“Vee—”
“Don’t worry, Ally. I was just messing with Monsieur Vance.” She says his name with French flair. “He’s so wound and uptight that if he were to squeeze out a fart, he’d take down the entire wing. Seriously, that guy’s butt is so puckered that his legs are turned out ninety degrees. He has to sit on his hips. How uncomfortable would that be?”
The mental picture is comedy gold and I can’t help but snort.
“Oh, you do have a funny bone. I was beginning to think you might’ve broken it.”
“I can’t take you anywhere.”
“Yeah, that’s the sucky part of being blind again, right? No driving.”
Motors groan and whir for ten full seconds and we’re met with warm air. “Right through here, ladies.” Nurse Vance sounds a bit flustered.
“Thank you.” Veronica grabs my arm and pulls me forward.
“Have either of you been here before?” asks Nurse Vance.
“Only as patients. Feels weird being on the other side of things.”
I nudge Veronica. “Forgive my friend, Nurse Vance. Neither of us have been here before.”
He claps his hands together. “Perfect. I’ll just point out a few things really quick and then I’ll leave you to your business.”
“You’re not coming with us?” I ask.
Vance chuckles. “We do things a bit different here than other facilities do. All of our patients are long-term, so we try and give them as much freedom as possible. It tends to keep them in a more manageable state.”
“I see.” It’s an ironic phrase coming from my lips.
He continues, “Restrooms and water fountains are located behind you on your left. Directly to your left is what we call the Gen Pop area. Patients in this area are typically mild-mannered. Be careful though because a few of them are known pickpockets.
“To your right is the area for those who need more direct care, also known as Iso Pop. Some of the patients in there can be erratic and violent at times. Do not venture into that area without a supervising nurse. Straight ahead of you are three hallways lined with Gen Pop resident rooms. Central hallway and the eighth door down on the left is where you’ll find Mr. Mallard. Room B15. With the exception of meals, he rarely ventures outside his room. He should be there now. Any questions?”
“Yeah—”
I rib Veronica. “Nope. I think we’ll manage just fine from here. Thank you so much for your kindness and patience, Nurse Vance.”
“It’s been a pleasure, Ms. Bergman. Ms. Gomez.” His shoes squeak like squeegees when he walks away.
I take a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Relax, Ally. Otherwise you’ll be walking around here like a penguin.”
“Is my hair good?”
Veronica chews her gum like a cow chewing its cud. “He’s blind, remember? Besides, your hair never looks good.”
I smile. “I hate you, jerk.”
“Love you, too.” She weaves her fingers through mine. “Straight ahead. If the nerves crop up again just think about Nurse Vance farting.”
I snort. It’s one mental image I’ll never stop finding funny.
We walk forward, hand-in-hand. There’s no one else I’d rather share this moment with. Mother is Mother, and Seth wouldn’t relax me the way Veronica does, but my heart aches for him.
We stop, and Veronica knocks on a door. The sound is hollow.
“Mr. Mallard?” asks Veronica.
My stomach climbs into my throat, leaving a lump I cannot swallow.
“Who’s asking?” His voice is gruff.
Not what I expected. Then again, I’m not sure what I expected.
Veronica pulls us into the room. “I’m Veronica. My friend here is Alice.”
“Hello.” My voice sounds about as strong as a whiff of air.
“Not looking for Girl Scout Cookies,” he says with a harrumph.
Veronica lets go of my hand. “That’s an odd thing to say.”
“Why’s that? Sounds like you’re both about ten years old. Why else would you visit an old blind man?”
Adrenaline pumps through my veins and kills my fear. I sweep Esther back and forth and move forward several steps. “We’re here because you’re my father.”
He ignores my statement. “I know the sound of a white cane. How long you been blind?”
“Most of my life, like you.”
“That so?” He clears his throat and the gurgle of phlegm makes me want to gag. “You’re a genuine expert on Isaiah Mallard are ya?”
“Enough to be here.” I shift my weight to my right leg and lean on Esther.
Veronica touches my shoulder. “Ally, I’m going to step outside for a bit. Just holler if you need me.”
I reach up and touch her hand. “Thanks, Vee.”
Veronica exits the room and closes the door behind her.
I take another step forward. “I know who you really are.”
“Come to kill me then?” His voice is flat and doesn’t quaver. “I’ve been waiting for this day for quite some time.”
I gasp and step backward. “Why would I want to kill you?”
“Don’t assume I’m an easy target because I’m old and blind. I killed the last Shadow Priest who came after me and I’ll do the same to you if you don’t leave.”
Mother’s right. He is insane, but I can’t walk away emptyhanded. “I came here for answers, not to kill you. I know your real name is Phillip. You were born blind just like me, but then you changed your name in 1990. How does a blind man obtain a driver’s license?”
He coughs and clears his throat again. “Who did you say you were?”
“I’m Alice, the daughter of Gladys Bergman.”
He growls, “Name means nothing to me.” Inflections in his voice tell me he’s lying.
“Like you, I gained my vision, but it only lasted ten years. I’m blind again and want to know why. Can you help me or not?”
“You traipse in here like you own the place, claim you’re some long lost child of mine, and demand answers of me because you’re smart enough to do a few internet searches about me. What kind of fool do you take me for?” His voice is stern but not angry. “I can’t see a thing and I don’t know you from Eve, so your word is about as useful as a fart in a hurricane. Unless you’ve brought proof of who you are you might as well turn around and walk your happy butt right out of here. You’ll get nothing from me without proof.”
I move my left hand to my hip. “And how am I supposed to bring you proof? It’s not like you passed down any family heirlooms to me.”
“Darling, I’m sure you’ll come up with something. If you don’t, then don’t bother coming back.” He groans and hacks. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a bone to pick with Mother Nature. Lunch is talking back.”
I’m so frustrated that I want to unleash Esther on him. “Mark my words, I’ll be back.”
“You do that, terminator. Can’t say I’ll be looking forward to it.”
I turn around and stomp over to the door. I throw it open and it bangs against the wall. “You out here, Vee?”
“Right beside you.” She takes my right hand in her left. “You okay? Your face is flushed.”
I shake my fist and Esther. “That bastard is crazy. He’s demanding proof of who I am before he’ll talk to me.”
She lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Look, I don’t want to be the voice of reason, especially since I’m terrible at the role, but wouldn’t you require the same of him if the roles were reversed?”
“You’re siding with him? Turncoat!”
She moves my hand to her right hand and puts her left arm around me. “Love you so much, Ally. Let’s go get that proof he wants.”
“Damn straight.” I lean over and try to kiss her cheek, but my lips wind up on her ear. She giggles.
We walk back down the hallway and over to the nurse’s station. Veronica
grabs our IDs from Nurse Vance and we exit once the doors fully open. Tension builds in my neck and shoulders.
I’ve only got three-and-a-half days before the Braille Killer will probably kill again and I’ve got nothing to go on. I don’t even know if my father’s sane enough to give me any information that will help either, but first I need proof of who I am.
I hope I’m not wasting my time.
* * * * *
“Do you love me, Mother?”
“Don’t be silly, Alice. You know that I do.”
“Then take me to see my father.”
Mother huffs. “I told you yesterday why I can’t do that.”
“You have no right to keep me from getting to know him.”
“I’m not stopping you, Alice, but I’m not about to help you either.”
“And that’s what Jesus is telling you? Keep me away from my father? Is that what he teaches?”
“One has nothing to do with the other.”
“Doesn’t it? My father won’t speak to me unless I can prove that I’m his daughter. How else do you expect me to prove that than by bringing you with me to see him?”
“How about a paternity test? Those are pretty accurate, right?”
“Except for the fact that he’s blind. I could easily bring him a blank piece of paper and tell him that he’s my father, but he’ll never believe it. I don’t think he’d even believe a nurse if one read it to him. I need more substantial proof. I need you, Mother. You are the only way I’ll ever be able to talk to him. Don’t you understand how important this is to me?”
“And what will you do for me in return?”
“Anything.”
“You start coming to church with me every Sunday and I will take you to see your father.”
“That’s blackmail!”
“It goes both ways, dear.“
“Fine. I promise to start going to church with you if you promise to take me to see him tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? I’m not sure tomorrow will work. I’ve got a plethora of things to do tomorrow.”
I cross my arms. “Tomorrow, or I’ll never set foot inside a church again.”
“You’re an evil little thing.” She sighs. “Fine. I promise to take you to see your father tomorrow.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Mother and I stand outside the doors of St. Thomas Psychiatric Center. Muffled screams penetrate the thick walls at an almost regular interval. What in the world is going on in there?
Yesterday I was a ball of nerves coming here. Today is proving no different. My teeth chatter and my hands tremble.
I hold Mother’s hand. Together our shaking might bring down the entire hospital. Buildings aren’t built to withstand earthquakes in this region of the country. “We can do this, Mother. Your part is simple. Convince him of who I am and then you can come back out here.”
“No, no, no. This is a bad idea. Nothing good will come of you talking to that man. He’s insane, Alice. That’s why he’s in this facility. God saved us from him once. Let’s not test God’s grace with this.”
I squeeze her hand. “You made me a promise, remember?”
“I know I did, but I didn’t realize it would be this hard. I haven’t seen that man in over ten years. Please don’t ask me to do this.”
“I would never ask it of you if it wasn’t important.” I lift her hand to my lips. “I love you, Mother, but I’ve exhausted all my other options. Besides, you’re constantly going on about how God won’t allow us to go through something we can’t handle. If that’s true, then what do you have to fear seeing my father?”
She sighs loudly. “God help me. God help us both.”
She presses the call button and we wait almost a minute for one of the nurses to assist us. “May I help you?” The female voice comes through the speaker on the wall.
Mother clears her throat. “We’re here to see Isaiah Mallard.”
“Certainly. Please place you IDs in the silver tray.” Mother and I put our IDs into it. “Thank you. They will be returned to you when you leave.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“Please stand clear of the door. It will swing outward.”
Mother pulls me back a step. The doorlatch clicks and the motor on the automatic door whirs. Another click and Mother guides me through the open door. The nurse is there to greet us.
“Right this way, ladies, and please forgive the noise today. We’ve got a new resident who’s having a difficult time adapting to their environment. We’ve adjusted their meds, so things should be quiet now.”
Adjusting meds is always code for sedation. My nerves are so frayed that I could use a few pills about now. Mother holds my arm and we follow the nurse.
“Mr. Mallard just ate lunch, so your timing is perfect. He tends to be in better spirits on a full stomach.”
Wasn’t the case yesterday.
Chatter fills the air and I wonder how many of the conversations are one-sided. We stop, and the nurse knocks on a door and opens it. “Mr. Mallard? You have guests.”
“If I wanted guests, I would’ve invited them.”
I sigh. We’re definitely in the right place.
“He’s all yours, ladies.” I hear the nurse walk away.
Mother doesn’t move. Her hand is stone on my arm. I pull on it, but she doesn’t budge. I whisper to her. “Two minutes and then you can leave. I promise.”
“What’s the meaning of this? You just come to stare? This ain’t no petting zoo. Animals here are all wild. You got your look. Now get going before I dial up security.”
Mother’s arm relaxes. “Hello, Isaiah.” She leads us into the room.
Bedsprings creak. “Heavens, I know that voice. Gladys? Is that really you?”
Mother releases my arm. “The one and only.”
He harrumphs. “For all I know, it could be a voice recording. Can’t trust anything with technology these days.”
I move forward a step. “I said I’d bring proof. Is she not good enough for you?”
Father snorts. “Tell me something only you’d know, Gladys.”
Mother brushes past me. She whispers something to him and I strain my ears to hear it, but I cannot make out any of her words.
Bedsprings creak again. “I didn’t think I’d see you again, Gladys. Not after the way things ended between us the last time.”
Mother touches my arm. “I’ll be out in the lobby. Take as long as you need. I’ll be conversing with Jesus.”
I grab hold of her elbow. “What did you say to him?”
“Nothing you’ll ever know.” She pats my hand with her other hand. “Be careful of what he tells you.”
“Are we alone in here?” I ask.
“You’re alone. I’ll close the door behind me.”
I let go of her arm. “Thank you, Mother.”
She walks away and closes the door behind her.
For several moments, the only sound in the room is heavy breathing. I don’t know where to begin. I’ve never been down this road.
His voice severs the silence. “If she says you’re my daughter then you must be, but why are you here? Why now? What do you want from me? I’ve nothing to offer.” There’s a softness in his voice that wasn’t there yesterday.
I cling to Esther. “I need answers.”
“Answers to what?”
I move forward. “Can I sit down?”
“Do whatever you want. I don’t make the rules around here.” The edge is back in his voice.
I locate the side of the bed and sit down. “Why are you so hostile toward me? I’m your daughter.”
“Forgive me. I didn’t know I had a daughter until a few minutes ago.” Pain tremors in his voice.
My heart aches for him. “She never told you about me?”
Some sounds are distinct, like a tissue scraping against cardboard as it’s pulled from its box. I hear it now.
“No. I knew she
was pregnant all those years ago, but I’d pushed it from my mind. I thought I’d never meet you.” Isaiah blows his nose. “I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotions I’m feeling right now. I don’t even know the first thing about you, yet I care deeply for you already. I haven’t cared about anything or anyone in a long time.”
I’m stunned. Without words. I’ve spent so long hating him that I can’t reconcile the man who sits next to me with the one I created in my mind. He’s been dead for as long as I’ve been alive.
How will I ever forgive Mother?
My throat tightens, and I swallow back tears. “Why did she come see you ten years ago?”
“I don’t know. Our conversation never made it that far. I thought she was one of them.”
“One of whom?”
“The Shadow Priests. I’d just lost my vision a few months before and I thought she’d come to kill me. It didn’t seem like a coincidence at the time. I would’ve killed her if the nurse hadn’t come in.”
“You’re not making any sense and you’re starting to scare me.” I want to leave but I can’t move.
“Do you have the mark?”
Mother’s right. He’s insane.
He grabs my left wrist and I jerk it away. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I can hardly breathe.
He breathes deep. “I can feel it. You’re like me. You’ve got a mark on the inside of your wrist, don’t you?”
“If you’re talking about my birthmark, then yes.” I trace it with my finger.
“That’s no birthmark, darling.” His voice cuddles, but it only heightens my fear.
“How would you know what it is or isn’t?”
“An open eye with a curved sickle blade above it.”
My heart leaps about in my chest like a caged animal. “How could you possibly know that?”
He leans forward, cinnamon on his breath. “Because I have a mark of my own just like it.”
I rub my wrist. “What does it mean?”
“It means that you’re special, like me.”
My chest tightens. “Special how?”
“Have you experienced any visions?”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“Spirit walking. Experiencing memories from those that have moved on from this world.”
The Braille Killer (An Alice Bergman Novel Book 1) Page 26