We both move towards each other at the same time and I wrap her in my arms, holding her close to me, my arms locked in this embrace. I know I won’t easily be able to let go of her.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers into my jacket and I squeeze her tighter to me.
I close my eyes, feeling her body against mine and then move my hand up her back, resting it in her hair. I pull her hair back gently so her face looks up to me and my lips close the distance between us. I kiss her tenderly at first, tasting her tears mixed in with our kiss. Her lips are soft. I feel her body shiver against me. It’s enough to kick my body into overdrive and, with it, I deepen the kiss. Her lips part for me and my tongue moves in instantly.
She is addictive. I feel like I’ve gone two months sober and right now I want nothing more than to indulge in her taste. My arm tightens around her, needing her closer to me than our clothes will allow. I feel her hands move under my jacket, pulling at my dress shirt underneath, as if she needs to feel the touch of my skin as badly as I want to touch her.
Breathing unfortunately becomes an issue and I reluctantly pull away, trying to catch my breath. My arms stay tightly wrapped around her, though, and I vaguely notice we’re standing in the garden alone now.
Zoe is breathing heavily, too, but she glances up at me, her hands moving from my shirt and weaving up my chest, resting on either side of my face. Her touch sends chills down my body. “Charlie, I’m sorry for everything.”
“Don’t be. I forgive you. I understand.” Up until this moment I didn’t understand and even now I don’t, but at this moment, it’s not important that I understand what happened, just that right now Zoe is alive and in my arms.
“You do?” Her voice breaks and more tears rush down her face. I let one arm drop from around her to bring my hand up to wipe her tears gently away.
“Of course, I love you.”
“I love you, too.” When she doesn’t stop crying, I hug her tightly to my chest, knowing she needs to get these tears out.
The sun is setting as we stay in this moment together until darkness surrounds us. Lights from inside the large tent light up where we are. I can see half of Zoe’s face clearly as she pulls away from me and gazes into my eyes; the other half is covered in shadows. She looks so beautiful, more beautiful than I remember. The tent has changed to cater for the reception and I know I’m supposed to be giving a speech soon. I can’t leave this spot, though. I can’t take my eyes off her.
A cool breeze from the water close by hits us and I feel the shiver from Zoe as she is only wearing a thin dress. Her shoulders and arms are exposed. I reluctantly move my arms away from her and quickly take off my jacket, throwing it around her shoulders.
“Thanks,” she murmurs, smiling up at me and causing my heart to stop. She looks so stunning gazing up at me. I feel another surge of love rush through me for her. The image of her in a wedding dress floats through my mind again and I smile back down at her.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks me curiously, leaning her body into me. I’m not sure if she is doing this to torture me, but she’ll definitely be able to feel me through my pants. Her head is still looking up and her eyes bore into mine.
“How beautiful you are.” I see a flush grace her face and I know she doesn’t believe me. She’s never been good at taking a compliment. I will have to help change that.
“I admit you are looking really hot in this tux. I approve.” Another smile melts my heart and she tugs lightly on my tie.
“Zoe…” My voice trails off. I know she’s happy to see me, to see all of us, but I can also see something else; a sadness inside her, one that was always there from losing Dana, but to me, feels closer to the surface now. “What happened? Are you sure you’re okay? Will explained some of it, but I need to hear it from you.”
She gazes away from me and tries to step back, but I keep my arms around her, not wanting to let her go. “Don’t go.” I sound panicked to my own ears, yet even my pride won’t let me take that back. I need her right now. I need to be able to feel her, touch her and to know that this moment isn’t some sick joke my mind is playing on me.
“Charlie.” Her voice catches and her hand moves back up to my face, gently caressing me. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“Will you talk to me about what happened? Or at least promise to tell me when you’re ready?” I beg.
She looks at me for a long time, and I watch a few stray tears fall down her face.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to tell it all, not yet.”
“Okay.”
“But when I am ready, I promise I’ll tell you everything.”
I nod, wanting to take away her pain.
“Before you said you forgive me, do you really?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Even though I left you?” More tears fall down her face. I notice her eyes have reddened and are puffy from crying so much. I move my arm away from her back to gently wipe away her tears again.
“I know you didn’t have a lot of choice with what happened to us, none of us did.”
“But I knew it was coming, Frank warned me. He said that you and Rose could go back home, that you could be free. I didn’t want to let you go, but I knew you deserved to have a normal life. I wanted you to be able to go home, to see your dad and to live out your dreams.”
“My only dream is to spend my life with you. Apart, I won’t ever be able to fully live.”
Zoe cries harder, her voice breaking as she tries to speak through her tears. “I wasn’t allowed to say anything to you. It was so hard knowing I was going to lose you. When Frank took me away, I hated myself; I haven’t stopped. I did to you what he did to me and Mom. I won’t ever forgive myself for putting you through that.”
“No, you can’t do that to yourself. You did the right thing. I would have done the same if I were in your shoes.”
She nods, but I’m not sure if my words really have much impact on her. I want to take away that haunted look in her eyes, so I change the subject. “So you went home after you got out?”
“Yes, we split up and I so badly wanted to see you, but I had to see my mom. I knew if I saw you first that I wouldn’t want to leave,” she admits.
“I know the feeling. I hope you don’t have any plans for the next fifty years because I don’t plan on leaving your side.”
She smiles at me, and seeing it makes my heart skip a beat. Her smile is my favorite feature of hers. Every smile she’s ever given me has made me react. Seeing her happy gives me a jolt throughout my entire body, a reaction I’ve never had to anyone else before.
“That works for me.” Her smile falters as her mind drifts away from us. “I went to Dana’s grave and said goodbye to her. I placed Drew’s ashes with her so they could be together.”
“Drew would have liked that. I’ve spent a lot of time with him and I can see how much he loved Dana. I hate that she was taken away from you, taken away from him. It makes me hate Joel even more for what he took from you.”
“No.” She shakes her head at me, confusing me. “No, you can’t hate him. He made a mistake, but it wasn’t exactly his fault. Future Joel made some horrible decisions, but this Joel didn’t have a chance. His only fault was being a horrible shot. Even then, he saved my life, and in the end he sacrificed himself for me.”
“You’re standing up for him?” I can’t keep the shock out of my voice.
“I know what he did was wrong, and I hate the mistake he made, but I’m beginning to realize that he wasn’t a horrible person.” She shrugs. “I just wish realizing that made a difference to how much I miss Dana.”
“Nothing will be able to change that, but soon it won’t hurt so much to miss her.”
“I hope so.” As she lifts both her arms, bringing them around my neck, my jacket falls to the ground, exposing her arms again. “I missed you so much,” she admits, her words delighting me in more ways than they probably should.
“I missed y
ou, too.” I grip the back of her dress, feeling the light material bunching at my grip. “Right now, I’m trying really hard not to rip this dress off you,” I admit, watching her eyes light up at my words.
“Well, I’m not stopping you.” She grins at me and again my heart skips a beat. At this rate, I’m going to have a heart attack.
I glance around us, knowing we’re mostly hidden out here and there doesn’t appear to be anyone around. We’re alone. I grip her dress harder, seriously considering ripping it off her when I see her shiver again. A cool breeze moves her hair across her face. Even I feel cold and I’m wearing a shirt.
“Walk with me.” I suddenly feel a strong desire to be somewhere more private and warm. I take her hand, annoyed that I have to break away from her to do this. She quickly grabs my jacket off the ground and links her arms through it, looking adorable in the oversized jacket.
I walk us quickly through the parking lot on the other side of the large tent and hurriedly towards the large building that Rose and Dean have rented out for everyone to stay in. Then I move quickly to the room Dean had said would be mine for the night. I had said originally that I wouldn’t need it, but I’m thankful he insisted I have one. The room is small, yet it houses a bed, a small bathroom and a dresser.
I look back at Zoe and stop moving. The light in the room is on and I can see her a lot better. “What happened to you?” I whisper, taking her face in my hands and gently skimming over the bruises I see trying to hide under her makeup. I know they’ll look worse once she has nothing covering them. Anger surges through me, however I don’t lash out. It’s the first time in months that I’m able to control myself. Lately, my anger has been the only thing controlling me.
“I’m not ready to talk about that part.” Her eyes look haunted again so I place a kiss on her lips, wishing I could take away her pain.
“Okay, but I’ll be here when you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere, ever.”
She smiles and surprises me by kissing me deeply. I step back until I make contact with the bed and sit down, bringing her down with me. When I lie back on the bed and she climbs over me, hitching her dress up to do so, my hands roam over her thighs, wanting more than anything to rip the dress right off her. Now there isn’t anything stopping me.
As I feel the familiar motions of my body reacting to having her close to me, I know she will be able to feel it, too.
I let her take the lead and watch her pull at my tie, loosening it and sliding it out from my collar.
“I know our last few times together we took things slow, and as much as I want to do that again with you, I’m not sure I can wait,” I admit, getting even more turned on just remembering those nights back at The Mansion.
“I don’t think I can wait, either.” She smiles at me, undoing my shirt quickly then breaking the last few buttons off by tearing it open. Her eagerness sets me on edge and I move my hands higher up her thighs, moving her dress up over her hips. I graze my fingers under her underwear, gulping when I notice how ready she is for me, which in turns makes my pants feel unbearable over me. I gasp when she grinds over me, however she is quick to stop moving.
My eyes had closed, feeling the sensation completely of her on top of me, but when I open them to gaze at her, I see her frowning.
“What is it?” I move my hands away from her thighs and wrap them around her hands resting them over my chest.
“Not yet, we can’t.”
“Why not?” I’m keen to cement my love for Zoe and to feel every inch of her body, to assure myself that I am not dreaming this and that she really is here, she is alive.
“You’ll cause a blackout and it’s Rose’s wedding. The lights, the music, it’ll all go.” She looks deeply into my eyes and I see the want and need behind her rich brown eyes, I see the love she has for me and I hate that I can understand where she is coming from.
Rose and Dean deserve to have a great wedding, and not one that ends just after the vows with a power cut. I doubt there’ll be a backup generator to this place and who knows how long it’ll be before they can get the power up and running again.
I groan and close my eyes, hoping to be able to still my excitement.
“Let’s leave then, get as far away from here as possible,” I state, resigned to my fate.
“Yes.” Zoe moves away from me and I see her pulling down her dress while placing her feet back in her heels. I note she looks as eager as I feel. I smile, pulling her to me and kissing her again, wanting her body more than ever.
“Quickly, before I change my mind.” She pulls away and takes my hand, rushing me outside the room. I glimpse the overnight bag Dean packed for me by the doorway and I’m able to squat down and grab it before we rush out. I don’t plan on making it back here.
I take the lead and rush Zoe out to my car, fumbling to grab my keys and pull out the right one. It’s just a rental. The car revs loudly as my foot eagerly slams down on the accelerator and Zoe laughs as we fly forward. I reach over and take her hand, wanting to assure myself she is still with me.
“This feels like a dream. I hope I don’t wake up from it and find you gone,” I say honestly, not feeling embarrassed to tell her that.
“I had many dreams of you.” I can’t tell from her voice if she is happy or sad about that.
“What happened in them?” What did she see?
“Some I know were real. I saw your grief, I saw you keeping your promise and talking to Drew. Thank you so much for that; it means more than I can ever say.”
“He’s a good guy, you were right that we would make good friends,” I concede, worried about what grief she saw of me. I had many bad nights involving alcohol. I promised her I wouldn’t ever drink again to win her back after the debacle that was Wisconsin, but when I thought she was gone, I broke that promise. I just changed the location from a bar to home. I didn’t let myself fall into the trap, though, feeling often like I was letting Zoe down, even feeling like she was watching me. Is that because she was? Did she see my drinking?
“I’m glad. He told me how great he thinks you are and how much he could see you loved me.”
I’m grateful Drew said those things. He really is a great guy. If only he could get this same happy ending with Dana. I don’t dare voice that wish to Zoe, though, it’ll only upset her.
“I saw you and Rose fighting. I saw you punching the wall outside her apartment.” Her fingers graze over my tender skin on my knuckles and I flush with embarrassment. I had felt like she had been there with me when I let the anger get to me. I felt like she calmed me down, took that anger away from me.
“I also saw other things.” Now her voice does crack and I look away from the open road to glance at her.
“What is it?”
“I saw us together in the future. I saw us older, married with a child. I saw that we could be together.”
“So you knew this would all work out?” I gasp.
“No, I don’t know that they’re real. Dana….” Her voice fades away, but I see the wistful look in her eyes. “…but they could be real. Maybe they were? I want them to be.”
“You do?” Maybe I should feel overwhelmed right now. I mean, she basically just said she wants to get married to me, to have a kid together and grow old. Instead, I feel right. This is what I want, too. It’s what I’ve always wanted with her deep down. I might not have thought it through enough to envision kids, but that thought doesn’t scare me. Not as much as losing Zoe does.
“Yes, I want it all. I want you, Charlie.”
Her words undo me completely and I quickly pull over, knowing I need to be close to her and that I’m unable to be away from her any longer. I undo my seat belt and Zoe quickly does the same. I get out of the car and rush around to the passenger side and make it there just as she opens the door. I take her hand in mine and smile when she rushes forward and crashes into me. Intertwined, we stumble through a meadow and collapse onto the soft grass under us. I lie over her and take in her smile. The moo
n is bright tonight and the sky is clear from the smog that usually smothers L.A..
The air is warmer here and I let my fingers glide slowly down her neck, feeling pleasure at the way she shivers under me.
“I don’t care where we live, Zoe. Please, just say you won’t leave me.” I feel the fear hit me hard that I might have to say goodbye. Her life is in Boston and mine is in Houston. I will happily go anywhere with her, though.
“I already packed a bag and said goodbye to my mom. If you’ll have me, I’ll come back with you to Houston. I thought it might be nice for us to try out living there.”
“Really?” I feel wonder and love looking into Zoe’s eyes. She’s willing to move two thousand miles to be with me.
“Yes, I don’t want to leave you either, Charlie. I’ll do anything to stay with you.” She looks nervous and I wonder if it’s because she’s worried I’ll say no or because it’ll mean living together.
“I just signed a lease on an apartment; we can live there together.” I can’t keep the excitement out of my voice. A month ago I had finally found the guts to talk to Dad about moving out and I nearly chickened out, feeling the daunting knowledge that I would be living alone. This will be perfect.
“Sounds great. Is it apartment 14C?”
“How did you—?”
“Kiss me, Charlie,” Zoe interrupts me, and I no longer care how she knows.
I lean down and capture her lips, feeling my growing excitement bubbling through my body. Zoe hurriedly finishes unbuttoning the buttons left on my shirt then she pulls it down off my shoulders. I move my arms so she can take it off while she pulls at my undershirt and, after she gets that off, I tug the hem of her dress up, moving it over her hips and over her head. I admire the stunningly perfect woman lying under me and my heart swells again. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I know I never will about anyone else.
We fumble with each other’s underwear, eager to be free of them, and soon I am inside of her and every part of my body is in heaven. I gasp her name, feeling so much love and pleasure. This woman in my arms is everything to me. I let myself get lost in her body, not wanting to think about anything, to just feel her. She is mine and I am hers, forever.
Taken By Choice (Taken Trilogy Book 3) Page 37