless, making him vulnerable, and the idea of him going up against a zombie when he wasn’t as protected as he should have been terrified me.
“Right now I want to make sure none of Andrew’s men are still alive.” He tossed the chain on the ground and pulled the gate open. “We can deal with the dead later. After we’ve taken care of Jasper.”
Kellan and I went from body to body, relieving Andrew’s men of their weapons after making sure they were no longer breathing. I was armed, thanks to Jasper and Kellan, but it turned out it didn’t matter. No one was alive, and the dead were still so far away that they were little more than black dots on the horizon, and we were back inside the safety of the fence in no time.
Once Kellan had the chain secure, he turned to face me. “Was I wrong for putting your safety above hers?”
“I don’t know.” I crossed my arms over my chest when the memory of Andrew’s hands on my body slammed into me. “I don’t think—” I swallowed. “I don’t think it’s a simple black and white situation. Sacrificing her meant saving not only me, it saved you and Blake, too.”
Kellan sucked in a breath before slowly blowing it out. “I was only thinking about you.”
His words warmed me, and the shame of that feeling made me look down. It shouldn’t be that way, but knowing Kellan had thought of me above everyone else warmed me to my very core.
“Regan,” he whispered.
When I ventured a look up, he reached for me, grabbing my hips and pulling me against him. “If we don’t get her back, I’ll have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life, but I can’t regret it. I can’t. I couldn’t let them do that to you.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to stand by and watch them hurt you either,” I whispered.
Kellan leaned down, and I tipped my face up, allowing his lips to close over mine. The kiss was gentle and soft, but the way his fingers flexed on my hips made it seem like he was having a difficult time maintaining control. I knew the feeling. This thing wasn’t over, but we were safe for the moment, and I wanted to cling to that.
But we had other things to do, and we both knew it.
We laid Jasper to rest behind the shelter, beside the graves of our other family members. Blake, too injured to make the trip to the surface, was the only one missing when we lowered Jasper into the hole. I stood at Kellan’s side, leaning into him while Emma did the same with Cade. Of all the graves we’d had to dig over the years, this had been hardest.
“Does anyone have anything they want to say?” Cade asked.
I had so much to say about this man, but I suddenly found it impossible to get even a single word out. It felt as if my throat was on fire.
“He was more than a leader,” Kellan said, his voice even despite the tears shimmering in his eyes. “I know when this all started that was what Jasper thought he’d be, but for most of us, he was so much more. He was a father and a friend. He kept us together when tragedy threatened to rip us apart.” Kellan exhaled and closed his eyes. “Replacing him will be impossible.”
His words were followed by silence.
When no one else spoke, Cade grabbed a shovel and started filling the hole. Kellan followed his lead while Emma and I stood back, watching. There were only two shovels, making it impossible to help, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn away yet. I watched instead as shovelful after shovelful of dirt fell onto the white sheet covering Jasper’s body. With each passing second, less of it was visible, until he finally slipped from view completely.
Kellan and Cade seemed to work faster then, as if desperate to finish the job and escape. When the hole was filled, we went inside, leaning on each other like we needed the support to stay standing. Kellan was drenched in sweat from the hard work of first digging the hole, and then filling it, and my own clothes clung to my damp skin. I was desperate for a shower and exhausted from lack of sleep and the emotions of the day, but I couldn’t turn in for the night quite yet.
“Can we check on Blake?” I asked as we headed down.
Kellan gave me a squeeze. “Yeah. I want to make sure he’s okay.”
Emma, who was on duty for the next f
ew hours, stopped outside the control room.
Cade stopped with her, calling after us, “Tell him I’ll be there in a few minutes to check on him.”
“We will.” Kellan waved over his shoulder.
Blake was sitting on the couch in the common area when we walked in, not the clinic like he was supposed to be.
“What are you doing out here?” I pulled away from Kellan and hurried to him. “You should be resting.”
“I can rest here just as well as I can down there,” he said then shook his head. “I was trying to come up, but I felt nauseous and had to sit down.”
I lowered myself onto the couch at his side. “You need to rest, Blake. Cade thinks you have a concussion.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it. That asshole got me good.”
“Let me see.” I reached out to touch his head, and he winced. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
He had a pretty nasty bruise on the side of his face and a bump on his head, but most of the damage seemed to be internal. Considering how hard that bat hit him, he didn’t look too bad off.
“Did you guys bury him?” Blake asked.
I dropped my hand to my lap. “We did.”
Kellan stopped at my side and rested his hand on my shoulder.
“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Blake whispered.
“It’s going to be tough to get used to,” I agreed.
Blake looked up, focusing on Kellan. “What now? Are we going to let these assholes go?”
“I don’t know.” Kellan’s hand tightened on my shoulder. “I want to try to get Harper back, but we have no idea where they took her. Not to mention the fact that we’re outnumbered. I counted six bodies, which means at least six men got away. There are only four of us.”
“Five,” I said.
Kellan looked down. “Blake has a concussion.”
“It’s just my head.” Blake waved his hand in the air. “I’m not letting those pricks get the better of me.”
The Oklahoma Wastelands Series Box Set | Books 1-3 Page 25