by HELEN HARDT
Praise for Helen Hardt’s
Follow Me Darkly
An Amazon Editors’ Pick for Best Romance
One of the 22 Best Erotic Novels to Read from Marie Claire magazine
“Hardt spins erotic gold.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Intensely erotic and wildly emotional.”
—New York Times bestselling author Lisa Renee Jones
“With an edgy, enigmatic hero and loads of sexual tension, Helen Hardt’s fast-paced Follow Me Darkly had me turning pages late into the night!”
—New York Times bestselling author J. Kenner
“A tour de force where the reader will be pulled in as if they’re being seduced by Braden Black, taken for a wild ride, and left wanting more.”
—USA Today bestselling author Julie Morgan
“Hot. Sexy. Intriguing. Page-turner.”
—International bestselling author Victoria Blue
“Helen Hardt’s gift for engaging storytelling and unforgettable characters is at its full shine.”
—USA Today bestselling author Angel Payne
“Christian, Gideon, and now…Braden Black.”
—Books, Wine, and Besties
“This book is off-the-charts hot, very near scalding.”
—Books Best
“It completely consumed me and I’m in love with the mysterious Braden. I want and need to know more about this man.”
—The Sassy Nerd Blog
Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty-One
Chapter Fifty-Two
Chapter Fifty-Three
Chapter Fifty-Four
Chapter Fifty-Five
Chapter Fifty-Six
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Aphrodite in Bloom, by Anonymous
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2021 by Helen Hardt. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the Publisher.
Entangled Publishing, LLC
10940 S Parker Road
Suite 327
Parker, CO 80134
[email protected]
Amara is an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC.
Visit our website at www.entangledpublishing.com.
Edited by Liz Pelletier
Cover design by Bree Archer
Cover images Gorlov/GettyImages-1292424729,
OGphoto/GettyImages.157588714,
Anna Kim/GettyImages-1156926694,
MRS.Siwaporn/Shutterstock-1018213306
Interior design by Toni Kerr
ISBN 978-1-68281-556-4
Ebook ISBN 978-1-68281-557-1
Manufactured in the United States of America
First Edition August 2021
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Also by Helen Hardt
Follow Me series
Follow Me Darkly
Follow Me Under
Follow Me Always
Darkly
WOLFES OF MANHATTAN
Rebel
Recluse
Runaway
STEEL BROTHERS SAGA
Craving
Obsession
Possession
Melt
Burn
Surrender
Shattered
Twisted
Unraveled
Breathless
Ravenous
Insatiable
Fate
Legacy
Descent
Awakened
For everyone on this journey called life.
Follow Me Always is a super-sexy romance that includes a dominating hero; discussions of adultery, date rape, erotic asphyxiation, and stalking; and traumatic injury, death of a parent, alcoholism, and spousal abuse in characters’ backstories. It is our hope that these issues have been handled sensitively, but for any readers who may be sensitive to these elements, please take note.
Prologue
Oh? What are your hard limits?
I only have one.
What is it?
I don’t talk about it.
Don’t you think I should know? So I don’t bring it up?
Trust me, Skye. You will never bring it up.
…
Braden was wrong. I brought it up. Why did he think I wouldn’t?
Control. It’s the ultimate loss of control, and he assumed I’d never go there.
“Why?” I ask. “Why won’t you do it?”
“Why? Perhaps I’ll tell you why…as soon as you tell me why you feel you need it.”
“I…don’t know.”
He inhales. Exhales. Inhales again. Is he thinking about how to reply to me? Is he angry? Sad? Does he feel anything at all?
Because I can’t tell.
“For God’s sake, Braden,” I finally say. “Can you show me some emotion for once in your life?”
He cocks his head as his nostrils flare. “You think I don’t show you emotion?” He stands. “How can you say that? I’ve shown you more emotion than I’ve ever shown anyone. Anyone, Skye. If you don’t know that, you should.”
He’s right. I’m not being fair. He showed me a ton of emotion last night when my dinner burned, and I lost it. “Braden—”
“No. You don’t talk. Not until I’m done. I told you who I was. I told you I wasn’t wired for relationships. But I made an exception for you. I made that exception because I love you, Skye. I wasn’t looking to fall in love. I knew it would put a dent in my life—”
I can’t help responding.
I’m torn in half, and I’m angry. “A dent, Braden? I’m a fucking dent?”
“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, Skye. I will have my say, and then you can have yours. If you’re brave enough.”
“Brave enough? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what it means, and if you interrupt me again, this discussion is over.”
My lips tremble as I nod.
He clears his throat. “I made an exception for you. I decided to have a relationship—or try, at least—but I fear this little experiment of mine has failed.”
Little experiment? I’m a damned experiment? I want to yell, scream, tear out his hair. Punch his smug face until it’s bruised and battered.
I want to cry, sob in his arms, and tell him I’ll do anything to please him.
I want to beg him to take me back underground, tie me up, choke me.
I want to bare my soul, confess my love, tell him I’ll do anything… Anything…
But I sit quietly. I sit quietly because I’m afraid. I’m very afraid of where this is leading.
If you’re brave enough…
I’ve lost so much already.
And now I’m about to lose the man I love.
Chapter One
Seconds pass like hours.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
I wait.
I wait while emotion hurricanes through me in a mass of anger, sadness, and fear.
I wait for Braden to continue. To say what he has to say.
To end our relationship—a relationship that perhaps should never have begun.
I could be content right now. Who needs Susanne Cosmetics? I could still be working for Addison Ames. She paid me pretty well, and yeah, she’s a narcissistic bitch, but I was making contacts.
And Tessa. I’d still have Tessa. My best friend forever, except that forever apparently has an end after all. Maybe I’d be dating that Peter guy. He’s not a billionaire, but he’s an architect at a major firm. He does all right. Who needs a private jet anyway? Or a private driver? I’ll settle for a guy with a decent car. Who needs to be tied up? Spanked? Choked?
I never did.
I was content before.
Except that I wasn’t.
I was never challenged.
And Braden?
He challenges me. Not just in everyday, run-of-the-mill ways, either. He challenges my very way of thinking. He challenges my concept of myself. He dares me to try new things. Things I never even conceptualized before.
Things I never knew existed.
And I’m not just talking about the bondage.
I’m talking about life. About my photography. About seeing a bigger picture. About becoming what I’m meant to be.
Braden did all that for me.
And now he’s going to take it away.
“Well?” he finally asks.
I lift my eyebrows, fearing that if I speak, he’ll walk away that much sooner.
“You may speak,” he says.
I nod. “Well, what?”
“Fuck it all, Skye. Don’t you have anything to say?”
What? Did he say something after the experiment comment? Shit. He may have. I was busy having a little pity party for myself inside my head.
“I’m sorry. I’m a little…distracted.”
“Distracted? Really? So you don’t give a shit that we’re breaking up?”
My heart sinks to my belly. His words aren’t unexpected. No. In fact, I predicted them. But actually hearing them? In his voice?
They hit me like a tornado, crashing into me and shattering every glass window inside my soul.
It’s an implosion of thought and emotion. Of reality and identity.
“I’m sorry.” I choke back a sob. I made a fool of myself last night, crying over my ruined dinner. I won’t do it again.
Not for Braden.
Not for anyone.
“This was a mistake,” he says, “and I take full responsibility.”
“My contract…” The words come out independent of thought.
“Yes, I’ve thought of that. If Susanne cancels the contract because you’re no longer my girlfriend, I’ll remunerate you until you find work.”
I tilt my head, my body numb. “You’ll remunerate me?”
“Yes. I feel it’s only fair. Your association with me cost you the job with Addie, and your association with me also got you started as an influencer. If you’re no longer associated—”
“No. Remunerate means to pay for services rendered. Why would you use that word? Do you think I’ve been servicing you, Braden? That I was letting you—”
“For fuck’s sake. Of course not. But I’m very aware that women will let me do what I want to do in exchange for the privilege of being with me.”
Heartbroken as I am, I can’t let him get away with this crap. “Privilege? Are you kidding me? You really think I let you tie me up just to be your arm candy?”
“No. I said I didn’t. But it’s happened in the past.”
“With Addie?”
“Christ! This is serious, Skye. We’re having a significant conversation, and you bring up Addie and me again?”
“You brought it up. You said it’s happened in the past.”
“I wasn’t talking about Addie.”
Right. He wasn’t. His… What was it anyway? His…dalliance? Anyway, whatever it was, his time with Addie took place before he made his millions. Way before he made his billions.
“I’m not like anyone else,” I say.
My heart seems to fragment, exploding into little pieces inside my body and then sinking to my feet.
Rock bottom.
This must be what rock bottom feels like.
Does it matter anymore? Addie and Braden?
No. Not if Braden and I are no longer together.
“I don’t regret my time with you,” he says.
I scoff softly. “Great. I don’t regret my time with you, either.”
“I’m glad.”
Silence for a few moments. Until—
“Skye…”
“What?” My tone is less nice than I anticipate.
“I don’t want to end things. Please understand that.”
“If you don’t want to end things, don’t end things,” I say adamantly.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Seems to me it is. You end things or you don’t. Simple choice, Braden, and you’re the one making it.”
“There are things you don’t know.” He holds his chin high.
“Only because you won’t tell me!” Anger flares within me. I’ve already hit rock bottom, so what the hell? I can’t sink any lower, so I may as well have my say.
“Some things I don’t talk about,” he says, “with anyone.”
“Then this relationship was doomed from the start, Braden. We never really had a chance, did we?”
He sighs and rubs at his temples. “Maybe we didn’t.”
I can’t help it then. I let a tear fall. One. Two. Three. Then several more, until sobs erupt from my throat and the tears become gushers. “You’re wrong! We always had a chance. Yes, I made some mistakes, but so did you. You should have been honest with me. About Addie. About your mother. About everything!”
His jawline tenses. I can almost see his teeth grinding together, as if his skin and muscles are translucent.
“I’ll be honest with you the day you’re honest with me,” he says.
“I’ve been honest with you from the beginning. That’s not fair.”
“You think you’ve been honest with me, but you haven’t. You can’t even tell me why you wanted me to choke you tonight. You. Skye Manning. Queen of control. You wanted a man to put
rope around your neck, to cut off your air. Do you have any idea what that means?”
“I just…” I wheeze as another sob erupts from my throat. “I just…”
Braden clenches his jaw. “Say it, Skye! Fucking say it!”
All the emotion deep in my belly coils outward like a snake. “I wanted to sink! Sink into nothingness! Give you the ultimate control over my life, okay? Is that what you want to hear? Does it make you feel like a big man to get me to admit that? Does it?”
“It’s dangerous,” he says solemnly. “You’re an intelligent woman. I shouldn’t have to tell you that.”
I gasp back another sob. “I trust you.”
“I know you do. This is no longer about trust, Skye.”
“Then what is it about?”
“What if something went wrong? What if you…”
“I said I trust you,” I say, willing myself to gain control over my body and my emotions. “But if it’s so dangerous, why do you let other people at your club do it?”
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters!”
He pauses a moment, rubbing his chin. “I’m insured. The club is insured. People go there to live out their ultimate fantasies, and I give them the latitude to do that.”
“Well, then?” I meet his gaze, his blue eyes not fiery but still adamant.
“It doesn’t mean I share all their fantasies. And breath control of any kind is my hard limit.”
I whip my hands to my hips. “Even if I want it?”
“Especially if you want it, Skye. I will not put you in danger. What if you had a fetish of being thrown in front of a moving vehicle. Do you want me to indulge that?”
I resist rolling my eyes. It won’t go over well. “It’s different, and you know it.”
“Is it?”
“Of course it is. I don’t want to harm myself.”
“What do you want, then?”
“To—”
I stop abruptly, my mouth hanging open.
I drop my gaze to Braden’s bed, and I smooth out a wrinkle on his navy comforter.
He’s going to push me. He’s going to insist that I answer. And the truth is…
I don’t know the answer.
I mean, I know the answer that’s the frosting on the cake. I want to lose control. I want to lose myself, especially now when I’ve already lost so much of my life. My job. My best friend. The contract with New England Adventures.
And now…Braden.