“I know… but still. I wonder if some of what he said is true.”
“What exactly are you wondering about?” She ruffles my hair. “You haven’t said anything that rings true or is even rational for that matter.”
“It might sound crazy, but I’m beginning to wonder if Denise’s death was really an accident. Could I have killed her?”
“Don’t even go there, Ally. You’re one of the sweetest people on the planet. There’s no way you killed her. You didn’t even know her.”
“Maybe not, but I remembered the smell of her perfume. It wafted in the hallway outside Dr. Strong’s office that day when I came out of my therapy session. I panicked when I smelled it. Next thing I know I’m waking up and she’s dead.” I sigh and rub my face. “I just don’t know Vee. Maybe I did killer her.”
“That’s absurd and borderline insane.” She thumps the top of my head.
“Ow!” I smack her leg and then rub my head. “You’re evil!”
“Your thoughts are evil! Get that crap out of there before you start believing it. It’s exactly what he wants. You start believing that and he can manipulate you into doing terrible things.”
“Ugh. I know but he’s had ten years to beat it into me. He’s ruined my life and I hate him for it.”
Veronica kisses the top of my head where she thumped it. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get through this together.”
“I know. Thanks for being here. I really needed you today with everything going on.”
“Speaking of everything going on, what’s with the beefcake outside the front door? You on some sort of house arrest or something?”
“Just more trouble in Wonderland. I was called back into the police station this morning. They found some evidence that led them to believe that the killer is targeting me as one of his next victims.”
Veronica sits up. “What? When were you planning on dropping that bomb on me?”
I shrug. “Just did. I’m not so sure their intel is credible though.”
“And why do you think that?”
I look around out of habit and then shake my head at the absurdity of it. “We’re alone, right?”
“We sure as hell better be! I don’t traipse around in my boxers and tank top with just anyone.” Veronica grabs my arm. “Seth doesn’t have some hidden camera that he uses to video you guys having sex, does he?”
“If he does and I find out I will most certainly become a killer.”
She lies back down. “Why were you asking if we were alone?”
I lie on my back and bend my knees. “I haven’t told anyone what I’m about to tell you, so please keep it between us.”
She kisses the top of my head. “I never kiss and tell, Ally.”
“I’ve encountered the killer on multiple occasions. If he wanted me dead, he would’ve killed me already.”
“And how do you know it was him?”
“There are certain things I remember about him from the day he and Denise abducted and raped me. He has a hairy and badly scarred chest—a thick, knotted zipper down his front like Frankenstein’s monster.” I hug myself.
Veronica squirms next to me. “Damn…”
“I saw him and confronted him at the storage facility, but he got the upper hand on me because I came around a corner too quickly and fell over the top of one of those stupid hand trucks. I gashed my shins and my gun flew out of my hand. It hurt so bad that I could hardly move. He picked up my gun and had it aimed at me but didn’t shoot. Instead he picked me up and carried me up to my storage unit and left me there. Why would he do that if he plans to kill me?”
Veronica turns on her side. “I don’t know… could he be waiting for something?”
“I suppose, but what? What’s changed between then and now?” The answer pops into my mind and I shudder.
“What is it? You okay?”
“I think I know the answer but I’m not sure what it means.” I bite my lower lip and search through my memories for meaning but can’t find one.
She shakes my shoulder gently. “You going to tell me or keep it to yourself like you’ve been doing?”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve never been blind when I’ve encountered him other than that first time with Denise.”
“So you think he was waiting for you to go blind again? Why? How would he even know that you would?”
“I don’t know, but it just feels right.”
She pushes my legs over. “I ain’t stupid. It’s because of something your insane father said to you, right? I love you Ally, but it sounds like you’re heading off the deep end. There’s no life beyond our planet and you’re not blind again because you haven’t killed anyone. You’ve just been dealt a crappy hand in life. Deal with it like the rest of us.”
The more I think about it the stronger I feel the truth in it. He has been waiting for me to go blind again but why? What purpose does it serve him? Does he have some sort of crazy principle that he adheres to that requires that he only kill blind girls?
I hate lying to Veronica, but I must. “You’re right Vee, as always. That’s an insane notion. Consider it purged from my mind.”
She hugs me tight. “Good. I love you to the moon and back and wouldn’t want to see you locked away like your father.”
Father… I just can’t wrap my mind around the things he told me, but I can’t dismiss everything he said either. His words are a two-edged dagger and I’m not sure I’m willing to impale myself on them.
I sit up and hug my legs. “Can I tell you something else?”
Veronica sits up and puts her arm around me. “I’ll be anything you need, Ally. Eyes, ears, hands, friend…” Her voice quavers.
I continue, “The other night Seth and I had sex. It was the first time I’ve ever done it while blind other than when Denise and that bastard raped me. As soon as Seth crawled onto the bed with me my mind reverted back to that horrible day. Every touch repulsed me and shamed me, but I couldn’t find a way to tell him.”
Tears wet my cheeks. “He didn’t seem to notice though until almost the end. I thought I was going to die by the time he finished. I’ll never have sex again while I’m blind. I just can’t do it.”
Veronica puts her hand on my cheek and wipes it with her thumb. “I’m sorry you had to endure that. I’ve never contemplated how my touching you and kissing you would affect you. I’m such a fool. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know.”
I embrace her and hold her tight. “Never, Vee. You’re the sister I never had and my best friend. Don’t ever compare yourself to her. She kidnapped me and forced herself on me.”
“You don’t understand… I…”
I know what she wants to say but I’m glad she doesn’t. It would destroy me if I ever had to break her heart. She’s one of the best parts of my life and my best friend but we could never be more. To my core I am a woman and I know I was made for a man. Deep inside I think she feels the same, but her uncle abused her and left her broken. I wish I had the words or the power to heal her, but I don’t.
I release her. “I know.”
“But I—”
The front door squeaks open.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
My hand creeps toward Esther, and Veronica whimpers next to me as we await the next sound. The front door slams shut and shakes the walls. Veronica jumps and stifles a cry. I roll off the end of the bed, Esther in hand and ready to strike.
“Alice? I’m back.”
Seth. My heart starts beating again.
Veronica exhales. “Man you’ve got me wound so tight.”
I lower Esther. “Myself too.”
I sit on the end of the bed. “We’re in the bedroom, Seth. We’ll be out in a minute.”
Veronica grunts as she squeezes back into her skintight jeans. I do the same, but mine are far less tight. I prefer them loose so that I can move easier. It’s better for the job too.
I slide my shirt back over my head, but it doesn’t f
eel right. Veronica laughs and helps me turn it around the right way. “Thanks.” I don’t bother with my socks and shoes because I don’t plan on going anywhere tonight.
We emerge from the bedroom and the heat hits me again. I’m just a few paces from the gates of hell. One false step and I’ll plunge into the depths of the fiery lake.
Water’s running full blast in the kitchen sink. A plastic bag rustles. Veronica gasps and grabs my hand.
“You’re a little liar,” she whispers. “You told me that Seth didn’t cook.”
I shrug. “He doesn’t. At least I’ve never witnessed him cook anything in the last two years.”
“Well he’s cooking now.” She nudges my side with her elbow. “I think that’s my exit cue.”
“The hell it is.” I latch onto her arm. “You’re not going anywhere.”
She leans close and whispers in my ear. “What if he wants to make up with you?”
I yank on her arm. “Exactly! You’re not going anywhere.”
She sighs. “We’re not doing a threesome.”
I recoil. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Oh! Sorry, Ally.” She hugs me. “My mind didn’t process that until it’d already left my lips. Sorry I’m so dense at times.”
“Forget it.” I walk over to the kitchen counter and sit on one of the barstools. “What are you up to, Seth?”
He turns off the water. “Thought I’d make dinner for the three of us. I know the last few weeks have been stressful for all of us and I thought it might be nice for a change.”
I lean on my elbow. “Two years and you’ve never offered to make dinner. Who are you and what have you done with the real Seth?”
“Truth be told, I’ve been taking some online courses.” He sounds a bit defensive. “I’m trying to graduate from cold cereal and microwave dinners. Is that a bad thing?”
Veronica sits on the barstool next to me. “Guess we’ll find out. Hope you got pizza on speed dial.”
Seth scoffs. “Speed dial? What decade do you live in? I’ve got a one-touch pizza button on my phone and I know all the drivers personally.”
I snicker. “It’s true.”
Veronica’s arm brushes mine as she scoots her chair closer to the counter. “So what are you making?”
Seth bangs around in the cabinets. “Spaghetti with red sauce and garlic parmesan breadsticks. Oh, and salad with a few types of lettuce, a carrot or two, spinach, cucumbers, red cabbage, craisins, apples, and some walnuts. Raspberry vinaigrette to top it off.”
I nearly fall off my chair. “All from scratch?”
“Baby steps, Alice. I’m boiling water for pasta. The rest is prepackaged.”
I sit back up. “Well I’m still impressed.”
“It’ll be about twenty minutes before it’s ready.”
Veronica drums the counter. “Sounds good. We’ll be right here waiting.”
“No, no, no. You two don’t need to sit there and watch. I’m nervous enough as it is and you’re not helping. Go sit on the couch or something.”
I huff. “Fine.” I hop off my stool, grab Veronica’s arm, and pull her away.
Two hours later, the three of us are lounging on the couch, our stomachs filled with spaghetti and salad. Seth has been anything but cold to me. His hand touched mine several times through dinner and now he’s so close I can feel his body heat.
At several points this evening I forgot that we weren’t together anymore. As much as I want to be with him, I’m thankful that Veronica’s been here. There’s no way I could ever suffer through another episode of blind sex and explaining that to Seth would be damn near impossible.
Veronica hops up from the couch and leaves me in a hole. “It’s been a fun afternoon, but I need to get home to Guenter before he eats the side of my couch or something worse.”
My stomach lurches as I pull myself up. I don’t want to be alone with Seth. “You can go get him and come back over. Seth doesn’t mind, right?”
“Not at all.”
“Appreciate the thought, but no can do bestie. I’ve got a work thing tomorrow that I can’t miss. Some worthless ethics training I believe.”
I find her and hug her. I whisper in her ear, “Don’t leave me with him.”
She whispers back, “I don’t think sex is part of his plan this evening. You’re safe. Besides, you can always use the migraine or period card. Those never fail to deter.” She kisses my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” She walks toward the front door. “Bye, Seth. Thanks for dinner and for not killing me!”
Seth gets up and walks past me. “You’re welcome, Veronica. Have a good evening and drive safe.”
The door opens, closes, and locks, and my pulse soars. I sit back down on the couch and pray that Seth doesn’t try and seduce me. All I can think about is sinewy scars, hairy chests, and the smells of garlic, pickles, and cigarettes.
Seth returns to the couch and sits closer to me than I’d like. “We need to talk.”
“We do?” My heart thunders. “About what?”
“I think you know.”
“I do?” My hands tremble. I slide them under my thighs. I’m about ready to pull my phone out of my pocket and call Veronica to come back. “Seth, I…”
Seth groans and his hand brushes mine. “This case has driven a wedge between us and I hate it. I’m still hurt that you didn’t confide in me but at the same time I think I understand why now. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve gone through over the last decade because of this guy and I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, but I want you to know that I’m here for you.
“I still love you, Alice. I will always love you. However, there’s no way we can move forward together until this case is solved. We have too many ties to it and things to work through but once it’s behind us I’d like to work on us again… if that’s what you want.”
My heart soars to the heavens, but my nerves are still frayed. How could I be with him if my vision doesn’t return? “I’ve never wanted anything more… to all of it. Let’s nail this bastard so we can move on with our lives.”
He slides right next to me. “Good. I know you’re on suspension, but I’d really like to go over all the evidence with you one last time if you’re okay with that. You have more insight into all of it than all the rest of us combined and I think together we can break this case wide open.”
I catch myself reaching for his leg and pull my hand back. “I never thought you’d ask.”
“Let me grab the case files.” He gets up from the couch. “Be right back.”
I rub my hands together, suddenly chilled despite the sweltering heat. I think about Mother and the older black woman at the hospital who calmed me down when I was seeing the Braille Killer everywhere I turned. Once again, I find myself praying to the God I’ve never known. I feel foolish, yet the experience is strangely satisfying as well.
Seth returns, plops down on the couch next to me, and hands me a stack of folders. He begins ransacking a stack of papers of his own.
I sit here in silence. Seth is too engrossed in his task to notice I’ve done nothing with the folders he handed me. Finally, I speak. “What would you like me to do with these?”
“I tho—damn, I’m sorry. Not used to you being blind. Guess we’ll go through all this stuff together.”
I hand the folders back to him. “Let’s start with the letters and items. The other day you told me I was blind to what was right in front of me. I think you were right, but not exactly in what you were implying at the time. It got me thinking about this case and everything the Braille Killer has sent me. I might have an idea about what we’ve been missing.”
“Really? Great. Let me find that folder.” He leafs through several items. “Ah hah, found it. Want me to read you the note?”
“No, I remember it well enough. This one contained the picture of Denise dead on the floor, right?”
“Um… yes.”
“I
didn’t spend much time looking at the photo because it was so disturbing at the time. She’s wearing jewelry in the photo, correct?”
“I believe so. Yes, some sort of friendship necklace. A puzzle piece with a heart on it.”
“Right.” I chew on my thumbnail. “Can you compare that photo to the police photos from the crime scene?”
“Sure, give me a minute.”
I know what he’s going to find. Or rather what he won’t find.
Seth stops rifling through paper. “I’ll be damned.”
“No necklace. Correct?”
“Right. That means he was at the scene of the crime when it happened and took the necklace after snapping a photo of her.”
“Exactly. The question is why were they both there that day?”
“I don’t know. Any thoughts?”
“I can’t prove anything, but I think they might’ve been waiting for me. Why else would they have shown up at my psychiatrist’s office?”
Seth rubs his face, stubble grating against flesh. “That’s a good question, but where are you headed with this train of thought?”
“The necklace in the photo is the same as the actual necklace he sent me with the second letter.”
Seth digs up the second letter and necklace. “Looks like it’s the same one to me.”
“Can I see the necklace?” Seth hands it to me.
Sometimes I see better with my fingers than I ever did with vision. The front has some writing on it, but it’s the back that interests me. It’s slightly softer than the front and snags my skin a bit when I rub my finger on it. I scrape my fingernail across the back of the necklace and a clay-like substance rolls up underneath it.
I hand the necklace to Seth and dig the substance from under my nail. “What did I just do?”
“Well… that’s interesting.” Seth leans across me.
There’s a lamp on the end table next to me, so I don’t panic. “What is it?”
“Looks like you’ve uncovered some engraved letters.”
My hands tingle and my stomach flutters. How I missed it for nine years is beyond me. “And what are they?”
“Looks like M-R-P.”
I grab Seth’s arm. “My God, Seth! I bet those are his initials.”
The Braille Killer (An Alice Bergman Novel Book 1) Page 28